Crisis in the House! Underwear and Sock Situations
This is James Potter, filling in for Sirius Black due to the fact he's rocking back in the fetal position, talkling about 'styrofoam squeak' and 'rats...JELL-O!' randomly from time to time and is currently incapicated to write anything. But he's doing a lot more than that...he also has no underwear.
The house elves of Hogwarts seemed to have finally reached their limit. They wrote Moony, in the "Ask Moony" column last week:
Dear Moony,
Please prevent your friend Sirius from torturing us.
~The House Elves of Hogwarts
And in retaliation for all this torture from Sirius, they seem to have stolen all of his underwear. He has currently asked everyone in the House (even girls) for underwear...six times. And the house-elves have not just stopped at underwear. They have also stolen Sirius's socks.
Sirius seems to have an obsession with socks. He only wears green socks. Ever. And several people have reported socks missing, including girls, and only green socks. It seems that Sirius is finally getting his payback for all that pranking the House Elves gave him.
Filling in for Sirius Black, this has been James Potter with the news. Come back later to see if Sirius's sock....and underwear... sitauation improved any while you were gone.
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
I need your help. Desperately.
I was peeking in the girl's toilets last Friday, when suddenly my pet snake falls out of my bag and goes into the bathroom. I follow him to the sink, and then he hissed at me. Next thing I know, I'm over balanced and falling down a secret passageway that appeared out of nowhere with my snake. I can't get back up, and I can't find any other way out. Since then, my snake's died and I've found a creepy room that has a large statue that looks like Salazar Slytherin. At night, I swear something's breathing behind that thing! Can you tell me how to get out? My owl's the only one that's found me, and it can only carry me so many chocolate frogs a week. You've gotta help me out, man!
-
Lost and Bloody Scared
(from WickerB)
Dear Lost and Bloody Scared,
It sounds like the Chamber of Secrets! No need to worry, it's a basilisk behind the statue. Just don't look it in the eyes. Um, yeah, if you want out, follow the tunnels down to the third grate on the left...it comes out into fifty feet beneath the lake, so hold your breath.
Moony
Dear Moony,
I have a crush on a boy. He has blond hair, brown eyes, and he's in Gryfindor. All my friends say he likes me to, but I don't know. He was willing to square dance with me when the Proffesors forced us to square dance at the ball, but I still don't know.
-A Gryfindor 1st year
(from kantomon)
Dear Gryffindor 1st Year,
Why don't you ask him?
Moony
Dear Moony,
Please prevent your friend Sirius from torturing us.
~The House Elves of Hogwarts
Dear House Elves,
I've tried. We've all tried. I think you should start putting things in his bed.
Moony
Dear Moony,
How am I supposed to get Sirius to notice me? All he does is point and laugh at me.
~Sirius hopeful
Dear Sirius Hopeful,
If he's pointing at you and laughing at you, he's noticing you.
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Lioness Poetry
The Lioness has picked a poem this week from the fifteen sent to her room and would like to say thank you to all the participants! The winning poem(s) follow.
There's no mountain too high,
No river too wide,
Call out my name,
I'll be by your side.
-Elizabeth Black-Pearl
Wasted away in Margaritaville,
Searchin for my lost shaker of salt,
Some people claim that there's this woman to blame,
But I think it could be my fault.
-C.J. Sparrow
So afraid to love you,
More afraid to lose.
Clinging to a past,
That doesn't let me choose.
-W. Turner
Once there was happines,
A deep and endless light.
You gave me everything you had,
Oh you gave me life.
-The Swan
(from LeperMessiah, but I changed Sparrow's part to Margaritaville because I thought it was more like him.)
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 425.9
Hufflepuff: 456
Slytherin: 440
Ravenclaw: 467
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 115, 10th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Notebook: Well, LeperMessiah, I think everyone is obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean (including me). His hands are wonderful, aren't they?? Go read Ask Moony if you want proof we're obsessed...-_-. and Golden*Faerey, YES! YES! Ruthless Killer! Murdererer! Me and my friends are plotting ways to kill her in her sleep....and thanks for all the poems, everybody! You rock! I'll use them in 11&12.
If anyone wants to help write an article, submit it and I'll think about it....Help with Lion's Skin or Lion's Roar would be greatly appreciated! It's about to get dropped altogether because it's so hard to write! And I don't like it!