Marauding Merchandise
Have you ever wanted to play a prank but not had the materials? Ever wanted to get back at someone for that cruel remark they said? Ever just wanted to be funny?
Well, the Marauders are here to help. We've just opened a line of merchandise, which includes everything from Ear-Shrinking Earmuffs (for only a galleon) to magically multiplying green Jello (seven sickles), to Secret-Concealing Notebooks (if someone but you tries to read it, all they see are various textbook excerpts--a bargain at only five galleons for a hundred and fifty pages!), to Portable Self-Inflatable Bathtubs (special introductory price of ten galleons!) for those feeling a little bit silly.
Do you want to buy these hot new items? Want to find out what all of them are, see a complete inventory? Just stop by room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, or see James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, or Peter Pettigrew any time!
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
If you're flying down the highway, and your wings fall off your boat how many pancakes can you stack on top of a green doghouse?
-Padfoot
(from Silver Sparklez)
Dear Padfoot,
Have you taken your medication today?
If you're flying down the highway you're liable to be seen by Muggles, get in trouble with the Ministry and not care about your wings falling off your boat except for that one moment when your life is in danger, or what you can do with your doghouse. I think that it depends if you put the pancakes in rows, stack them on top of each other, or glue them together. Usually about 569, somtimes about 568.
Moony
Dear Moony,
There's this boy who sits next to me in Herbology, with the biggest ears in the world! Seriously they're ten feet long! Well anyway, they always wack me when he moves his head and it prevents me from doing my work! What do I do?
-Tired of Big Ears
(from Maleo)
Dear Tired of Big Ears,
I would suggest an Un-Engorgement Charm on them. Of course, for only a galleon, you can buy the special Ear-Shrinking Earmuffs from the Marauders!
Moony
Dear Moony,
I have this problem. See, every night I turn into a...a chicken! Then in the morning I'm a girl again. But I don't know what to do! Can you help me?
-Chicken-ed Out
Dear Chicken-ed Out,
Talk to McGonagall...it sounds like a serious Transfiguration mistake that could be easily rectified.
Moony
Dear Moony,
Why do you use big words?
-Clueless
Dear Clueless,
To raise the awarness level of the complexity that comes naturally with creating believable, enriched dialogue and variating my sentences to make my vocabulary prolific. ^_^
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, (or purplenicole@msn.com) and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Wondered what's going on in Gryffindor? Ever wanted to know what's happening? Well, now you can find out from the Queen of Gossip herself...
Lion's Roar
Well. This week, relationships have been soaring as Valentine's Day grows nearer and nearer. Sirius has found yet another girlfriend in Alex Luthandra, who is short, pretty, half-redheaded, etc. But she's a seventh year! I mean, has he no tact! No sense of social justice! But for all that they make a cute couple--and Sirius has been sweeter than with most girls, sending Alex a Goldnote complete with twelve red roses and a poem that was (to quote Marie:) "corny but sweet, just like Sirius". Awww!
But something is out of order in the cosmic James-Lily balance! James has, so far, IGNORED LILY every single night, barely glancing at her once! What has happened? Has Sirius tried to counsel him? Why are the Marauders staying in their dorm and not bugging the common room? We can only expect an even worse annoyance as they withdraw and regroup, bracing ourselves in the meantime. But there are always the lovesick ones---Karri Almea thinks Sirius is taking this time to consider a new girlfriend, nevermind his fling with Alex. "And I'm going to be prepared," she told your gossip columnist grimly. "I'm creating a Twelve-Step How-To-Get-Sirius Plan that involves studying his old girlfriends, and I plan to introduce it as a series of seminars for our House alone!" Riiight. As if we don't have ENOUGH to do with O.W.L.s and all.
This has been Alice Remerta with Lion's Roar, the Gryffindor gossip column. Have any juicy tidbits of gossip? Share it with me--slip it under dorm room 10 and it could appear in Lion's Roar!
Lioness Thoughts
The Lioness has picked a poem this week from the thirteen sent to her room and would like to say thank you to all the participants! The winning poem follows.
Living is dancing, and you are the dancer
Within you in the answer if only you'll dare
Tame lightning's lances far over your mountain
Drink at wisdom's fountain, though rider in air
-Wind-Writer
Thoughts:
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance.
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 400
Hufflepuff: 400
Slytherin: 400
Ravenclaw: 400
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 367, 21st edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra and Alice Remerta copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Notebook:For some reason, many people seem to think I have abandoned this fic...not at all. Hmm. Thanks to Shannon for helping with the Lioness column, Fireblade K'Chona for the song from Mercedes Lackey, and everybody else who helped with Ask Moony. Cameo appearance of Sandra in the fling of the week (as Alex). A Canon character is a character JK who is in the books, for all who asked.
Other Stuff: Some people think I've abandoned this, but I am working on fics. I'm putting Ask Moony up on SugarQuill or Fiction Alley soon, staring a new SLYTHERIN fic for my Slytherin fans, and working on Road Trip & Girl Scouts. Enjoy!
Love, Abi =)