Disclaimer: No.
Chapter forty-three. Sorry about the delay, guys. I've been an emotional wreck, so I haven't written in a few days.
Note to Oogiemchtagghhhh: My monkey is neutered, thank you very much.
Note to MistOfDarkness: I am so deeply flattered! (: Thank you for your kind words! I cry a lot at fics too, and I'm not ashamed to admit it either. Yay for openness!
I was looking through the My Pictures file on my computer, and I have come to the conclusion that I am a BBRae fiend. I just can't get enough! I have collected so much BBRae fanart that it's not even funny.
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It took a few moments for the initial shock to wear off and for the Titans to take in all that had just happened. Until they were able to get a grip on reality, they stood motionless on top of the tall stack of crates, eyes bulging like four sets of dinner plates in their faces.
"Come on, guys," Robin said. His shock at the situation was painfully evident. Normally in battle situations he addressed them as 'Titans'. He was unwilling to show his lack of balance, however. He turned his gaze to the scene below them with his usual look of stern determination. Starfire lifted him under the arms and Beast Boy morphed into a pterodactyl and grabbed Cyborg by the shoulders with his claws, and the four headed for the ground. When they were all firmly planted on the weathered floor, they could do nothing but stare at the scene before their eyes. Plasmus lay restrained by strong, thick lamp posts, struggling, mysteriously unable to turn to liquid form and escape them. Raven lay a few feet away on the floor. It took Robin a moment to be able to sort out the situation.
"Cyborg, call the authorities and let them know we've got Plasmus immobilized here," Robin said. Cyborg flashed him a thumbs-up and stepped away from the others to get silence for his call, activating the phone built into his arm.
Robin gave no orders to Starfire and Beast Boy, so they did nothing. Robin turned his attention to Raven, and Starfire followed him over to the girl. Beast Boy refused to move for a moment, standing still, trying to keep all emotion out of himself. He lost the internal battle and followed the other two.
Raven lay completely motionless. Her black cloak was spread out behind her and her violet hair lay fanned out across the floor. There was no trace of pain on her face, only exhaustion. She lay there, still and completely helpless, and Beast Boy felt a twinge of something familiar stab at his heart. Something nearly shattered inside at seeing her lying there like that. Something hurt deeply about the scene. He felt a sudden, powerful urge to do something to help her, but there was nothing he could do. So he just stood still and incompetent, watching Raven's unmoving face.
"Is she…alright?" Starfire asked, breaking the uneasy pause that had worked itself over the three.
"I don't know," Robin said, bending down beside the fallen Azarathian. He reached for her arm and placed two fingers on her wrist, pausing for a moment. "Yes, she's OK, I think. She's alive, at least."
"Is she just unconscious, or is she in one of those weird trance things again?" Beast Boy asked, recalling painful memories of her lying in the Med Bay after he had 'attacked' her in Beast form. He felt a strange twinge of guilt that he couldn't explain.
"I'm not sure," Robin said, climbing back to his feet, still looking down at her. The three of them stood still for a moment, still too shocked to make much of an effort to do anything constructive. They stood there as worthless as wings on an elephant for a few seconds, unable to think of any solution to the situation they stood planted in.
"What was up with all that crazy shit she did with her powers?" Cyborg asked, coming up behind them as he was shutting off his arm-phone.
"No idea," Robin muttered blankly. "That was new, definitely."
"Do you think she needs medical attention, or what?" Cyborg questioned, regarding the unconscious girl carefully.
Robin paused to think this over. "It couldn't hurt," he said.
"Alright, then," Cyborg said, sliding his arms under Raven and scooping her carefully up off of the ground. "Let's get back to the Tower."
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'Why would she do this for us?' Beast Boy thought, perplexed. He ran a hand through his disheveled hair, pressing his forehead harder and harder against the cool wall, almost as though he were trying to sink into its solid depths. 'I thought she didn't give a damn about any of us.'
"Got a lot on your mind?" Robin asked. Beast Boy lifted his head and looked up to see Robin standing in the open doorway of the Med. Bay.
"Yeah, I guess so," he said softly, rubbing his knuckles into his eye sockets. "How's Rae?"
"She's stable," Robin answered with a slight nod. "She's in some sort of healing trance. I'm guessing doing that kind of work with her powers put a lot of strain on her body and mind."
Beast Boy was quiet for a moment. "Dude…I don't know what to think," he said. "She…saved our lives. Really. But I thought she didn't care about any of us. She definitely doesn't give a pony's tits about me."
"Beast Boy, are you seriously trying to tell me that you really believe she doesn't love you?" Robin asked, raising an eyebrow.
