A/N 800 Hits + YeY! Anyway… louiebugooey I think I spelled it right this time… anyway he is on vaycay… so I prolly wont get reviews fer a while from him…. But super big thanks to those of you who put me on alert and on fav. Lists! I love seeing that, it makes me happy. I hope you all are enjoying the new length of my chapters! I know I am…. I think I am getting into the zone… so without further delay here is the story…wait!… And A super huge thanks will always go out to Carebearerin who has been sticking with this story…. Luv ya… Anyway on with the show…. Enjoy!

"You stupid dirty Mudblood. What a waste of being! Why were you sent to this earth?" He raged at the girl in front of him. Lifting his hand, he knew she was pinned on the wall, he could get his rage out. But then she cowered, winced at him and began silently crying. She had stopped trying to get away, and now just stood there shaking. Instantly her face was replaced with his mothers, this is exactly what she looked like every time she was with his father. He let her go and she didn't move, just stood there anticipating and waiting. "Go!" he said.

"I'm sorry" she whispered before running off into her room.

He followed her steps to the door once she was safely inside, and held his ear to it, a pained expression all to familiar to his face was there again as he listened to her sobs through the door. How had he just done that, raised his hand at another person? Just like his father? He vowed he would never do this, and yet the girl in the room crying herself to sleep was proof that he had just done it. But why hadn't she tried to run when he raised his hand? Most people would have. 'Stupid naive people' he thought bitterly to himself.

"I swear it, it will never happen again" he said it to no one in particular, just so he knew he had said it. With that he left her door and crossed the hall to his room.

He opened the door to his sanctuary, this wasn't any normal room, it was huge, it even made up for the smallness of the common room. There was a huge book shelf next to an entertaining nook, and in the center of the room was a large circular bed covered in a thick black mink blanket with a decorative green dragon, it had silver silk sheets and pillow cases, not because these were his house colors, but because they were his favorite. All the furniture was mahogany wood, and the windows where high and covered in a black gossamer curtain that only kept the sunlight out for so long.

He went over to his book shelf the sixth row up fourth book from the left and pulled out an old dusty book. On the spine of the leather clad book were the words 'Life's Curses'. His mother had made this especially for him when she found that he was to become Head Boy. Although it looked like a book it was his journal, and it didn't hold normal things, it truly held life's curses. It had been given to him this year in its secret form because, ever since he was born it was always a bad thing to have your weaknesses written, his father said it made you soft, and obviously vulnerable.

He sat down in the nook and pulled a quill off the desk then began to turn to a fresh page in the book. He removed the green ribbon bookmark from the page it held and set his quill to the paper. Then he stopped, he couldn't say that he had just done what he did, it would make it too real, it would mean that he had become a hypocrite.

Going over to his trunk, he pulled out a bottle, it may have said Evian, but that isn't what he had in it, sometimes Filch could be so daft. Taking a sip from the luke warm bottle he grimaced, vodka was never good warm, but it would do. Then he went back over to the book and began to write.

Today... well tonight actually, I may have gotten a little out of hand. To start the day off right, I received a letter from him, it talked all about how I should do at school, and how if I didn't listen to him bad things would happen, I don't care if bad things happen to me, it is mum I'm worried about. But then there were my classes, it was like the professors were against me, essay after essay, and then Snape has the nerve to call out the defects of my potion in class. But then what topped it off was Granger... ew... well first the girl wouldn't lay off me about having all these head duties, then there was the little stint about me needing to do the homework now, she is just a nagging little twit, then next thing you know she knocked my bloody bottle of ink off the desk and shattered it, just when I was half way through an essay! I know what a clumsy little... well... never mind, but the point is that I guess i had enough for tonight after the letter i got from father, but still I shouldn't have done it. I raised my hand to her, i had her against a wall. I was going to hit her. I didn't, but it was so close. I felt so much like father. It was empowering, but then i felt sick. I will never be like him, and the way she began to shake and cry and close her eyes like she was expecting it, it was just like mum. so i let go of her and she didn't run, she sat there, head turned eyes closed, like she was waiting for it. Why would she do that... Normal people would run... what am I saying? Granger is far from normal! So I have said it, and now I will write it. A blood vow.

I Draco Ambrose Malfoy Will never raise my hand to someone, any one, and if I do i shall be punished... by some one, even myself.

