Word on the Street (read like a TV broadcast: Sirius has enchanted the picture to display the following scene.)
"This is Sirius Black," Sirius yells over the noise of giggling and deftly ducks James swatting at his head, "here for the Gryffindor Oracle. Today, we are here to find out what the average Gryffindor student's opinions are." He runs over to a random girl, who had blonde hair.
"Here we are with," he pauses, and stares at the girl expectantly.
"Nagem Rahon," she supplies helpfully.
"who will answer a few questions for the Oracle. Now Nagem, tell me, exactly how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop?"
"Forty-two!" she says triumphantly.
"Wrong!" Sirius says happily. "Next question, what do you think of Slytherins?"
"They're not all that bad," Nagem says, opening her eyes wide. "I think that they've got a reputation to live up ta, ya know? And that they kind of have to or else they won't be evil enough and--"
"WRONG!" Sirius shouts angrily. "They're slimy evil gits! Next question! Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"So she could talk to James," Nagem sighed dreamily. Sirius backs slowly away from the girl and then yelps as a random fangirl pushes him to the floor, where minor scuffling out of the line of vision ensues. "And here we are with Sitara Anderson, who will answer even more questions for the Oracle! Sitara, exactly how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop?"
"Three thousand and thirty three," Sitara says, laughing.
"WRONG! But close. Next question, what do you think of Slytherins?"
"They're evil!" Sitara answered triumphantly.
"WRONG! But close. They're slimy evil gits. That's the important part. Next question, why did the chicken cross the road?" Sirius demands happily, looking at her expectantly.
"For a good snog, of course," Sitara answers breathlessly and scoots in closer to Sirius, who is grabbed from behind by James Potter, who stares down at him menacingly and pushes Sitara away.
"PADFOOT!" James bellows. "What did you do to my Lily??"
"And this is James Potter, star Chaser of the Gryffindor Quidditch team to answer a few more questions for the Oracle!" Sirius say gilbly. "So James, how many licks does it take to get to the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop?"
"What did you do to her?" James demands. "My precious Lily!"
"Um...riiiiight," Sirius says nervously, then hurriedly says: "Um...I think this wraps up our broadcast..." he clears his throat and continues to talk very fast and ducking out of the picture frame: "Check-in-with-the-Oracle-next-time-for-more-exciting-storIES!" he yelped as James tackled him from behind.
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
I've told you once, I'll tell you again... I NEED SOME BLOODY UNDERWEAR
-You Know Who
(from Lemon)
Dear You Know Who,
Voldemort needs underwear?
Moony
Dear Moony,
*looks under bed* THERE'S MY NEW STASH OFF UNDERWEAR! Excellent! *ripes package open and starts smelling his new underwear*
Padfoot
(from Lemon)
Dear Padfoot,
.....no comment.
Moony
Dear Moony,
Is there a potion that can dissolve kryptonite instantly? If so, could you please send me some?
~Clark Kent
(from Blarg)
Dear Clark Kent,
No.
Moony
Moony looked up from his letters, staring around the common room for Sirius. "SIRIUS!"
Sirius grinned and ran over from where he was terrorizing the fifth year girl's dorm. "What, Moony? Why'd you scream?"
"I got a letter from...Cestari," Moony said, checking the envelope. He held out the enevelope in disgust. "She sent you underwear and socks...it's the day to day underwear and green socks."
Sirius's eyes lit up and he hugged the underwear and socks, running around the common room. "I HAVE UNDERWEAR!" he shouted randomly. Moony shook his head and went back to answering his letters.
Dear Moony,
What is the square root of 12345654321?
~Your Former Math Teacher
(from Blarg)
Dear Former Math Teacher,
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, (or purplenicole@msn.com) and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Wondered what's going on in Gryffindor? Ever wanted to know what's happening? Well, now you can find out from the Queen of Gossip herself...
Lion's Roar
What mischeif have our favorite Gryffindor guys been into this week?
Suave Sirius Black is currently open, after breaking up with Ronda Laybought for the second time since our last paper! Now the cute, michievious rougue could be YOUR boyfriend. We asked Sirius Black what he thought of this:
"I'm going for a Gryffindor chick this time, Hufflepuffs are a waste of time, and weaklings compared to OUR house."
I couldn't agree more.
Meanwhile Arthur and Molly Weasly just had their second adorable little son, Charlie! He's a cute little redhead who'll hopefully be with us in Gryffindor when he's older. They may not be Gryffindors anymore, but graduates are just as important!
The usual stalking from James has driven Lily to near insanity. 'Potter the Rotter', as she affectionatly calls him, recently bought her a huge box of pinapple sugar quills! As if this overkill (they haven't even hooked up yet!) isn't enough, he sneezes loudly and breaks into 'hives', so Ms. Evans had to carry him to the Hospital Wing. Rumor has it these hives may not have been real, but jsut an attempt to be in Lily's arms. Aww, how desperatly sweet.
This has been Alice Remerta with Lion's Roar, the Gryffindor gossip column. Have any juicy tidbits of gossip? Share it with me--slip it under dorm room 10 and it could appear in Lion's Roar!
Lioness Poetry
The Lioness has picked a poem this week from the fifteen sent to her room and would like to say thank you to all the participants! The winning poem follows.
And my dreams are all sand and water in me
hotter in me
make me burn for you
make me feel I want to
cause there's ice in my heart
under a snow-white sky
your eyes are the sky
never sky so blue
but
all my skies are filled with pain
always filled with rain
you are all my hopes and fears
battered by my angry tears
do you even notice? Do you care?
cracks run through me
turning inside out
and
you've got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen
do you know it? do you know it?
and I wish you'd smile at me again
even just a friend
more than a friend
and what are you anyway? How do you feel?
Do you dream of me and wonder for me?
will you smile at me?
please smile for me
and calm my fears
again.
(by me)
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 422
Hufflepuff: 464
Slytherin: 419
Ravenclaw: 410
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 115, 11th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Notebook: Lion's Roar by Lauren/kantomon (lsg89@comcast.net), who is awesome. REALLY REALLY sorry to EVERYONE for the long wait, and the next one should be up shortly, since I'm in a writing mood again. Love you all, Abby