Chapter 1
New Macross City, around November 2010*
Captain Lisa Hayes was sitting in the rear seat of the military car. She was lost in thoughts and didn't realize that the corporal on the drive had called her once, twice.
-Captain Hayes, we have arrived.
...Ma'am... we reached your destination.
Lisa winced: she quickly ran a hand through her hair and grabbed the regular hat that has been left on the seat. As she placed it on her forehead in front of the small mirror, she came across her reflection, it was true, she was tired, thin, almost underweight. Dark circles under her eyes that makeup couldn't hide. She pressed her lips together in a tight line, feeling a a bit annoyed, uncomfortable.
-It should take me about an hour
She said, absent-mindedly, to the corporal
-Just... wait in the parking lot
-Yes ma'am!
Then she got out of the car.
Lisa raised her eyes in the hazy light of a winter morning. They were always the same, that kind of mornings in this wasteland that once had been the territory of Alaska, USA. But now... Her gaze was caught on the stately sign on the wide building: "Military and Civil Hospital of New Macross City". The board flashed brightly as if it was night.
Lisa sighed and started to walk up the large staircase.
-I think it's okay if I just sit here.
She mumbled, not too convincingly.
She had taken off her hat and jacket and was sitting on the green couch: spine straight and legs crossed. Her gaze was steady, icy.
The doctor looked at her, intently.
She knew who she was dealing with. However, having never seen her in person, she was surprised by her severe and stiff appearance, which was certainly a bit intimidating. Despite this, she couldn't hide her young age. She scrolled the folder with her eyes:
Patient- Elizabeth Hayes.
Grade- Captain in New Macross Command Center.
Born in- Tokyo, Japan.
Age- 22.
Blood type -A**.
Previous pathologies - None.
Diagnosis - Insomnia and possible Post Traumatic Syndrome.
The doctor sighed
-Yes... if you don't want to lie down, you can just stay seated, Captain Hayes.
Lisa nodded but said nothing.
-And if it bothers you to have eye contact I shall sit there, behind you.
Lisa raised her long eyelashes and met the doctor's gaze.
Her gaze was radiant and sharp and the woman was captivated by her green eyes. They were very peculiar, she had never seen such a resolute look in someone so... young.
-That's not necessary.
said Lisa dryly.
The talk was very difficult. Something in her just refused to cooperate. But after fainting three times in the Command Center, Admiral Gloval sent her -or should be said- ordered her, to take counseling with a psychiatrist.
She hadn't just been fainting. Not only she collapsed and fainted. Many times she experienced nightmares, even while awake, and they were so real, so terrifying, that her hands would start to shake and all her blood would freeze. They were awful moments. Lisa would curl up in the fetal position wherever she was and stay still until the shock would pass. And once it had happened on duty.
Gloval was seriously concerned. She was not the first nor the last soldier who was experiencing PTSD after Dolza's lethal attack: it had been nine months since the Earth had been almost completely annihilated and the long process of reconstruction had begun...the SDF1 had returned home with its crew and all the civilians and together with the few survivors they started the atmospheric and soil restoration.
When he had summoned her to his office in the core of the new city, Lisa had worried. She was afraid of being reassigned. A new Command Center was springing up in what would be the new political headquarters of the United Earth Government, Monument City. She didn't want to leave Macross. At least Claudia and the bridge girls were in Macross: there was Admiral Global and the few friends she thought she had...There was He.
Well he... once he would come back.
-How long has it been since you've been able to sleep, Captain Hayes?
Lisa's eyes widened.
-Sir? I don't think I understand.
Gloval had grunted. His new dark blue uniform had given him an even more distinguished and imposing look. His office was clean, and almost empty.
-Have a seat, Captain. I'm not in the habit of giving these kinds of reprimands to my officers, especially since a soldier should take care of her own health. Not only for herself but for all the people who are dependent on her.
Lisa had blushed and automatically curled the edge of her skirt in her trembling fingers. A lock of hair slipped from her hairdo and rolled down her cheek.
