Chapter 19

"I think you've had more than enough time to answer him, Winnie, really. What are you so afraid of? He didn't come charging in here to forcibly drag you away or do anything mad like that. I think he's been sort of a girl about it, don't you?"

Sophie snorted at Elspeth's words and added, "He has really. I can not believe he hasn't tried to do anything other than send you that letter."

"I did write him. I wrote him the day after you two first visited."

"Yes, you wrote him a silly, useless little letter. You didn't really tell him anything, did you? And what did you say in response to that letter he sent you two weeks ago? Nothing at all, in fact. I never thought you were such a coward, Winnie."

Elspeth looked nervously at Sophie and then turned to Edwina, "Tell us what you are worried about, dear. Is there something we don't know?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure. I feel like I have no control over my emotions. I felt that way when I was at his house, too. I didn't just want him to talk to me or even kiss me, which was as far as my thoughts went at school. I kept having such deep feelings for him but I don't even know him yet. That last week I was there in the cottage I could feel myself wanting so much more and just aching because he was so distant and unapproachable. He said it was because he didn't want to upset me, but I don't think that's really the reason. He's awfully angry about something and that is what is making him keep away."

Neither Sophie nor Elspeth said anything to Edwina. They were watching her pace the floor of her room, her hands gripped tightly as tears started to fall down her cheeks. Elspeth thought that she had never seen Edwina look so utterly lost before.

"I should let you see that ridiculous letter he gave me. You can see how angry he is. I don't know what to do. What do I say if he won't tell me?"

"Are you sure he isn't angry because you left him? That's a pretty normal reaction, I should think."

"I'm sure he is. I handled it badly, too. I ought to have waited to talk to him and not just fled like a baby. But it is more than that. Here, let me get the stupid thing and you can read it."

Elspeth watched her friend as Edwina jerked open the top drawer of a small white desk and pulled out a fist full of papers. Edwina held out two crumpled sheets of parchment to Sophie and then dropped the rest of the papers in the desk drawer, which she knocked shut with the back of her hand.

With a very serious expression Sophie began to read the letter, as Elspeth moved over to comfort her obviously distraught friend who had begun to cry softly. As she wrapped an arm around Edwina, Elspeth watched Sophie's facial expressions and could tell that Sophie was not amused about something.

"Why do you think this is ridiculous, Winnie? Lupin is quite remarkably calm and reasonable in this letter. If I'd run off with only a little note to explain myself, Thom would have written me a howler to remember! Well, he would if he were a wizard, I mean."

Elspeth reached out her hand for the letter and moved over on the bed away from Edwina so that she could read it. Lupin had clearly been in a cold fury when he wrote it, but what he said was not unkind. Elspeth had to agree with Lupin that hiding from each other was childish. She also thought that his request was very reasonable. "Darling, you must write him back. It isn't right to treat him this way. No one deserves to be ignored like this."

Sophie looked at Edwina with a hard expression and said primly, "Do you really want the father of your child to hate you? However much he loves you now, if you continue acting like this then that love won't last. If you can't think of him then think of the child and what sort of future you are setting up for him or her."

Edwina sat up straight on the bed and looked at Sophie with a strange, arrested expression in her eyes. "You're right. When did I become so selfish?"

"I don't know, Winnie. You never used to be."

"I don't want him to stop loving me."

Elspeth interjected, "Is that because you love him, dear?"

"I don't know. I can't really love him already, can I?"

Sophie answered, "That is what we asked you last time, but you swore that you were in love with him after one conversation in a bookstore or something. At least this time you spent a week with him."

Elspeth cautiously added, "You aren't exactly acting like you love him, Winnie."

Edwina clenched her fists and stood up from the bed. "I know. I have no idea who I have been these last few weeks. I have to write that letter."

"Do you want us to leave you alone?"

"No, please, won't you stay?"

Elspeth replied soothingly, "Of course."

Sophie pulled the letter over to her from where Elspeth had laid it on the frilly pink eiderdown. After quickly looking at the final paragraph she asked, "Do you have any stamps, Winnie?"

"Stamps? Are those the sticky things?"

"Yes. You will need one to send this to him, you know."

Elspeth asked curiously, "Why?"

Sophie rolled her eyes and replied in an exasperated tone, "Because it says he is untraceable, so she'll have to send the letter via muggle post to some place in Wednesbury. Didn't you read it?"

"I did, but how am I supposed to know what that means?"

"Honestly, didn't you pay any attention in Muggle Studies? You purebloods are hopeless sometimes."

Edwina responded absently as she opened the blotter and pulled out a gilded blue glass bottle of ink from the desk drawer, "But we never use them."

Elspeth added, "But dear, muggle things are so complicated. I don't know how you lot manage."

Sophie sighed and said, "It's alright. I'll take it with me and post it on the way home."

Finally. When she had not responded within three days he had set a deadline for himself - that afternoon's post - and she had just made it. He could not read her reply now because no matter what her response, he would be useless for work afterwards and he had over an hour left. He placed the letter on the desk and began walking purposefully away to begin his rounds.

Bugger his rounds. Remus ripped the end off the end of the envelope and spread out the paper in front him. His feverishly anxious eyes skimmed over the words. After ascertaining her answer, he read again more slowly to be sure.

She wanted to meet him for dinner in muggle London. That made no sense at all, since Edwina was completely unnerved whenever she had to navigate muggle society. He wondered where this place was. He would have to cast a locator because he didn't have time to faff around if he was going to meet her on time.

The letter sounded like she was really scared. Perhaps she was hoping that if they met in muggle London then she was safer, since they could not openly use magic. Remus leaned against the desk and tried to calm himself down. The anger he was feeling was enormous, but even worse was the desperation.

He knew that he looked grotty, but there was nothing he could do about it. She had said 7 and it was almost 6 and he had to get from Wednesbury to central Birmingham to London all in an hour. Sod it, he was leaving.