Recall

By Lumendea

Chapter Twenty: Recalled by the Fourth IV

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of the spinoff material, and I gain no income from this story, just the satisfaction of playing with the characters.

….

While there was no true morning in the Time Vortex, the Doctor, through force of habit with his human companions, did possess a clear sense of morning. While he rarely slept, his mind counted out the seconds, minutes, and hours after companions went to bed to get some sleep and associated that time with the notion of 'night.' Sarah Jane had a love of seeing new things, but when she started getting tired, her temper sharpened to a fine Toledo Steel point, so while being back on a functioning TARDIS made the Doctor want to run, he respected the need for humans to rest. With Gaia onboard, that need extended to little Gallifreyans as well.

So, he had spent the night doing some repairs to the TARDIS. He still didn't completely trust that the Time Lords had restored everything. It gave him time to think. More than he should. When Gaia wasn't present on the TARDIS, it was easier to ignore her existence. She didn't exist yet and also did. His little living time loop. But her not being present meant that he could put that knowledge in a dusty corner of his mind until he saw her next.

Sarah Jane was getting twitchy with Gaia around when they returned to the TARDIS in the evening. The Doctor shouldn't have found that so funny, but he did. Sarah had vanished to her room last night to sleep, firmly closing the door behind her. Gaia had been sweet and adorable and a little viper. He pretended that he hadn't noticed, but Gaia had switched from being offended at the very notion of Sarah Jane not liking her to peppering the woman with questions about her job, her home era, her favourite music, and dozens of seemingly random questions.

The Doctor might have been willing to believe it was all innocent curiosity if not for the gleeful amusement buzzing in Gaia's head. She truly seemed to regard Sarah's unease around children as something funny. He wondered if Sarah Jane had children in the future after all, and Gaia knew it. That would explain some of her reactions.

Nonetheless, it had been a good day, and the Doctor had taken them back into the Time Vortex for the night. Eventually, gradually, after two rounds of a board game that Gaia dug out from a cupboard that had been unfamiliar to both him and Sarah Jane, Gaia had started to become drowsy. That was when Sarah had made her escape.

Part of him thought she might be correct. There was really no point in her getting attached to Gaia. Even if he was right that Gaia would know Sarah Jane in the future, which was a strange notion, it would be years. During that time, Sarah Jane would miss her if she grew attached. Like he did. The Doctor hated it, but the warm love he always felt from Gaia didn't give him much of a choice. It was more than an instinct to keep his young alive. Gaia, for lack of a better description, felt right to him.

And part of the Doctor hated it. Survival instincts that he'd refined over his years of travel warned him off, but the connection between him and Gaia was stronger. In the quiet moments when she was sleeping, the Doctor found these two sets of instincts at war. While he enjoyed his life amongst the stars, it hadn't been very kind to him. Things went wrong, and he too often saw good people die in terrible ways. He was grateful, in a horrible way, for those who had left him to lead peaceful lives.

He wasn't certain what his future would bring, but Gaia's presence revealed a few things. He was fairly certain that Gaia was familiar with Sarah Jane. The notion of bringing the child around to visit his old friends was… both unsettling and pleasing. On the one hand, he didn't like to look back too often. His lifespan, compared to that of his human friends, made it dangerous. Too many visits and he'd run out of days where it was even possible to visit.

Sometimes the Doctor rather imagined he was Peter Pan. The adventures were fine and lovely for a while, but eventually, his companions left to grow up. They returned to their homes to see to their educations, jobs, marriages, and anything other than their adventures. He did his best not to resent it, but it was becoming difficult. He'd been fond of Liz, and she's just left without even speaking to him. Jo had been a surprisingly good assistant for him and, for all her fierce loyalty, had left him to marry a man she'd only met a couple of days earlier. Jamie and Zoe… it was better not to even think about them. At least he did trust that the Time Lords had returned them to their own times, even without much of their memories. Going to see them without them remembering the bulk of their histories together would be painful.

Who was he in the future? The Doctor had watched Gaia carefully braid her long ginger hair in preparation for bed with that dangerous question burning inside of him. It was all rather frightening. As much as he adored Gaia, he was grateful that he wasn't the incarnation that needed to worry about settling down to bring her into existence. He wasn't ready for that. Once the little girl had heard her story and settled in to sleep, the Doctor had retreated to the console room to work and think.

