Prowl was so engrossed in the report he was reading that he never noticed Jazz until he almost walked straight into him. Luckily for both mechs, Jazz was much more attentive.
"Hey Prowl." The saboteur waved.
"Hello Ja…what the!" Prowl did an abrupt double take and froze, door panels flung wide in surprise. There was a moment's stunned silence before the Datsun found his voice again. "Jazz… what are you doing?"
"Eh, you know me." Jazz shrugged. "Just hangin' around."
"Upside down?" Prowl queried, one optic ridge curved in a disbelieving expression.
"It wasn't my idea." The black and white huffed, crossing his arms. "Y' think y' can get me down? I ain't feelin' too hot." He asked plaintively.
"I'll see what I can do." Prowl promised, subspacing his datapad and paging Wheeljack and Hoist. He had a feeling he'd need some help.
It didn't take long for the two mechs to turn up, in which time Prowl located a ladder and set it up beside Jazz.
"…eh?" Wheeljack managed when he comprehended the Porsche's predicament. "You ok Jazz?" he asked.
"Not really." The inverted Jazz groaned. "I ain't built fer this. Oooh…" He made a strangled noise and clamped one hand over his mouth in an attempt to keep the contents of his fuel tank where it belonged.
"Well then, let's see about getting you down." Hoist said briskly. "Ah good, you already have a ladder. Now, if I could get one of you gentlemechs to steady the ladder, I shall examine whatever it is that is securing Jazz's feet to the ceiling."
Prowl held the ladder steady while the architect climbed up, with Wheeljack supporting Jazz's shoulders to ease the mech's discomfort.
"Do you know what it is?" Prowl called up to Hoist.
"Contact adhesive, and a potent concoction at that." Was the reply. Hoist climbed down and fished through his subspace pocket. "Fortunately, it is a common one, and I believe this solvent should take care of it." He handed Prowl a spray can. "Now, while you dissolve the solvent, I shall help catch Jazz."
"Understood."
The tactician ascended the ladder and started applying the solvent, Hoist moving to put his arms under Jazz's back while Wheeljack supported his shoulders. "So, any idea who did this?" Wheeljack asked.
"Fragged if I know." Jazz grumbled. "Was on my recharge berth, an' woke up here."
"Why didn't you radio someone?"
"Ol' Soundy fried it good yesterday, Ratchet still need t' fix it." He explained, holding up his wrist so that Wheeljack could see the electrical burns.
"I have one foot free." Prowl called down.
"Ok, bring it down." Hoist said. The foot came free with a schloop sound, Prowl slowly lowering the stiff leg until Hoist could reach it and let down the rest of the way; repeating the manoeuvre a few minutes later for the other limb. With Jazz finally freed, Wheeljack and Hoist gently laid him on the deck until he could re-orientate his systems again.
"How d' you feel, Jazz?" Wheeljack asked. The Porsche made an untranslatable noise and groaned, optics squeezed shut in obvious discomfort. "Let's get him to Ratchet." Prowl suggested.
0o0o0
Ratchet finished his examination of the unfortunate Autobot and shook his head slightly, lips twitching as he tried to contain a chuckle. "You'll be fine Jazz, just stay put for a while." He said, patting Jazz's shoulder comfortingly. Jazz mumbled something that sounded like a 'thanks', his voice muffled by the arm he had flung over his face in an attempt to keep the world from spinning too much.
Prowl and the rest of the group were waiting just outside the main ward. The doors opened and Ratchet emerged. "Jazz is dizzy, but fine." The CMO reported. "His equilibrium system wasn't designed to handle that sort of punishment. Any idea who's behind it?" he asked curiously.
"Not a clue." Wheeljack replied ruefully. "The twins were both on duty all night, so it couldn't have been them."
"And it would have had to involve at least two conspirators." Prowl added. "Unfortunately, there are no surveillance cameras in that area of the living quarters and the internal tracking system is still down from the attack yesterday."
"Well, whoever it was is lucky that Jazz is such a deep sleeper." Ratchet said irritably, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "He'd have howled bloody murder and belted them a few if he woke up in mid-transport."
A little known fact about the black and white saboteur was that when he was in deep recharge after an especially stressful battle like yesterday's, he was notoriously hard to wake up. In addition to that, his particular job had left the Porsche rather high strung and understandably paranoid at times, though he was usually able to hide it quite well.
Combined with the usual disorientation from being roused from deep recharge before his systems could cycle out, Jazz's resulting reaction to waking and finding one or more persons unexpectedly in uncomfortably close proximity was to yell and lash out with a surprisingly powerful left hook, as an unfortunate intern had discovered in a now infamous incident back at Iacon.
"Is there any way we can track down the culprits?" Hoist queried.
"Unfortunately, no." Prowl replied. "There is no evidence of anyone having been remotely near Jazz's quarters between when he went off-line and my finding him."
"Maybe it was the same folks who painted Skyfire last week." Wheeljack suggested. "It looks like their M.O.- post battle, done at night, no evidence, and the target was in recharge at the time."
"You been watching CSI again?" Ratchet asked curiously.
"Nah, NCIS. Gibs reminds me of someone for some reason." Wheeljack replied impishly, ducking a swat from Ratchet.
"You may be onto something Wheeljack." Prowl said, rubbing his chin in thought. "I'll go over the file of Skyfire's attack and look for any correlations, then examine the area."
"I'll see if I can turn up anything from Teletran." Wheeljack volunteered.
"Care for a hand?" Hoist asked.
"Sure, the more the merrier." Wheeljack replied. "Maybe Chip can spare a bit of time too."
"I'll check on Jazz then give you a hand, Prowl." Ratchet said.
The quartet split up to begin their self-appointed task of hunting down the Ark's latest practical jokers.