Chapter Two-
Alanna of Trebond was sent to the convent at the age of eight, a year after the death of her father and the passage of the Trebond estate into the hands of Marlon Stanmore, a close enough relative to be trusted but still too distant that Maude deemed it necessary for Alanna to leave two years earlier than planned. She wasn't missed much.
The six years of convent life that followed were relatively peaceful ones; Alanna wasn't much of a social child, anyway, and kept primarily to herself; the gossip and general hate of the other girls rarely seemed to affect her. However, the Daughters' determination to feminize her was met with a rather strong passive resistance—she so rarely came to instruction or followed what was taught when she did decide to come.
Finally, with two extra years within the convent walls, enough of a court lady's ways was impressed upon her mind that the priestesses finally deemed her adequately prepared to ensnare a husband of relatively good standing. At least, they hoped that some old spinster from a good family would find her easy enough to live with and wed her.
To ensure that this was accomplished, the First Daughter sent Alanna to Corus with the three most tolerant and feminine ladies possible, charged with encouraging any good matches and aiding Alanna in sealing the marriage contract.
Presently, one of the ladies, Meganne, was doing exactly that.
"Sir Gareth was not interested in anyone else last night," she said, in a tone resembling praise. "And he is not usually interested in women. You have him for certain, Alanna!"
Alanna's lip twitched as she considered telling Meganne off. Instead, she settled on ignoring her and continuing to read the book she'd stolen from the library. It was the manuscript of fighting stances, and Alanna shuffled her feet as she sat, imagining them.
"And how he called after you, for everyone to hear! My dear, you've surprised me. Sir Gareth with become the king's advisor one day. And imagine how envious the other ladies will be, that you will always be invited to royal events and near Prince Jonathan!"
"I'm sure," Alanna said, allowing an obvious amount of annoyance into her voice.
"Why, most ladies would be lucky to find a man not older than their father, but Sir Gareth is young, and by the Goddess, is he a sight! You would have beautiful sons, if they were to resemble him."
"And if they resembled me?" Alanna's lip curled at the irony. Meganne, usually a clever conversationalist, seemed not to notice any of her underlying meanings. Apparently, she was only skilled in identifying those of men at court.
"Oh, Alanna, do do everything that you can; he's absolutely perfect, and-and you don't know what other men you might have a chance with. He might be unaccustomed to women, and… fumble a bit, but you must make him realize that you want marriage first; you know how those men are about avoiding those things until it's absolutely necessary. And his family is very old and very respectable, and he's sure to provide for you handsomely! His mother always wore the largest jewels."
Alanna lifted her head at the last of Meganne's speech, digesting the thought obviously for the first time. "He is very wealthy, is he?"
Meganne nodded emphatically. "I hear he isn't much of a knight, but the service that he will provide for the king… and his family must have so much collected after all these centuries."
"How can you be sure?" Alanna asked. Now Meganne laughed, flitting about the room with obvious delight.
"Have him buy you expensive gifts as part of his courtship! Tell him how much you adore rubies because they're the color of your hair, and see what he gives you."
Alanna had put the book away and was patting her greased hair absent-mindedly as she thought. "Won't," she said slowly, "a man like him require a large dowry?"
Meganne hesitated, pausing in her flitting and weighing Alanna up in her eyes. "If," she said, "he is really quite taken with you, and because you come from a distinguished enough family, Sir Gareth might allow you a slightly smaller dowry… but it will still be some thousand gold crowns."
Taking on a distant, calculating look, Alanna rose, having forgotten both her book and her roommate. Still patting her hair, she stepped out the door into the hallway. Meganne rushed after her.
"Where are you going now? To see him?" she asked anxiously, though she was clearly excited by the prospect.
"Maybe," answered Alanna. "Why?"
"Oh, you can't go looking like that! You need an afternoon gown now, and your hair's miserable, stop that!" Meganne swatted Alanna's hand away from her hair and bullied her back into the room despite Alanna's protestations.
"I'm only going to think!" Alanna snapped. "I might not see him, and it doesn't matter how I look—what now?"
