Disclaimer: NO!

Chapter thirteen! Yeah! I need to work on my other fics, but I'm on a roll with this one. Can't stop!

I watched the TT lost episode. I thought it was pretty funny, especially the end. That episode was so delightfully pointless. I wish it would have been longer.

"Please don't be afraid

As the darkness fades away

Dawn will break the silence

Of screaming in our minds

My love for you still grows

This I do for you

For I've tried to find the truth

In my final time"

-Evanescence

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It was another bright morning in Titans Tower. The sun was shining, Cyborg was making pancakes, and everyone was trying to convince Raven to accompany the group to the mall.

"Please, friend Raven, it would be very enjoyable! Perhaps we could even venture into the place of the arcade and watch Cyborg and Beast Boy engage in battle on the tiny screens!" Starfire said.

"No thanks," Raven said, not looking up from her book. She was sitting at the table reading, and Beast Boy couldn't help but wish that the more emotional side of her would show more often. She seemed like an entirely different person than she had been last night. She seemed like a mere corpse compared to the warm, protective person she had been last night. He wondered sometimes if maybe there were two Ravens; one that hung out most of the time and was the one that most people knew, and one that only showed up when Beast Boy really needed her.

"Oh come on Raven. They have pizza. You know you love pizza," Cyborg said.

"Yeah, and you know you wanna see me kick Cy's butt at video games, arcade style!" Beast Boy said with a grin.

Raven happened to be glancing up when he said that, and that grin almost made her completely and totally lose control over all of her motor functions and collapse onto the table. She hid this well, though.

"Super. An opportunity to see you make a fool of yourself in public. I think I'll pass. I see that enough here," she said. Beast Boy did not appear to be hurt by this comment. Now that he was back to normal, he bounced back at a rapid rate. He dropped to his knees.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease," he begged desperately, clasping his hands together and widening his eyes at her in what was very apparently a look of pleading. Raven sighed in disgust. It was irritating when he begged like this, never mind how she felt about him.

"Fine. I'll go just so you'll stop that," she said, giving him a warning glare. He got quickly to his feet, unable to hide his happiness even under the poison stare she was giving him.

"Awesome!" he said, clapping his hands together and looking like he was just seconds from dancing. "It's never the same without you."

The glare melted from her face at the sight of his grin and she turned her attention back to her book quickly before he saw her blushing.

XXX

Raven had always loathed the mall, with its bright lights, noisy crowds, and judging eyes. But as she walked in with her friends she tried to keep her mind off of these things and concentrate on the her goal: she was going to attempt to have some fun on this trip, as hard as it might be.

Naturally, the first stop was the small pizza place near the front doors. Everyone gorged themselves and then they headed for the arcade.

It had been almost an hour of challenges and flashing, beeping machines before Raven decided she couldn't take it anymore.

"I need to go," she said.

"Oh. Well, the bathroom is-"

"No, Beast Boy. I mean I need to go somewhere else. Tell them," she gestured to the others. Robin and Cyborg were playing a very loud video game and Starfire was cheering. "that I'll be back before they finish with this nonsense." she turned around to go. Beast Boy grabbed her arm, and she could feel her face starting to heat up a bit.

"Wait, can I come with you?" he asked, watching her intently for an answer. She shrugged. On one hand, it wouldn't be exactly a treat dragging Beast Boy along with her wherever she was going to go. But on the other hand, she really did enjoy his company, more indeed than she had in the past.

"Sure," she said, almost surprising herself with this answer. Beast Boy seemed slightly surprised too, and it took him a moment to follow as she walked out of the arcade. He practically had to jog to catch up. Raven walked in silence for a moment, very conscious of Beast Boy bouncing along beside her. "Why would you want to come with me, anyway?" she asked finally. Beast Boy didn't really need to consider this.

"I'd rather come with you than stay there, I guess. I like being with you," he answered, prompting Raven to blush slightly. She certainly was setting a new record for blushing today. This disgusted her. Raven…she just plain didn't like to do things like blush, especially not when it was because Beast Boy said he liked to be with her. She prayed that he wouldn't notice the pink tinge in her cheeks. Obviously, he didn't.

"So, where are we going?" he asked. Raven didn't answer. She wasn't exactly sure.

"I don't know. Let's…go in here," she said, veering sideways into the nearest store, desperate to get her mind off of him. Anything to go back to normal thoughts.

The store was one Raven visited on occasions when she was dragged along to the mall. It was full of odd antiques and other things that you didn't see every day. The lights were dim and the place carried plenty of old and interesting books. In short, Raven felt more at home here. The atmosphere of the place was creepy, and Raven was almost positive that the rest of the Titans would have some pretty negative things to say about it.

Desperate to get her mind on something that did not involve Beast Boy's words that still echoed in her mind, she walked over to the nearest rack and started looking at the items it carried. Beast Boy came up beside her without her noticing and nearly scared her out of her skin when he spoke.

"What is this place?" he asked in a mixture of confusion and awe. "I mean geez, where do they find this stuff?"

"Everywhere," Raven answered, determined to keep her eyes on the rack. If she looked at him right now, she just might die. She just might come right out and tell him everything that she was feeling. The little nagging voice in the back of her mind reminded her that she had said she would try and embrace her emotions. 'I'll do it, I'll do it. Or at least sort them out. Just not right now.' she told it. She really didn't want to discover how she really felt when she was so near to him. She might lose her mind if she did that.