Why would Sarah Jane leave eventually? She would. He'd known that from the moment she expressed her determination to travel with him. They all did. Gaia might even know. It was horribly tempting and absolutely out of the question. And what of Gaia herself? They had a much warmer relationship than he'd had with his first family, but someday even she would go off to the Academy and likely unlearn everything worthwhile that he taught her. Gaia was roughly six now. If the Academy still took children at the age of physically eight, then his future self didn't have much longer. Or would he deny Gaia the opportunity to study at the Academy?

Grumbling to himself, the Doctor shifted out from under the console and grabbed his hat. The TARDIS was still quiet. He wanted both Sarah Jane and Gaia to wake up. He needed the distraction. Pacing a little, he double-checked the controls and their position in the Time Vortex. At this point, he probably should set them down on a safe planet to wait for his older counterpart. Grumbling to himself, the Doctor shoved down the messy emotions and worries dancing in his mind and set the controls. All of those were issues for the future.

Heading for the galley, the Doctor washed off his hands and focused on the hum of the TARDIS. Little flickers of images and feelings from Gaia through their bond were distracting and informed him that the little girl was dreaming. He considered shielding his side of the bond as he'd done in the past but decided against it. Anyway, he checked his senses for how long Gaia had been in bed. She'd likely be up soon away.

He wasn't much of one for the kitchen in this life. Too many problems with the scarf and various appliances. And he hated taking it off. It was a part of this incarnation, and no matter how many times Sarah just sighed and told him to take it off, he didn't. You never knew when you might need a good long scarf for something. It had proven useful far too many times for the Doctor to ever be dismissive of it. No matter what Sarah Jane said. Still, there was a child to be fed, and he couldn't use berries and wild fruit again without Sarah Jane calling him out on it. So he pulled out a pan and some eggs after putting the kettle on to get things started.

Tea was ready when Sarah Jane came sweeping in. Her eyes checked over the room, and the Doctor watched her relax upon realizing that Gaia wasn't present. Unsure of how to take that, the Doctor let it go. Children weren't for everyone. Maybe when Gaia was a bit older, his future self would reintroduce them. Or maybe Sarah Jane would warm up to children in the future. He didn't know. He made a point of not looking at the futures of his companions while they travelled with him.

"Did you sleep at all?" Sarah Jane asked, making a beeline for the tea.

"No. Did some work on the TARDIS. You know that Time Lords don't need as much sleep as humans."

"Yes, but yesterday was rather tiring." Sarah poured herself some tea and made it up the way she liked. "I didn't know you cooked."

"I don't very often," the Doctor admitted. "My last body had more flare for it, but it seems this one can manage."

Sarah Jane shook her head a little, the way she always did when he was casual regarding his regeneration. He didn't blame her; it was the sort of thing that was very strange to humans. A change in his bond with Gaia drew the Doctor's attention, and he smiled. He had timed everything about right, it seemed.

Gaia was six now. The Doctor had been created at that physical stage and surrounded by caregivers employed by the family. Did she need help getting ready? This was one of the problems with her jumping in and out of his life. It was impossible to keep real track of her personal care progress. Checking on the bond, the Doctor was happy to note that Gaia was happy and calm. There was no way to tell in detail what she was doing, so he decided to just wait and give it some time. If she needed help, she would let him know.

The Doctor finished the simple scrambled eggs and was beginning to wonder after Gaia when she walked into the galley. She was still dressed in the pyjamas that the TARDIS had provided for her though her long ginger hair had been brushed out and rebraided. The braid was a bit messy, but it wasn't bad and spoke well of her coordination. Judging from the hint of soap in the air, Gaia had also washed up. Oddly enough, the girl's success with even such simple acts made the Doctor feel oddly choked up. She was growing up very quickly.

Were they going to send her to the Academy? He wasn't sure. It didn't seem like a good idea, given his own history. But if he didn't, then she'd have no chance to become a Time Lady and regenerate in the future. Given the way Gaia spoke of the Laws of Time, they were probably preparing her for the Academy. He desperately hoped that it didn't ruin her.

"You made breakfast!" Gaia said excitedly. She tilted her head and looked at him curiously. "What's wrong, Daddy?"

"Nothing, just woolgathering," the Doctor said quickly. He pushed his worries down. This wasn't the time. No, there was never a good time. Far better to focus on Gaia and enjoy his time with Sarah Jane rather than worrying about the future. "Take a seat.

