Chapter 5

Over the next two days Edwina had two more visitors, as well as kindly Molly Weasley. First had been a young woman only a few years older than Edwina, who had a button nose and wild purple hair. She had introduced herself as only Tonks, yet she looked remarkably like two of Edwina's mother's cousins. Edwina wondered if she ought to have known this Tonks; if perhaps she were distant family. Mother had not kept much in contact with Grandmother Bledsoe, whom Mother had hated, or Grandmother's family excepting Mother's two favourite cousins.

Later Edwina had a visit from an elderly gentleman, who was a friend of her Great-Aunt Ælfflede, Daedelus Diggle. She had the loveliest memories of him from her childhood. He had been very kind to such a lonely little girl, always bringing nut fudge and teasing her with a Tickling Charm or charming her hair into rainbow colours for the afternoon. Edwina had been pleasurably surprised to see Mr. Diggle, who had remembered to bring nut fudge. He had also seemed very uncomfortable. When Edwina had asked if he were a friend of Remus Lupin he had stuttered and blushed oddly, turning his violently purple hat over in his lap as he replied, "I, well I know him surely, he is, well an excellent wizard, I'm sure, yes, very clever. He, well he does know his stuff surely, yes." Edwina had several visits from Molly Weasley, who had been very motherly and kind, yet Edwina was finding it very hard to be friendly. She clearly had a past relationship with the older woman, who seemed to have a fondness for Edwina, but Edwina still felt that Mrs. Weasley was a stranger only really connected to Remus Lupin.

Eventually Edwina admitted to herself that who she really wanted to see was Remus Lupin himself. She had liked him ever so much in school, which she knew was over a year past, but still seemed to her to be only the week before. The crush had been a painfully strong one, but she had no idea what her feelings were now. Although so little time seemed to have passed, she did feel different. Edwina didn't really feel like a student at Hogwarts. She felt no anxiety about her NEWT results, which she still didn't know. It didn't seem to matter, which didn't feel right. It should matter. School had always been terribly important to Edwina.

Edwina began to really consider Remus Lupin, as she finished a tray of rather mushy breakfast. He was different than he had seemed from the viewpoint of a student. He seemed less thrilling and more interesting, somehow. Edwina swallowed the last bite on her plate and thought about how she didn't feel a paralysing nervousness when she was near him, which she had before. He should still seem like only a professor to her because nothing ought to have changed.

When he looked at her he would be seeing a person that he actually knew. He probably knew more about her than anyone else, which was frightening since she knew almost nothing at all about him. In fact, she was pregnant, so they had obviously done more than take romantic walks at sunset (her favourite daydream during her seventh year). But she had no memory of anything. He hadn't told her how they had started dating. Had she been living at home until they married? Mother had probably been trying to introduce her to eligible wizards and there was no way that her mother would ever have agreed to the marriage.

How had things happened and what was Professor Lupin really like? Who was the wizard she had married? She'd married a werewolf. No wonder her friends had told her she was mad to like him so much. Oh, she had been so silly, constantly mooning over how kind and gentle he had seemed. How he was funny and clever. What had she really known about him? She'd married a dark creature, a half-human. It was all part of the odd nightmare that was apparently her life now. One day she was a student at Hogwarts with a silly crush on a professor and the next day she was married to an old werewolf and pregnant without a single memory of anything happening.

Edwina struggled with the cushions behind her and fitfully flipped the pages of Serena Goode's Simple Spells for the Harried Housewitch, wondering why the nurse had thought she might want to read it. She was bored. She was frustrated by the whole stupid situation. She was lonely. Why hadn't Elspeth or Sophie come to visit? Where was Professor Lupin? He'd said he would be back two days later and he hadn't come. She wanted to see him. She wanted to leave. Why hadn't he come?

"Good morning Mrs. Lupin! How are you feeling today?"

"I am ready to go home."

"Well I don't think that we can let you go home just yet, my dear. You need to rest and we want you healthy before you..."

Edwina cut the nurse off whinging tearfully, "Please, I'm tired of this place. I want to go home!"

"Now dear, we can't just let you walk out when you feel like it. We want you to get better, now don't we?"

Edwina was shaking with emotion and felt her heart racing wildly. "I want to leave now! If you can't let me have proper robes then I will go like this. I can't stay here another day just waiting."

"Would you like me to contact your husband? He could bring your clothing and take you home, if you really wish."

"Will he come now?"

"Well of course he will, Mrs. Lupin, he left instruction to contact him if..."

"What is going on?" Edwina gasped in surprise and turned around to see Remus Lupin leaning on a cane in the doorway with an alarmed expression on his grey, haggard face.

"Mrs. Lupin was asking to leave."

Lupin asked grimly, "Is she healthy enough to depart?"

"Well, sir, they did want to observe her for a few more days, but I believe that she is physically ready to go."

Remus Lupin smiled lightly and calmly replied, "Then I will take her home now. Thank you, Matron." Edwina saw the exhaustion written on his face and watched Remus Lupin politely hold the door for the nurse. As he moved his arm to close the door Edwina saw scratches on his arms that looked very ugly and painful. She then noticed the purple circles under his eyes and grey shadows in the hollows of his face that served to make him look like a man who had been through a long, terrible ordeal. "I don't think that there is any real need to cause trouble, Edwina. You know that you are safe here."

"But I hate it here. It is dull and all they do is ask me question after question and I don't have any answers."

"They are trying to help you, Edwina." Edwina noticed that he avoided looking her in the eyes. "If you will clean yourself up then I will be back in a little while with some clothing for you."

Edwina crossed the room to where he was standing and stood so close to him that she could feel his discomfort. "Why didn't you come yesterday?"

"It took longer than usual for me to recover this month."

"I waited for you all day."

