Disclaimer: Mwa ha ha!

Chapter twenty-nine! I sing! I just keep getting ideas for this story. I'm totally addicted to writing it.

Note to Draco's Secret Lover: I was thinking along those lines too. Raven did go a bit far, didn't she? It's going to be dealt with in this chapter, don't worry.

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Beast Boy was sitting up on the cot while he waited for the results of his x-ray, which was always a good sign. The others sat around waiting with him in concern, because although he seemed fine, a med scan might prove otherwise.

All of the Titans were strangely subdued. Any casual onlooker might think it was because Beast Boy had been wounded in battle, but someone who looked in a bit deeper would know the truth. This uneasy state of shaky discomfort was fueled by the events of Raven's encounter with Cinderblock. She had gone too far this time, and they all knew it. They could all sense that something far beyond their control was happening within the young Azarathian, and they all knew it was something they would have to deal with.

Robin looked especially uncomfortable. Being the leader of the team, he was going to have to be the one to confront her about her outburst, and it was painfully obvious that he wasn't exactly looking forward to the situation. He sat beside Beast Boy on the cot, twiddling his thumbs and humming softly. Raven sat on Beast Boy's other side, also aware of what was going to have to happen eventually.

The thing that Raven had feared most had finally happened. The thing that she had worried about and agonized over for hours when she was first discovering her feelings for Beast Boy. She had always worried about others getting hurt by her unchecked rage, and now it had happened. Someone had gotten hurt. Someone had died. It had just been a foe this time, but what about next time? What would happen if one of her friends got hurt? What would happen if Beast Boy got hurt?

Raven couldn't bear the thought of this. And slowly, somewhere in the depths of her mind, she began to realize the enormous sacrifice she was going to have to make, whether she liked it or not.

"Everything looks normal," Cyborg said, squinting at the scan results on one of the many monitors. "No broken ribs, but that's what it looked like at first glance. You're gonna have a nice bruise, but other than that you should be just fine, BB," he said with a large grin, clapping the green teenager on the back.

"Thanks, Cy," Beast Boy said with a smile, able to forget his unease for a moment. The others gave slightly forced grins of relief even through their unease. After the smiles faded away, there was an uneasy silence once more. Cyborg switched off the monitors and Beast Boy hopped down from the cot. There was a very, very long pause that seemed to choke all friendly feelings out of the air almost immediately. Robin sighed and cleared his throat heavily.

"Raven," he said simply, turning his masked eyes on the young Azarathian. She nodded slightly, and he could tell she knew what was coming. "Back there…with Cinderblock…I don't mean to be rude but I can't help but think that you might have gone a bit far. You…well Raven…you killed someone," Robin said, trying to be calm. Raven stiffened at these words, though she already knew the truth in them. "This isn't the first time you've let your rage get out of control."

"I know," Raven answered, slipping from the cot to the floor and standing there, looking rather small. "And I appreciate you trying not to explode at me. I'm…sorry. I know an apology in no way justifies what I did, but…" she trailed off and didn't speak for a moment. "I know…I need to get my emotions under control and I…it won't happen again," she said weakly, in a strange manner that none of them had ever seen before.

Raven turned and walked out the door of the Med. Bay, and the others watched her go in concern for a moment. All of them were secretly frightened by her earlier actions, and even Beast Boy was slightly reluctant to go after her. Despite his love for her, she had always frightened him slightly, even now.

"Dude, she….she killed someone because of me," he said softly. "This is my fault." his ears drooped and he hung his head slightly.

"It isn't your fault, B," Cy said, patting his friend on the back. "These things just happen. You didn't do anything to set it off. It was Cinderblock's fault."

"yes, Friend Beast Boy! You have not done anything wrong!" Starfire assured him. Beast Boy nodded faintly, looking very unconvinced.

"I need to talk to her," he said, turning and walking out of the room as the other three exchanged pained glances.

The door to Raven's room was shut and there was no sound from inside. Beast Boy knocked lightly on the door.

"Raven?" he called softly. For a moment there was no answer.

"What?" Raven's voice came weakly from inside the room.

