Top 25 Ways to Annoy People
Ever wanted to annoy someone? Make them drive molten sporks into their eyelids? Well, this is Sirius Black, your expert on annoying people worldwide, as the Gryffindor House can tell you! Ways to annoy people can vary greatly, but here are some of my personal favorites.
25. When people talk to you, keep saying 'yar'. No matter what they say. Yar.
24. Spend an entire evening imitating animals in the common room.
23. Talk about things no one understands--keep using terms like: "WoT," "Aes Sedai," "Canon," "Sauron," and such around friends who have no idea what you're talking about.
22. Sing Muggle songs no one else knows.
21. End all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
20. Yell: "AFROFRIZZNISTICK!" and "aouearhaoiruwpahaierwuoahito!" randomly
19. Act superior and all-knowing.
18. Have a one-track mind.
17. Run around acting like a drill sergant, yelling: "RUN, CADET!" at random people. Give me 20!
16. Whenever people try to talk to you, keep interrupting them saying: "Really? Now, what did you say? What exactly do you mean by that?"
15. Touch your eyeball.
14 Walk up to random people and ask them for sugar. Twitch after you say it.
13. Go ask random people if they know Jack. If they say no, laugh hysterically.
12. Ask people: "Sup?" Whatever their answer, laugh hysterically.
11. Go around the common room with a fake questionnaire, asking everyone personal questions.
10. Randomly jump on people, accusing them of things they didn't do.
9. Yell: "HEY UGLY!" in the common room just to interrupt the people trying to study.
8. Run around in circles singing: "Ring around the rosy..." all night long just to annoy people trying to be boring.
7. Whenever someone suggests you study, shout: "YOU'RE BEING BORING!" so the entire common room can hear.
6. Alwaysay Alktay inyay Igpay Atinlay.
5. Run around and yell: "NI!" to random people.
4. Ask everyone if they have shrubbery.
3. Ask Lily Evans (in an extremely loud voice) if she found those tampons yet. (also a good way to get detention).
2. Act annoyingly superior; be mysterious about a subject. Anytime someone asks you what you're talking about, just say: "Don't you KNOW?" and refuse to talk.
1. Tell everyone you pass that they have lovely underwear.
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
I've asked Dumbledore to let me sing Bohemian Rhapsody at breakfast, but he won't let me. Any suggestions as to what I do?
-Not a Clue (Padfoot)
(from Golden*Faerey in Sirius Denial)
Dear Padfoot,
You'll stand up on the table and sing it anyway--you always do.
Moony
Dear Moony,
Can you please tell Lily's friend to stop telling me I'm going to die! She just keeps on passing me notes in Charms saying "You're gonna die Potter. So is Lily, so is Sirius. Remus will be a teacher. Peter will be the downfall of all of you - Elizabeth" Sure, she's saying nice things about Lily and I getting
together! But the whole death thing is really freaking me out! Can you, do something about it?
-Prongs
(from Golden*Faerey in Sirius Denial)
Dear Prongs,
I've tried. Lily's tried. She keeps saying I'm a teacher.
Moony
Dear Moony,
A few weeks ago, I saw Sirius walking out of Hog's Head in women's clothing. Then, yesterday I saw him walking around the boys dorm in high heels, suspenders, and a bra singing the lumberjack song when he thought everyone was at classes. Is he okay?
-Wormtail
(from little-lost-one)
Dear Wormtail,
No, Sirius is never okay. I think he's been watching too much Monty Python, or else talking to that one addicted girl....
Moony
Dear Moony,
*looks under bed* THERE'S MY NEW STASH OFF UNDERWEAR! Excellent! *ripes package open and starts smelling his new underwear*
Padfoot
(from Lemon)
Dear Padfoot,
.....no comment.
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Wondered what's going on in Gryffindor? Ever wanted to know what's happening? Well, now you can find out from the Queen of Gossip herself...
Lion's Roar
Have you ever felt like being mysterious?
Well, that's our latest vibe, gray! It all began yesterday and the Great Hall. Sirius was once again ridiculing Mr. Remus Lupin, boyfriend of Aladdin Niadra, over his graying hair. The boy didn't know Remus had revenge planned, and proved it by flinging mashed potatoes at Sirius! Soon a distgusting food fight was off until the Professors got everyone's sense back. It ruined seveal of my nice robes too...
However, gray was inspired by Remus's hair, and is now our latest trend! Try to go for a gray trim on your robes, entirely gray makes it look old and shabby, not trendy at all. Hats are the same way, we find gray ribbon works particularly well.
As for make-up, try a smoky eye with gray eyeshadow, but keep your lips calm so it's not overkill. Silver earings go wonderfully, they're like shining gray gems!
This has been Alice Remerta with Lion's Roar, the Gryffindor gossip column. Have any juicy tidbits of gossip? Share it with me--slip it under dorm room 10 and it could appear in Lion's Roar!
Lioness Poetry
The Lioness has picked a poem this week from the fifteen sent to her room and would like to say thank you to all the participants! The winning poem(s) follow.
The sky is full of power
The day breaks through the source
night falls upon your cheekbone
Your face shades no remorse
The curl upon your fingers
The sweat drops down your back
The smile on your lips
The dimmed room turning black
My feelings flaring up
your face turned around
The shattering of my heart
Leaves only a silent sound
-A sixth year
Weather Warnings
Trouble is in the air as showers are headed our way. I got a tip off just this morning that when you go to breakfast this morning, one prankster may have enchanted the ceiling to actually rain on your food. Take your umbrellas, folks, because it's going to be wet wet wet! There will be an excellent shower of shooting stars tonight visible from the common room windows about midnight, and the sky will be clear and beautiful, and with a full moon two weeks away, the stars will shine brightly tonight.
Jim, Weather Wizard
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 455
Hufflepuff: 470
Slytherin: 433
Ravenclaw: 429
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 115, 11th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Notebook: I should change this to credits. Okay, kantomon now has a job for life writing the Lion's Roar (kantomon, please leave an email??). I'm not a girly girl and I have problems writing a fashion column--can you tell? :P Poem from ChickoftheDarkMoon, you all rock. I'm so sorry this chapter took so long (egh) but school started and the death of Ask Moony finally let me finish this. Don't worry, not permanent death. I'm also coordinating a group for reviews at http:// e (on my bio) and my muses, which now can be rented for a quarter a day. No guarantees, of course.