I would like to thank all of my kind reviewers: Taleel, Julian, FLGemma, and Bri007. It always helps to know that someone is actually reading my story, but it is doubly nice to have you all say such lovely things, too!

Also, it is time to reiterate: I am not JK Rowling. Everything that is written herein is purely for pleasure and not for profit.

Chapter 10

Edwina could not believe how much emotion that single kiss had raised. She was sure those feelings were much more than a crush. How long had it taken before for her to fall in love? She must have still liked him when she met him in the bookstore. Perhaps a year later she still had, but that was a long time to hold onto a crush.

Edwina redressed quickly and opened the bedroom door. She walked back up the hall and stuck her head tentatively into the sitting room, but Remus was not there. Then she looked into the other door on that end of the hall and saw a lavatory. He was standing at a cupboard replacing a dark purple bottle on the top shelf. She stepped inside the small white room and said, "I'm done."

"Why don't you go back into..."

"Oh! How did you do that?" Edwina grabbed up his arm and ran a finger beside a deep gash.

"It is nothing, it will heal. I was just putting medicine on it."

"Is that from changing?"

"Yes, but I don't usually hurt myself, not now."

"You hurt yourself?"

"Not on purpose, of course. But sometimes the changes are difficult. Come with me into the sitting room? I have been thinking that perhaps we should contact someone before we take you back to St. Mungo's."

"Who?"

Remus sighed and with a set face said, "First we will talk to Headmaster Dumbledore, alright? You trust him, don't you?"

Edwina narrowed her eyes and spoke slowly, "Ye-es, I do, why?"

"Well, it is hard to explain, actually. Before I do, I need you to understand some things that have been happening recently."

"Okay."

"Do you remember in your fifth year hearing about what happened with Professor Quirrell?"

"I heard a rumour, but it was all rather silly. They said that he'd been possessed by You-know-who, but Father said that was a lie."

"Hmm, well, it was true, actually. Voldemort did possess Professor Quirrell's body. Voldemort is still alive and about six months ago he was reborn into a new body. We believe that he has risen back to full power."

Edwina did not say anything. She sat in total shock and stared with wide, frightened eyes at Remus.

"There was a witness to Voldemort's rebirth, so there is no doubt, Edwina. Yet it was at least a year before that when my friends and I were already convinced that Voldemort had returned. We have been working together since that time."

Edwina was gripping her hands so tightly that Remus placed his hand over them so she would relax them. "You can't be an auror, can you?"

"No, but I was never meant to be an auror. I have fought Death Eaters and will again when I must, Winnie, but I do not seek them out."

Edwina twisted her fingers so that they were now almost holding hands and asked with a frightened gasp, "You fought them?"

"Last time, yes. My friends and I all worked together in a secret organisation. It had to be secret, you understand, to keep us safe against spies for Voldemort. There were many traitors at the Ministry and elsewhere, so we had to be careful."

"I see. I remember being told about how horrible it was. My cousin Harald told me that no one trusted anyone and that friends killed each other."

Remus thought quickly through her family tree and realised with surprise that she probably meant Harald Wodestaff. Wodestaff had almost certainly been a sympathiser, who had passed information regarding the regulation department to Voldemort's spies. "Your cousin was right. That is how it was then and now it is going to become more of the same. The Minister does not want to believe that Voldemort is back, Edwina. He is trying to keep all information about Voldemort or Death Eater activities quiet."

"Why? That's just plain daft. Why would people let this happen again?"

"They don't want to believe that it could happen again, Winnie."

"You and your friends, you are still in that organisation?"

"Some of us have started it again, yes."

"Do I belong, too?"

"No, Winnie. It is a small group."

"So they wouldn't want me?"

Lupin chose his words carefully, "You and I discussed whether you would join about two months ago and we came to a mutual decision that you should not. Members of this organisation have to be able to put themselves in extremely dangerous situations and even push themselves to extreme limits if necessary. You feared whether you could handle yourself if there was a duel. I was and am more concerned about your health. Especially now that there is a baby coming."

