Some words before we actually start.

I'm writing this because I want to know what I'm capable of writing.

Characters may seem different since I'm not as familiar with Touhou as other people on this site. We will be following some of the canon, but not always.

Odds are, this won't get a second chapter, but that depends on how it's received.

One more thing. I'm not going to try to write a "Post-war Gensokyo" so just imagine Gensokyo is in a different dimension where the entire Fallout series didn't happen.

Got everything? Good.

I'll talk a bit more at the end of the chapter.

…

…

...

[Mojave Wasteland]

3rd POV

The Mojave has been quite peaceful these last few months, despite the fact that their "leader" is a mentally unstable mailman who is hasn't been seen even once since he killed Legate Lanius and General Lee Oliver at the Battle of Hoover Dam.

Because of this, you wouldn't be surprised to know that people were reasonably shocked when the fabled "Courier Six" walked directly out of The Strip without even batting an eye any to its many residents. Of course, nobody wanted to confront him about it, as they were too afraid of being turned into a {Bloody Mess} at the drop of a hat.

Despite everyone's fears of inciting the Courier's wrath, rumors still spread like wildfire about his destination and his goal.

"He's finally gone looney from being up in that tower all day."

"He's abandoning us!"

"Maybe the NCR is trying to get back into the Mojave!"

Of course, none of these rumors got even close to the Courier's true motive.

For he was about to do something that no one in the Mojave, despite its many supernatural and horrifying occurrences, would even think possible.

Courier Six POV

The crashed satellite at the Mojave Drive-In has been giving out a strange signal since a few days ago, and I intend to find out what the hell happened.

I usually don't leave the Lucky 38 for a number of reasons, the main one being that Yes Man has basically all of our bases covered. I still need to file physical paperwork and all that jazz, but it's not that big a deal.

Normally, I'd send out a Securitron squad to go check it out, and I have already, but I've lost contact with every single one of them. I'm not worried about any threats, since I'm basically fucking invincible, but it never hurts to be cautious, since pain is still pain.

Now, when I had made it to the Drive-In, I expected to just check out the satellite and maybe pay a visit to the brains in jars at the Big Empty.

What I wasn't expecting, however, is to find all my securitron squads in pieces around the completely smashed satellite.

I immediately brought A Light Shining in Darkness out of my Pip-Boy's storage.

For those who don't know, which is everyone, I had the "good" doctors of the Big Empty make this little adjustment to my Pip-Boy that added an infinite storage space for me to carry all my guns, armor, junk, etc. I'm not exactly sure how it works, I think they called it "Hammerspace" or something, but what I do know is that if I just think about one of my many items being in front of me, it shows up, and I can store things the same way.

Anyways, back to the Drive-In.

I walked forward slowly, looking out for any ambushes or traps.

"If there's anybody here, come out with your hands up and I won't shoot you on sight." I shouted at the wreckage.

Silence.

"I'm warning you! You don't want to fight me!"

Silence.

"God dammit..." I sighed.

I lowered my pistol and checked out the destroyed satellite. It looks to have been smashed, cut, and burnt. Strangely, there were no bullet holes.

This couldn't have been Legion, since they disbanded not long after Hoover Dam, and the NCR knows damn well that they don't stand a chance against me, so then who would do this?

I got a clue when I heard the sound of something ripping open behind me.

I quickly turned around and raised A Light Shining in Darkness.

"Back u-" I couldn't finish my sentence.

Behind me was what I could only describe as a tear in the air itself with ribbons tied to the ends.

But that wasn't the part that left me speechless.

It's the fact that it was full of eyes.

And they were all staring at me.

"...What in the goddamn..." I muttered, after recovering from the shock.

I slowly started backing away, while not bringing my eyes off of the many other eyes inside of it.

*Riiip*

I immediately swung around and shouted.

There was another one.

I tried to quickly walk out from in between them, but another showed up in front of me.

"Jesus fucking Christ!"

I tried to run around it, only for another to open.

They began to slowly surround me, cutting me off every time I tried to run away.

"Shit, shit, shit, fuck, shit, shit..." I was starting to panic, and I was running out of space to run.

I tried to shoot them, only for my bullets to seemingly be absorbed.

I had been brought down to a small 1x1 meter box after being surrounded by countless amounts of rips.

