Disclaimer: If I owned TT, would I be putting a disclaimer?

Yay, chapter four! I need Doritos!

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Beast Boy was aware of the distinct feeling of someone near him.

"Azerath, Metrion, Zinthos."

His eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly. Raven was sitting on the sofa beside him, cross-legged, her eyes closed. She was chanting softly. At his movement she stopped and looked at him.

"Made it through the night, huh?" she asked, closing her eyes again. There were dark circles under her eyes and it was obvious that she had not slept last night. BB didn't answer her sarcastic question.

"Have you been sitting there all night?" he asked instead. His own voice sounded soft and sad even to himself. Raven nodded swiftly without opening her eyes. She had been sitting there, meditating quietly all night? "Why?"

"To make sure you wouldn't try that again, that's why," she said plainly, beginning to chant once more. So she had sat over him the entire night like a dark, silent guardian angel. She stopped her chanting. "And you'd better not."

BB watched her in silence for a moment. He had burdened her greatly, though sitting her all night had been her own choice. She had truly felt concern for her teammate. Despite this, he felt no better. These negative feelings reminded him of what had happened, and a wave of unpleasant emotions flooded through his stomach. The sad, sick feeling he had been fighting until he fell asleep had returned with consciousness. He hated it. The temporary release of sleep hadn't been good enough. The despair was still there. He couldn't exactly talk himself into believing that he was glad he was still alive. He was no good at lying to himself. His heart felt sick once more.

"Um, Raven?" he asked after a while.

"Yes?" she asked without opening her eyes.

"Do you know what it's like? To just feel like you don't want to be alive anymore?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes," she answered bluntly, eyes still closed. "You don't know what it's like, to have all these emotions that want to get out, and know you can never indulge, or terrible things will happen. It gets pretty unpleasant."

"So, that's all emotions that would do that?" BB asked curiously. Listening to her was taking his mind off of the misery, at least briefly.

"Yes, but I'm not sure to what extent all of them would go. Rage, I know for sure, would probably destroy everyone I cared for. I'd rather not find out about all of them. Fear has some pretty unpleasant consequences, as you've seen before."

"I've seen you angry before," BB said, shrugging.

"That's not the same thing. I wasn't angry to the point where….." BB thought he saw a shiver go through her. Something desperate seemed to linger for a moment after she said this.

"Where is everybody?" he asked, changing the subject. Raven gave a light shrug.

"My guess would be the kitchen," she muttered, opening her eyes again. BB nodded and pulled his knees up to his chest, embracing them. He stared ahead at nothing in particular. Raven glanced over at him. There was a very mournful look on his face, and in his eyes, there was something that wasn't ordinarily there. A look of complete and utter despair and misery. He looked as though he might burst into tears at any moment.

"Are you….alright?" she asked cautiously. Beast Boy nodded, but it very obvious that he was only attempting to prevent her from worrying. "You're sure?" Raven asked, implying the fact that she knew he was lying. He shook his head in reply.

"Beast Boy," said Starfire from somewhere nearby. He looked up and saw her standing slightly behind Robin in the doorway. "You are feeling….better this morning?"

"Yeah, we were all worried. Are you OK?" Robin asked. Beast Boy just stared for a moment and shook his head very slightly.

"Where's Cyborg?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Kitchen," Robin answered, clearly reluctant to give up the subject of his friend's well-being, but seeing BB's aversion for the topic, he moved on. "Making breakfast." he and Star walked over and sat down on the sofa.

"He is making tofu eggs," Star said persuasively.

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!" Cyborg said, sticking his head into the room. "Hope you're feeling up to eating this morning BB!"

"Actually I…I'm not really hungry," Beast Boy said sheepishly. "Sorry Cyborg."

"Oh come on man, I made all this tofu!" Cyborg said in exasperation.

"Don't push him," Raven said warningly. Cyborg nodded.

"But what am I supposed to do with all this tofu?" he asked, throwing up his hands as he headed back toward the kitchen. "I'm gonna make some waffles!" he said in defeat.

"Uh….I'll help you Cyborg," Robin said, standing up quickly.

"I wish to assist you also," Star said, following Robin and Cyborg out of the room. Beast Boy felt a surge of guilt when he realized that he was glad they were gone. It felt better for some reason to have less people around him. Being with his friends wasn't giving him that warm feeling it usually did (A/N: C'mon, you know that feeling).

"Thanks Raven," Beast Boy muttered under his breath. Raven nodded faintly.

"No problem," she muttered.

"How come you're being so nice to me?" BB asked her inquisitively, still speaking to his knees.

"What do you mean?" Raven questioned. Beast Boy shrugged.

"You're not usually….well….exactly….you know…..nice to me. You'd usually rather that I wasn't around, and when I am you usually….kind of snap at me," he answered sheepishly. Raven lowered her eyes for a moment, as though feeling guilty.

"I guess….well, you know when you have something, you don't really think much of it. But then, at the prospect of that thing disappearing forever, you start to feel a little differently," Raven said. Beast Boy nodded and she continued. "I suppose at the thought of losing you, I realized I really do care about you more than I show. Jesus, when I saw you lying there bleeding….to be honest it really scared the shit out of me. I was so afraid you were already….or that you were going to……" she couldn't quite bring herself to say the word 'die'.

Beast Boy was a bit in awe at the fact that she had been afraid, especially because she thought he was going to die.

"I never really thought you cared," he admitted.

"I'm sorry," Raven said quietly. Beast Boy just looked at her for a moment.

"Dammit Raven, what is there for you to be sorry for? You didn't do anything," he said.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you," she said, looking blankly out the window at the water. "You never did anything to deserve me constantly being a bitch." and then she stood up, her apologetic manner disappearing and her normal one coming back. "I'm going to get some tea," she said. "Will you come with me? I'm not leaving you here by yourself, even if for only a few minutes."

Beast Boy nodded obediently and slowly followed her retreating back out of the room.

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Gawd, that took a while to write. I kept getting distracted. I'll get the next chapter done sooner.