Chapter 5: Eyes for tears
Her fears manipulated her carefully.
His stares are very familiar. The way he speaks, the way he grips her, the way he smiles… it all flashes back the past.
"No!" She screamed. Her eyes felt heavier and heavier. He heard the gun roar and roar. Her heart beat got faster than ever.
Bang!
Red blood made her eyes widen. She shivered, quivered and shivered and shook. Her tears started to fall.
His eyes glared at her notoriously. As if she's a ghost or alien.
She felt herself tighten and trapped on a big wonder that could never even be predict by any theories.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Halelu, Halelu
Halleluiah
Halelu, Halelu
Halleluiah…
Halleluiah…
The Angels voice was as everyone could never ever imagine.
She is not a fallen angel. Not an angel who was sent to go down.
She's just a woman who praised God. Her voice was angelic like…
The usual thoughts of the people about an angels voice is…
Soft, lovely, sweet, tender, serenading, beautiful and very calm...
"Amen." She says as she does the sign of the cross. Slowly opening her greenish emerald eyes, the wooden house of the God says an ancient hello to her.
The church was old. Nobody cares to enters nor pass in that place. No more sacraments and priest for preaching.
The whole place was devastated, gloomy and dim or maybe the whole place started to be decayed by the time.
Like the outer layer of the earth, the surrounding tells her that the people invaded this place for such a very long time ago.
Her eyes… ever since she opened her eyes… it wasn't just the outer layer that she had seen…
She also saw the inner layer or inner part. The past… she shivered with her vision… there are lots of people who kills and was killed. Even those little innocent child and women, they pooled within their own blood. Soaked within they're own blood. Drowned on they're own blood. Blood. It was all about blood. Nothing but the red liquid called, blood.
Realization inside a cocoon would never be reveal unless it finally developed a butterfly to fly and explore the Zoroaster kind of world. Life is always between good and evil. The rusted iron just seem to be golden brown… but actually, it is like a living proof that everything's undergoing to changes.
Fragments of dust particles hung suspended in the stagnant of the air.
Coughing, she looks outside the broken glass… it's raining.
It's always raining… The water always pours and she hates the smell of the rain.
Sighing, she tries to convince herself that the rain was God's blessing. But she believes that when it rains, someone's crying for losing someone important. Or when it rains, someone's remembering a sad thing to remember. Whichever the reason is… she needs to find a place for shade.
She passes into a house. It reflects the dim church awhile ago. The rain is getting harder so without any thoughts, she quickly runs towards it. She shivers as the cold air sways towards her. It was cold as the corpse.
Her powerful greenish emerald eyes showed her some things aside from the mansion like house. Aside from it is dying garden, angel's statues and fountains…
A beautiful lady was really busy in organizing her Eden. She was singing a beautiful song. While she busied herself, a little boy approached her and gave her the most beautiful flower that could be found in the whole city. She was flattered and she was really glad. The boy was her little brother. She gently kissed him in his forehead and said that it was a lucky charm. They both giggled. Suddenly, a man approached her as well and gave her the most beautiful flower in the planet. She was shocked to see him. The man sweetly smiled to the beautiful lady and teased her and then the man said that he would appreciate it a lot if she'll kiss him too. The beautiful lady suddenly blushed. Then they both smiled. Her little brother teased them. And by this time they both blushed…
"Oh, my God" The door cracked open that revealed a tall guy, he's really good looking, but the linen in his brow made him look depressed and older. Wait, he looks like the man in her vision. Could it be him?
Both looks really shock. Both busy in observing each other.
The guy made the first query, "Who are you?"
"My name's Alyssa…"
He deeply looked into her eyes and introduced his self, "I'm Vincent. I live here." He let her in.
She's frustrated, but she trusted God a lot so she followed him, "Thank you."
Her eyes were like a rolling ball that thoroughly scans the whole place. It doesn't look old as it was outside. His house was made of woods which made it look warmer. Its style was classic and unique.
Vincent led her to the living room and left her there for awhile to get something to drink.