-I'm fine, sir.
She had said with a small effort
-You're alright, uh?
A blue eye had flashed under the brim of his hat and was gazing intently at her.
-I've learned that in the last few weeks you have fainted while on duty, and once you had a sort of breakdown...
Lisa blushed even more and wrinkled her eyebrows in outrage.
-What!? I mean...I don't know what you talking about, sir!
-Ah Lisa! That's enough!
Gloval had stood up and walked towards the window.
-It's written all over your face that you don't feel well. And I don't see why you insist on denying it.
Lisa mumbled something intelligible, then raised her head.
-It's just a little bit of stress. I mean, who doesn't get stressed these days?
-No one is immunized from stress. Not a single person working for the reconstruction. But Lisa, you are tearing yourself apart. I know you're not getting any sleep and often you're panicking.
Lisa gasped as she thought furiously about who might have informed the Admiral. Vanessa? The newcomer Makizaki? Claudia?
Its Claudia, for sure! I'm gonna strangle her!
-Sir, it's nothing I can't deal with!
Gloval lifted an arm as if to silence her.
-I see there is no cooperation from you, Captain Hayes.
Lisa parted her lips, then shut them.
-This is why I'm ordering you from now to have a medical checkup at the New Macross City Hospital and start a psychotherapy session that will determine if you're currently suffering from PTSD.
-PTSD?!
Lisa jumped to her feet
-I didn't give you permission to get up, Captain!
She sat back down with a thud.
-Are we all clear?
Gloval returned to his seat.
-But...but, Admiral... will I be able to keep working?
He looked at her in amazement. She was truly an irredeemable workaholic.
-If you pursue the therapy that the doctors decide is right for you, I don't see why you cannot keep working.
Lisa squeaked a relieved smile.
-Captain Hayes. You are an officer who is too valuable to RDF in general, and in this time of reconstruction. I want your health to be at its best at all times. Do you understand that?
Lisa tilted her face like a girl who is being rightly scolded for her stubbornness.
-Yes sir. I'm sorry.
-Good. On your way out you'll meet Major Grant with the medical tests list. Please start immediately... You' re dismissed.
Lisa's eyes flashed with pure hatred
-Yes sir!
She said snapping a salute
I'm gonna kill her...
-So Captain Hayes, shall we get started?
The doctor stood up from her seat and approached the window.
-Where shall we get started? You choose.
Lisa grabbed the rim of her skirt and crumpled it with both hands.
Where to start...where?
A sudden flash of the Grand Cannon preparing to fire. A rumble, so loud she had sworn it would perforate her eardrums. Her father was so proud of it... then the blast and fire. The smell of ANYTHING burning. It was such a distinct memory.
-I... I have nightmares...
The doctor furrowed her brows, listening intently.
-This is why I can' t sleep.
-Mmh, go ahead Captain Hayes.
-I mean... I can fall asleep, but still I wake up 10, 15 times in a night. Sometimes I have downs and...
Lisa did not realize that her voice had turned shaky: but this detail didn't escape the doctor.
-I...it's like I'm constantly reliving Dolza's attack, over and over...
-In your dreams do you replay events from throughout that day?
-No, no... not exactly.
Lisa shook her head.
How was she supposed to tell her that? She cleared her throat and tried to regain her cold and professional voice.
-Listen doctor, give me something to sleep. I... I will be fine
The woman ignored her.
-It's hard for everyone... Pretty much all of us have lost a dear one during the -ehr... Rain of Death. Those of us aboard SDF1 and on the Apollo satellite had landed on a ravaged Earth. We are now trying to move on. But there is no denying the great loss we are experiencing. You, Captain Hayes ... you lost your father.
Lisa reddened and felt her eyes burn.
Tears...
-You don't have to be ashamed of that. You have to focus on yourself and the people still alive around you. On what they can still give you and what you can give them.
Lisa squinted her eyes.
-Hey! -Captain Hayes!
The young officer was waiting for her at the end of the stairway facing Lake Gloval. The sky was incredibly blue and some new bird broods had just flown out of Dr. Lang's lab with their own wings.
