Disclaimer: Murph.

Yay! And chapter thirty-three is here to steal your soul. I'm unnaturally giddy today and I don't care! I've got some Cheez-It's, lemonade, and a fair amount of patience, and so I now go on to bring you a new chapter. Hope you enjoy it!

Note to Cloud: Aww, I'm sorry this is bumming you out:hugs:

I'd like to take a moment to thank all of you again for reading and/or reviewing. Praise to all of you:glomps:

I had tryouts for a choir solo today! I really hope I made it.

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Beast Boy wasn't exactly sure how long he had spent on the roof so far. It was nothing but a mind-numbing mass of tears and anguish to him. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours. He wasn't sure. The air was cooling down considerably, and he was getting colder and colder. The more his fingers numbed, the less he cared. He could just lay here and freeze to death. Why would it even matter anymore? What was there left to breathe for? He could feel his mind slowly shifting to a very familiar state, and everything around him almost began to darken as drowning emotions set in. Why did anything matter anymore? Why was he still here? Why had the Earth not stopped spinning? He agonized over these questions for a few more minutes before he could no longer stand them and let them go, crawling halfheartedly over to the edge of the roof, dragging himself up into a crouching position with his elbows. He stared blankly down at the rocky surface of the island below. The full moon was abnormally bright tonight, illuminating the rugged ground below. Oh, how blissful it would be to just be part of that ground. Be one of those rocks. To feel nothing. He edged himself closer to the edge of the rooftop, keeping his steady gaze trained on the empty, rough ground.

Cyborg whistled nonchalantly as he strolled along the topmost halls of Titans Tower, swinging his arms from side to side. There was no one near to watch him, and he was in an especially good mood tonight. He had just finally worked a rather irritating bug out of the T-car's autopilot system, and that was enough to put quite the spring in his step. Glancing around quickly to be sure no one was watching, he put a bit of dance into his step, kicking his legs out on either side. Then he stopped and walked normally, shaking his head and chuckling to himself. He reached the flight of stairs that led up to the roof and started up them. Reaching the top, he pushed open the door. Immediately, the chilly night air washed over his face, rejuvenating his senses blissfully. The young half-robot stepped out fully onto the roof and scanned the flat surface around him.

"B? You there?" he called. "Raven?"

He stopped, and he listened, and for a moment he heard nothing but the soft whisper of the wind across the smooth plane of the rooftop and the faint, barely audible honking of car horns in the distant streets of Jump City. He took a few steps forward, looking around, and caught sight of a small figure on the edge of the roof, hunched over and looking tiny and helpless. Cyborg walked the short distance over to the stooped figure, stopping behind him.

Beast Boy heard no sound of movement, so distracted he was in his silence. Looking down at the unforgiving rocky soil, his muscles tensed and he readied himself to spring.

"BB?" a voice asked. The changeling slowly turned his head and looked his friend in the face.

"Hey, Cy," he said, his voice emotionless. Cyborg was slightly disturbed by the depth of the sorrow and confusion slipping from the two words.

"What's the matter? You look like you just lost your best friend," he said gently. Beast Boy gave a very strange choking whimper and his head dropped onto his chest. Cy's eyes widened. "Whoa, easy BB. Are you OK?" he asked, bending down and placing a large mechanical hand on the green teenager's shoulder.

Beast Boy shook his head solemnly, regaining control over himself and looking back at his teammate.

"What happened?" Cy asked, concern spreading over his face.

"I'll tell you when we get downstairs," Beast Boy said, grabbing the small package wrapped in tissue paper and Raven's communicator, and climbing shakily to his feet. Beast Boy headed for the door, so Cy shrugged and followed him, watching the back of his friend's head in worry from behind.

It didn't take long for the two to reach the living room. When they entered, the faces of Robin and Starfire looked up at them in anticipation. Apparently their searches had been far less successful than Cyborg's. The two were standing near the numerous monitors, and it only took a cheerful Starfire seconds to fly across the room to Cyborg and Beast Boy, taking Robin by the hand and pulling him behind her.

"Friend Cyborg, you have found Beast Boy!" Starfire said happily, embracing the two of them so tightly that they both squirmed. "But where is Raven?"

At this, Beast Boy's face drew with a reaction that was pure emotional agony and he looked to the carpet.

"Beast Boy, are you OK?" Robin asked, scratching his head in confusion. Beast Boy shook his head quickly. "What's going on?" Robin asked. Beast Boy slowly sighed and looked up, dragging his eyes around the other three Titans before speaking.

"OK," he said softly. He held Raven's communicator out to Robin. He took it with a look of slight confusion. "That's…that's Raven's. She wanted me to tell you guys that she's sorry." it took him a moment to find his voice again after that. "She left. She's gone, and she's never coming back."

Robin's mask bulged for a moment, mirroring the looks that now resided on Starfire and Cyborg's face. "She…she left? Why?" he stammered.

"I don't really know. She said it was because she didn't want us to get hurt because of her powers going out of control again," Beast Boy answered flatly.

"She was worried?" Robin asked.

"I guess," Beast Boy said. Still no emotion in his voice.

"She could have talked to me about it," Robin said with an unreadable expression on his face. "We could have done something…gotten her some tough training to get them under control. Why would she just….leave?"

"Yes, Robin is correct. Raven has merely walked away without a goodbye to any of us? That does not sound like the friend I know," Starfire said. She looked about as hurt and betrayed as Beast Boy felt.

"She wouldn't even have said goodbye to me I hadn't found her right before she left," Beast Boy said, voice threatening to break. "I don't think she cares anymore," he said in a voice that was too quiet to even be audible.

"How could Raven just walk out on us like this?" Cyborg said, sounding distressed and confused and let down all at once. "Why would she just-"

"I don't know, OK?" Beast Boy snapped, suddenly fierce. "So stop asking me questions!"