She carefully observes his house and she can tell that Vincent's a painter. A great painter… Looking in each painting she felt something different to the emerald eyed girl painting.
They were walking hand in hand… she smile at him and kiss him. Happy moments…
To sad moments… til blood started to pool… she was crying. She was screaming. She was wondering. He looks at her then point the gun towards her…her hands suddenly gets weak and the flowers fell to the ground. She gasps some air and looks at him merciful and confuse.
"Drink this." He gave her a cup of tea and sat somewhere in the corner.
Her daze snapped back to reality. She was out of breath. Her eyes were different from the others. Hers had a power to see the past and reveal some secrets. Just like in the church, she saw a bloody fight there… she didn't meant to witness everything, but she accidentally saw it, the sound of the blood replaced the sound of the rain… if it wasn't of the dust that made her cough maybe her vision wouldn't stop.
She doesn't know what to do now. She was a bit scared to know that this guy, named, Vincent… killed people who live here. But she hadn't seen if he killed the girl in his painting because her vision was cut off by his voice.
"Thank you." She sipped from the tea, she tried to calm herself.
Concentrating, she looks into his eyes… what she saw is really unexpected. It reflects sadness and regrets.
'A green tea...' She noted.
She tried to push her vision off her mind but it was already well sealed. Her vision weren't that clear. But she knew that it has a connection with the painting.
Maybe the girl in the painting was also the girl in the garden.
'Vincent eyes weren't that scary for me to be scared. He's not that mean.'
"Anything wrong?" Vincent with his crossed legs asked her.
"No… nothing." She lied.
"Her beauty is unique. I think she's more than beautiful." She shifted her stare into the painting.
"Is that so?" Vincent asked her without taking his stare away from her.
Alyssa nodded, still staring in the painting.
"I always thought of that."
She listens carefully to him. Her eyes weren't really emerald. Actually it was cinnamon. She's just wearing a contact lens today.
"And I always thought that her eyes were one of a kind. But I guess I was wrong, it wasn't one of a kind but rather one of the very few." He is still deeply staring into her eyes. Alyssa's logic started to form, "I believe that her eyes were one of a kind Sire Vincent. Mine's just a contact lens."
"It's not just really like what you thought." He smirked.
Alyssa frowned in frustration.
"Hers is different not because of its color. It was her emerald eyes that makes my heart wants to melt. It reflects everything. Yours hides everything but was too obvious that also reflects everything."
'What did he mean by that?'
"How is she related to you?" She asked him and although she already knew the answers she still wants to hear the truth from him… not from her eyes that might also trick her.
Vincent carefully stood from his sit. He sat in distance and shifted his position.
He sipped from his tea and shrugged "I never know. Up to now, I don't know." Vincent closed his eyes and sighed. "I hate it. She always appeared, either when I closed my eyes or opened my eyes. Do you know the feeling of being haunted?"
She dropped her mini white cup and it suddenly broke into pieces. Vincent's little question was short but really wild. Haunted? That single word already joined her ever since her mother gave birth to her. She knew that it was a gift. A gift that she needed to ignite… But she felt haunted. Most of the time, she'll just find herself crying.
"Are you alright?" Vincent was confused but he's not that really worried.
She shook her head. "I don't think so because… every minute, every second… I am being haunted. It feels worst than yours."
Vincent narrowed his eyes and decided to keep quiet.
"There are times when I would sob all day. Vincent, would you believe if I tell you that my eyes could…" she gulped, not knowing if she'll continue it.
"I'll believe you." Vincent promised.
Alyssa looked at the broken cup then to Vincent, "My eyes could see the past." She whispered.
Vincent's heart beats got slower. 'She could see the past?'
He stood from his sit, he walked towards the window and watched the rain falls, watch them hit the ground and transformed the soil into a mud.
"Water could always make ones really soft." Alyssa whispered to him.
"A mud." Vincent revealed logically.
Alyssa nodded to him although she was facing Vincent's back, a simple nod without any voice could imply. Not seen, not heard but felt.
