Class Census
This is Sirius Black, your Oracle reporter, here for the class cenus results. Thanks to everyone who participated!
Cutest Girl: Lily Evans
Handomsest Boy: Sirius Black
Nosy-est: Alice Remerta
Loudest Mouth:
Class Clown: Sirius Black
Most Annoying: Sirius Black
Biggest Bum: Peter Pettigrew
Most Likely to Fail: Peter Pettigrew
Biggest Flirt (girl): Fiona Landon
Biggest Flirt (boy): Sirius Black
Cutest Couple: Lily Evans and James Potter
Valedictorian: James Potter
Next Head Boy: Remus Lupin
Next Head Girl: Lily Evans
Should be in Slytherin: Fiona Landon
Should be in Ravenclaw: Lily Evans
Should be in Hufflepuff: Alice Remerta
Teacher's Pet: Lily Evans
Most Athletic: James Potter
Most Likely to get in trouble: The Marauders
Miss Gryffindor: The Lioness (note that no award could be given as she is anonymous)
Mr. Gryffindor: James Potter
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
My friend scares me. She lights candles--sometimes seventy or eighty at a time! I'm afraid the dorm is getting set on fire! She wasn't even a pyromaniac until my other friend (who was a pyromaniac) quit being a pyromaniac, then passed on the mania to her! What should I do?
-Scared of Fire
Dear Scared of Fire,
Walk softly and carry a big bucket of water. Or learn the Flame-Freezing Charm.
Moony
Dear Moony,
My roommate is obsessed with Wendelin the Weird. He says he wants to be just like him and went out listening to Fwooper song for a week, despite our attempts to stop him. Now he walks around wearing nothing but a badger on his head. I'm a little worried. Can you help me?
-Worried about the Wendelin-Wannabe
Dear WWW,
You should be worried. I think you need a switch of roommates and he needs some serious counseling. Just don't go to Sirius.
Moony
Dear Moony,
I want to start an article where I get to help people with their psychological problems. Can I?
-Padfoot
Dear Padfoot,
It's your column. You can start an article about porcupines and I doubt Alice would care.
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, (or purplenicole@msn.com) and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Wondered what's going on in Gryffindor? Ever wanted to know what's happening? Well, now you can find out from the Queen of Gossip herself...
Lion's Roar
Things have been heatitng up this week as Sirius Black has taken to the 'psychologist' role, trying to help everyone with their problems. He interviews fangirls, making them lie on a couch while he scribbbles scarily drawn stick figures on his pad, then gives them a disorder no one can pronounce and sends them off with treatment suggestions, most of which include taking baths in chocolate, dying your hair, and/or subjecting yourself to large numbers of butterflies.
Sirius's foolishness has caused some to laugh, others to roll their eyes, and some--well, one--takes it seriously. Sirius has diagnosed James Potter as 'lovesick', and for the first time, James is taking it seriously (no pun intended). He has followed Sirius's treatment, which includes pranking Lily nonstop, meditating in bathtubs full of pillows, and surrounding himself by Hufflepuff blondes. The hufflepuff blondes have loved this development.
Needless to say, this constant pranking on Lily has her nerves on the end, and she collapsed in Transfiguration after finding all her quills transfigured into snakes, one of which tried to bite her before McGonagall could stop it. James had to rush her to the Hospital Wing, and what happened there was anyone's guess, but Lily and James walked out holding hands, and the Hufflepuff blondes immediately started wailing.
How long will this newfound James/Lily relationship last? When will Sirius learn to stop playing the psychologist? Why am I asking you all these questions?
This has been Alice Remerta with Lion's Roar, the Gryffindor gossip column. Have any juicy tidbits of gossip? Share it with me--slip it under dorm room 10 and it could appear in Lion's Roar!
Lioness Poetry
The Lioness has picked a poem this week from the four sent to her room and would like to say thank you to all the participants! The winning poem follows.
and I'm sorry for the tears I cried
sorry for the times you lied
sorry for the love for you
I hold bottled deep inside
and I'm sorry for the tragic ending
when our love was just beginning
apologies that I could make
if I could only stop pretending...
-a seventh year
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 455
Hufflepuff: 455
Slytherin: 455
Ravenclaw: 455
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 288, 17th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Notebook:Thanks to everybody who voted! Sorry everybody didn't get to but I wanted this chapter up quick. There's a change :p I went from zero chapters in two months to two or three chapters a day! Weird. The poem is a song from Leshay Collier, a friend of mine. Enjoy, everybody!
The Oracle Challenge
Find out who the Lioness is! Use the following clues:
She is a Gryffindor.
She is a girl.
She is not a fifth year or in the MWPP+L year.
She is a canonn character.
She has been mentioned before.
The Prize: A cameo appearance in an edition of the Oracle as a Sirius-Fling-of-the-Week (in the Lion's Roar), a Random Gryffindor (or other House member in the main article), a chance at answering the Ask Moony section as a fill-in while Moony's sick (as Alice Remerta's best friend), or anything else you want. Good luck! ;)