Cyborg stepped back slightly. "Chill, BB," he said.

"Don't tell me to chill!" Beast Boy said. "You don't even know how the fuck I feel, so why should you have the right to tell me what to do?" he wasn't exactly sure why he was so angry, but he was. He turned around and started to walk toward the exit of the room, but Cyborg grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back. Beast Boy was about to start yelling again, but then Cy pulled him into a hug, bumping him slightly painfully into the metal chest. He could feel Starfire's arms close around him as well, and then eventually even Robin's. The three teenagers hugged Beast Boy warmly all at once, and he could feel his anger drain away and it was replaced with immeasurable pain once more. He gave a soft whimper, resting his chin on Starfire's shoulder because it was the nearest thing.

"I'm sorry BB," Cyborg said. "I know you miss her. I know it hurts."

"Yeah, but it's OK. We're here for you, and we always will be," Robin said.

"You are never, ever alone. I promise," Starfire said.

Beast Boy crumbled completely, bursting into silent tears, and his friends hugged him wordlessly, offering their silent comfort.

XXX

Robin stood silently before the large window, glaring out at the distant twinkling lights of Jump City that sparkled brightly across the ebony expanse of water that was the bay. That water seemed to shimmer distantly with whispers of unknown mystery. The dark waters seemed to taunt Robin in his already irate state.

"Robin, you are troubled once more?" Starfire asked from behind him. Robin turned to face her.

"Of course I'm troubled. We just lost a Titan," he snapped, and then immediately wished he hadn't. Starfire looked wounded. "Oh damn, I'm sorry Star," he said, embracing her tightly and gently brushing her golden lips with his own. "I didn't mean to say that. I'm just so stressed right now that-"

"It is alright, Robin," Starfire said, smiling and appearing to have already bounced back.

"OK. I'm glad," Robin said with a smile. "I just…this is so sudden. This morning everything was fine and now Raven is just gone without a warning. And the fact that she didn't even talk to me about it makes matters even worse." he could feel some of his frustration working its way into his voice. "I mean….I thought we were friends. I really did. What kind of friend does that make me to her if she didn't even bother to talk to me about her leaving face to face?"

"You are angry with her," Starfire observed.

"Well no, not angry, just….well, yes, I'm a little angry. She…that was…that was just so inconsiderate. Look what she did to us, to the team, to Beast Boy!" he said, throwing his hands into the air in frustration. "She's trying to protect us with this, I know, that's just the way Raven is. But she's just…well….she's being selfish! There are alternatives to leaving, and she knows it! But instead she has to just run away to escape whatever she was dealing with. She's always been like this. She can't just sit there and deal with it! She has to find some way to block everything out or run away from it! Why can't she just stand in the face of her fears and accept them?" Robin asked. It felt good to let all of these things out. He knew it was stupid, but he felt just as betrayed as he had after Terra's duplicity had been revealed. "Friends aren't supposed to do this. Look at Beast Boy. Just look at him. Didn't she even stop to think about how it was going to make him feel? Doesn't she remember what happened last time he lost someone he loved? If Raven keeps this up, she's going to drive him right back over the edge. It took so long to get him back, and now she's destroying him again. Sometimes I wonder how we even put up with that girl!" Robin said. He hadn't meant to keep rambling. At first, he had not been angry, but now he was seething.

Starfire looked slightly unsettled, but not like she disagreed. "True, she has been a bit selfish," she said. Robin was grateful that she didn't point out how severely he had overreacted. "I am very worried about Beast Boy," Starfire said, turning her eyes to the small green heap on the sofa. It was nearly 3 AM. Beast Boy had finally cried himself to sleep an hour ago, and now the room was relatively silent.

"Me too," Robin said, his anger draining away almost immediately as concern for his friend took over.

There was a slight mechanical whooshing noise that shattered the momentary calm as the door slid shut behind Cyborg when he entered the room, holding three steaming mugs. He moved over to the sofa, and Robin and Starfire followed. They sat down as far away from the sleeping Beast Boy as possible so as not to awaken him. Cyborg passed out the mugs.

"Hot cocoa. I figured after that ordeal we could all use some warm fuzzies," he said. Robin slowly brought the steaming drink to his lips and took a sip, and then stared absentmindedly into the pale brown creamy liquid, vaguely remembering images of animal crackers floating and disintegrating in the same chocolaty substance years ago. And then he blinked and childhood memories fleeted, leaving only the two somber teenagers beside him and the sound of a fierce wind howling against the sturdy outside walls of the Tower.

A long, rather uncomfortable pause reigned for a moment. Starfire clutched her warm mug tightly, desperate to bring some warmth to her thoughts. Things were terribly wrong. The Tamaranian's fragile equilibrium was shattered by the distress of her friends and the loss of Raven. She felt strangely empty, and leaned sideways to be closer to Robin, hoping to regain a little of her animation. Robin balanced his cocoa mug in one hand and slipped his free arm around her. She leaned into him, glad for his warmth and vitality against her own skin. The silence prevailed for a few more seconds, and it seemed as though the three teenagers were all trying to piece together the same mental puzzle, answer the same, mentality-plundering question.

"I just don't understand," Cyborg asked finally, shaking his head. "Why would she do this?"

"I don't know, Cyborg. I don't think any of us do," Robin said slowly.

"Raven is very complicated. There are ways her mind works which we are not supposed to understand, perhaps," Starfire offered.

"Well, I don't know," Cyborg said. "I just hope BB's gonna be OK."

"We all do," Robin said, casting a worried look at the green teenager who was curled into a ball on the opposite end of the sofa, his face contorted as though he were trapped in a perpetual nightmare.

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Next chapter will come soon.