June Birdie: I hope you got my email - it would be fine with me if you use my concept for your fic. I'm glad you liked it, and here is some more of sweetie Gawain. I sort of wanted to finish how she got started and how she ended up with Lancelot as her tutor.
Cardeia: I'm glad you were enthusiastic about that last chapter. I wasn't all that sure of it, it seemed a bit fluffy, especially coming off the Tristan chapter. Or maybe because of the Tristan chapter. I am starting to really like Gawain a lot, and I hope you like this next chapter because he continues to show what a great guy he is. I was sort of tempted to take the story in a "romance novel" type of direction myself, but I had to reign it in. It's sort of hard not to have her fall flat-out in love with this guy, because why wouldn't she?And Gawain obviously cares for her, so it could have gone that way. Maybe I'll do another one where the OC does get to live happily ever after with Gawain, and I'm very anxious to see your Gawain from Cerys at Knight end up happy. He deserves it.Anyway,I hope this chapter answers some questions left by the Lancelot one.
Anyway on to the next chapter.Thanks for reading:)
Gawain reluctantly took me back to the tavern, back to Strabo, the following morning. I had been worried about what would await me once my guardian found that I was no longer as I had been. But as frightened as I was about the consequences, I would not have given up my experience with Gawain for anything. It would give me a wonderful memory to look back upon, and I had the feeling that very few of my future lovers would compare to him.
My knees were like water as we walked over to the tavern. I wanted to run screaming, rather than return to that place but I knew that would be futile. Gawain had risked enough to help me; I would not make it more difficult for him by making him carry me back.
"You'll tell him I forced you," said Gawain.
I looked at him incredulously. "I could not say that," I said. "I would have no one thinking such a thing of you."
Gawain looked at me fondly. "No one whose opinion I care about would believe it anyway. But Strabo would, and he will hold you blameless for his loss of coin. If he thought you willingly cheated him out of his money he would make things very difficult for you."
I was silent, thinking about it. The story did not sit well with me.
"Go along with it – for me," Gawain said. "This is all I can do to help you. He can do little to me – he'll be angry, maybe make a formal complaint, but it will go nowhere."
He stopped and put his hands on my shoulders, looking earnestly into my eyes. "I would worry about you. Your life is going to be hard enough without incurring his enmity as well."
To ease his mind, I nodded my head in agreement. I just hoped no one would ask me for any details because I would not be able to carry the lie that far.
"You already know Vanora – you can go to her if you need anything. She will do what she can for you," Gawain said. "And I will watch over you as best I can, but I am afraid I can do little for you."
"You have done enough already, Gawain," I said. "What you gave me last night – I will carry it with me forever." I gave him what I hoped was an encouraging smile.
"I will also remember, little one," he said softly. "Thank you for the gift of yourself. I was honored that you chose me."
Tears sprang to my eyes. What a kind and wonderful man he was. I could fall in love with him; foolish as I knew it would be. He was a knight - his position far above mine, a mere peasant girl. That he had noticed my plight and cared to intervene had been beyond comprehension in itself. I gripped his hand tightly in thanks.
As we arrived at the tavern, he let go my hand. "It is unlikely that you would be holding the hand of a man who forced you only the night before," he said. "Let me do the talking. You can pretend to be too traumatized to speak if he asks you questions."
I nodded to him, and took a deep breath.
He opened the door and pushed me in ahead of him. "I return your ward to you, Strabo," he called out.
Strabo looked up from where he sat at a table, eating his breakfast. He was a large man, with the look of having been muscular in his younger years, but who now ran to fat. He had heavy jowls and looked like he should have been a merry man, unless you happened to look him in the eye. He had the coldest, meanest little eyes I had ever seen, gray like tiny pebbles and always taking the measure of people, looking for advantage.
"May I ask, Gawain, in what state you return her to me?" His huge size was belied by a high pitched, tiny voice, a voice which would make one laugh if one did not first take in his cold, deadly eyes.
Gawain ripped a piece of bread from a fresh loaf that was sitting upon Strabo's table, and popped it into his mouth. "Oh, she's quite spoiled," he said.
I saw the big man's jaw clench, and his eyes shifted over to me, as if he could discern my state with a glance. I had no trouble looking absolutely cowed and terrorized, and if the he assumed it to be because of Gawain, then so much the better.
"It appears that I am owed damages then," said Strabo. "You have cost me a tidy sum. Virgin girls are a rarity here, beautiful ones even more so."
"I have no problems paying damages. She was well worth it, for she put up a good fight," said Gawain. "Make your complaint to Arthur and I will pay whatever damages he deems fair."
Strabo chuckled, a cold and humorless sound that made the hair on the back of my neck raise. "Arthur, is it? And what good would that do me, for he would insist the damages be paid to the girl, and not to myself."
