I was recently digging around the TOS fanfiction area when I failed to find almost any fanfictions about Linar. So I decided to make a lame attempt at writing, erm, poetry. Not good poetry, mind you. Just words randomly indented with very few periods, commas, semi-colons, ect. Which brings me to this.
A look inside Linar's thoughts as he ponders the meaning of goodbye and keeps getting off track.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, anything within it, or Namco.
Reviewing is not required, only appreciated. This might be a bit OOC, but please try and bear with me. I'm out of touch with this sort of thing.
Actually, I'm very out of touch, so this might be extrememly out-of-character. Which is why I ask for some reviews, of course. Heh heh heh...
Thoughts in Asgard
Letting go is part of the journey
It makes us mortal
Summon Spirits never say goodbye
Only forever
All of the birds in the sky
And the beasts of the land
Say goodbye in their own little ways
I have to say goodbye to my sister
To let her off into a whole new world
With a half-elven idiot with bad luck
Seriously
He really does have bad luck
Things falling on top of him
Tripping over invisible boulders
Breaking a house by bumping into it
But he's okay
Strangely enough
He's my best friend
More important to me than most
Even if I do have to follow him around to keep him out of trouble
I also have to say goodbye
To someone who doesn't even know I said hello
It's not the way her crystal eyes sparkle
Or the way her silver-blue hair shines
Not even the beauty of her smile
The curve of her lips
Or the pure perfection that she is
The thing that captivates me is the way she lives
The strength and confidence in her step
The grace no human could have
Her vast knowledge of people and things
The gorgeous look of excitement on her face
Her disappointment when she fails
And how she never gives up on anyone
People included
She is so wonderful
So beautiful
That the whole world pales in comparison
My tongue is tied whenever she is around
At the sound of her voice
I turn into a jabbering idiot
Harley has always been the more outspoken of us
Even though it took him exactly fifty-two tries
Before he could propose to my sister without being interrupted
In the strangest ways
Such as little kids suddenly appearing
Rocks falling on them near the dais
A fish flopping out of his workshop at night
People screeching about the end of the world
As an expensive pot crashes to the ground
As a maid trips overhead
Because of a strange wild vibration
After he stomped his foot angrily in front of the cliff
And the pot falls right in front of him
As Aisha stares in confusion
But still my heart betrays me
As I cannot help but freeze in wonder
As she lifts her hand from caressing the pages of her book
That she is studying as well as the map before the two of us
To tuck a stray piece of silvery hair
Behind her beautifully enchanting ear
Which is not long and sharp like that of an elf
Nor boring and bland like mine
But perfectly mixed
Into the most gorgeous ear
Sylvarant has ever seen
Staring at her I know I need help
For a mortal should never feel this way
Not for a goddess of knowledge
A Summon Spirit of wisdom
An angel of ruins
Maps are her Bibles
Books the offerings she demands
Cursing humans to lose their minds
And barely even care
For what they have lost
She is a nymph of healing winds
The Pandora of my heart
Leading me astray from all thoughts
And desire of sense
So as I sit here and ponder the essence of goodbye
I stare at her as she speaks
Light in her eyes
A smile on her lips
And know that she is the most delicate and pure creature
This world has ever known
As she turns to look at me
I struggle to recall what she had said
And I feel the eyes of her companions on my back
A brash child raised with dwarven principles
And high ideals
A failed Chosen who never gives up
Even though she has let the world down
An ax-wielder with stony eyes
Clutching an ax that is almost alive
One of the people who have come from the moon
Or so I've been told
And she makes me almost believe it
A determined young woman with tears in her smile
Speaking of hardships and blame of something long ago
That she has never gotten over
Even though she has been forgiven
It seems
The confident male at her side
Strangely quiet for once
Guarded eyes holding contempt and other things
That he will never let others know
Instead hiding behind a person he knows he is not
But no one seems to tell
His expression is unreadable
And frightening in its simplicity
When no being could ever be as dense and selfish as he claims to be
A man with the air of someone important
But the look of a criminal
With eyes that have shed too many tears
To ever shed another
Yet punishes himself
