Potentially Evil Artifact Found in Gryffindor Tower
This is Sirius Black, reporting tonight with this excitingly dangerous story. A mysterious object was found in the girls' dormitorys last night, and it has the whole house, indeed the whole school, in an uproar. The object was found in the fifth year girl's dorm room, under the bed of Lily Evans.
"I nearly fainted," Kamalla Brothership gushed to your flustered reporter. "I looked under my bed and there it was! I picked it up and then, out of nowhere, blue lettering came up. 'YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER' it said. I was so cared I ran right out of the room screaming!"
"We don't know yet what it is, but we will find out, and until then it is kept under lock and key," Head Girl Ariana Karimas told your reporter sternly. "We are spending research and the Professors have been alerted."
The object in question resembles a Bludger, only in smaller proportions and with one flat side where a curiously black liquid presses through a glass sheet. It appears to be made of some kind of synthetic material, and blue letters float to the top of the black liquid randomly, displaying messages from 'YES' and 'NO' to 'YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER' and 'BEWARE THOSE WHO APPEAR TO BE FRIENDS'.
This object is currently being possessed by Professor McGonagall, who has taken it to examine it further. "Anouncements will be made when we discover what this object is."
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
Okay, I like have this like problem with like saying 'like' every other word. My friends all like, make fun of me, and they like call me this like Valley Girl! Like, how can I prove to them that I"m not like, a valley girl?
-Like, not a Valley Girl
Dear Like, not a Valley Girl,
HA! Get a life.
Moony
Dear Moony,
Why do you always give such rotten advice?
-Wondering
Dear Wondering,
I don't. I don't really give advice at all. I'm paid to write a sort of humor-column in here every week that makes fun of all the poor tortured souls that pour their hearts out to an anynomous columnist.
Moony
Dear Moony,
Where exactly are those pictures??
-Purple Evil Eerie King In Notable Green, who's seen Too Much
Dear P.E.E.K.I.N.G. T.O.M (or something like it),
There are no pictures!! I swear! I can explain! It was all Sirius's fault!
Moony
Dear Moony,
My friend is the Valley girl, and ohmygosh, she's like rubbing off on me! What do I do?
-Worried about her Cheerleader friend
Dear Worried,
Get a life, both of you! You've been watching like, way too much American TV!
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, (or purplenicole@msn.com) and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Ever been plauged by what to wear to Hogsmeade? Ever wondered what colors are in? Well, now you can get fashion advice from the queen of fasion herself....
Lion's Skin
Colors seem subdued this week as rain pours down from the sky--gray, blacks and whites are in. White is stunning, and makes you show up in a crowd, but wearing all gray makes you appear shabby, so try to avoid it. Black (the school uniform color) is being worn more frequently on the off time. If you want to spruce up this color, add a splash of neon colors, like a neon green clip or hot pink scarf.
The greatest color combination right now is black with neon pink hilights, which can look cheap or classy, depending on how you do this style. If you're going for this style, wear your hair up in a high ponytail and curl it to give it a little bounce. Don't go in for too much glitter makeup unless you're going for the Disco Queen look--try to keep it natural and beautiful. Color-enhancing charms are all the rage, making these vibrant accents seem to glow on those neutral backgrounds. If you need help with Color-Enhancing Chamrs, you can stop by the Fifth Year girl's dorm and the Charms prodigy, Lily Evans, will be only too happy to help you.
And Lily's green eyes have inspired what might have been one of the luckies mistakes in the fashion history of the school--the use of Color-enhancing charms on your eyes, making the colors vibrant and warm. If you're going to do this, wear colored accessories that bring out the color in your eyes. If you have brown or black eyes, try to use pale makeup and lots of mascara around your eyes and lashes to make your eyes appear larger and more liquid. Simplicity is in, with plain Jane going all out with all her innocent schoolgirl charm.
This has been Alice Remerta with Lion's Skin, the Gryffindor fashion column. Need fasion advice? Need to know what to wear? Just ask Alice Remerta, dorm room 10, girl's side.
Lioness Poetry
The Lioness has picked a poem this week from the twelve and a half sent to her room and would like to say thank you to all the participants! The winning poem follows.
and it feels like it's been monday forever
still under the weather
waitin on you, still haven't called but
it's still monday
god still monday
I hate mondays...
it's still monday
and I miss you
So much.
(me)
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 444
Hufflepuff: 430
Slytherin: 413
Ravenclaw: 433
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 244, 15th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Notebook: Love ya all! It's so much fun to write a fashion column--I like it better than gossip. I never realized how much my school can give me ideas...sigh. Cookies to anybody that can guess what the 'potentially dangerous evil artifact is'! Enjoy; review!