Meganne was tugging at her gown and unlacing the back. Resignedly, Alanna allowed her to pull the numerous layers over her head and then shove her face into a bowl of water. Meganne continued to chatter away as she washed and combed Alanna's hair. The victim pointedly ignored her, though she sat relatively complacently as Meganne twisted her hair about.
Alanna mused over the new complications. The lack of her name in her father's will had left her dowry, at best, in a precarious situation. It was certainly in her interest to marry as soon as possible if she didn't want to find herself begging her relatives for her father's money. Quite honestly, she didn't care either way, but enough years had been spent at the convent that she was quite accustomed to habitual action without a regard to her particular opinions or feelings—they'd long ago been dismissed and forgotten.
And so, the habitual action to take now, per instructions of the convent, would be to marry this knight.
However, she was quite certain that Gary had no such interests in mind in his pursuit of her, though she didn't quite know what he expected from her. Remembering again his promise from earlier in the day, Alanna wondered what conclusions he might have come to. Nobody had ever paid her enough mind to have noticed such things about her, and she eyed the book lying on the bed. She found herself weighing his trust in her mind. She had no idea what his motives were, and this only increased her wariness. It had been too long since she'd allowed anyone to gain a hold on her, and now wasn't the time to start.
Watch yourself, Alanna chided. She couldn't afford to make mistakes like those of this morning. No more reading in the library. Don't read where he can find you.
"Meganne," she began hesitantly. "What do you think would be the quickest way to…"
"Marry him?" her captor giggled. "Well, with Sir Gareth, I don't know. Do whatever it was that you did last night, Alanna, and he will be smitten in no time at all. "
Alanna wondered if she was capable of such manipulation as was required for a lady to contract a husband. Before, in the cold isolation of the Convent, she thought it'd be simple to say the things required in an interaction between an interested knight and an available lady. Such conversations were largely filled with superficialities, anyway, and she felt safe behind the protective barrier of acknowledged lies. Yet somehow, Gary hadn't complied with the commonplace formula and had managed to see something behind the superficiality.
Something within her constricted in cold terror at the thought of his mind groping hers.
"Do you own anything besides gray?" Meganne was exasperatedly searching through her dresses. "Here, I suppose you could wear something of mine if you wear some higher shoes… I'm only an inch taller, Alanna, don't look at me like that." She was displaying a plain afternoon gown of a soft lavender hue.
Though her eyes relayed her distaste, Alanna reached for the gown anyway. "Will these shoes do?" she asked Meganne.
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Gary was so surprised at the sight of the lady waiting at the entrance of the courtyard that he didn't notice Alex's next swing and was thrown to the ground, the end of a wooden sword pointed at his throat.
"Still can't focus," Alex said, smiling victoriously. Gary didn't answer but instead pushed aside his sword and scrambled down the length of the court.
"Lady!" he cried. "I thought that you weren't coming." Gary took in her appearance with a pleasure that surprised him. Though still plain, the dress she wore seemed less constricting on her body, and her hair was casually swept to frame her face. He squinted at her, as if to reassure himself that it was really Alanna. "You look lovely!" he said sincerely.
"Is that what the rouge is for?" she replied dryly. Gary noticed the rosier pallor of her face and understood.
"Ah, no, lady, you always look lovely," he offered. He noticed that her gaze was directed over his shoulder. "Ah, I'm afraid you saw me bested by Alex."
"So, this is what distracted you," he commented as he approached. Alex nodded toward Alanna in acknowledgment. "Lady of Trebond."
"Not for much longer," Alanna said, looking to Gary. Alex laughed.
"Well! That was direct! She's just met you and already she's let you know what she wants. I will leave the two of you to discuss your children and vacation home in the Copper Isles, then." He bowed at the waist and doubled back to collect the wooden sparring swords abandoned on the floor. Alanna watched him without a word, and Gary shifted uncomfortably.
"Well, Alex is the best fencer at Court," he explained, and her gaze took on a look of newfound interest.
"Really, now? Well, then there's no need to let me stop you. Continue as you were, by all means. I'll simply stay here, out of your way." She stepped back, as if to emphasize her point.