Gaia did as she was told, and the Doctor brought the eggs to the table. Sarah Jane decided to help by pulling out plates and forks. It was simple, but he had managed it without giving any room for either Sarah Jane or Gaia to tease him. That was a victory right there. One had to choose their victories. As he ate, he glanced toward Gaia and tried to come up with ideas of where to take her. Not Earth. He didn't need her accidentally revealing more of her knowledge of the planet to him. Somewhere else that was safe.

"No sign of your father yet," the Doctor said easily. They all sat down to eat, and his statement made Sarah Jane blink in surprise. "Is there somewhere that you would like to go, Gaia?"

His future child pressed her lips together thoughtfully as if considering a deeply important question. He watched the sharp intelligence flare in her eyes as she ran through the possibilities.

"What about Freya?" Gaia suggested. "I heard from some kids I played with at a festival last year that it's a nice planet."

"Freya is a nice planet," the Doctor agreed. He grinned at the suggestion. Freya was a very beautiful planet with plenty of festivals to visit while also being an incredibly safe planet. It was also the sort of planet that would be a good place to wait for his future self. "We'll head there after breakfast, and you're dressed. The TARDIS should have your things clean."

Gaia nodded happily and tucked into her eggs. It was a quiet affair, with everyone already thinking about the day ahead. Sarah Jane stayed seated at the table, watching with an amused expression as Gaia helped the Doctor clean up once they were finished. The Doctor felt he behaved rather well by not sticking his tongue out at Sarah Jane. Domestic might not be his usual speed, and he wasn't eager to embrace it, but for Gaia's sake, he could manage it for a little longer. His future self usually showed up in a day or so.

"Thank you for the help, Sarah," the Doctor said dryly as he used a towel to dry his hands. He did flick some water at Sarah Jane before he did so, though.

Sarah laughed at him and grinned. "Just observing the Doctor as Daddy." An odd expression crossed her face, and Sarah Jane shook her head. "No offence, I'm struggling to wrap my head around this situation. I can't imagine someone you'll care about out of order like that."

"It is complicated," the Doctor agreed. "The risk of it is one of the reasons most Time Lords don't travel outside of official business. Temporal loops are a touch messy by nature." He shrugged. "But… well, Gaia makes it as easy as she can. I know she has another parent due to things she's said and revealed, but Gaia is very careful. As long as I don't know about her mother in detail, I maintain a certain level of freedom to guide my future."

Sarah Jane shook her head again. "I think I understand what you're saying, but it just makes me thankful I'll never have to deal with something like that. Not sure I'd want to know my own future."

"Human culture and stories seem to agree," the Doctor said. "Stories where a human learns their future usually destroy them." He shrugged. "But I'm not human."

"No, no, you're a Time Lord!" Sarah Jane said dramatically. "Come on then. Best not to leave Gaia alone for too long. She's tall enough to reach some of the TARDIS controls."

That was a very good point from Sarah Jane, and the Doctor hurried out of the galley to track down his future offspring before she grew too bored. Thankfully, she was still dressing, and he beat her to the TARDIS console room. He ignored a laugh from Sarah Jane as she followed him into the room. With a grin, he began to set the coordinates for Freya as his excitement began to grow. Freya was a good sort of place to take Gaia. A vivid but child-friendly culture, good food, and interesting people.

They landed with a soft thump, and the Doctor turned on the view screen. Sarah Jane drummed her fingers on the console before a landscape of rolling hills with bluish grass appeared, and then she started to smile. There was a small city tucked inside a long valley just below the TARDIS. Not a long walk, and the Doctor could see hints of decorations on the buildings. He'd gotten things right.

Except… he was also feeling a subtle telepathic contact. A knock on the door made Sarah Jane jump and drew a sigh from the Doctor. For a moment, he entertained the idea of ignoring it and taking the TARDIS somewhere else, but it would do no good. His future self would remember where they ended up.

"It seems that no one can avoid the future forever. Change of plans, Sarah," the Doctor grumbled. Sarah Jane blinked in confusion, but he ignored her for a moment. "Gaia!" he called into the corridor off the console room. "I believe that your father has arrived."

"A future you is here?" Sarah Jane asked. She was already inching towards the door. "Can you meet him or-"

"Huh? Oh, yes, I've met him in the past. That's the trouble with time travel; you often become aware of your future terrible fashion sense."

"I'm not sure that you can talk." Sarah Jane laughed and was standing close to the doors when they swung open. With a beaming smile, she took in the new arrival and greeted him. "Hello, Doctor."

