Chapter twelve
Upon waking up the next morning, for a fleeting second, Tea still thought she could feel the heavy weight of her mistakes pulling down at her soul–but only for a second. The emotion evaporated in an instance, leaving her lighter and more free than she had felt in ages. The swelling happiness building in her heart was reaching quaking limits, and as she threw open her window, laced with ice, she had the utmost desire to become a bird and soar through the cold, early-morning sky. Anything seemed possible.
She had lived through her murky nightmare, braced her pained troubles, reached the end of her crashing storm, and found that happy endings are, indeed, possible.
Her friends accepted her.
The world suddenly seemed bright and cheerful, tinted with the joyous colors of green and red, the wind singing jingling melodies of Christmas carols. She breathed in the sweet, sharp air and turned over to her dresser, grinning as she pulled out her folded uniform.
But something caused her to pause and lift her face up slowly to the glassy portrait of the girl in the mirror–her reflection. Tea's hair was tangled and unruly, hanging in limp tufts around her face, which was pasty in the cool morning light. Yet the brunette was not focusing on her rough appearance, but the wide, cerulean orbs that gazed back at her through the glass, now slightly puzzled, but still vivid and alight.
"You have nice eyes. They're different from the rest of the world. They aren't cruel and sadistic."
The words rang in her head like a forgotten song suddenly recalled, beautiful, yet surreal, making her eyes grow brighter, and her heart flutter in a strange, flitting pattern. She had nice eyes. Seto Kaiba had told her that she had nice eyes. She stood in a trance, reliving the moment, remembering how she had smiled as she turned away and the sound of Mokuba's distant footsteps thudding towards the CEO from the mansion.
The wind whistled gently through the open window, sending glistening flakes of snow dancing before her eyes–eyes whose light could not be diminished–and the brunette smiled.
Perhaps fairy tales weren't as far off as people might think.
&&&
Mai's ears echoed with the heightening whoosh that resounded loudly as she swooped down the long, winding road. A noise that–on many other occasions–had sent the purest thrills of excitement streaming through her very being, resulting in her leaving the sluggish speed-limit even farther behind than usual.
But not today.
Blonde locks tumbling forcefully in the breeze, the woman gripped the steering wheel with unneeded firmness and let out a highly unladylike sigh. In fact, it was more of a grunt and clashed painfully with her feminine appearance. But as she zoomed down the deserted street, seething in nothing more than her own company, Mai had finally let her soul-shattering disappointment get the better of her.
"Honestly!" she spat angrily, throwing the word into the whipping wind. "I've seen children duel better than that! Here I come for a challenge, and what do I get? Amateurs! And what a ridiculous prize, a scrimpy hundred bucks...that trophy's not even real gold!"
As if to state its presence, the tiny trophy rattled and shook dangerously in the backseat, where she had thrown in carelessly, and the reminder of its existence sent a stabbing annoyance ringing throughout Mai's whole body.
"Somebody better put up another real tournament soon, I need a rematch with Yugi..."
Easing ever-so-slightly on the gas-pedal, Mai's boiling thoughts cooled just enough for her to remember Tea turning the poor boy down to some prom, and how she had confronted the brunette on the matter. A meeting that had ended in hysterical tears, confused emotions, and the mentioning of a mysterious "him."
The blonde sighed. The incident had certainly sent a few twangs of guilt bubbling within her, but she had been unable to wipe away all of her deepened annoyance for the girl–which was particularly why she had decided that a Duel Tournament was in order. She needed to get her mind off Yugi and Tea and the silly little "love triangle" that had somehow formed.
Still, the hovering note that the brunette must have fallen for someone else had continuously poked at the back of her mind, forming semiconsciously into an obsession, and Mai found herself finally giving into plowing over the matter.
Tea had denied any of her male friends, including Joey, Tristan, or Bakura. She had even objected to the ancient pharaoh that resided inside Yugi's puzzle–someone, who Mai had to admit, the girl had always seemed rather taken to.
So then who was it? Mai racked her brains furiously, but to no avail. Every result came to a dead end. Sighing, the woman cleared her mind completely of the meager tournament and singled out all she knew of Tea Garden.
