The Greatest Wizard of Our Time: Dumbledore Answers Questions
Black: I'm Sirius Orion Black, here today with Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts (widely acknowledged to be the best wizarding school in the world) and the widely acknowledge most powerful wizard of our age, here to answer questions for Gryffindor Students. Now Professor, NyQueenie wants to ask if you and Professor McGonagall are an item.
Dumbledore: *chuckle* Professor McGonagall and I are not 'an item' as she so quaintly put it. We are good friends and co-workers.
Black: Just asking the questions, Professor! Wormtail wrote in, saying (quote)" Dear Prof. Dumbledore- I am writing in concern for your hair. It seems to be getting grayer. My dad is going through the same thing. But to make up for it he bought a red car (a Muggle invention) and is snogging a hooker from Kent. He is feeling much better about his hair now. If you want, I can get you some Revlon. Deep Regards, Wormtail." (unquote).
Dumbledore: *chuckles again* Thank you for your concern, Wormtail, but I like my hair the way it is now.
Black: And we have another question here: About how many times is Sirius Black in your office per week? What do you usually tell him when he breaks the rules? Do you lecture him? I'd just thought I'd point out to you that whatever you're doing isn't working.
Dumbledore: Mr. Black is in my office an average of three times per week. Lecturing has no effect--I own his parents, but they seem used to it by now. He receives many detentions, you notice. If you think you can do better, I'd be delighted to let you try.
Black: *sweatdrop* And ColorguardGirl wants to know how you put up with attention seeking egomaniacs such as Sirius Black...hey!
Dumbledore: By using a lot of tact and a lot of self control. It isn't an easy job when you have to deal with idiotic people.
Black: This has been Albus Dumbledore in the Gryffindor Oracle. Now, your reporter is off to find more people to interview randomly.
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
I don't have any boxers left. I think the House Elves are keeping them. Evil, rotten little creatures. I'm not wearing any right now as I'm writing this. Can I borrow a pair from you, it's a little breezy at the moment.
-In Need of Underwear (Padfoot)
Dear Padfoot,
If you wouldn't prank the house elves, that wouldn't happen to you. Go back to sleep. You have your own column, quit invading mine.
Moony
Dear Moony,
I'm in love with you! Please love me back! I want to go out with you, Sirius, James and Snape! All at once.
-Hopelessly in love with you
Dear Hopelessly in love with you,
You have serious problems. Sirius, James, and Snape are worst enemies. How can you like all three at once. I'm attached, read the Lion's Roar.
Moony
Dear Moony,
Dead people stalk me. It scares me. How do I make them stop?
-creeped out
Dear Creeped Out,
Use a spork, knock the dead people out with a spatula, or attack him/her with a spoon to make the dead people go away. And get counseling.
Moony
Dear Moony,
My dorm-mates just poured owl droppings into my book bag. Then at lunch they took my potions homework and scribbled that I loved the Professor and wanted to marry him. I think it was because I was up all night complaining about the decor.
-Woe-Is-Me
Dear Woe-Is-Me,
Treat your dorm mates nicer. Put Puking Potion in their morning pumpking juice and put Dungbombs in their beds. Then give them a good memory charm if they suspect you .
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Lioness Thought of the Day
If we respected the world the way Spongebob respected jellyfish, the world would be a better place. Despite the fact that it's the seventies and we're wizards and we know nothing about Spongebob. Whatever.
The Lioness
Weather
The Great Hall is going to be clear tonight, with a beautiful full moon and perfect star-gazing for Astronomy tonight. But the sky should be clouding up tomorrow and it'll be cloudy the rest of the week, with some snow coming down later in the week. Get ready for snowball fights!
Jim, Weather Wizard
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 435
Hufflepuff: 444
Slytherin: 401
Ravenclaw: 401.7
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 115, 6th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Picture of the Moment = http:// www.geocities.com/ purpleabigail/ lineup.jpg
Notebook: Only 4 letters to Ask Moony will be in each edition of the Oracle now that Ask Moony is its own fic. And Thursday and Friday I'll be gone, and all next week I'll be in California, so updates will be two weeks away at least. I will have 300 emails when I get back...*groan*. I get at least 26 email a day. Sad, isn't it? I'm also writing a really dark fic called Ties that Bind about Narcissa Malfoy, if you want to read that while I'm gone. Next issue's article - Catching Those Zzz's: Sleep Habits of Gryffindor Students
And Ask Moony has its own fic = here, so Ask Moony questions there and I'll transfer four of them here. This has to be the longest Author note in history...sigh. Thanks to: Lemon, melaniewilliamsandharrypotter, little-lost-one, and LeperMessiah for the Ask Moony sections, and for LeperMessiah, Silver Meteor, and NyQueenie for questions to Dumbledore. Anyone else who asked a question of Moony, read Ask Moony the fic, because it's there.
Also, if you want an example of an MST, read "If Only They Had Listened to the Fanfic." It's under my favorites.There, now you have plenty to do while I'm gone.