Interviews with Random People
Black: This is Sirius Black, your reporter for the Gryffindor Oracle. Today, we are here with Random Person Abigail Lydian, who is here to give us Random Information on Random Subjects!
Lydian: Hi.
Black: Yes, hi. Now Abby--can I call you Abby?--can you tell us about how you feel about green socks?
Lydian: Well, I think you're weird, but you like green socks, so that's your thing. I like socks that are purple. And I prefer 'Abi' with an i on the end.
Black: Yeah, whatever. Now Abby-with-an-I, you're a sixth year, right? How does it feel to be test-free for a year?
Lydian: It's great. Sixth year is the best because you're done with O.W.L.s, and N.E.W.T.s are coming but still far enough off that you don't really worry, and everybody just messes around all year. Nobody really cares about schoolwork. I swear you're going to love it.
Black: I'm dying with anticipation. Do you have any thoughts on lava lamps for our loyal readers?
Lydian: What's a lava lamp?
Black: O-kay, thanks a lot Abigail for your very intersting insights into the freakishness of sixth years!
Lydian: *Iaughs* Glad I could help.
Black: This has been Sirius Black, reporter for The Gryffindor Oracle, here with your series of Interviews with Random People. Come back next time for more useless and stupid information!
Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...
Ask Moony
Dear Moony,
I have this friend who likes torturing advice columnists. I want her
to stop, but I think...I mean, SHE thinks it's so much fun! What
should we do?
-Future Death Eater..., uh, friend of a future Death Eater
Dear Future Death Eater,
You should KILL HER NOW!!!!
Moony (on the edge of his sanity)
Dear Moony,
Sirius is planning to paint Snape orange and purple. Should I warn him? Or just call him weird names and laugh?
Painting Snape
Dear Painting Snape,
Call him weird names and laugh. What kind of Gryffindor are you?!
Moony
Dear Moony,
I was in divination yesterday, and Professor Trelawny went all weird (weirder then usual) and told me that I was a traitor. Should I ignore her?
Wormtail
Dear Wormtail,
Yep.
Moony
Dear Moony,
You are aware that Aladdin is a BOY'S name, right? Does your girlfriend get that a lot?
--The Incredibly, Discerningly Observant One
Dear Incredibly Discerningly Observant One,
Yes, I am, but am I correct in discerning that you are making fun of my girlfriend? And with your amazing powers of observation, are you aware that you are likely to get your nose busted in? Just asking...
Moony
Do you want Moony to answer your questions? Send them to room ten, boys dorms, third door on the left, (or purplenicole@msn.com) and YOU might appear in the Gryffindor Oracle!
Wondered what's going on in Gryffindor? Ever wanted to know what's happening? Well, now you can find out from the Queen of Gossip herself...
Lion's Roar
Things have been weird all week! There is more news to add to last week's scandal: James Potter was using this '12-Step Program' to get Lily to sleep with him, according to Jordan McKinnon! Could it be true? Could James Potter, sweetheart and all-around good-guy of Gryffindor, really have been using Lily like that?
The girls have all taken Lily's side, of course, and most boys even are doubting James for doing such a low-down thing openly. Poor James! Poor Lily! Lily has been understandably upset and angry about this, smacking James Potter twice, flipping him off as well as cussing him out, and throwing her ink bottle at him, which now results in a bruise and cut on his forehead. And couples everywhere are being affected by the James-Lily user rumor. Girls are starting to distrust their boyfriends! Are all boys like this? I need to go talk to Frank....
This has been Alice Remerta with Lion's Roar, the Gryffindor gossip column. Have any juicy tidbits of gossip? Share it with me--slip it under dorm room 10 and it could appear in Lion's Roar!
Lioness Thought of the Day
O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s absolutely suck. For everyone.
House Points Currently:
Gryffindor: 400
Hufflepuff: 378
Slytherin: 400
Ravenclaw: 378
All Materials Copyright The Gryffindor Oracle, volume 400, 26th edition--all character copyright JK Rowling. Aladdin Niadra and Alice Remerta copyright Abigail Nicole, as well as any minor characters.
Notes:If you couldn't tell, Abigail Lydian is me :). I get special priveleges, being the authoress and all. Love you all, and review!
Shameless plug here: To find out why Lily's pining, check out: 'You Used to Make Sense', my new short story!
THE COUNTDOWN Continues... with only six episodes left! Next episode will have Mel, the last contest winner. For more on the format of the last couple of chapters and have all mysteries revealed, check out the Writing of the Oracle ( purpleabigail/writingoforacle.html and take out the spaces). The 32nd Edition will be super-long and fun; check for info on that.