Lupin closed his eyes for a moment and sighed softly, "You might have imagined that I wished I could come, Winnie."

"Are you...okay now?"

Lupin responded shortly, "I am fine. I will be back as soon as I have a change of clothing for you. In the mean time, please get yourself ready and calmed down."

Edwina suddenly felt a little embarrassed and averted her eyes from his face. "Right." After he left, she sat on the bed and thought about how nasty and painful his "changes" must be for him to look so horrible just then. He had been very impatient and clearly irritated with her and she had to admit to herself that she was acting very childishly. For a moment Edwina wondered what Remus Lupin was really like and if she'd really known him before.

That Tonks girl had said that he and his friends had been wild at Hogwarts. And Mr. Diggle had reacted very oddly about him, as well. Of course that could just be the whole werewolf issue, in fact that was mostly like the reason. But should she be afraid of that part of him? Did being a werewolf affect him the other days of the month? He had been the Defence Against Dark Arts professor after all. He would have proven himself awfully knowledgeable about Dark Arts in order to do that, wouldn't he? How did he know all that stuff and what had he been doing since school until he returned to teach? He had probably got letters, as well. (Readers: please see note below.) He had seemed awfully nice and kind, but he must have a very deep side to him. Perhaps she ought to...Edwina jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you feeling ill?"

"No, no, I was just thinking," Edwina stammered and stared at her former professor.

"Well then, I'll leave you again to clean up, ok? I've brought what I think is your favourite robe." He gestured to a dark blue robe lying on the end of the bed. "I will return in a few minutes."

"Wait!" Lupin raised his eyebrows in response to her exclamation. "What happens now?"

"We go home, as you requested."

"Are you angry with me now?"

Remus Lupin frowned, "No, of course not. But I do think we should leave soon if we are going today."

"Okay, I'll try to get ready quickly."

"Take your time, Winnie. I will be outside."

"Thank you."

A few minutes later when Remus Lupin tentatively entered the room he saw Edwina hunched over her knees, which she had drawn up to her chest. She was sitting perched on the edge of the bed so that her very long black hair flowed down the side of the mattress. He paused for a moment to look at her as he tried to push the incredibly harsh pain in his chest away from his consciousness and reminded himself that she was as lost and confused as he was. "Edwina." She turned her head in surprise and he could see that she hadn't done anything since he had left beyond putting on the robes. "Did you want to finish cleaning up?"

"Wha...? Oh, I'm so sorry, sir."

Lupin grimaced as he walked to the basin on the table by the bed and wet the towel that had been placed there. He moved beside her and extended the towel saying gently, "Here you are." Edwina mechanically wiped her face with the damp cloth and handed it back to him. He summoned the comb for her and felt a knot form in his gut as he saw her roughly run it through her hair. He had secretly loved watching her brush out the river of shiny hair every night partly because it was so lovely and mostly because he knew that it was the one part of her that she considered beautiful. For her to be so careless she must be very upset. "Ready to go?"

"Oh, yes, I think so. Thank you."

Edwina looked nervously at Lupin, who lifted his wand and moved the point from her head to her chest; speaking aloud what Edwina knew was a warming charm. Then he gestured for her to follow him. Edwina stood up, walked out the door after him, and followed him down the stairs from the fourth floor and then outside St. Mungo's into the street. He paused a few moments to make certain that she was behind him and then crossed the street slowly. They approached a dusty, deserted looking alleyway and walked all the way to the end.

Remus Lupin pointed his wand at the wall and spoke firmly, "Widgeon." Suddenly there appeared an oddly shaped doorway in front of them, which lead into another alley. Lupin turned to her and smiled encouragingly, "Okay?"

"Yes." Edwina whispered.

Lupin looked at her with concern, but said nothing. He nodded his head towards the door and placed his hand on the small of her back to lead her forward. Surprised, Edwina involuntarily flinched at his touch. She could see from the expression on Lupin's face that he thought she could not stand his touch, but before she could speak he said softly, "I will go first then, so you can see it is safe." He turned to go through the door. Edwina watched as he strode purposefully forward. She ran forward to catch up with him just as he stopped in front of what looked like a deserted tavern. Inside there was no one at the bar and when they walked in Edwina could see that all the tables were very dusty. "All you have to say is Hatishall Cottage. You go first and I'll follow you." Lupin was handing her a brown paper packet with his cane hand as he pointed his wand hand at the dirty fireplace grate. A fire burst up in front of them and she understood that the packet must contain floo powder.

"Hatishall Cottage?"

"Yes. Don't worry, Winnie, you can trust me. Nothing bad is going to happen; you are just going to floo. I'll be right behind you."

"Okay." She slung the packet into the flame and spoke loudly, "Hatishall Cottage." Immediately the familiar pull of floo travel grasped her and she was spun forward for several minutes before being sharply released.

Author's Note:

Although I have made every other effort to keep my story strictly within the parameters of Rowling's universe, I am going to take one definite, purposeful diversion. Although nothing has been mentioned in her books re wizarding universities, Rowling has said in interview that the wizarding world has none. Frankly, I find this absolutely inconsistent with everything else that Rowling has written or said about wizarding culture. This is a world that spends a great deal of time learning and exploring magic (for fun, for enterprise, or for academic purpose). Additionally, this is a mediaeval culture in many ways. Universities were a definite part of the culture for the intellectual elite during that time. I cannot imagine that the wizarding world would not have established at least one university. I do believe that a university education would be a very rare thing. Most witches and wizards would progress no further than secondary education and any specific training needed for their chosen profession. Apprenticeships would be common practise. University education would be looked upon as an elitist pursuit, but would and must be a possibility. Therefore with the greatest deference to Ms. Rowling, I am going to act on the assumption that Europe has three wizarding universities. These will be explained in a later note.