"Hello, Sarah."

The Doctor turned to glance at his future self. The man hadn't changed his appearance at all, except for the jumper. Given Gaia's age, he must have been in the body for at least a few years. Normally, they change something at least a little over the years in a body just to freshen things up a bit. This one seemed very happy to remain unchanged. Maybe he shouldn't read into that, but it was curious.

The Doctor studied his future self. His last incarnation had quietly hated the leather coat and boots, but he thought they were rather practical. They did tend to need to run a great deal. Could use a bit more colour than just the jumper, in his opinion, but he wasn't going to start an argument about it in front of Gaia.

"Everything sorted?" he asked politely. Part of him was hoping that his future self might let something slip.

"Yes." That was the only answer he got. The older fellow looked a touch amused. "Thanks for looking after her."

"Well, Benton and the Brigadier were very happy to see her again."

"Yes," Sarah Jane said pointedly, walking over to join him. "It was an interesting way of finding out that you're a father."

"Well, now you know," the Doctor replied calmly as his future self watched them with amusement. "Gaia," he called again. Holding back a sigh, the Doctor glanced back at his future self, who crossed his arms.

"Gaia!" His older self bellowed. "Come on, love!"

There was a squeal from the corridor, and Gaia came running out. Her hair was coming loose from its braid, and the Doctor was a touch suspicious about what the girl had been getting into. She was dressed in slightly too-large clothing and wearing a floppy hat made of purple armathi grass.

"Hi, Daddy!" Gaia grinned at them both and hurried forward to hug her father.

"Playing in the wardrobe room?" His older self asked with the air of a man who was used to it.

"I did get a little distracted," Gaia admitted.

Sarah Jane laughed. "I suppose some things are universal for children."

"So, it seems," the older Doctor agreed as he scooped up his daughter and held her in his arms. "At least until she starts reciting the Laws of Time."

"Thankfully, that wasn't necessary this time," the Doctor said easily. "It was a calm visit." He wasn't sure why he was saying that, as the older incarnation of him clearly remembered enough to find them. "She behaved herself."

Gaia beamed as if she'd been given a prize, and the Doctor held back his laughter. Nonetheless, he smiled as his counterpart set Gaia back on her feet. The little girl hurried over to him as he dropped to his knees. He happily accepted the offered hug, holding the little girl tightly enough to feel her double heartbeat. It had been such a long time since he'd been to Gallifrey or been around another of his species. He truly hoped that Gaia going to the Academy wouldn't completely ruin the child.

"Do take care of yourself, my dear," the Doctor said gently. He was a bit disappointed that he wouldn't be able to explore Freya with Gaia. At least, not yet. "Have a good day with your father."

"I will," Gaia promised. She kissed his cheek and sent a rush of warm affection rolling over their link. "Love you, Daddy." Thankfully before he could turn into a blubbering mess, Gaia skipped over to Sarah Jane.

"It was nice to meet you, Gaia," Sarah Jane said politely. She was smiling a little but held her hand out for Gaia to shake. The Doctor nearly laughed.

"Alright," his older self said. "Come on, Gaia. There's a festival about to start."

The Doctor took the meaning loud of clear. It was time for him to be gone. He wanted to snap at his future self, an odd sense of being powerless rising in him. When would he see Gaia again? Was she going to the Academy? Would it change her or grind her down as it had so many others? But his future self merely scooped up the six-year-old and headed for the door. Gaia waved to them over her father's shoulder, her grass hat nearly falling off as she squirmed. Then they were gone, leaving a heavy silence in their wake.

"Are you alright?" Sarah Jane asked. There was an unusual gentleness in her voice. That was the problem with travelling with a journalist; noticing things and people's reactions was literally Sarah Jane's job. "It's okay to miss her."

"I'm aware," he said. The Doctor barely kept his voice from getting too sharp. "She's very pleasant to have around, my little Gaia, but I am in no way ready for full-time fatherhood." That was true, even if his hearts had a little trouble accepting it. "Well, Sarah, what do you think? Past or future? Earth or alien?"

"Future," Sarah Jane decided with a growing smile. "Alien."

"Hardly narrows it down," the Doctor signed dramatically. Then he smiled. "Let's see, pick a colour for the sky."

"Green."

"Green it is!"

The Doctor began to input coordinates into the TARDIS with a widening smile. Back to the wandering adventures. Gaia was the future, something to look forward to, but there was no reason to be in a hurry.