"I want to help you… if you would just allow me to see your past with her." Alyssa sincerely said.
Vincent was quiet. He's thinking… thinking if he would allow her.
"Don't be scared to be hurt. I know that it would be hard for you, but the only way to let go of that haunted feeling was to face the things that's haunting you." Alyssa said calmly. Like an angel's voice that was soft and slow.
"Confucius said that, it is a man that makes truth great, and not truth that makes man great." Vincent said as his reply.
"Man's life is full of misery and you can only end it by overcoming it." Alyssa noted him.
"Why do you want to help me? What for, Alyssa?"
"Because I know that you still have a chance to live your life to its fullest."
Vincent faced her to look at her.
"And because I know that you also wanted to be happy. I know that everything's not forever… and that misery and regrets are not forever. I believe. So please... Don't be fooled by your own self." Alyssa pleaded.
Vincent sighed and started to walk out from her…
"Vincent… Please!"
When Vincent ignored her, she closed her eyes and one by one, she described the woman in his painting. "She had a silky purple hair that was extended above her shoulders, she had an emerald eyes and a velvet fair skin. She's pretty. She also had a little, sweet brother and a man she loves." Alyssa pointed out to Vincent that he had been fooling his self by not admitting that he loved the woman she's talking about.
Vincent's eyes widen.
"Be a man. Don't just run away. Because you could never really runaway from what you are running away." She said as she opened her eyes.
He's loosing his temper, "You know nothing."
"Wrong. I know something. I know a lot enough to say these things… Knowing that you've been in lo…"
"Stop it!" Vincent's voice echoed to the whole house. Alyssa wasn't distracted, it didn't even scare her.
"One last try, let me help you." Alyssa said as she tried to approach him. But he shoves her away.
"You're just making it harder for me. Even if you could understand my feelings… you never feel how it feels to be like this because you never felt this. Even if you knew everything, even if I admit everything, even if I recall it all and face it through reminiscing, nothing's gonna change because the only way to let go of this miseries was to face her, to talk to her in the present not through the past!" Vincent said.
"Can't you understand?" Vincent finally said softly.
"Don't be selfish. There are a lot of people whose suffering too, who's being haunted, and who's so sad, guilty and scared. You are not the only one who got a matter to face. And if facing her is the only way to save your dim life then why not start now and find her?" She said sadly.
They were so silent for a few moments, but Alyssa cut it off.
"You also didn't know how it feels to be like me. To be like this... to see the other people's lives and past, to see how gloomy, sad, fearful, awful, freaky, their lives and past are. And how could I just leave you like that when I know that you've got a bloody problem. I already saw some of your past and I'll be forever haunted if I would just simply walk away and pretend that I didn't see anything. It's hard… and you didn't know how it feels to be like this. But life always goes on. Please remember that." Alyssa started to walk away from him. They just met, who the hell is she to do such a thing?
Alyssa was facing the door… she holds the knob and started to twist it open. The air was cold, the rain was hard… but she didn't care.
"The incidence you saw happened two days ago. It seems so near but 2 days isn't just 2 days. It seems a decade for me." Vincent started to lay his cards. Alyssa turned around and knew that she should stay.
They get back to the same place where they were, in the living room.
"Our first meeting was awfully bad. I thought she's in her suicide trip.
Yea, she's really planning to kill herself but I just found out that she had been trying to kill herself but always failed to do it because she's afraid to hurt herself, she was still afraid to loose her life. She was drunk during that time and I was disgusted to see her like that. She caught me staring at her then she suddenly kicked, punched and hit me. I hated her ever since that day. You know, I'm a member of a syndicate, and then Mao, our leader gave a little order to me. He wanted me to kill the whole family of Valentine, Mister Valentine betrayed us, he already passed away but Mao still wanted me to kill his family. My mission was to disguise, like a little play where I should act. I need to make her daughter fall in love to me and then after that little job that is where my mission would started to play… and that mission was, killing Valentine's family including his daughter. And to my surprise, Valentine's daughter was the drunken girl I just met."