"I hate being Breochaidie." Edwina pulled a face and continued angrily, "And I was hopeless at duelling. I don't have a quick reflex or something, I don't know. But don't you think that there are things that I could do, which don't mean having to wave a wand?"

"Yes, there are. You have been raising seven apothecary-potions grade plants for us, which when ready will be used for several potions. It is extremely important that we not advertise having made any of these potions, which ordering ingredients would do."

"Is that all I can do?"

"That is more than enough, Winnie. Was there something else you wanted to do?"

"I don't know. I just don't like being left out."

"I understand that. We can reassess your membership in the organisation later, but I think that we have some more pressing matters to handle first."

"Okay."

"I was saying how important security was for our organisation and this is perhaps even more so now."

"Okay."

"Some of the members of our group feel that there might be some concern for the organisation regarding why your memory was wiped, to put it baldly. I do not know that I agree, but since my loyalty to Headmaster Dumbledore is very well known, it is definitely possible. It was suggested that some more invasive tactics be used to try to...basically to look through your mind. Headmaster Dumbledore absolutely refused to allow it, Edwina, since we had been told that your memories were completely wiped. I have to let him know that this isn't entirely the case."

"What do you mean look through my mind? Is it dangerous or painful or something?"

"It is extremely invasive and will be very unpleasant for you to say the least, my dear. Legilmency is not dangerous to you, no, although what Sev...what was suggested was actually something more complicated than that and very likely traumatic for you."

"You want me to do this?" Edwina asked with apprehension.

"No. Absolutely not. I am unwaveringly opposed to allowing you to undergo Mens Rasura, Edwina. Albus, that is to say Headmaster Dumbledore, wouldn't ask that of me." Remus looked with a frown into the fireplace and muttered, "He wouldn't."

"Would he ask it of me, Remus?"

Remus turned to face Edwina again, "You are right, it is you who would have to really agree to any of this. But I'm afraid that you might be more willing than I would be to risk your health."

"It is my health to risk, isn't it?"

"Not now, no. It is also our baby that would be affected."

"Oh. I had forgotten."

Remus nodded and his hoarse voice was full of emotion, "I wouldn't allow you to undergo Mens Rasura, under any circumstances, Edwina." He walked over to where she was sitting on the arm of the chintz chair. "You say that you want to stay with me and try to love me again?" Remus lifted her face with his hand on her chain so he could look into her eyes. "If you stay then you will have to learn to accept that I will never put you at risk. I will do what I have to do, Winnie, but you won't put yourself in danger, do you understand?" Edwina nodded her head. "You are too important, my dear, and that is only more true now that we are having a baby."

"You don't think that you are important, too? You wouldn't let me do something to help you?" Remus stood awkwardly next to Edwina, who had stood up next to him. "The way you talk about things it is like everything is for me and you do all the work. I mean, is that how it was before? Was I happy letting you make a heap of sacrifices without doing anything for yourself?"

"That isn't how it was. You would never have allowed that, no."

"I hope not, because I can't imagine how I could have been so selfish. You are important, too, Remus. I...I mean you are a..." Edwina stammered and felt her cheeks burning. "I think you are rather wonderful, you know." Edwina stared fixedly at the thin brown buttons on Remus' robes and hoped that he believed her. She felt his left hand on her arm and looked up shyly.

"Thank you." Edwina could not quite read the expression on his face, but could see very deep emotion in his eyes as he looked down at her. Remus kissed her forehead and said gruffly, "I think that we ought to talk to Headmaster Dumbledore, don't you?"

Chapter 10, Part 2

"Professor Snape? Is that really who Headmaster means?"

Remus pressed his lips together and nodded his head. "Yes. Severus would be the best choice. He is one of the most accomplished Legilmens that I know, but more importantly he is a member of our organisation, Winnie. He understands the need for secrecy."

"But everyone at school always said that Professor Snape had been a Death Eater."

"Severus Snape worked with us last time, as well as now. But this is extremely dangerous information, Edwina. You cannot tell anyone about this or what we talked of before. Do you understand?

"Yes, but it doesn't matter, I couldn't bear it. You said that he would be looking through my mind. I just couldn't."