"Uh…can I come in?"

"No," Raven said, her voice sounding strangely detached.

"Why not?" Beast Boy asked, slightly confused, pressing his ear against the door. He heard her sigh loudly from inside and the door slid open, moved by her powers. Beast Boy entered the dark room cautiously. Raven was sitting cross-legged on her bed. She looked at him for a moment through hollow eyes, and he crossed the room and took a seat beside her. "What's going on?"

"What's going on?" Raven asked, looking at him in disbelief. "I'm a fucking murderer, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy was shocked for a moment. "Oh come on, it's not like that. We were fighting him. Villains get hurt in fights. It happens," he said comfortingly, slipping an arm around her. Raven jerked herself away from him and looked him in the eye.

"Villains get hurt. They're not supposed to die," Raven said fiercely. "We're heroes, not executioners. We're supposed to bring them back alive. We're not supposed to blow them up. I am insane."

"No you're not."

"Yes, I am," Raven snapped, sounding angry at him. He recoiled slightly, and immediately a look of regret filled her face. "I'm sorry," she said in a softer tone, reaching a hand out to him. He recoiled a bit more, looking a bit nervous, and Raven's eyes immediately brimmed with tears. "Oh, God. I didn't mean to…" she whispered, caressing his cheek lightly. Beast Boy relaxed slightly. Raven looked into his eyes for a moment. "Shit…please don't be afraid of me," she said quietly.

Beast Boy stared back. "I'm not," he said in a voice barely above a whisper. It was clear that Raven didn't believe him. Her eyes were wide and quivering.

"Beast Boy…I promise that I would never…ever hurt you," she said softly. "I know what I did was a bit…unreasonable but I did it because I couldn't stand that fact that he hurt you. It'll never happen again, I promise."

Beast Boy looked deeply into her eyes for a moment to make sure she meant it, and saw nothing but utmost sincerity. At this, his fear dropped and he allowed her to hug him. He closed his arms around her cautiously and the two of them lay down. Raven rested her forehead against his chest.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Beast Boy stroked her violet hair lightly. "It's OK," he said gently.

"Oh Beast Boy, what if it ends up happening again?" she asked. He could hear the genuine fear in her voice. "What if it happens again and this time it's someone I care for? What if it's one of you four? What if one of you gets hurt…or worse, killed?" she squeezed him very tightly at this prospect.

"Oh come on Rave, that's not gonna-"

"It could," Raven said, drawing back slightly and looking him in the eye. He saw that her face was tearstained. "And if it did-" she shuddered. "I don't think I'd be able to live with it."

"You're not gonna hurt us, sweetheart," Beast Boy said, taking a risk and calling her by a pet name. She didn't seem to mind. If she did, she didn't call any attention to it.

"Beast Boy, you don't understand. When I decided to take a chance and be with you, this was the thing that I was dreading. I hoped with every fiber of my soul that it wasn't going to happen. I realize now that it is the inevitable. It is impossible for me to be genuinely happy without someone else getting hurt," she said. She was shaking.

"Raven…" Beast Boy muttered, feeling himself almost start to tear up at the look on her face. "It's going to be OK, really. Don't worry."

"I can't just stop thinking about it. I know that it's going to happen. Eventually, things are going to keep building and someone else is going to get hurt. I can't let that happen," Raven said.

"Then don't," Beast Boy said, kissing her forehead gently. Raven gave a slight moan. "are you OK?" Beast Boy asked, alarmed.

"I'm just so…tired," Raven muttered, sounding almost confused.

"It's OK," Beast Boy told her, stroking her forehead comfortingly. "You can get some sleep. Think about this later."

Raven nodded faintly, already half asleep. She was drifting away fast. When she spoke, her words were wavering with a yawn. "T-thank you, Beast Boy." and then she fell silent.

Beast Boy lay still so he wouldn't awaken her. He pondered the events of earlier. As much as he hated to admit it, the girl in his arms was like a ticking time bomb. It was never evident when she was going to explode next. It was almost scary. So why was it so easy to love her?

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Next chapter soon. Sorry that took over a week!