Alyssa could see every detail that he is saying. It was like an image without any voices… she could hear Vincent's voice that stands as her narrator.
So the moment he stopped, the presence of the present replaced the presence of the past.
"And your mission just ended two days ago?" Alyssa asked him.
Vincent nodded. "What else do you want to know?"
"Her name…"
"Faye." Vincent said.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
She gave up everything to him… her body heart and soul including her virginity. She was lying safely into his muscular arms that felt so strong. She smiled at him then started to make love to him again… She always cries and cries. She loved him so much.
'Vincent…' she started.
'I love you so much.' She said.
Suddenly, everything seems to be in a slow motion… she is confused to what is happening, but it felt so true. The scene was leaping and jumping to different part. She was drunk and wanted to end her problematic life, damn, she's the stupid bread winner now since her father already die. Her stupid and lazy mother always waste their money to nothing and none sense stuffs irritates her a lot. Her little brother was sick and she doesn't know what to do. They got a lot of tolls and debts to pay. She had been trying to kill herself for so many times now but she had been always scared and right now, she's all so ready to die BUT she saw someone staring at her. Her madness was poured to that man. He kicked him, hit him and punched him, feeling a lot better than before… she decided not to kill herself. The scene turned to be in a fast forward thing now. The flowers, the gardens, her little brother and Vincent, their dates, the days when he's courting her… and the day when she went back home to find her mother and brother pooled into their bloods. She heard the gun roar once again and saw that Vincent was the one who killed them. She was totally shocked… this man promised her that he'll protect them, that he'll love her… that… he's now aiming the gun to her… she shook at her thoughts. She's wondering… how could he do this! He betrayed her, he fooled her! And now he'll kill her. She needs to escape...
"Vincent!" She gasps.
Spike frowned. 'Vincent?'
"No!" Faye screamed. Finally, she was awake.
Scared to open her eyes, she slightly opens her emerald eyes and saw a two impair of concerned brown eyes.
Recognizing him, she sighed in relief… thanking God that she's with Spike.
"What… what happened?" she hasn't remember anything yet.
"Shin told me that you passed out. He told me that it must be because of fatigue." Spike explained.
Faye's mind started to function. Faye then knew that when Shin smirk, her hallucination started to form… she'd been hallucinating, she thought of Vincent and her fears manipulated her carefully and she suddenly lost her sanity. She forgot Shin and remembered Vincent. She really thought that everything was real. It seems so real. But it isn't. Her mind and eyes saw the past and thought that it was happening again.
She knew that her eyes always shed tears for them.
She could now remember the things that happened to her between Shin and her. She quickly responded to Spike to flow with their little lie, "Oh yea… I remember. I was too tired because I had entered each boutique." She said with sarcasm.
"How are you feeling?" Spike sat beside her as he gently lift her up to his arms.
"Feeling better now." Faye smiled.
Spike kissed her on her forehead and continued to embrace her. Faye was scared to be visit by Vincent but she feels no worry at all when she's close to Spike.
"Faye, who's Vincent?"
Faye's eyes widen. How did he know him? She thought that she'll be in peace to Spike… but how could she when he's even opening her fears?
Faye trembled… he pushed Spike off her.
That sudden reaction puzzled Spike. Faye was confused if she'll going to tell him the truth or deny it to him.
OOOOOOOOOO
When the past visits you in your dreams to play around and awakes the fears in your life and in your death… you'll figure out that your eyes are made to shed.
OOOOOOOOOOO
Disclaimer: I do not own cowboy bebop.
A/n: Constuctive: (is this really constuctive or constRuctive?)
Well anyway,
Hehehe… didn't really notice that. So I really appreciated your effort for correcting my stupid mistakes so ummm... "thank you." (", )
Mwah!
Thanks a lot to everyone who reviewed!
I just want to inform the people who care to read this that I'll be changing the title of this fic to, WALKING THROUGH THE VALLEY OF LIFE AND DEATH