Hey guys, this is just a note from your friendly neighborhood authoress, Abigail-Nicole, wanting to let things know how you're doing. Er. I mean, let you know how things are going.
It had been so long since I bothered to search my attic for newspapers and type them up to share with the world that my friends started bugging me. "NICOLE, when are you EVER going to update the Oracle!?" she begged me, half-shrieking, half-screaming. "You HAVE to update it!"
"I know!" I cried pietously. So, as an incentive to make me type up their adventures, I brought James, Sirius, Moony, Alice, and the Lioness to my house.
Big. Mistake.
I'm being driven insane. They fight all the time. My friend got Moony addicted to Halo and Halo 2, and now he's refusing to write his column until he's beaten the game. And he SUCKS at playing the game. Sirius is incorrigible. He stays up until one a.m. playing Halo with Moony, then gets up the next day just in time to watch The Young and the Restless. Yes, beloved readers, Sirius Black wakes up every morning and watches The Young and the Restless. He's started a fight with Alice, wanting her job instead so he can write about the plights of the characters, but I had to put my foot down.
And if anyone is familiar with the Wheel of Time? Yep, beloved Sirius has read that as well. And quotes that obnoxiously, so the rip-off of Callandor in the title comes from his influence as well.
And as for Alice? She irks me. Ceaselessly. As in begging for every shred of gossip I can give her, constantly pairing me up with my friends, and finally getting to the point that I've made her play Halo with Moony, who lept at this chance to destroy a newbie to the game.
James, don't get me started on James. I live, conveniently, on a lake. When he's not flying his broom over the lake at top speeds, screaming: "TORNADOS FOREVVVVEEEERRRRR!" or playing Halo with Moony (they all do), he's watching The OC. Which I, desite the craze, am not that fond of. And The West Wing, which is tolerable. But when he turned on Desperate Housewives, I took away his TV priveleges for a month--so now he's converting my friends so they'll tape the OC for him.
You guys only think you love the Marauders.If Peter were here, they'd burn down my house in five minutes flat. And if Lily were here? She'd probably never get a moment to herself.
The Lioness, whom many have guessed, I will not reveal here. She is rarely active in the many pranks Sirius and James like to play (Moony being too video-game-obsessed), but the ideas spring from her, I know it. She's the only calm one of the bunch--to me. She watches The West Wing obsessively, like the rest of us, but instead of spending all her time in front of the TV with the Marauders she actually cooks. She has tons of things written for her column, of course, but I have to wait on Moony and Sirius before I can type up the next one. And Moony's driving me insane.
deep breath
So.
You want em? You can have em. I just hope the final chapters will be out soon.