Chapter 7

Edwina heard the light tone of Lupin's question, but his bright, alert eyes and tensed jaws belied his casual mood. She responded uncertainly, "Maybe, I...do I have a big greyish-black dog?"

"Yes, a Neapolitan Mastiff named Blackie. He is with a friend right now, since I couldn't care for him when I was ill."

"Blackie? That sounds familiar. I bet I named him."

Lupin smiled, "You did. Why do you say that?"

"Because I suspect you would have been more creative."

Lupin laughed lightly. "I gave you Blackie for a present just this last year."

"So I shouldn't remember him, should I?" Lupin shook his head. "I can't believe that Mother allowed me to keep him."

"I kept him here actually. You felt your mother would never allow it and I think you were probably right. I meant him as protection for you, Winnie. We were engaged then, so I felt that when we married you should have protection against...any accidents, I suppose."

"Oh! I thought that there wasn't any danger if you took that potion."

"There shouldn't be, no. However I do not want to take any risks with your safety. What if the potion were ineffectively brewed or what if somehow I forgot to take it? That has happened actually, which led to my "condition" being made public at the end of last year."

"You didn't hurt anyone?" Lupin shook his head. "Is our bedroom, well does it have pink and green floral paper and something with a yellow bird?"

"No." Lupin thought for a moment and asked, "Would the paper be large pink roses and green ivy?"

"Yes, I think so."

"That might be... actually do you have any memories associated with that room?"

"Just waiting and being scared." Lupin flinched noticeably, so Edwina said quickly, "The sort of scared you feel when something is about to happen and you don't know how it will go. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it does. We stayed in a small hotel called the Golden Canary on our wedding night. I suspect that is what you are remembering."

"Oh. I hope so. It would be good to have some sort of memory of us." Lupin nodded, but again he wouldn't look her in the eye. "Is it bad that I have these memories?"

"No, it isn't bad, but it is odd. The healer was very insistent that your memory loss was complete and irreversible. I'm afraid that I wasn't entirely willing to accept his diagnosis at first so he had to explain in some detail to me later. What he described was a total erasure of memories that was very purposeful and would have been complete. There shouldn't be anything remaining, Edwina."

"But then why.."

Edwina was interrupted abruptly by Lupin, "I don't know, Winnie. I simply don't know. We can take you back to St. Mungo's, of course, where you will be seen by the same memory specialist, who will mostly likely cast the same bloody expensive diagnostic spells to reach the same useless conclusion, but what other choice do we have? Maybe this time they'll find something they didn't before." Lupin stood up so quickly that his chair almost fell backwards and he began pacing across the kitchen floor. After a few seconds he said softly, "I didn't mean that Winnie, I'm sorry."

Edwina huddled back into her chair and watched her former professor continue to cross the small kitchen in three limping paces, carefully avoiding a large platter on the floor that was filled with water, and then turn on his better foot to begin again. She could see that he was angry, but not angry at her, yet she still felt frightened. "Sir?"

Lupin stopped and looked sadly at Edwina, "Yes?"

"Do you think we ought to go back to hospital? I mean, is there someone else we ought to see or do you think, I mean can we really not afford to go back?"

"No, no, Winnie, I know what I said, but I was merely frustrated and out of my head. We will afford anything that you need to have done - money will not stand in our way, don't worry."

"Well then should we go?"

"I suppose we should. If they can do anything to help you then it is more than worth the cost. I don't think that it matters if we go today or tomorrow, however. If you would rather wait then we can."

"Don't let's go now then. Can't we have some more time to really talk? I feel like we ought to know where we really are and maybe you could tell me more about what's gone on. Could we?"

Lupin had stopped his pacing and as she had spoken, he sat down again next to her. Edwina saw an odd smile cross his lips, but when she looked up into his eyes he only looked immensely sad. "Of course we could. Why don't we go somewhere more comfortable to talk?" Edwina stood up and tried to hide a small yawn. "Are you tired, love?"

Edwina heard the endearment and thought that if he really were in love with her that he had not been overtly affectionate or loving. He had been kind, but in an avuncular manner. "Oh, yes, but it's ok."

Lupin spoke softly and kindly, "There isn't any hurry, you know. You could take a nap and we will talk later when you are rested." Edwina acquiesced with a nod and followed him out of the kitchen and through the dining room to a hall.

The narrow hall was carpeted with a truly ancient Persian rug and had no pictures or paintings of any sort on the walls. The only decoration was what appeared to be a very long line of runic text, which was carved into the wood panelling at the very top of the walls. Lupin turned a knob shaped rather like a coiled serpent and stood at the doorway of the last room on the hall, gesturing for her to precede him. "I'll start a fire for you and you can get yourself settled."

Edwina looked around the room. It was small and the walls had an old, faded green vine print. A heavy panelled bed, which had thick light green velveteen drapes and very ornate carving on the headboard and posts, took up the majority of the space in the room. Edwina was somewhat relieved to see that the carvings were of flowers and falcons and a winged woman with long hair streaming behind her, who was standing in some sort of chariot, pulled by ...two cats? Yes, those were cats. No gaping jaws of death or frightening monsters. She suspected that she should know who the woman was, but it had been a long time since Professor Binns had covered mythical magical societies in History of Magic.

There was a small dressing table with an old silver mirror and brush set, a perfume bottle, and a red leather bound book. Edwina recognised her own things, which she found to be very comforting. The old red Bible had been her Grandmother Leighton's and had gone with Edwina to Hogwarts. She would have put it in her bedroom, so the room immediately felt more like home. The only other furniture was a very old, plain cherry wardrobe and a Jacobean chair beside the bed. Again there were no paintings or decorations on the wall with the exception of a small crucifix over the dressing table. The room looked sparsely furnished despite its small size. "Go ahead and lay down, Winnie. The bed won't bite, I promise." Edwina felt extremely shy as she perched on the edge of the bed and looked at Lupin's back as he leaned in to check for coal. She watched as he dusted off his hands after tossing in a pile of coal, but he didn't turn around. "You needn't be nervous about me. I shan't be getting in there with you. Why don't you take off your shoes and get under the covers?" As he turned to face her with a comforting smile, Edwina flushed deeply and lay back stiffly on the blankets. "You can trust me." He stepped forward and reached to help her slip out of her shoes. Edwina sat up quickly and moved to take of the other shoe and stared up at him shyly. Lupin smiled softly at her and pulled up the blankets for her.

Edwina slid beneath the covers and whispered, "Thank you."

"More comfortable?"

"Mm-hm."

Lupin raised his wand and asked, "Shall I draw the curtains so you can rest?"

"Could you stay a moment?" Lupin did not respond, but instead looked questioningly at her. "Will you tell me more about us, I mean how it happened? I really want to know."