And suddenly it came to her. Fast and sudden, like a ton of bricks, aching with sharp realization. Of course. How could she have forgotten? The small tidbits of information slowly began to come together, like tiny pieces of a complex jigsaw puzzle that's picture had long-since faded.
"Mai, can you keep a secret? I found Seto Kaiba's journal in school today..." "I don't know why I feel this way. I don't know why this happened..."
Grinning like a detective who just solved a particularly difficult mystery, she snatched her cell-phone and fumbled to dial a number while keeping her eyes half-heartedly on the road. Pressing it hard against her ear, she listened to the dull ringing until someone picked up.
"Hey, Joey. Did she tell you yet? She likes Seto Kaiba, doesn't she?"
&&&
Seto Kaiba hardly slept all night. Hours lingered by tauntingly, hovering over him like some sort of wretched plague. Darkness pressed firmly against his eyeballs, but he was unable to brush off the whirlwind of thoughts that hazed and muddled his brain.
What was happening to him? Why, suddenly, had he decided the need to embrace the Christmas holiday, to reemerge long-lost traditions that he normally kept stored within the innermost corners of his mind? This was not the way the emotionless, supposedly cold-hearted CEO was meant to act. And yet, he couldn't deny how happy it made him, seeing Mokuba so overjoyed...
When a fragile, shaky sleep finally forced his eyes closed, blurred events and past-histories flashed by too fast for him to comprehend, though he knew they were morbid and weighty with trauma, dragging him down stealthily.
—A tiny, brown-haired, blue-eyed child stands garbed in a suit, nibbling his fingernail as he gazes upon the strange, alien atmosphere, the mob of milling people, all grave and silent. And for a child "gifted" with such intelligence, he's unable to decipher why his mother is lying so stiff and cold within a casket, and why his father keeps shaking so violently, crushing the boy's small shoulder too tightly under his firm grip—
—the same child stands firmly against the policeman's words, who keeps stating again and again the lie that his father is dead, over the enhancing sobs of a minute Mokuba, who's clutching his big brother's forearm for support—
—the child is older now, changed, hardened, as he fights tirelessly against the bullies that torment his precious brother, the matron that refuses to see reason, protecting, protecting, protecting...he knows they need to get out of here—
—Mokuba's crying. Why is he crying? The child is a young man now, sitting at his desk, working feverishly, studying continuously, pounding the text into his fatigued brain. Distantly, he knows his lip is bleeding, but he's numb to the pain, numb to everything. Except Mokuba's cries. Why is he crying...?—
The images overpowered him, choked him, smothered him. Seto could feel himself dying underneath the dense torment that swirled thick around him like smoke. He could hear Mokuba crying, the sobs shrill and distant, but couldn't weed the smaller sibling out through the darkness. Pain stabbed swift and sharp through the CEO's mind, and he fell to his knees, struggling to stand upright.
"I want to help you, Seto."
The voice echoed unseen throughout the void, every inch of the strange area shrouded in a smoky grayness. It seemed to clash greatly with the oppressive, haunting environment that engulfed him, somehow kind and comforting. It seemed unreal, yet familiar...so familiar...he had heard it once before...
"Gardner?"
The piercing beeps of the alarm clock startled him into a wake.
&&&
For the second time that day, Tea found herself before her bedroom mirror. Only this time, her short hair had been twisted up as elegantly as possible, only a few wisps escaping the the ponytail she had just been able to pull it into. Her fingers smoothed the silken fabric of her dress unnecessarily, and she couldn't help but grin back at her reflection.
Outside her window, icy snowflakes had resumed falling, crusting the neighborhood with yet another layer of the thick, glistening whiteness. The wind carried the scent of peppermint and pine-needles–or, perhaps, it was just her imagination? There were times when the brunette had felt almost certain she were walking amidst a dream, one both extraordinary and wonderful, but a dream nonetheless.
Yet here she stood, shivering from the chill of the open window, very much aware that she was garbed in the extravagant gown Mai had so generously bought her, and was about to attend the prom that she had once dreaded going to–now quite excited for it.
Recalling Mai, the brunette frowned slightly. She wondered how the young woman would react once she discovered Tea's reasons behind not going to the dance with Yugi. She could still remember how Mai's lovely features had been contorted with such anger, such wrath, it had seemed almost impossible that she'd ever forgive Tea.