They would fly for hours in the skies of New Macross and then would come back to the nests that had been set inside the recovery center. It was only two months since the destruction of the Earth.
-Isn't that awesome?
he said pointing to the sky
He wore a shy smile on his face, as unsure of what to say.
Lisa flushed as she stepped toward him.
Something inside her had ignited since that day when he'd reached into the abyss of the burning Alaska Base with his Varitech and saved her life. But it wasn't exact to say that something had lit up that day. That little spark had already been burning in her since she'd left the battleship for Earth, and he'd sent her that morse code... telling he would miss her.
Or maybe it all started even earlier, when they had been trapped for long hours during the transformation...
-Lieutenant Hunter! At ease!
Lisa smiled back at him and then, as usual, they took a walk on the footbridge overlooking the lake.
Lisa couldn't tell when they had started to do it, but it had become a little moment, a little habit of the two of them alone.
-Lisa...
his voice brought her out of her thoughts
-..I...I've been called to the mission to... the Apollo Satellite...
She winced and turned towards him.
-What?!
Her voice was overly alarmed.
Rick Hunter winced in his turn. He wondered if he had said something wrong
-And you... you said yes?!
She said, trying to calm down. She carefully ran a hand through her hair, her cheeks burning.
-I... well... there was no way of refusing...
Lisa felt a hole opening up in the middle of her chest. It grew bigger, like a chasm.
She knew all about the Apollo 1 program. A number of Varitech pilots would be deployed around the artificial satellite to monitor any Zentraedi fleets still hovering around the solar system and eventually engage battles and force them to leave. Anyway, it would be primarily a patrol mission.***
-Whe... when are you leaving?
-Tomorrow.
Rick kept walking, but Lisa had stopped.
So Rick had been selected for the mission on the Factory Satellite. Six months. The mission would last six months. At that very moment she realized that this whole time... they would have to be apart. Lisa was stunned... why did it hurt so much? Rick somehow noticed that her face had become gloomy. He placed a hand on her shoulder. His grip was gentle but firm. Lisa looked up and met his bright blue eyes... as blue as the Earth's sky before the holocaust. He smiled encouragingly. Lisa realized that she could no longer live without those moments... without those smiles... his smiles.
-It's only six months, okay?
Sometimes his listlessness just made her want to slap him, but she had struggled to nod and just smile back.
-Yeah...
They ended up at a cheap diner and Rick ate an incredible amount of yakisoba. Then they headed home into the warm night. He had asked her if she wanted to drop by his place for some tea, but Lisa was so shaken and nervous that she just couldn't think straight.
She felt she could burst into tears at any moment, and that simply could not happen.
The next day Rick left for Apollo, bringing the entire Skull Squadron with him. Lisa had been watching the whole takeoff from her screen on the empty flight deck, with a pounding heart. She was alone, again.
"You must focus on yourself and on the people still alive around you; on what they can still give you and what you can give them..."
The people still alive...
Lisa let go of the hem of her skirt and started smoothing it to ease the creases.
-You want to tell me about your nightmares, Captain?
-Well I...they are always very...similar...
Lisa glanced out of the window: clouds were massing, low on the grey sky: they hinted at a coming storm.
-I'm... I'm at the base. In Alaska Base, I mean.
All of a sudden her face became flushed and hot.
-Do you already know about my... rescue?
The doctor turned around and eyed her with curiosity: she could see that Lisa was flushed, her lips trembling.
-Yes... Lisa are you all right? Would you like a glass of water?
-I'm alright...
she muttered
-Do you know that Lieutenant Hunter rescued me from the exploding base?
-I know the dynamics of that salvage. Everyone knows in New Macross City... it was truly brave and reckless of him!
Lisa tightened her jaw.
-You asked me about my nightmares and I'm telling you. In my...
She squeezed her eyelids, her long eyelashes flickered.