For some unknown reason
Even I cannot find out
Unless I ask
Which feels strange to do
As I do not know him
Even as he glances over at the ax-wielder
With sadness on his face
That only a lover and a killer would know
And yet he seems to understand
With ease about him
The workings of the world
A half-elf with old eyes
Too experienced for his young form
Pain is evident by his glance
A barely smothered hate for us
That he seems to turn on all humans he meets
Protective of but one
Who brings out the evidence of his youth
As he transforms before the world
From an accusing spiteful adult
Into a blubbering crushing pre-teen
But I cannot forget
Even then
The faith he has in his companions
And the malice he holds for the rest of us
The incredible talent that he hides
A genius in both mind and magic
Ahead of his age in both
And in knowledge of pain
Weakness of heart
And sorrow
By many decades he has surpassed
His youthful age
In those areas
And fights in earnest
All obstacles that threaten his sister
Who is worthy of such devotion and worship
If any mortal is
And yet I see none of them
And barely feel their gazes on my back
As I raise my hand to rub the back of my head
And point with my other at the map in front of me
Tearing my gaze from the immortal beside me
As my voice betrays my nervousness
And informs her of all I know of the subject at hand
A part of me cannot comprehend why they would be searching for such a creature
As Aska can surely be no greater than the creature beside me
But the rest of my mind stays on focus
Refusing to leave me here alone
With no desire for wits or salvation
She studies the map with interest
Before turning to me
The strangest expression on her face
I can feel the blood rushing to mine
As she leans in far too close
Her breath intermixing with my own
As her voice praises some sort of revelation
That I can only assume I have given her
By the determination and excitement in her eyes
As they widen in pure ecstasy at discovering some secret
That she will never tell anyone else
But herself
And her books
The others are backing away from us now
Seeming ready to run
But their hearts reminding them not to leave me in such peril
That they seem to see before their eyes
As the beautiful goddess in front of me
Begins to tell us a story
Forgetting that her face is remarkably close to mine
And that she is leaning over me
As I have pressed myself as far away from her as the back of my chair will allow
And still further yet
But still my face continues heating up
A painful betrayal of my nervousness
And strange fortune at being so close to such a marvelous being
Without being dead or blind
The young swordsman has already ran
His companion tripping
Before chasing after him
Long blonde hair streaming out behind her
As she ran from some perilous terror
As the goddess continued
Her face inching towards mine in excitement
Her cheeks flushed with exhilaration
I saw a frightened expression on the other red-haired male's face
As he whispered something into the ear of the woman beside him
Apparently only for an excuse to escape
As she whirled around to face him
Anger in her eyes
Righteous fury compelling her to slap him hard across his face
And he took off
With only a call of something such as a screaming banshee as an excuse
Which caused the woman to screech loudly
And take off after him
Murder in her eyes
The young half-elven male seems to back away slightly
The ax-wielder turns to him
Seemly out of pity
And asks him to help her sharpen her ax
Which was already more than sharp enough
Or so the wall seemed to protest
Concerning the overjoyed reunion it had taken part in
When seeing the ax for the first time
As the sharp metal object with almost demonic purposes
Had attempted to glomp the poor wall
With mixed results
As its wielder had stared emotionlessly forward
Leaving the swordsman named Lloyd to fork over gald to the mayor
For the intensive damage
That the wayward ax had unintentionally caused
With its excitement
At meeting a new friend
And so I was left alone
Save for the tall blue-haired man
Who only nodded in interest out of politeness
When a glance was sent his way
And as I listened to the woman before me
Convinced that her forehead would soon be touching mine if she did not stop leaning forward
I vainly reminded myself that I was not a fool
But a highly intelligent
Or so I had been told
Which I find hard to believe
Given the current circumstances
The tightness in my throat
Combined with my burning face
My recently discovered muteness
And my sickness caused by the close proximity of the half-elven woman
Among other less comfortable things
That I do not feel the need to think about
As I try to remind myself that I was not a fool
But an intelligent fool
Who was ridiculously attracted to a goddess