Gawain grabbed another piece of bread and shrugged. "Then you could appeal. He is my commanding officer, and whom the complaint must go to. That you would not like his ruling does not change protocol."
Strabo's mean little eyes grew even smaller if at all possible. "It all seems hardly worth the trouble." His eyes flicked over to me. "Ah, well. I'll start working her tonight. She will make up the difference on her back, turn the coin over to me until I am satisfied."
The older man patted his thigh. "Come here, girl," he said.
I walked uncertainly over to stand in front of him. "Sit," he said, again patting his thigh.
I did as he bade me, and his arm went around my waist, pulling me back against him. "Have you eaten, sweeting?" he crooned into my ear. I fought to keep from shivering with revulsion.
"No," I said softly.
"Open up," Strabo said, watching Gawain carefully. I obediently opened my mouth for the food he plucked from his plate and was startled when instead of merely feeding me, his finger entered my mouth. As he slid his finger out from between my lips, he made a noise of approval.
"How is she with her mouth, Gawain?" He looked at the knight. "Or did you make the attempt?"
Gawain maintained an unconcerned look on his face. "No, not this time."
Strabo nodded thoughtfully. "I'll show her what to do."
I felt a flush of panic. Though I yearned to run, I did not. However, I was unable to stop myself from shaking in fear.
The big man laughed. "See, how she trembles with desire already." He smiled at Gawain. "And since she is no longer untouched, I do not have to wait to have her. So, there is a bright side to everything."
He turned slightly to look behind him. "Ada!" He roared. "Take this one back to my room."
A woman came scurrying forward to do his bidding. Strabo's eyes flickered to Gawain. "Give her a bath first," he said to the woman.
It was as close as I ever heard him come to insulting one of the knights to their face. As I grew to know the man I realized that he must have been horribly angry with Gawain, for rarely was he ever anything but obsequious when speaking to the knights.
And unable to take out his frustration on Gawain, he would take it out on me.
As I was led from the room, I wished for nothing more than to run to the golden haired knight, to have him hold me in his arms. But I could not even look at him for fear I would burst into tears. And as he said, he could do nothing for me anyway.
As it was, I did not see Gawain for several weeks. I was otherwise occupied with Strabo that evening and the day after that, the knights were gone again.
Those few weeks were a dark time for me. I became quieter, kept my gaze downward. I had found that I did not enjoy the attentions of men and tried my hardest to avoid them. While I would not refuse a man, neither did I encourage them, to Strabo's great frustration.
I could serve drinks and was a good barmaid, but I had not been doing well at my other duties. Customers were displeased with my lack of skill and my reticence. Strabo had threatened to put me out on the street and I was terrified that he would do so. While being under his care was not wonderful, at least I had a roof over my head and food in my belly. If he turned me out I would then be one of those pitiful women forced to beg or sell themselves in the streets. Strabo was a great prize compared to the men that those poor women were forced to pleasure.
Gawain's return found me greatly changed. Though my heart leapt when I saw him enter the tavern, I was hesitant to approach him. I felt like a failure and was embarrassed for him to know how badly I was doing.
However, drinks needed to be served and Strabo sent me in particular to the knights' table to serve them.
Gawain looked up as I approached and after his initial look of happiness at seeing me his expression quickly turned dark. "Who hit you?" he said.
I had forgotten the fading bruises on my face.
"I…I don't know," I said. "It was just a man."
"Vanora!" Gawain called.
As the beautiful redhead came to the table, Gawain asked her who gave me my bruises.
"You know I won't tell you that, Gawain," she said. "He was made to pay extra, and that was the end of it."
"I wish to talk to him," he insisted.
"Talk?" asked Vanora with a raised eyebrow. "And what happens when you're gone and he decides to 'talk' to her? You can't protect her when you're not here."
Gawain sat back, still angry. "I know," he growled. "But I want it known that she is under my protection. You'll do that, won't you?"
Vanora nodded her head. "That I can do – it should help. And I wanted to talk to you about that anyway. She motioned us to another table, one where it was a little quieter and afforded some privacy. After we moved away from the other knights, Vanora began to speak.
"Strabo is ruining her. He's making her go to anybody with coin, and she's too inexperienced for most of them. And worse, he's talking about putting her out because of it."
I was uncomfortable with this conversation, for I hadn't wanted Gawain to know what a failure I was, and I didn't like being discussed as if I wasn't even there. Looking around, I saw Strabo watching me. I thought I'd better get moving before I incurred his wrath, and at the same time I could get away from this excruciating discussion. "Is there anything else I can get you?" I asked as I prepared to leave.
"You're done working for the night," said Gawain, holding out his hand. "Come, join me."
I looked at Vanora, uncertain if I could just stop working.
"It's alright," she said. "You may stop working if you are entertaining men at their table. If it gets busy, try to take a few moments to help the other girls out a little bit. Just make sure that the time spent at their table is profitable and you won't get in trouble." She looked at Gawain as she said this last.
