Olivia didn't want to waste any time, but knew she needed to stop home to shower and change. She knew a hot shower would feel good after sleeping in a chair by Elliot's bed, plus her clothes had Elliot's blood on them. She stripped and got into the steaming water. Her eyes went to the blood stain on her shirt lying on the floor and it reminded her of what she lost. Standing under the steady stream of hot water the tears flowed again before turning to anger. She became even more determined to find the person that did this.

Walking into the precinct with new determination, her damp hair in clip, wearing leggings and a long sweater she announced that she wanted to be briefed on where they were with the case. She knew she wasn't dressed like a police captain, but she just lost her former partner and best friend. Surely they'd understand.

"Hey cap, how's Stabler?" Fin asked.

"He's gone." She replied. And I want to find the son of a bitch who killed him. She continued into her office.

Muncy, Velasco and Fin all stared at Olivia in shock. Fin got up and followed Olivia into her office.

"Liv, I'm sorry, we hadn't heard anything. When?"

"Earlier this morning." She sat down.

"I'm surprised nothing has gone out over the wire, usually by now everyone would know."

"He coded right in front of me. I literally watched Elliot die as they tried to shock him back to life. Finally the nurse escorted me to the family lounge and asked who she could call."

"Liv, don't worry, we'll get the bastard that did this. I promise you."

oooooooooooooooooooo

Elliot is racing down the hallway of the hospital, finally he gets to Kathy's room. Her and his newborn son are perfectly fine, all thanks to his partner Olivia. His mind then flashes to Olivia half dressed cuddling up next to him offering to allow two men pay to watch them together or pay more to partake. Next she was kissing Stuckey, saying how much she hates Elliot and wants him as her partner. Then he fixates on the night of the explosion, the two of them sitting in the family lounge and Olivia asking how he could just leave her. He was the single most important person in her life.

"Liv?" Finding his voice he calls out. It's soft and scratchy but Kathleen hears him.

"Dad, Daddy. I'm here. Olivia left but she'll be back."

"Tell her I'm sorry."

"I'll call her dad, you can tell her yourself. She'll be so happy to see you."

Kathleen kisses her father and quickly calls her siblings to let them know he's awake before she calls Olivia to tell her that her dad was asking for her.

Olivia is working diligently at her desk when her phone rings. She considers letting it go to voicemail, not wanting to break her concentration while going over leads, but she picks up when she sees it's Kathleen.

"Olivia,"

"It's me honey, how's everyone?"

"Liv, you didn't hear me calling you when you left earlier. You were in such a state when you left. I think you had the wrong idea when I found you in the family lounge. Liv, Dad's awake, he's asking for you."

"What…. How could you not tell me sooner? I thought we lost him." Tears of joy started to fall.

"You had been here all night with him, I thought maybe you'd go home and take some time for yourself. I'm sorry. But you need to come, dad really wants to see you."

Olivia grabs her bag and quickly shouts out an explanation as she runs out the door.

oooooooooooooooooooo

The moment his blue eyes meet her brown ones, relief washed over her. She was overcome with emotion. The frailty of life hitting her, every life threatening moment in their history flashing before her eyes. Sure he's been injured in the line of duty before, but this time she thought she actually lost him. In that moment they were the only two people in the room. She dropped her stuff and ran to his side, gathering his face in her hands. She gazed into his eyes, not saying a word, just searching before embracing his lips with hers

"I thought I lost you." She lovingly kissed his lips.

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere, you're stuck with me." His voice was still rough but she was happy to hear it."

"Still gonna deny there's anything going on between you two?"

"Mama!"

Olivia exhales the breath she feels like she's been holding since Elliot collapsed. Without taking her eyes off Elliot she responds. "We are trying to figure things out."

"Well nothing like getting shot to give you a little clarity."

"You're right Bernie. But it's not Elliot that needs the clarity." Olivia squeezes Elliott's hand. "If I'm going to do this, I want to do it right and there's a few layers to get through. But we are getting there."

"Nothing's worth doing if not doing it right. But hurry it up, life's too short and you both have been waiting long enough."

"Thanks ma."

Bernie was about to say more but the kids came back with coffee for everyone.

"We'll talk more later Olivia." She patted Olivia's shoulder as she crossed the room to get her coffee.

oooooooooooooooooooo

As the week progressed Elliot got stronger. He was able to move around his room, hoping to get out to stroll in the hallway soon. He was going stir crazy. Even though his body wasn't necessarily ready, mentally he was ready for more. He didn't like being idle. He especially didn't like being waited on.