In the form of a half-elf
Who seemed too absorbed in her own tale
To consider the strangeness of the situation
The blue-haired male seemed to pity me
Once he realized that I had stopped breathing as a result of the ridiculously non-existent space between us
And stepped forward
Reminding her that the reason for their visit
Were not the ruins of some lost continent on the moon
But to see if I could assist them in discovering the position of the bird-like companion of Luna
And so she blinks
Turning to face him
Before turning back to face me
As our noses touch
And she pauses for a moment
Wondering how she ended up almost laying on top of me
As I stare right back at her
My face crimson
And she leans away from me in pure confusion
At how she had come to be so close to her supposed colleague
Who must have looked about ready to die
For I have no doubt that he felt ready to die right then
And be carried away to some place that seems to escape my mind
Where all the good little humans go
After being scared
Oddly attracted
And utterly embarrassed
By
To
And by again respectively
A goddess equal in glory with Martel
Bless Her immortal soul
And I once again pondered the idea of leaving someone
And of saying goodbye
Knowing that I must say goodbye to my dear sister
Even though she'd still be near me all of the time
And of saying goodbye to a best friend
Saying hello instead to a former best friend turned brother-in-law
And wondering why I
Of all people
Was blessed and cursed
By this beauty before me
Rubbing the back of my head
I told her it was no big deal
As if I was accustomed to such a strange thing that had just happened
When in reality she had only done it twice before
Once when I helped her find the Summon Spirits of Wind
And again when I had helped her carry her numerous books
To place them on the back of an already well-loaded down protozoan
Whom Lloyd called a dog
But insisted his name was Noishe
To which I was almost sad that I had studied Protozanian four years ago
As to be spared the protests of the abused creature
Who was always mistaken for a dog
For it seemed that only Miss Raine had enough sense to know a protozoan when she saw one
Although she herself has called him a dog
Which confuses me
For I know she must be informed of his legendary lineage
By her strong will to dissect him
And as the blue-haired man and my goddess leave the house
I once again force myself to ponder the meaning of leaving someone behind
And I know in my heart my love is a doomed one
For the half-elven goddess
Who is perfect in every way
(Even in cooking
Which her companions did not eat
And Harley outright refused ever to eat again
But I found delicious
Albeit a little strange tasting)
Could never love one such as me
Never a human who turns to mush just hearing her name
(To which I am indignant
As only Harley should
And does
Act this way around a female
Although for him
It is my sister
And boulders fall whenever he tries to talk to her
Barely missing some innocent passerby
In most cases)
And was completely undeserving of her presence
Not to mention that she would live to be at least
One thousand years of age
While I would only live about seventy
Which is in approximately forty-six years
If I live that long
In which I will grow to be old
And she will remain just as young as ever
But I have to wonder
If leaving people behind makes one mortal
Then what does watching them go make one?
Her voice carries as the man steers her away from my house
Yelling something about going on an excavation with me in the future
To discover some ancient artifact of lore
And to learn the secrets of some civilization of short rude mini-dwarves
Who called themselves gnomelettes
And I cannot help but smile and rub the back of my head
In my characteristic way
As I knew that this time
A goodbye
Would not be so hard to make
As it would someday turn into a hello
Which made me smile even more
Even though I know I look like a fool
Smiling as I wave goodbye out my window
At Miss Raine
Who tries to motion dignifiedly back at me
As she and the man round the corner
Towards the entrance up to the dais
Towards Aska
And saving the world
My only regret is that I cannot watch her do so
As she goes off healing her companions
Saving them from eminent doom
And I can't help but wish I was Noishe
So I would never have to say goodbye
And instead be with her
For over one thousand years
Which would be too short a time
To spend anywhere but at her side
And as Aisha taps my shoulder
Watching me stare off into the distance
Wondering if my mind is still in Asgard
I cannot help but think
That maybe goodbye isn't part of the journey that makes us mortal
But the beginning of a new chapter of our lives
And the bittersweet end of another.