Interviews with Random People
Black: This is Sirius Black, your reporter for the Gryffindor Oracle. Today, we are here with Random Person Chelsea Madding, who is here to give us Random Information on Random Subjects!
Madding: Hi *waves*
Black: Yes. Now, Chelsea--can I call you Chelsea?--what do you think about penguins?
Madding: I like penguins. I've never met one personally, but I think that it is a very cool animal and that they deserve to be on pajama pants.
Black: That is most interesting! So Chelsea, what do you think on that all-important issue: should we have macaroni-and-cheese on Tuesdays or Thursdays?
Madding: I like having macaroni-and-cheese on Tuesdays. I think it's a really groovy thing and Tuesdays are always bad for me anyway because I have History of Magic on Tuesday and I hate it.
Black: Who doesn't? Now, Chelsea, what do you think about...bow ties verses ties?
Madding: I think it's kind of like berets. Some guys can pull off a bow tie, some guys can pull off a tie, and some guys look sexy in either, some look better with their shirt half unbuttoned *glances at Sirius*
Black: Thank you for this intersting insight to the Gryffindor female mind! This has been Sirius Black with Chelsea Madding, in our new series Interviews With Random People. Want to be interviewed? Well, just hang around the common room when I'm doing these interviews!
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
What is the air speed velocity of an un-laden swallow?
Dear Curious,
A swallow can beat its wings 43 times per second but only if its not carrying a coconut. Also, those are European swallows, not African swallows.
Moony
Dear Moony,
Sirius kidnapped by pet parrot and decapitated all my little sister's Barbie dolls. Then he stole all of my glitter and jewelry and my secret stash of sugar packet. He has sent his dog to steal random articles of my clothing including two thongs, one bra, and my favorite bikini. Sirius has also taken to watching me behind the bookshelves when I'm in the library and following me around. What should I do?
-Annoyed with Sirius
Dear Annoyed,
Don't worry about it; you'll get the parrot back. I think he just has a crush on you.
Moony
Dear Moony,
Were you murdered by your twin brother so that he could name Rome after himself?
-Padfoot
Dear Padfoot,
That was my great to the power of 300 grandfather Remus. I'm named after him. Ironically, my brother was the one who was named Romulus and is a Squib...
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, (or purplenicole@msn.com) and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Wondered what's going on in Gryffindor? Ever wanted to know what's happening? Well, now you can find out from the Queen of Gossip herself...
Lion's Roar
Well, Sirius Black has a new fling-of-the week, unsurprisingly! This week, he's going out with fellow fifth year Rachel Greenlaw, that fun, slightly insane brunette we all wonder about. They're both insane and love Muggle music! They should get along well.
But, sadly, some people are already wondering exactly how long this new fling would last! Haley Kinarin has already started a betting pool on how many days/weeks this couple will last; so far the betting ranges from two days (which is what it is now) to five weeks, which is Sirius's record for going out with anyone. Poor Sirius; he's so abused. Wait, what am I saying?!?
Well, other couple news is getting almost sickeningly funny this week. James and Lily are at it again--apparently, the whole facade of ignoring Lily was really just a desperate attempt to get her to go out with him. Jordan McKinnon, while borrowing a quill from Peter Pettigrew, found in the dorm room a whole book on the 'Sirius 12-Step Girl Scouting Method' which was all geared to make Lily fall in love with James! Jordan told his dormmates, who spread it all over the common room, and now Lily is angry beyond words as well as an interesting shade of red. Some people have reported that she was seen crying by this!? How true are these reports?
This has been Alice Remerta with Lion's Roar, the Gryffindor gossip column. Have any juicy tidbits of gossip? Share it with me--slip it under dorm room 10 and it could appear in Lion's Roar!
Lioness Thought of the Day
Sleep is good. People are stupid.
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 314
Hufflepuff: 327
Slytherin: 314
Ravenclaw: 367
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 400, 24th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra and Alice Remerta copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Notes: Sorry that I took so long with the contest winners! Here is Punurple (sissyrachie@cox.net), featuring as a fling of the week. I'm having fun with Interviews With Random People, so I'll continue it for a while. This chapter is dedicated to UnPatient, who sent me a (nice) flame about how I haven't updated in a month. I hadn't realized it'd been so long =P. Sorry, and love you all!