Olivia walked in one evening as Kathleen, Maureen and Dickie were discussing where Elliot would go once he was discharged. Maureen was a teacher with two children at home, Kathleen and Dickie both didn't have vacation or sick time left to use, and Eli was in school, they were afraid Bernie couldn't help him alone. He would need rides to the doctor since he wouldn't be allowed to drive for a few weeks after surgery. Elliot was arguing with them that he didn't need around the clock care. He would be fine by himself.

Olivia offered a solution. "I have plenty of PTO, he can stay with me."

"Yeah, that's not happening." Elliot chimed in.

"El, it's my fault you're even here. I can take you to the doctor. I promise I won't wait on you hand and foot, I'll even let you cook for me." She laughed.

"I see, you want me around because you can't cook and I can. Now the truth comes out."

"Look, the kids can come and visit as they please and it would probably only be for the first couple weeks. Then you'll be more stable to be on your own."

Kathleen looked at Olivia," are you sure about this, what about Noah?"

"Noah will be fine with it. He will be in school all day anyway, and he'll probably like having me home for a change."

"Um, Liv…can I talk to you privately for a minute?"

"We can give you two a minute, we'll just be right outside." They hurried out the door, but stayed within ear shot.

"Olivia, I really think I would be more comfortable in my bed."

"El, I'm not going to make you sleep on the sofa if that's what you're thinking."

He raises his eyebrows at her, that smirk appearing on his face.

"And you're not sleeping in my bed either partner. Noah can sleep in the loft and you can have his room. Your activity will be limited when you come home, you'll have to be cleared for extra curricular activities. Including what you're thinking about." She leans down to kiss him again before calling the kids back in.

oooooooooooooooooooo

The day had finally arrived, the day they had both been anxiously awaiting. Olivia was thrilled Elliot was healthy enough to come home. She was also a little nervous as to how it would be living together. But ultimately she hoped it would bring them closer. Elliot too had his thoughts on his new living arrangements. He didn't like all the attention, or being waited on. He didn't want Olivia waiting on him. He was afraid living together 24/7 was going to hinder the progress in their "friends for now" relationship.

They walked into the quiet apartment, Noah would still be in school for a few more hours.

Elliot took a seat on the sofa as Olivia took his bag to Noah's room.

"Liv, are you sure you really want to do this? I can be a handful."

She returns with his bag of meds. "I know, I remember." She jokes.

The soft smile on her face, he misses seeing that smile every day. He saw it almost every day for twelve years. If not actually on her face, on her picture hanging on the precinct wall. Obviously in their line of work, smiles didn't grace them daily, but they had their jokes for when the days were heavy, they had their way of getting each other through the rough days.

"I think you're due for something now." Olivia hands Elliot a bottle of water.

"Thank you. So what's the plan for the rest of the day?" He asks as she sits next to him on the sofa.

"Well." She looks at her watch. "Noah should be home in about two hours. I know he's excited to see you. Then your kids and Bernie are all coming after dinner. Until then, just rest."

"Tell you what, I'll rest, as long as you rest here next to me."

So the afternoon passed with them laying at opposite ends of the couch, a blanket covering their legs that met in the middle. The comfort they had with each other was ever present.

oooooooooooooooooooo

No one would ever be able to tell that Noah was happy to have his mom home. It was a rarity to see Olivia Benson in the kitchen making dinner. Usually Lucy saved her a plate to warm up from whatever she made for her and Noah's dinner. Noah was bouncing between the kitchen and the family room peppering Elliot and Olivia with questions about their years together as partners.

"What was your least favorite part of your job?"

"Stakeouts!" They replied in unison laughing.

"But why, if you were best friends, wasn't it fun being with your best friend the whole time, just the two of you?"

"Well bud, we were working, so it was nice having my friend by my side, but we weren't there for fun. And it could be long and boring and a lot of overnights when everyone else was sleeping."

"Yeah, and Elliot would sit there drinking coffee all night to stay awake."

"What's wrong with that mom, you love coffee?"

"Not when you're sitting in a squad car all night with no bathroom. All right you two, time for dinner."

Noah offered to help Elliot to the table. The sight of her son helping him brought tears to her eyes. Seeing them forming a bond, she knew she had made the right decision by having him here. Hopefully it would bring them all closer.

"Can we do this again later, I like hearing your stories?"

"Stories will have to be another day, after dinner Elliot's family is coming, including Kieran and Seamus."

