Interviews with Random People
Black: This is Sirius Black, your reporter for the Gryffindor Oracle. Today, we are here with Random Person Lucy Harting, who is here to give us Random Information on Random Subjects!
Harting: Like, hi!
Black:Like, whatever! Now Lucy, can you give us your opinion on pickles?
Harting: I like pickles on my sandwiches sometimes, and I like the little sweet kinds.
Black: Disgusting! How could you! So Lucy, what did you think about the lovely Slytherin reendition of the Bohemian Rhapsody this morning at breakfast?
Harting: It was funny. I laughed so hard I cried.
Black: Yes, it was, wasn't it? Anyway, now can you tell our readers what you do in History of Magic class?
Harting: Like, I paint my nails! I don't have time in any other class and it's not like we ever do anything important in there anyway!
Black: Thanks, Lucy! This has been Sirius Black, giving you amusing insights into the Gryffindor Population with Interviews with Random People. Come back next week for more useless information from random people!
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
I 'accidently' poured a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew onto Snape while teaching first years how to make a wet Snape out of Snape. Now Snape is out for my blood. What should I do?
~*little-lost-one
Dear Little Lost One,
I don't think you really have a reason to fear. I mean, Snape has been out for Sirius's blood for years, and has that bothered Sirius? You tell me!
Moony
Dear Moony,
Have you ever made something out of something?
-Padfoot
Dear Padfoot,
Yeah, that one time with that one thing in that one place with that girl with the eyes and the hair...you remember that?
Moony
Dear Moony,
Why do you always tell Sirius to go to sleep? Does he ever listen to you?
-Curious
Dear Curious,
Because that's the most sensible thing to do when dealing with Sirius. Nope.
Moony
Dear Moony,
If the wind is blowing at *licks finger puts it to wind*45 degress do south, and Rumplestilskin is doing the hokey pokey and he turns his self around, and pluto is in uranusas' ninth house *shrugs shoulders*(i dont know) then what in the world is up with snapes hair? I mean have you seen that thing? theres like a whole eco system growing in there, that only survives on grease!
-Lady Lil' Fred
Dear Lady Lil' Fred,
I don't know. Someone started a rumor that he washed his hair in Lestoil, but what is Lestoil?
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, (or purplenicole@msn.com) and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Wondered what's going on in Gryffindor? Ever wanted to know what's happening? Well, now you can find out from the Queen of Gossip herself...
Lion's Roar
Well, things have been very interesting this week. This morning, the whole of Gryffindor house was serenaded by the Slytherins, singing Sirius's favorite song: "The Bohemian Rhapsody" by the muggle artist Queen. This flagrancy seems to point directly to Sirius and he (along with the other Marauders) has been assigned to detention for a week. But the mystery is how did he make them do it? He's not talking and even McGonagall can't find out.
Lily has been acting really weird all week. Some girls say she's sick, some say she's upset, and Madria Lovegood claimed that Lily had a crush on James and was pining for him! Mad Madria, what would we do without her. Of course that's not true---right? I mean, it's an unwritten law of nature that Lily hates James and James loves Lily, right? Somebody tell me what the heck is wrong with the picture!
This has been Alice Remerta with Lion's Roar, the Gryffindor gossip column. Have any juicy tidbits of gossip? Share it with me--slip it under dorm room 10 and it could appear in Lion's Roar!
Lioness Thought of the Day
History of Magic has been the most boring class in Hogwarts for about three million years. Has anyone figured out why?
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 400
Hufflepuff: 378
Slytherin: 400
Ravenclaw: 378
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 400, 25th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra and Alice Remerta copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Notes: Poor Lily really does like James and she really is pining for him. Awww. But Alice is too thick to figure it out. Thanks to everybody who reviewed.
THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS...for there are only eight weeks of school left, and thus only seven more episodes of the Oracle (take a week off for O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s). I actually started this after the school year started and will cover through the end of school. I might do the MWPP 6th year, if popular demand is great enough. Thanks to all reviewers, and I love you all!