He went to the back of the book and pulled out the squiggly blade of a handle less dagger and lifted his shirt. He pulled the blade across his stomach leaving a shallow bleeding cut. Then he cut the tip of his right index finger and thumb and held the blade like a pencil quickly signing his name in his blood to the vow he had made.

Draco Ambrose Malfoy

He took the blade and wiped it on his robes then placed it gently into the back of his book. Then came the little green ribbon of a bookmark. Closing the book he headed back to the book shelf and placed it back in its dusty spot. It was charmed to always be an old dusty never been read looking book. He took one last large drink from his Evian bottle and placed the half empty bottle back into his trunk before changing into a pair of dark green silk boxers and black wife beater shirt.

He jumped onto his bed. He had been there four days, and only one of them had classes, the pressure was already getting to him. Could he handle it? And what was with Granger? She had changed over the summer, but she wasn't the kind to stand there and take it like that. Draco now had an Idea to what had changed her, but he couldn't be sure, but her eyes, they told it all. Something in her was so familiar, and yet seemed so off, he didn't know why, but he was going to figure it out.

fe

Draco ll into a restless sleep that was plagued with not nightmares, but memories of his childhood, and fears, and worst off were unanswered questions, the kind that you think will never be answered.

A look inside the dreams

"Shhh… Draco, it'll be okay. Shhh." He heard his mothers voice cooing gently into his ear while the pain inside his chest grew. He didn't know it, but his father had cracked his five year old rib.

"Shhh… Draco, big boys don't cry… please… don't cry… shhh… don't let daddy hear you cry." He could hear her heart beating fast and the warmth radiating from her chest, it was all that was keeping him from letting out the pained screams. And soon he passed out in her arms from suppressing all of his tears, and blackness surrounded him.

Eight years old, he went running up to his room after a good yelling from his father, and then of course the inevitable beating. Suddenly he tripped and fell bloodying his knee, it hurt, but at the same time it made him feel better. He wiped the blood off with his fingers then licked it like any kid does. This was his first taste of controllable pain. Poking at the wound he relished in the pain he was giving himself, making the pain from his father go away. He could control this, much unlike his father. He ran into his room as he heard his fathers foot steps moving towards the stairs, and then he found a small dagger laying on his dresser, his father had given it to him. Picking it up in his hands he stared at it, gently gliding over it with his eyes. It was perfect, it had a brass handle conformed into an intricate and realistic dragon head, and moving down from it was a squiggly silver blade. It was then that he realized he held hope in his hand.

Lifting his hand it was brought down again for what seemed like the umpteenth time. He kicked the body laying lifeless on the floor. Nestling his hand into the mess of sweaty brown hair he tightened his hand into a clenched fist and turned the girls head around to look at him, he wanted to see her crying yet he didn't know why. She was sobbing.

He awoke with a start and looked aimlessly for the glowing numbers of the alarm clock only to see that it was around three in the morning. 'What the fuck was I doing? Was that… No, couldn't be. What was I doing?' he thought looking down through the dark at his hands, there was nothing on them like he had expected, he had been sleeping. Running his hand through his hair and shaking his head in disbelief he was surprised to feel the sickly wet, he was soaked with sweat. There was no use trying to get back to sleep so he headed out into the common room on the way to the Head bathroom to shower.

Anything to get the gross feelings of memories and dreams off of him.

A/n Well? I think I like this chapter best…Please please please let me know what you think…. Please? I know I may sound desperate, but this chapter I really loved…. And I want to know what you thought of it soo bad… even if you thought it was bad, cause then I will know what to work on… so yea, please review, once again it is that go button in the bottom left hand corner, even if you don't have an account you can do it. Also I would luv to hear from CHL… if she ever reads this again! Lol Well thank you in advance for reviewing!

Much luv, the crazy one heself

-Shadow….

P.S. Did u notice me in the last chapter? Lol I had to put myself in here somewhere… donworry I wont be a big character, that was my only appearance! Well that's all folks… thanks again for reviewing!

Special note to carebearerin-- I luv your reviews… I wish everyone would review as good as you, and I greatly value your input and honesty! And also, should you choose to write a fan fiction (I think you would be great at it) I would love it if you told me it was coming out, I think reading one of yours would be awesome… so until next time… thanx again!