"Wow, mom's home, Elliot is here, and company. It almost feels like Christmas." Noah was not used to so much going on at home, he liked it, but didn't want to get used to it, a lot of people came in and out of his life.

oooooooooooooooooooo

After tucking Noah in and kissing him good night, Olivia poured herself a glass of wine and joined Elliot on the sofa.

"Noah loves having your family around. He always asked for siblings but…"

"He's a great kid, Liv. You're doing an amazing job with him."

"Sometimes I wonder." He sees tears fill her eyes. "If I do enough for him, if I'm here enough. You know, my schedule."

Elliot moves closer and rubs her shoulder.

"You told me he was adopted, that his mother was an addict and was killed. How did you get him? I want to hear about all the stuff I missed with you Liv."

Olivia took a sip of wine. "He had been bounced around foster homes and they couldn't find any family members for him. I went to every court appointment for him. The judge noticed and asked if I would be interested in fostering him, with the option to adopt after a year. Of course I said yes. She approved me as an emergency foster parent. I had to go through home inspections, psych evaluations, my peers were questioned and then just before we went to court a year later I found DNA that matched his father's when we arrested a sex trafficker. Johnny D tried to get custody, but he went crazy in court. He grabbed a court officer's gun and started shooting. My old partner Nick fired back, killing him. The adoption was finalized a few weeks later and Noah officially became Noah Porter Benson."

"I always knew you'd be a great mother. I'm so happy you got the chance to fulfill that dream. I know how much it hurt you when they denied you because they thought you couldn't provide a stable enough home life for a child. He's a smart, kind child who is thriving with you as his parent."

"He's my whole world." She took her last swallow of wine. "I think I'm going to call it a night. Can I help you with anything?"

"I'll be good, if maybe I can just get a hand up? I think I'm going to shower before bed."

They head off toward the bedrooms.

"Hey Liv, one more thing."

"What's that?"

He moves close to her. Their bodies so close Olivia can feel the electricity surging between them. She looks up into his sapphire blue eyes.

"Can I kiss you goodnight?"

Olivia leaned up, pressing her body against Elliot's. Their lips met in a long soft kiss. It wasn't rushed or hurried. It was intimate and even better than their first kiss.

Olivia pulled back. "Goodnight El, if you need anything, I'm just next door."

He wanted to tell her that he needed her in the shower with him. But that time would come. He needed to be a gentleman, she liked the gentleman, she deserved a gentleman.

"Goodnight my friend Olivia, my best friend."

Olivia washed her face and brushed her teeth. All while the water was running for Elliot's shower. Olivia imagined Elliot's naked body just on the other side of the wall. She started to fantasize about rubbing her hands all over his body, kissing his broad shoulders, working her way down his chest and even lower. Stroking him, pleasuring him. The water stopped, ending her fantasy, like she was afraid he would catch her in her thoughts. Shaking the thoughts from her head she changed into her pajamas and climbed into bed.

Leaning against the counter Olivia took a drink of water. That kiss wound her up and she needed a release. She left the glass in the sink and headed back to bed. Elliot heard her up and he met her in the hallway. Their eyes met, he brushed a piece of hair behind her ear, sending shockwaves through her body. He pushed her against the wall, invading her mouth with his tongue. She moaned softly, kissing him back. His hand went under her shirt to cup her breast, while he tended to a particular spot behind her ear. She reached into his pants, he was so hard against her, she cradled him in her hand, while slowly stroking him with the other. He moved his hand from her breasts to pleasure her another way. His finger slid between her slippery wet folds coating the area, paying special attention to her clit. Moaning, Olivia's head rolls back and forth along the wall.

"Oh El, oh please… don't stop!" She bites her bottom lip knowing she's going to cum any minute, and it feels so fucking good. Her moans get louder as pure ecstasy pulses through her body. Elliot covers her mouth with his trying to stifle the sounds coming from her. Her body is quivering after her explosive release. He picks her up and carries her to her bed.

He holds her hands above her head while sucking her nipples into firm peaks. He runs his tongue down her taut belly, he plants kisses on her inner thighs. He's teasing her, touching and kissing everywhere but where she wants him.

"El, I need you in me, I want to feel your hard cock fill me."

Elliot grabbed his cock and rubbed it against her folds. She was so aroused, so wet for him. He slipped inside her thrusting slowly at first. She pulled his mouth to hers, kissing him deeply. "Harder!" Elliot obliged her request by thrusting harder and faster. Her walls started to clench, "oh El, oh El, oh god!"

Beep, beep, beep beep, her alarm sounds. She groans. It was all just a dream.