Note: Once again, I own nothing no matter how much I wish I did.
Elphaba stood at the window. She was staring at the lake, lost in thought. She had made up her mind to tell Fiyero her decision tomorrow afternoon. The trouble was she hadn't made a decision yet. She sighed loudly. She was glad Glinda wasn't back from the Philosophy Club. She needed to be alone.
Elphaba glanced at the clock on her night table. It was 3:30 in the morning. She groaned in annoyance. She had a Life Sciences exam at 8. She should be studying, but she couldn't stop thinking about Fiyero. She could still smell his cologne. The scent made her feel strange. It wasn't a bad feeling, just different. She had never had feelings for anyone before. Usually, she detested people in general. Something about Fiyero made her realize her loneliness.
She wanted to be like other girls. Not in the sense that she wanted to be what seemed to pass for normal, but rather to be in love and be loved in return. All her life, she had convinced herself that she could do without such an emotional need. Elphaba never expected to feel so safe and loved when Fiyero was near.
Love. The word was foreign to her. Had she ever been loved? She was tolerated at best, but she wasn't loved. She knew she could be harsh and unfriendly. Anyone in her position would be.
Elphaba didn't want to lose her identity though. She saw what happened to other girls. They would get so involved with their boyfriends that they became a part of them. They acted as if one couldn't possibly survive without the other. Elphaba vowed to never compromise herself to fit a preconceived mold. Would Fiyero shun her if she wasn't a submissive, silly creature?
"No," she thought, "he wouldn't." He told her a few hours earlier that he respected her individuality. He understood what it was like to be the victim of prejudice. He may appear to be a naïve tribal boy, but there was something profound about him. Behind his boyish features lurked wisdom beyond his years. Elphaba longed to uncover that hidden facet of his persona.
Elphaba yawned and walked over to her bed. She slowly undressed and sat on the edge. She pulled on her pajama bottoms and the black tank top she had laid out earlier. The room was stuffy, and Elphaba grumbled in discomfort. She went back to the window and opened it to air out the room. Having accomplished that, she began undoing her braid. She ran her fingers through her long, dark hair. She gripped the wooden handle of her brush and reluctantly stood in front of the full length mirror on Glinda's side of the room.
Her eyes slowly traveled from her bare feet to her face. She hated mirrors. She had no practical use for them. She didn't need to be reminded of her too-long legs, too-sharp face, and too-green skin. Elphaba wrinkled her nose in distaste. The Mirror Elphaba mimicked her. Elphaba hastily brushed her hair. The sooner she was away from the reflective surface, the better.
She crawled under the covers and glanced at the clock again. It was now 4:45. Where was Glinda? She was going to be impossible to wake tomorrow. Elphaba set her clock for 7 and placed her glasses on the table. She lay back and stared at the ceiling, hands clasped behind her head.
Suddenly, she began to cry. She could think of no logical explanation for her tears. She had been fine until she looked in the mirror. Why couldn't she be beautiful for Fiyero? She would settle for pretty. She knew he didn't care. It did matter to her. She wasn't sure why, exactly. She supposed she was afraid of losing him. She didn't want him to turn away once he got to know her. Her face tingled painfully where the tears had settled.
"You're being irrational, Elphaba!" she scolded herself, wiping her eyes with the sheet.
"Do you always talk to yourself when no one is around?" asked Glinda.
Elphaba bolted up. "You scared me half to death!" She hadn't even heard Glinda come in. The blonde giggled.
"Now you know how I feel when you skulk around."
"I don't skulk. I quietly survey."
Glinda shrugged.
"It's nice to see you made it back in one piece," Elphaba remarked.
Glinda flopped on her bed. "It was indescribable," she sighed.
Elphaba raised an eyebrow. Glinda turned to face Elphaba, her head propped up on her elbow.
"Can I tell you something, Elphie? You have to promise to keep it a secret."
Elphaba was disinterested, but she agreed anyway. Glinda toyed with the edging of the comforter.
"I think I'm in love with Avaric."
"Glinda, no! How can you even entertain such a silly notion?"
"What's wrong with him? He's handsome, he's rich…"
"He's spoiled, arrogant, and horrid! He will use you and throw you away, Glinda. I love you too much to see that happen."
Glinda stared at Elphaba. "What did you say?"
"Nothing," mumbled Elphaba. She turned her back to Glinda and attempted to sleep.
"Please don't be mad, Elphie."
Elphaba ignored her. She was fuming. How could Glinda be so irrational? She was a foolish, flighty female. The miniscule amount of respect Elphaba had gained for Glinda quickly dissipated. People disappointed her. Was it any wonder she distanced herself?
Across the room, Glinda huffed in annoyance. "The absolute nerve of her!" she thought. "She treats me like a child! It's my life. I can live it as I please." She pouted and rolled onto her back. She wasn't going to let Elphaba cynicism ruin her mood. Elphaba was just jealous, that's all. Glinda reluctantly got up and changed into her nightgown. She glanced over at Elphaba. The thin blanket rose and fell in a steady rhythm.
Glinda was slightly miffed that Elphaba didn't feel badly about snapping at her. She would realize her mistake eventually. Glinda turned out the light and climbed into bed. The soothing sound of Elphaba's even breathing lulled Glinda to sleep. The stars twinkled like crystal through the night.