"What am I supposed to think? She ran off and left me. Twice," Beast Boy said, slightly agitated.
"You told her to go the second time," Robin protested, looking a bit bewildered.
"Oh, so now you're siding with her?" Beast Boy snapped, whirling around to glare the Boy Wonder in the face.
Robin took several steps backward, holding his gloved hands up in defense. "No, I'm not. But I would like to know exactly what the fuck your problem is. I know Raven hurt you, I know you're still resentful toward her, but you don't need to take it out on us. We can have our own opinions about the situation without needing to be blown up at for it. I've dealt with your outbursts up until now. I know it hurts, but it's time to grow up. I'm sorry to be harsh, but none of us like being emotional punching bags."
Beast Boy was looking at the floor. "Sorry, Robin," he said quietly. "I didn't think. I didn't mean to take it out on you guys. You didn't do anything. I'm really sorry I keep getting so mad."
"That's fine," Robin assured him with a light pat on the shoulder, dismissing the frustration at Beast Boy he had felt a moment ago in seconds. Robin always was amazing that way, how forgiving he could be no matter what had happened. "You can't decide your emotions. It's fine for you to be as angry as you want. Just don't take it out on us."
Beast Boy nodded. "So, what are we going to do about her…condition?" he asked.
Robin gave a light shrug. The door to the Med. Bay opened behind them. The silent forms of Starfire and Cyborg appeared in the doorway, stepping out to stand beside the other two. "There's really nothing we can do. Not until she's awake and we can do a full evaluation. Right now there's nothing to do but wait for her to wake up."
"How about I whip up some dinner?" Cyborg suggested. "Good food might calm everybody down about this. Maybe we can forget about all the shit we're going to have to sort out when she wakes up until the time comes to deal with it."
"Good idea, Cy," Robin said with a nod. "What are you planning on making?"
"I was thinking of spaghetti," Cyborg answered.
"With your famous three-meat sauce?" Robin asked with a grin. Cy nodded. "I'll help. Star and I can take care of boiling the noodles."
Starfire nodded. "Yes, that sounds most glorious," she agreed.
"Sounds like a plan," Cyborg said, turning with the others to head toward the kitchen. "You coming, B?"
Beast Boy thought for a moment, and nodded. "Yeah, I'll catch up in a minute, OK?" he asked.
"OK," Cyborg said with a nod. Beast Boy watched his friends disappear around the corner, and then stood motionless for a moment. He stood there stubbornly for a few minutes, trying to prove to himself that he wasn't too anxious to see her, and then he slowly walked into the Med. Bay, letting the door slide shut behind him.
Raven was on a cot a few yards inside the room. Beast Boy walked over to it slowly, keeping his gaze trained on the floor until he came up beside the cot, and then finally allowing his eyes to fall upon her face.
Raven looked more peaceful now. The look of exhaustion was gone and replaced by a blank one. The smooth, flawless white skin of her face and her soft violet hair drew his gaze to her and kept it locked there. She was so helpless, lying there with no control over her outward state. Beast Boy moved forward and rested his elbows on the cot.
"What am I going to do?" he asked the unconscious Azarathian softly. He wasn't surprised at the silence which she gave in reply, and he doubted she would have been any more helpful if she were awake.
"Please don't think that! You were good enough! You were always good enough! You made me so happy, Beast Boy! It was never your fault I left, not for even a second! I loved you! I love you now! I've always loved you, from the first time we fought you and brought you back to the Tower, from the first word you ever said to me! It took me so long to realize it, but I've always loved you! I never loved Malchior! You were always the one I wanted, the one I loved! Never anyone else! I never loved you on accident! I wanted to love you! I never wanted anything else! You were the only thing I ever needed! I'm sorry I was so terrible at showing it! I'm so sorry I made you think anything different!"
Beast Boy lifted a hand slowly and rested it on her forehead, stroking the pale skin softly. She was so pleasantly warm beneath his hand. "Do you really love me, Raven?" he asked the motionless face softly. He stared at her for a moment, trying to deny the emotions that boiled up from deep within. He leaned down without realizing what he was doing, his lips gracing her soft cheek lightly. He kissed her several times, lips brushing her skin at short intervals, and then lingering on her lips for a moment. And then he lifted his head quickly, slapping a hand onto his forehead. "What the hell am I doing?" he asked incredulously. "Of course you don't. How stupid am I?" he drew back away from her, staring down into the painfully beautiful face sadly. "You never did, no matter what you say."
Beast Boy backed away until his back was against the door, and then he walked through it as it opened, hurrying down the hallway toward the living room, trying to leave the emotions that tore at his chest behind him, but they could not be escaped.
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More soon. Wow, it's good to be writing again.