In response he jingled his purse and smiled. At Gawain's insistence, I sat down on his lap. He looked at Vanora. "You were saying?"
"Most of the women who come here already know their way around a man. She doesn't, but Strabo expects her to perform as if she did. The soldier who gave her those bruises is known for certain preferences, and she should have never been sent to him unprepared as she was."
"What sort of preferences?" Gawains' voice was icy.
"Vanora, please!" I begged. "It's better forgotten." I didn't want Gawain to know what the man had done to me. He'd tried to take me in what I felt was an unnatural manner. Displeased by my unwillingness, he had beaten me and then forced me to it anyway. The whole episode had been sordid and I would take any beating rather than a repeat of that particular act, or even discussion of it.
Vanora looked at me. "It's not important, Gawain," she said. "What is important is that someone teach her what she needs to know. She'll never learn how to please a man if she's only ever sent to men who scare her witless and beat her."
Gawain clenched his jaw. "I take it you have a solution?" he asked.
Vanora nodded her head. "The knights could teach her. Except for Tristan. Or Bors, for that matter."
Gawain looked at her with a sly expression on his face. "Keeping that one to yourself, eh?" he smiled.
"Would YOU want Bors teaching her?" Vanora asked, rolling her eyes.
Gawain laughed. "Now that I think about it, no I wouldn't. A male Bors is bad enough, can't imagine a female one." His laughter died away as he considered Vanora's proposal. "But it's not a bad idea. Do you think Strabo will go along with it?"
"If you appeal to his sense of greed, he will." Vanora said.
"Me?" Gawain said. "It's your idea."
"Yes, but he'll never listen to me," Vanora replied. "You know how he is. Women are only good for one thing as far as he is concerned."
"So, how do I appeal to his sense of greed?" Gawain asked.
"Men want what is not easily obtainable. She has youth and beauty, and can command a higher price if she is more exclusive. Right now he sends her to any drunk with two coins to rub together. But if she becomes a favorite of the knights, and goes only to them and the higher ranking Romans, she can get as much from one customer as she gets in a whole evening right now."
I had been listening with interest, and this particularly appealed to me. Though I cared little for money, and Strabo got most of it anyway, I would be very interested in servicing fewer men.
Gawain looked at Vanora with admiration. "You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?"
"Not really," Vanora replied. "It's only common sense, something that Strabo is sadly lacking. He doesn't see past a single evening's profits. The hardest part is going to be convincing him to give her time to learn what she needs to know."
"I'll give it my best effort," Gawain said. "Though he no doubt bears me some ill will."
The conversation now over, Gawain rejoined the other knights and pulled me down upon his lap, where I spent the rest of the evening. At first I had been very stiff, unable to relax, but by the end of the night I was leaning against his chest, snuggled up against him while he played dice with the other knights.
When the evening was over, he took me to his room.I began to undress for him buthe stopped me. "I think you've had enough of that for a while," he said. "Just sleep tonight."
I protested, for he had already given me coin. I also knew that men liked to have the comfort of a woman and did not want Gawain to feel neglected. But he insisted, and I admit that I appreciated the consideration. I resolved to make it up to him later.
He left for a time, saying he wanted to speak with Strabo. I was certain that he was merely being kind, that he meant to find some female companionship before he returned to the cold bed he would share with me. While I felt a twinge of jealousy, I could not begrudge him a more capable partner.
When he returned, he took me in his arms and I curled up against him, feeling safe and warm.
"He agreed to Vanora's proposal," he said. "You'll be serving drinks but you don't have to service customers – at least for the next few weeks," he said.
"Not even Strabo?" I asked.
Gawain kissed the top of my head. "Not even Strabo," he said. He told me that he would be teaching me what he could, but that Lancelot would be tutoring me as well. Gawain trusted him, and the dark knight had a reputation with the ladies. Being tutored by him could only increase my worth, and Gawain thought that I would enjoy Lancelot.
It wasn't until much later that I found out how Gawain had gotten Strabo to agree to his proposal – he'd purchased my services for the next few weeks. Knowing Strabo, it was probably no small sum, and I'm certain that he received his precious damages as well. Gawain, being the man that he was, never did let me pay him back.
Upon hearing Gawain's news my eyes filled with tears of gratitude. He had done so much for me and I resolved to do my best to learn well and make him proud of me. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer. He softly told me that I did not have to show him my gratitude in that way.
It was not gratitude or duty that I felt, but the beginning of the closest thing to real love that I will probably ever know. I could never tell him how I felt, but I could show him. I looked in his eyes and stroked his face -with my lips and hands I told him how I felt. Assured that I reached for him because I wanted him, not out of obligation, he took me in his arms and once again, it was sweet.