"Ah, so you don't believe me?" Gary pretended to be upset, but Alanna seemed only annoyed at his teasing. Shrugging, he trotted back towards where Alex stood, watching them with a half-amused expression.
"She wants to see the best fencer in the court in action," Gary said, by way of explanation. "But don't beat me too badly."
"If you don't want your lady to know just how bad you are," answered Alex as they squared off, "you'll focus and fight like a man."
Though he tried, Gary couldn't compete with Alex, and, already tired, he clumsily deflected the blows. Panting, he soon again found himself pressed to the ground after only a few short passes. Alanna analyzed the fight with that calculating expression so commonly found on her features and nodded appreciatively at its end.
"Congratulations," she called to Alex from her end of the courtyard as she hurried toward them. Alex bowed to her in triumph and extended a hand towards Gary.
"Lady, your man normally fares better," he called back. "But since he has already been beaten once today, he didn't put up a hard fight."
"A real man would fight harder if he'd been beaten before," she commented, and both of them stared at her for a long moment. Finally, Alex laughed and thumped Gary on the back.
"And she attacks your manhood as well! You've more than you can chew in this one, friend, I'll say that." Alex took Alanna's hand. Somewhat reluctantly, she allowed him to kiss it. "Milady, were you satisfied with what you saw?"
"Of what I saw of you, sir," she replied. "You do certainly deserve your reputation as a great swordsman."
"And I, lady," interjected Gary. "Have I now lost your favor, as I'd known that I would?"
She gave him a cool look. "Well, if you want to keep it, you won't lose to Sir Alexander again."
Gary was silent for a long moment before laughing good-naturedly. "I don't suppose you'd let me win next time, Alex? Then I shall never allow you to see me in a fight again, lady."
"I think I'm stealing her away from you," Alex said, with something of a cruel smile. Gary forced a laugh.
"Then I will let you two become better acquainted," he said, bowing out. "I suppose I won't see you tonight at banquet, lady? No matter, I must prepare… for important matters this evening."
"Nonsense!" said Alex with alarm. "Lady Alanna, I will not let Gary waste an opportunity with you if I am to be the cause. Don't argue, Gary—I will be gone before you can."
Alanna's eyes followed him as he hurried back to the palace, leaving them alone together. "How long have you been friends?" she asked, as if offhand.
Gary didn't answer but stared at her hard, as if trying to see her thoughts. Alanna shuddered slightly and ducked her head away in an attempt to avoid it. "Don't look at me like that," she said sharply.
"I'm sorry, lady," he answered, but didn't move his gaze.
"Good knight, if you would please," she snapped, and began moving towards the direction of the palace. Gary followed behind at a steady pace. Neither said anything for the next hundred paces, Alanna shivering under Gary's look, and he, watching her shifting steps and the bobbing of the back of her head for the answer to her new cruelty.
Finally, he said with controlled evenness, "You seem different today, milady."
"It's the rouge," she replied automatically. "Or perhaps the dress."
Gary grabbed her arm to stop her movement. "No, I mean from last night. Have I… done anything to deserve your new distaste for me? Was it because of this morning?"
Alanna pushed away his hand and stared up at him in surprise. "What new distaste for you, my dear knight?"
"You seemed not to care for me back there," he said, gesturing towards the courtyard. "Or if you simply prefer Sir Alex?"
Burning slightly, Alanna guiltily pushed the thoughts of Alex out of her head. "No, Sir Gareth—Gary." She peered up at his blank expression and noticed the twitch of muscle at his jaw and brow that generally indicated forced nonchalance. She recalled in her mind the words exchanged between the three of them in the last fifteen minutes. "If you felt that I had unmanned you--? I apologize, knight."
He made a noise that resembled a scoff, and her lips turned downward in response. Gary opened his mouth as if to say something, but shut it abruptly. "You accused me this morning of pretending feelings that I didn't have, but it appears that you were the one with falsities." He bowed exaggeratedly, and stepped past her, his face a strange amalgamation of expressions she only half-recognized.
"At least I have reasons for mine," she said, her voice cutting through his steps and stopping him. He turned back.
"Oh, and what might those be, lady?" A cold anger colored his voice.