"Then you won't do it, Edwina. No one is going to force you."

"Would I remember more when he was done?"

"No, not if all he does is Legilmency."

"The other thing though..."

"Possibly, but I can't allow it, Edwina."

"Even if I could remember everything?"

"You wouldn't. It isn't a cure. If there were a cure then St. Mungo's healers would have used it. No, Mens Rasura would dig out residual memories. You would have half memories, essentially vague feelings, no more. And there would be no differentiation between bad memories, which you might have purposely suppressed, and memories that were forcibly suppressed. It is very dark magic, Edwina. In fact, Severus would not perform the spells himself. There is a cost to be paid for magic of that degree and I am the only one who could be expected to pay it."

"You would have to do it?"

"Yes, although Severus would have to do the actual scans."

"Oh, so it is dangerous because it involves dark arts?"

"Yes, because with all dark magic, Edwina, a price is paid by the both the caster of the spell and the recipient. The damage to your mind and memory could be severe if we made any mistakes, but even if it were done correctly you would be traumatised merely by the experience. Since you are a Breochaidie, the spellcasting could do much worse. I cannot allow you to consider it."

"It sounds horrible."

"There is a reason why the dark arts are to be avoided, Winnie."

"How do you know so much about this?" Remus did not respond. He looked grimly at her and shook his head. "So there isn't anything we can do that would give me back my memory."

"Not like it was, no. Unless your memories were not erased, but merely taken and stored in a pensieve, which I should think was extraordinarily unlikely, then the best thing you could ever get is the residual memory."

"So what do we do?"

"Are you asking what I want you to do?"

"Yes."

"That is hard to say, Edwina. I know that the experience would be mortifying for you and for personal reasons the thought of Severus invading your mind is doubly undesirable. There is a part of me that wants to be sure that there isn't anything that Severus could find, but it is not a good idea. We should take you to St. Mungo's tomorrow morning and let them do more tests."

"Ok." Edwina placed her hands lightly on his chest and asked softly, "Is there something that you are afraid of finding?" Remus placed his arms around her.

"There can't be any good reason why this was done to you, Winnie." Remus thought to himself, as he pressed her to him and breathed in the scent of her hair, that there was no reason to raise his suspicions to her. As afraid of having his belief confirmed as he was, he wanted to know so badly it was almost a physical need. He had seriously considered convincing her to allow Severus Snape to come walk through her mind, in case Snape could have found some proof one way or the other. But an answer would only mean that two wizards would be tortured, one to death and the other for the rest of his life. Remus felt surprise at the list of really unpleasant curses that had already formed in his mind to be used. But whoever the mysterious man was he had not needed to use any magic to permanently curse Remus' soul, just basic masculine anatomy.

"No. What do you think happened?"

"I don't know, Winnie. It doesn't make sense no matter what theories I have."

"I think it was my father. I don't know why he would have, but somehow I feel it was he."

Since this corresponded exactly with Remus' own thought, he was not too surprised. "It is possible, my love. Your father has always had his own motivations, many of them somewhat, erm, dodgy. And I do suspect that he would be pleased to do what he could to unmake our relationship."

"Was he vicious about our marriage?"

"Quite."

"Father was always difficult, Remus. He loved me, but I rather think that he hated Mother. I think that he resented that the money belonged to her."

"Perhaps that was so, Edwina, but you are right that he cared for you."

"Oh yes, he did. But that was only when he remembered that he had a daughter. Marrying without his permission would have reminded him, I suspect."

"Marrying a much older, very poor werewolf would upset any father, angel."

Edwina rested her head absently on his shoulder. "You are at pains to remind me of that. I think that I have got it by now."

Remus looked down at the shiny, dark-haired head that was resting against his chest and smiled ruefully, without answering. He ran his hand along her back lightly until she spoke again. "I think you are right that there are excellent reasons why marrying you was an illogical, silly sort of thing to do. But weren't there even better reasons why it wasn't?"

"That depends on one's priorities, doesn't it?"

"Yes, and I think that friendship, family, and love are the most important things. I think you do too, don't you?"

"Yes, absolutely."