I then had an epiphany, and slowly looked down at the floor beneath the boots of my Elite Riot Gear.

...

"Oh for fuc-"

*Fwoomp*

[The Void]

I'm falling.

I'm falling, and it's dark.

I'm falling, it's dark, and I'm surrounded by eyes.

They're looking at me.

"OH FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKSHITBALLSFUCKFUCKFUCK!" I screamed a great many profanities into the void, for its only response being countless dead stares.

I eventually used my muscular Implants to reposition myself to be looking down, or at least, what I think is down.

It was just more eyes, but I could eventually make out something approaching

It was another one of those rips, and it looks like I can't avoid it.

"Dammit! Alright, come at me!" I shouted, despite knowing that it couldn't hear me.

I spread out my arms, prayed to Graham, shut my eyes, and braced for impact.

Just seconds before falling into the tear, I swear that I could hear the sound of what seemed to be a woman's laugh.

[Forest of Magic]

**THUD**

"...Auugh..."

Oh, my poor, poor bones.

Good thing that I'm {Spineless} with an {Adamantium Skeleton}, or that could've been bad. Very, very, very bad.

I laid there in pain for a moment, slowly realizing that I wasn't dead.

When I started to stand up, I noticed that the left lens of my helmet was cracked.

"Good thing I'm right-handed..." I muttered.

I finally looked around, and realized something.

"Ho-lee shit..."

There were trees.

Real ones.

Lush ones.

Green ones.

And bushes too.

And flowers, and grass, and sights and smells that I had never experienced before.

What seemed to be hundreds and hundreds of colors I had never imagined were being thrusted before me without warning. It was quite overwhelming. The Mojave was always brown, brown, some green, brown, and more fucking brown.

But this... This was amazing. Is this what the old world looked like? Is this what it smelled like?

After my little bout of amazement, I began to realize what this meant.

"Where in the fresh hell am I?"

I didn't have time to think on it, because there was rustling in the bushes to my right.

I took a look over and waited for whoever it was to show themselves.

What stepped out of those bushes sent my mind into overdrive.

Standing before me was what I could only describe as a wolf-man. Man-wolf? Doesn't matter. The important part is that it looked like a man with wolf-like properties.

He stopped suddenly and looked at me, a smile growing on his face.

"What's this? An outsider? Good, I was starting to get a little hungry, hehe." He then took a stance.

I quickly recovered from my temporary shock. I then knew what was about to happen, so I wordlessly took a stance as well. He was low to the ground, so I assumed he was going to pounce at me.

I was right.

"Die, meat!" He shouted as he flew at me.

I waited until he was about to swipe at me, and then stepped to the side and gave him a solid punch to the gut.

Naturally, like all my enemies, his legs proceeded to explode into countless bloody pieces. Guess this is the side effect of being such a {Bloody Mess}.

"Wh- Huh-… ahh... Ahhh... AHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed in agony while trying to hold his bloody stumps after falling to the blood-stained floor.

I began walking up to him as he screamed.

"WAIT, WAIT! PLEASE SPA-"

I stomped his head into the ground.

"Fuckin' idiot."

I wiped his gray matter off my boot, left his corpse to rot, and began trying to get my bearings.

…

I've been walking this forest for about 20 minutes, and I've only just now found a path.

I played eenie meenie miney mo and decided to go left.

I whistled the tune to "Heartaches by the Number" as I walked to alleviate my boredom.

After walking for around 5 minutes, I heard another rustling in the bushes to my right. I immediately took a stance and shouted.

"Who's there?"

To my surprise they actually came out. And to my surprise yet again, it was a small, blonde child with red eyes.

"Hey mister!"

I let my guard down a bit, and decided to play along.

"The hell are you doing out here, kid?" I was reasonably confused, since she seemed completely fine.

"Just walking! Say, can I ask you something?" She spoke cheerily.

"Uh, sure thing."

"Can I eat you?"

. . .

I stared at her for a few seconds.

"What?"

Hey there, Author here.

From how this is going so far, you can probably guess how it would go in the future if I decide to continue, with Six kicking ass and trying to make it back to the Mojave.

Don't get your hopes up though, as it'll take a while to decide if I want to continue this.

Anyways, adios.