Alanna stood silently still, a strange emotion within her fighting its way to the surface. She considered first one answer, then another. At last, she said, in measured notes, "You are right, Gary. I have wronged you."
"Lady," Gary placed his hand above his heart in a wearily courteous fashion. "Your wrongs are no greater than those of any woman… And I cannot fault you for them."
"What is it that you say of women ?" The words were clipped.
"You say that men always tease," Gary said, "but you women always flatter and cut and deceive with the same tongue. First you are cold, then you wish to please, and then you are vicious. Lady, don't leave one impression and then immediately disregard it for another. It always makes me wonder if any woman is real, or if she is only the series of acts that she carries on, or—"
He halted, knowing that he had gone too far. Alanna's eyes were wild and a strange green fear seemed to stare at him from some depths within her.
"Forgive my tongue, lady. It normally will not carry on so, I don't know what is wrong with me this evening." He stared at her helplessly, wondering with horror if she were about to cry.
Instead, Alanna drew herself to her fullest height and stared at him with some proud strength in her features. "I have been," she said, "what you have said. But—" she faltered. "But only because…" Alanna stopped again, as if choking on the words. "Because I have been taught to act in such a way."
"Is that what they spend so long teaching you in the convent," Gary said wonderingly, with a shake of his head. "How to be deceitfully excellent actresses. I suppose then it is a compliment that they took so long trying to teach it to you?"
Her draw slackened for a moment as she tilted her head at him quizzically. Then, upon realizing that he meant well by it, Alanna pressed her lips together and nodded curtly. However, the light that shone out of her eyes was so full a smile that she could not entirely hide it.
"Last night," she said carefully, "I was—behaving as was required of me…as civilly as I could. There is a limit to how much I can pretend, and I will not fake such coquettish flirtation as… well, I can't even. And this morning… well, you caught me by surprise."
"And so your natural good nature was revealed!" Gary laughed, and Alanna lowered her eyes, lest he see the smile that was threatening to take hold.
"Well, I have not… spoken with anyone in years, really. I was surprised at… how much you could guess using so little." She stilled and now was smiling openly, vulnerably at him with a disquieting kind of seriousness. He read there, or rather, he guessed, what she left unsaid, about the years of neglect and the distance she'd attempted to put between herself and the nearest human soul.
Gently, Gary took her hand and kissed it with all the sincere tenderness he felt in that moment, and said quietly, "Allow me, lady, if you will, your trust." When the fear began to return to her eyes, he covered her hand in both of his and bowed his head. "I will keep your secrets, all the ones that you don't tell me."
Not answering, she simply looked at him, wanting to read all his thoughts as he'd read hers.
"We all have our secrets," she said. "It's not right that you should know mine."
"No," he said. "But you have so many, that it's only fair that some of them show. You are very mysterious, lady, but you can't keep everything behind your…acts and your … viciousness. I'd think that your actual nature would be far more pleasant. What do you fear by revealing it?"
"What if my actual nature was vicious?" she countered. "If I meant all that I said? That I don't think you're a man if you don't fight once you've been beaten?"
He winced. "That… is better than… acting."
"Is it? Then I say that a man would not be so upset by what I said," she finished, with a bit of defensiveness.
"But if I were such a man, there would have been no need for you to say such because I would have bested Alex," Gary argued.
"Exactly." Alanna stopped, confused at Gary's triumph.
"So, you see, you're not really so vicious after all," he said, laughing.
"I don't like people," she told him snappishly. "I don't like to talk to people. I don't let anyone touch me, and I'm not nice, and I'm—why do you keep smiling?"
Gary kissed her hand again. "See? You do trust me. I have your favor after all, and such a favor!" He was met with a glare.
"I hate you," Alanna said, but she didn't let go of his hand.
AN: At this point, I thoroughly hate Alanna—she's much too strong-willed of a character. I just wrote this chapter three times, with three very different results, in order to come out with this, a compromise. It's a good thing that I can get Gary to say more of what I'd like him to say or else this story would be getting nowhere. If Alanna had her way, it'd be three more chapters before she started opening up to anyone. I'd thought I'd speed things up a little and get the story going before I've bored you all away.