The Eternal Triangle
Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and with the arrival of spring, we are forced to endure the renewed love lives of all our fellow Gryffindor students, with loves that range from pitiful (James and Lily) to sweet (James and Lily) to naeusating (James and Lily). This is Sirius Black, here with an interesting sad love story about the eternal triangle--the two lovers and the admirer from afar.
In the beginning, James and Lily were friends. Then came that fateful day when James woke up and announced to his dorm room that Lily Evans had the most beautiful eyes on the face of the earth. Their love was like a slowly blossoming flower--except that it only blossomed in one quarter. James soon overcrowded Lily and Lily rebelled, rejecting the affections of her obsessed stalker.
Because, in fact, Lily had a crush on Ray Johansan. Ray Johansan, as we all know, is a Ravenclaw that has now graduated, noted for his popularity on the Quidditch Team and good sense of humor--and his numerous girlfriends. Lily soon attracted his attentions, and I have reliable evidence from sources that wish to be protected that Lily was caught snogging Ray several times--the last time by James Potter himself.
It was a tragic scene--James was angry and hurt, which only resulted in a confrontation between Ray and James, which culminated with James spending a week in the Hospital Wing. But in the end, Lily turned her sympathies towards James, and visited him in the Hospital Wing until he regained consciousness. It is believed that they actually had one civil exchange before James said something containing the words: "under her shirt", then was slapped senseless for another day in the Hospital Wing, whereupon Lily began seeing Ray off and on again. There are theories that James started Quidditch in a pathetic attempt to impress Lily.
This pathetic triangle continued until Ray became a sixth year, and suddenly became besotted with another girl--Miranda Goshawk, the beautiful Hufflepuff Head Girl, (reow!) became Ray's new target. Lily Evans was heartbroken, and for a while Alice Remerta was predicting James/Lily all over the Gryffindor Tower, but it was not to be. James offered Lily a shoulder to cry on, but once again ruined his chances by offering an ill-timed snog session, resulting in another slap and the end of the James/Lily/Ray triangle.
Will James Potter ever get Lily? Will Ray marry Miranda? When will I learn to leave things like this to Alice Remerta? This has been Sirius Black with the Gryffindor Oracle--tune in next week for another bad episode of As the Lion Roars.
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Padfoot,
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT WAS THE CRAP YOU WROTE IN THE ARTICLE??? 'OBSESSED STALKER'??? 'PATHETIC ATTEMPT TO IMPRESS LILY'????
James
Dear James,
It's all true! All of it! Even the sad naeusating part!
Sirius
Dear Moony,
Can I take over your paper?
Sirius
Dear Sirius,
YOU ALREADY HAVE! Never again!
Moony
Dear Moony,
(whiny)Why not?
Sirius
Dear Sirius,
Because you suck at giving advice!
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, (or purplenicole@msn.com) and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Wondered what's going on in Gryffindor? Ever wanted to know what's happening? Well, now you can find out from the Queen of Gossip herself...
Lion's Skin
Our latest vibe this week is nail makeup. Fingernail painting has appeared all over the school in a wave, with new and exotic fingernail polish being the rave. Hogsmeade has a beautiful new color-changing nail polish that is all the rave, and metallic colors are definately in. Long nails, whether real or fake, are looking glam as long as they don't look too long, like claws. Patterns or different colors on nails are in--try varying black and white or silver and red, or using a silver color with darker stripes in the foreground.
Another common trend is to match your fingernails with your makeup--if you have silver glitter nail polish, match it with silver jewelry and silver eyeshadow that extends a little beyond your eyes to give you a sparkle and a shine. The hair fashion is to wear your hair down, in soft waves, framing your face, and the new lipstick is pink with only a hint of a sparkle, not gaudy ugly red.
Try to prep up your school uniform with a beautiful red-and-gold Gryffindor scarf to show your House spirit! These scarves look great and can be worn around your waist or your neck and go with almost anything. A lot of people have taken to painting their nails varying red and gold, or red and gold stripes, and some of the more artistic have drawn lions on their nails!
This has been Alice Remerta with Lion's Skin, the Gryffindor fashion column. Have any juicy tidbits of gossip? Share it with me--slip it under dorm room 10 and it could appear in Lion's Roar!
Lioness Poetry
The Lioness has picked a poem this week from the fifteen sent to her room and would like to say thank you to all the participants! The winning poem(s) follow.
I wish he loved me
I see his face
But e'er he'll haunt me;
I cannot say.
~Fireblade
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 400
Hufflepuff: 430
Slytherin: 413
Ravenclaw: 388
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 267, 13th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Notebook: the eternal triangle was inspired by my friend and the two guys that like her...poor Mollee. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and Fireblade (again) for the poem. This was fast, I know. I wrote it in like ten minutes! Wow, that was so, like, valley girl! Ohmygosh!