Then again, the brunette reminded herself, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips, if I could convince Joey to accept things, I can convince anyone.
The door creaked open, and Mrs. Gardner poked her head inside, pushing her glasses to a more steady position on the bridge of her nose. Her eyes widened appraisingly when she caught sight of her daughter, a grin sliding across her face.
"So, this is the dress your blonde friend bought you, huh?"
Tea nodded, blushing embarrassedly at her mother's smile, and smoothed the creaseless fabric needlessly once more.
"How do I look?"
"Stunning, of course!" the brunette's mother answered immediately, brushing a few strands of loose hair off her daughter's face. "So, are you going to the prom with him?"
"Who, Yugi?" Tea answered, batting her mother's hand away. A familiar squirm of shame squeezed her gut uncomfortably. Even though everything had worked out in the end, she couldn't help but feel guilty when she remembered Yugi's crestfallen gaze at her answer to his invite.
"No," Mrs. Gardner spoke. "The other one. You know," she shot promptly when Tea gave her a baffled look. "You didn't want to go with Yugi because of someone else."
For a moment, all stood silent. Tea had quite forgotten that her mother had been the first to suggest that it was because of someone else that she hadn't agreed to go with Yugi. Her thoughts flitted towards Kaiba and she momentarily choked. The thought of him–with his steely blue eyes and bitter attitude–attending a prom was almost comical. Then again, a lot of ridiculous things had proven possible in these last few days, and Tea couldn't help but smile at the remembrance of them all. Still, she deeply doubted the chance of Kaiba making an abrupt entrance at the dance, even if she did believe her words had somehow affected him.
So the brunette merely turned to her mother, a thoughtful smile on her lips, and answered, "You know, I really couldn't say."
&&&
The clock was ticking by loudly, thrumming somewhat annoyingly in his eardrums. Seto sighed and tapped his fingers impatiently over the keys. Of course, the bumbling idiots he claimed "employees" had succeeded in throwing the business into a state of utter chaos while he was gone.
And yet, oddly enough, he found himself incapable of concentrating on the work set before him. He focused his eyes on the blocky words that decorated the computer-screen, but found his mind kept floating elsewhere, back to his dream, back to Mokuba, back to, even, Christmas...
What was the point? Yes, originally, Christmas had harbored some meaning, but not anymore. Like everything else, it was now a advertisement, a commercial, just another chance to sell more products...make more money...But then his thoughts flashed back to Mokuba, so happy, so enlightened, his face painted by the colored lights of their newly-owned Christmas tree. And, perhaps...perhaps...that's what Christmas truly meant.
He stared around the bland, colorless room he was seated in, a very strange emotion clawing at his numbed heart, rising thick and rapidly into his throat, choking him. He suddenly felt as though these walls were closing in on him, like he wasn't supposed to be here, like something was missing. He sat still and erect within his chair, eyes blaring into the screen, becoming stiff and sullen–but the feeling only grew more pronounced, hazing his thoughts, screaming shrilly in his ears. It pounded loudly through his mind, like some sort of plaguing chant:
You shouldn't be here, you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't be here... But where was a CEO supposed to be if not at his company? And what could possibly be missing? All the necessary files had been uploaded onto the computer, the prototypes of his next duel disk were ready for testing, everything seemed to be in place...
He stood up abruptly, almost against his will, and began pacing the office, his brain throbbing painfully within his skull. Finally, he strode over to the door and pulled it open, making his way quickly down the corridor, avoiding eye-contact with any of the employees who were all beginning to close up for Christmas break.
He wasn't supposed to be here.
He was going to find out where he was supposed to be.
&&&
The prom was dim, crowded, and noisy. The music drummed audibly in the wide auditorium, which was dressed in holly and mistletoe, and seemed to hold a certain amount of comfort and Christmas cheer. Filled with friends and joy, to Tea, it seemed like paradise.
She let out a merry laugh when she caught sight of Joey–scowling as he mopped up some of the sticky, red liquid that was dribbling down what was probably his most expensive shirt. Mai had made an abrupt, rather dramatic entrance, resulting in the shocked boy spilling punch all down his front.