"Hey, Raven," said a slightly familiar voice. Raven looked up and saw the face of a girl with short spiked black hair standing behind the counter. She could recall vaguely having a couple of conversations with her the other times she had come into the store. Raven was barely able to get out a short greeting when the girl's eyes fell on Beast Boy. "Um, who's the freak?" she asked.

Raven bristled, a strange and defensive feeling rising inside her. "Leave him alone," she snapped coldly. "His name is Beast Boy and he is my friend."

"Whoa, calm down. I'm sorry," the girl said, holding out her hands in defense. Raven nodded.

"Forget it," she said. Beast Boy, who had been silent through this whole situation, was smiling fully at her when she looked at him. Raven seemed to liquefy inside all at once and couldn't help but smile back. There was a strange feeling between them, an attraction that both of them were aware of, something very deep and profound. It almost scared her. She needed to break this bond somehow before she went insane entirely. It felt like she would right now. It really did. This was madness. This was the most incredible feeling she had ever experienced in her life. It was an unrealistic high. She couldn't handle this right now.

"Whoo. I'm thirsty. You wanna go get a soda or something, Raven?" he asked, breaking the intense connection . Raven could have kissed him with gratitude. She felt more or less back to normal now.

"Yes," she said, surprising both of them with the eagerness in her voice. Beast Boy looked genuinely taken aback, but he was also happy that she was willing to do something with him, too.

"Who was that?" he asked as they exited the store. Raven shrugged.

"I talked to her a few times. People automatically think that means they have the right to make judgments on my friends," Raven said darkly as they walked on toward the food court.

"Thanks for sticking up for me back there," Beast Boy said, and she could tell that he meant it. "You've never really done anything like that before."

Raven didn't answer. She only nodded, and he decided to let that be good enough for him. Ever since he had discovered his feelings for Raven, he had been making small sacrifices. He was trying to be less irritating to her, he was trying to close his mouth when he sensed her get annoyed, and he tried desperately to understand her, to get some sort of a vague concept of what went on behind those violet eyes.

A few minutes later when they were settled at a table with sodas and surrounded by the irritating babble of other people, Beast Boy tried to think of something to say, something to talk about. He could think of nothing that he could talk about that might interest this beautiful, enigmatic girl who sat across the table from him with her deep purple eyes trained on the floor. She really was beautiful. He wondered why other guys never seemed to notice. Maybe it was because she was….'creepy', as he had said before. But now, he couldn't see how he could have possibly thought that. He could see nothing creepy about her now that he had gotten to know her a little better. People were afraid of what they couldn't understand, and automatically rejected things…or people….like Raven. It made Beast Boy angry. What the fuck was there to be afraid of? They didn't even know her. The injustice of the whole situation made him feel sick.

Raven seemed to sense him looking at her, and raised her eyes.

"So…." she muttered, swirling the straw around in her soda absentmindedly. "How are you?"

A pathetic attempt at conversation, yes, but Beast Boy noticed the significance in the fact that this was pretty much the first attempt she had made to actually talk to him that he could remember. It made him happy somewhere inside.

"Um…good," he said, surprised that he could actually say this when not very long ago he would have given anything to die. "What about you?"

"I'm…OK," Raven said, sounding like she had never really been asked that question before, much less given that answer. Beast Boy decided that maybe what she really needed was someone to make her think of herself more. She was so selfless. Raven sacrificed emotion, sacrificed her very happiness to keep others safe. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Not a very big smile, but any smile on Raven's face was a huge change. He still was full of wonder at how it transformed her whole face. And as he sat there, he was struck with a thought.

Beast Boy would do anything for Raven. He would die for her, he would rip out his own liver for her. He couldn't even imagine what his life would be like without her in it, he couldn't imagine surviving without her, and he couldn't imagine wanting to. Whenever Beast Boy was around Raven, everything else disappeared and she was all he could see, all he cared about. He could spend forever with Raven and never get tired of hearing that emotionless but wonderful voice making sarcastic comments over what he said and sighing in disgust at his jokes. He was pretty sure he would never get tired of endlessly going on and on, just struggling to see her smile. He couldn't even imagine wanting to give up his never ending quest to make her laugh, just for what it would bring if he succeeded. He would be content for hours just sitting there and watching her meditate. He didn't care what he was doing, just as long as he got the chance to be with her.

Hadn't Robin and anyone else he'd ever heard talk about it said that was what love felt like? Maybe this was how it felt to be in love. Maybe he loved her.

And the more he sat there staring determinedly into those violet eyes, the more he thought that it just might be true. If it wasn't, it had to be getting close. Almost dangerously close. It wasn't right. It wasn't safe. He wondered if this was how Raven felt. She felt these emotions, but she knew it wasn't right, and no matter how much she wanted to feel them she had to ignore them. He felt extremely close to her just then.

And he realized that you couldn't hide from emotion just because of the possible consequences. He couldn't change the way he felt about Raven. He would never be able to change it. He could accept his feelings, and accept her just the way she was. He didn't want her to change in any way for him. She was perfect just as she was. He could accept every little flaw, every thing that bothered him about her. Most people would want to change her, make her a different person and then want to be with her. He didn't need her to change. He wanted her just the way she was.

That was love.

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YAY! About time you figured that out, BB! I'll get the next chapter written as soon as I can figure something out.