Much later, on another cold and gray afternoon on Naboo, Queen Amidala stood in the small hidden graveyard that sat behind the forest and the rolling hills of the lake. Padme always liked this graveyard, in the winter everything seemed to stand out like dark crystals in the snow. But today the trees seemed darker and almost bare as they rocked back and forth with the wind.
She stood before a tiny circle headstone made out of dark marble that said.
"Azaria K. Amidala" Three hours old.
It had been a few weeks since Padme was well enough to leave the medic wing, she was still slightly bruised and sore, and walked with a cane for the time being. The people of her planet had fallen into deep sadness when word of her lost child spread across the land. In fact the very came night she was fast asleep, just hours after loosing her daughter, everyone in the city stood with candles in the dim blue colored night sky and prayed for her.
At that exact time a young Jedi Knight, only twenty years old boarded a ship and swore never to return.
Padme had a gray shawl wrapped around her as another breeze blew some of her fallen hair into her face.
Her skin was pale, and she hadn't had a peaceful rest sine it happened.
The pain seemed never ending.
She remembered coughing up blood during the delivery, and the nurses cursing out the doctor for making her go through his...that she was to weak.
But she pushed like they said, and even if she felt as if her legs were numb, and her body out of burning water, she bore down as screamed with all her might as they took her little daughter out of her.
She fell backwards into the nurses arms, her hair matted with sweat as she saw her tiny daughter get lifted into the air, crying out for pure oxygen.
It was the happiest moment of her life.
She started to cry herself, knowing that all this pain was worth it...that this was her daughter, and that she was now a mother.
It was a miracle.
Her daughter cried as they wrapped her up with a tiny white blanket and placed her in her arms. All of the nurses were smiling as she held her baby and looked down at her tiny little face.
She looked like her daddy.
"Oh...hello there little one."
She started to cry and rocked her slowly back and forth.
This was it, this was her little part of life.
She laughed as her baby wiggled his arms up, and Padme then looked up at the doctor.
"How can a person be so in love with someone they just met?"
The doctor's smiled, and they let her hold her for another minute or so before they took her away to be cleaned up and they told her they needed to finnish working on her.
Before she knew it she was asleep...and woke up almost a week later.
Her mother was the one to tell her what happened, holding her hand with tears forming in her eyes.
She told her these things happened, and that there was nothing they could have done.
Her baby...her little girl dead?
No, this had to be some kind of cruel joke.
Why was she telling her this?
Her baby was fine, she was just holding her.
Padme then broke down in her mother's arms and cried until it hurt. It wasn't until the next day that she looked up at her mother with dead dried up eyes and told her she couldn't go on.
Her mother held her, just like she did so many years ago, and rocked her back and forth.
Later Padme asked about Obi-Wan...how could she be so stupid, how was he doing, oh how it made her heart ache to know that he was here when it happened...he learned that his daughter died without even seeing her in the flesh.
He wanted this baby just as much.
It was her fault, and he must have been blaming it on her. But Padme's mother handed her the letter and she read it, over and over again.
At first she was confused, having to read it a million times before her eyes hurt to fully understand it. Then when everything seemed to click together she started to cry.
Was he blaming her, was he angry with her? Why would he leave...why?
She asked these questions to her mother, before she placed her hand on hers and told her everything.
It wasn't meant to be.
Even if they did love each other, and were willing ti risk it all.
They had to end it...for each other.
They had suffered a great loss, and they just had to come clean with the fact that she was a Queen, and he was a Jedi Knight...and what they were doing was dangerous.
He wanted her to keep going, to live life and not stop it.
It had to end, and even at first when she didn't understand, and was angry, and then blamed herself...she understood after her mother spoke to her.
They had to keep going, he would live his life, and she would live hers.
Time healed everything.
And even if she did see him again, it wouldn't be for a long time...and when they did, they would act as friends and nothing else.
It was hard to take in...the love of your life, the father of your child...now gone. But she felt as if she had lost everything...and knew deep down inside, even if it did hurt.
He was doing the right thing.
So she stood there, her heart still aching as she looked down at the tiny headstone which read her daughter's name.
Her so called future, hopes, and dreams were buried along with her daughter's corpse.
Leaves blew around on the ground.
She sighed, then looking over at Kahlia who stood beside her with a set face on.
Padme then kneeled down, and brushed some of the dirt away with the bottom of her palm.
"You would have been loved..." she said in a low enough voice, that only she could hear.
With her free hand she held in her pocket the braid that Obi-Wan had given her.
It hurt...but she knew she had to move on.
With that she stood up, and walked back to the kingdom with Kahlia.
And very much like Obi-Wan, who was millions of light-years away in a different galaxy, training Anakin on one of their first missions, he held in his feelings.
Time was going to be slow at first, and at first Padme was all he would think about.
He found himself crying at night, trying to keep the noise down so Anakin wouldn't hear.
It hurt...but this was his choice.
And so days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months.
Soon the kingdom was back on working order, trying to forget about the attempt that was out on the Queen's life, and Padme served her people well, even smiling.
After eight long years or living her life as Queen, she served in the senate, letting politics now take over her life, that now she was starting to enjoy.
Yes, it took time, time to heal over her loss...but Yoda and Mace were right, she was still young and had had so much more life to give.
Even if deep down inside her heart, it still burned for everything that was taken away from her.
She ruled as a fine Queen and took care of her people, letting time pass her by as she started to lean the true meaning of life...to live it.
She saw other men, but never slept with them, somehow...deep down inside she still couldn't burn off the scares that her first love gave to her.
She didn't hate Obi-Wan, in fact as time went on she cared more about him in a different way...as a friend.
It might of all been an act, and Padme thought maybe it became so easy because he wasn't there to look her in the eye anymore, or to hold her in his arms.
She had to pretend, she had to keep going on...that's what he would have wanted.
And Obi-Wan, traveled from planet to planet...taking his grief and replacing it with the teachings of being a fine master to his young and wild padawan.
He became stern and very much like a father figure, even laughing years later as he watched his padawan grow into a lean and handsome teenager,
He was going what he promised his late master.
He was becoming a fine Jedi Knight.
It was always just the two of them, going from place to place, always putting in a wise word to Anakin as he scared him in flying, or leaped around with his lightsaber.
It was a tough job, but slowly he was starting to feel happy again.
And like Padme, deep down inside his heart still ached for his lost daughter and lost love.
But that was just between them and the past.
She was living out her life as a Queen and as member of the senate, and he was living out his as a Jedi Knight.
Years past, and soon the memories became dim, Obi-Wan and Padme remembered the past they shared, but knew it was not meant to be.
They had to keep going...they had to keep living.