The blonde's presence had stabbed Tea with jolts of both worry and alarm. She didn't think the woman knew how she felt about Kaiba, but seeing how she had last left the blonde on a rather bitter note, she wasn't too keen on speaking with her right away. Attempting to melt into the crowd, she held her breath as Mai weeded her way through the thick throng of people towards her.
But when they were finally face to face, Mai's features did not contort into an angry rage, nor did she ball her fists and shout at Tea. On the contrary, she swung her arm around the brunette's shoulders and let out a hearty laugh.
"You know, hon, you could have just told me...you acted like it was the end of the world or something! What a drama queen you are!"
Between the booming music and the jostling mob, it took Tea's brain a few moments to comprehend what Mai had just said to her. When it did, she found herself gaping openly, staring at the blonde with wide, shocked orbs.
"You think I'm a drama queen?" she blurted out almost instinctively. "After everything you did–wait! You–you know?" Tea had to strain her voice even louder of the room's increasing volume. "And you're not mad?"
"Mad?" Mai chuckled, as though the very thought of feeling angry at such a humorous situation was simply unreasonable. "Tea–I think it's hilarious! You'll make weirdest couple of the year!"
"But–" spluttered the brunette. "But–but–Yugi–"
"Just met a sweet little girl," Mai finished for her, winking. "Which means your off the hook."
Emerging from the constantly mobile, chattering crowd, Tea caught hold of two small figures making their way towards them. One, whose spiky hair easily betrayed him as Yugi, and another unrecognizable person, whom could be seen clutching his hand.
"Tea!" Yugi shouted over the taller heads of the dense mob. "Have you met Jing? She's the new foreign-exchange student from China!"
A petite girl stepped into view, waving shyly, bouncy black curls framing a rosy face. Grinning, the brunette's eyes locked on Yugi's violet ones, and for the first time in what seemed like ages, they shone. The shattered, dimming light that had for so long housed the boy's eyes had been thrown away, replaced by the brightest, most gloriously jubilance illumination Tea had ever seen.
It was as though a heavy, blackened anchor had suddenly been lifted from her aching back. Happiness seemed to overrun Tea's entire body, ringing in her every fiber, swelling her heart wide enough to burst–it was almost overpowering. The brunette found she could do nothing more but stand there, grinning at her best friend's joy, completely guiltless, tears glimmering on her eyelashes like gems. And yet, suddenly, abruptly, the tiniest inkling of sadness crept stealthily into her inflated heart. Smile fading slightly, the brunette discovered the cause immediately.
Something was missing.
She thrashed her head from side to side, but everything seemed in order, everything seemed in place. She was surrounded by friends and happiness. Everywhere she turned was painted with red and green lights, trimmed with holly. This was the way things were suppose to be–this was her Christmas dream. What could possibly be missing?
"Hey, hey, Tea!"
The brunette turned towards the familiar voice, unsurprised to see Joey moving his way roughly through the crowd, blotches of punch still visible on his shirt, though considerably lightened from red to pink. Tea couldn't help noticing that there was something slightly strained about his smile.
"Someone's waitin' for ya."
Shooting him a confused look, she followed his gaze until her eyes fell onto whom he was speaking of.
Shock paralyzed her entire body. The waves of utter surprise seemed to numb her completely of the world around her, shrouding all in a thick, colorful fog.
A quick jab in the small of her back returned her to reality. Mai was shoving her towards the doorway where he stood. The surreal haze that blurred her vision made her feel as if she were floating rather than walking.
Seto Kaiba's brown hair was tousled and wet with snow. Bangs hung before his blue eyes, eyes that, though confused and irritated, appeared somehow different, changed. With a sharp jolt of realization, it suddenly became evident to Tea what was so different–
Some of the ice had melted.
She opened her mouth to speak, even though her mind was blank and useless, thoughts muffled with shock. Kaiba held up his hand, cutting her off immediately.
"Listen," he said furiously. "You've said enough to me these last few days. Now it's my turn. I don't understand you at all. Hell, I don't even understand why I'm here. Why did everything I write in that book mean so much to you? Why did you insist on 'helping' me? I'm not one of your silly friends–I'm your best friend's opponent. Why are you making me doubt what I've believed all my life? Why did I run out and buy my brother a Christmas tree yesterday? Why is it that every time I see something the color blue, I immediately think about you? Why is it, that every time I'm around you, I feel like Seto Hashishima isn't really dead?"
He stopped speaking, and almost instinctively, the two looked up to the green piece of mistletoe dangling over there heads.
And he kissed her.
Gazing incredulously at him, blind to the wide-eyed stares they were receiving from half the prom, Tea wasn't the only one to realize what had been missing.
&&&
–Christmas Day–
"Big brother, wake up, wake up, it's Christmas!"
Something kept poking annoyingly at the CEO's face, each jab driving him further away from sleep and into awareness.
"Come on, Seto, I know you're awake. Get up!"
Sighing, he gave up on ignoring his brother and sat upright, blinking sleep out of his eyes while Mokuba glared at him impatiently. From the excited glimmer in his eye, Seto knew the boy had probably already snuck downstairs to see all the glistening packages settled underneath the tree and was itching to open them.
"Come on," Mokuba argued, grabbing his wrist and tugging him into the hallway and down the stairs. "Someone left you a package outside on the doormat. There's a note attached to it, but whoever it was left too early for me to see them."
Once they reached the living room, Mokuba dove into his parcels, most of which were from Seto, a few from friends he made at school. Unable to resist smiling at him, the CEO padded over to the doorway and pulled it open, eyes falling upon the thin package at his feet. He bent down to pick it up when he heard soft voices emitting from a group huddled on the sidewalk.
A pack of tiny, ragged children were treading through the snowy ground, each clutching a tin can. Children from the orphanage, Seto thought, the ones that go caroling and never come by here...
"Lets go, Kado, we won't be getting anything by this house," a little girl was saying, pulling hard on a boy's hand. He had abnormally bright red hair, hair that seemed to glow even more noticeably in the early morning-light.
"But we've never tried!" he answered stubbornly. "Maybe, if we do, we'll get something. Everyone else is just too afraid to go up."
"For a reason," the girl persisted. "The person who lives here has a cold heart, everyone knows that..."
Without thinking, Seto found himself back in his living room, pulling open drawers until he found some money. Slipping into the first pair of shoes he came across, he walked back out the door, followed by a curious Mokuba, and dropped the money into the little boy's can.
Grinning wide enough to show a gap where two front teeth should have been, Kado looked the girl straight in the eye and whispered, "I told you so."
Her freckled face flushing, the girl avoided both Kaibas' eyes and continued to tug on Kado's sleeve. The group slowly began to shuffle away, but not before the redhead-boy had whipped around and yelled "Thank you!" over the quiet chattering of the children.
Looking over to his right, he found Mokuba smirking at him, his hair a messy tangle of ebony strands.
"What?" Seto asked shortly, almost irritably, as his brother turned around to make his way back to the house.
"Nothing," Mokuba answered, though the smirk was still quite evident on his face, and his voice held the air of someone quite amused. "Maybe they'll come by next year now..."
Reaching the porch, Seto finally picked up the package placed on the doormat, staring at the plain gold wrappings, the tiny, folded note taped to the cover. Somehow, he thought he knew who it was from...
He tore off the paper, revealing a small, black book, the words "my journal" printed in gold ink. A replica of his last diary. Peeling the note off the wrapping-paper, he opened it to find only two sentences written in a tidy, scripted hand.
"I promise, this time, I won't read it. Merry Christmas."
Gazing at the short sentence for a full minute, his suspicions confirmed, Seto suddenly let out a laugh.
"Merry Christmas to you, too," he paused, then added,"Tea."
As he headed back inside, gripping the book firmly, he was bombarded by boxes from his little brother, all presents Mokuba insisted he open right away.
He knew that nothing was missing.
Perhaps fairytales weren't as far off as people might think.
The End
Note: I want to thank everyone whose ever taken the time to read this fanfic! You are the people that kept me going, kept me writing, even through the times when I found it difficult to continue. Because of you, I've been able to finish my first chapter story posted. I shall always be thankful for your reviews!
"What I Thought Was You" is dedicated to Caorann fridh Bronach, who helped me through this story, always correcting grammar, and was there when I needed to ask her if someone was out of character. She took the time to read and correct every chapter I sent her, and her kind words always got me to continue, even when it was hard. To you, Caorann, I bow my head, and value our friendship greatly!