-In my nightmares, most of the time I relive this event. Lieutenant Hunter arrives at my station, where I am trapped behind a security door... I yell and call out for him, but he doesn't hear my screaming and I...I keep yelling, but I don't know how... I... see him leaving...he gets off the base without me and I...
The doctor noted a few lines on her pad and looked at her carefully.
-And I yell "Rick! I'm here! come get me! I'm right here!"... but he doesn't hear me and leaves me alone... and in that very moment I know that... that I'm going to die.
Lisa breathed in loudly
-Then I wake up.
The doctor nodded
-This dream... is it the same every time?
-Uh? Yeah, well... I mean... there are some details that change, but basically it's just the same dream.
-You... I noticed that in the dreams, you called Lieutenant Hunter by name...
-Yes , ehr, I...
She stammered
-I assume that between you and him there is more than a strictly professional relationship...
Lisa's eyes widened. Instinctively she grabbed the hem of her skirt again.
-What? Oh no! No, no... there is nothing, I mean I...
- You have frequently served together, even on dangerous missions... during the Space War...
Lisa nodded
-It's true, well, I can say... that yeah, we're friends... I guess...
The doctor didn't miss that Lisa's face brightened when she spoke those words: a small smile flashed across her lips. She noticed that she looked much more younger, and pretty, when she smiled.
-Lisa, where is Lieutenant Hunter? I mean he is serving on New Macross, I suppose.
-Oh no... he's not...
Lisa's features turned gloomy again, her brows furrowed.
-He is ... he's on the moon, on mission on the Apollo Satellite, for six months ...
The doctor nodded several times in knowledge: she started typing fast on her tablet.
-And... when is he coming back?
She said casually.
-I...
Lisa wished she could say she didn't know: it was hard to talk about Rick Hunter, she didn't even know why.
-Why... do you want to know about it?
The doctor smiled, and after casting a glance at the watch, sat down at her desk.
-I will prescribe you a terapy to regulate your sleep Lisa, and you also need to take a mood stabilizer for 6 weeks. We will be meeting every seven days.
Lisa instinctively stood up. She ran a hand through her hair several times. Her palms were sweaty.
-That's all?
-It was easy, wasn't it?
-Ehr... I... I guess so.
As she headed for the door, the doctor called her back.
-And, Lisa? Try to surround yourself with people you can still build something with. Don't disdain their company, it's precious in these moments of uncertainness for mankind.
Lisa placed her hand on the doorknob, then she turned three-quarters
-In five days...
She murmured
The doctor glanced at her quizzically.
-In five days... in five days Lieutenant Hunter... will be back on Earth.
When she closed the door behind her, the doctor grinned in contentment.
And as Lisa walked down the grand staircase of the New Macross Hospital, a gust of icy wind tossed her hair: her heart was racing at the very thought. In five days she would have seen him again.
-Captain Hunter there is a new message! Captain Hunter you have a new message!
The android plugged into his mailbox lit up his single eye and looked for the figure of its owner in the dim room
-Captain Hunter!
-I heard you, I did... shut up...
He was lying on his single bed, the lights off. The window on the left wall disclosed the darkness of outer space: by this time he could glimpse the dawn breaking over the southern hemisphere of the blue planet.
The Earth...
His new position forced him to fly a long patrol circuit through the vastness of space practically every day...every boring day. Without no one to talk to, he often spent his time in the dorm staring into space. He even felt nostalgic for the days of risking his life while on board the SDF1. He had forgotten almost everything about real combat: the struggles and the pain. More than a year of fierce battle had tempered him into a true soldier... and now, he was just starting to hate being a soldier... In the corner of his mind, there was always a longing for battle, and he hated himself for it. And as he thought about these feelings, his mind lingered on his senpai Roy, who had died in battle, and the people, who were far away on Earth...***
Rick Hunter stared at the magnificent sight with deep longing. Then he lifted himself onto the bed and turned on the small lamp on the nightstand.
He was wearing a Skull Squadron t-shirt and a pair of comfy pants. His hair was a mess, as usual. He rubbed a hand over his nape and switched on his device.
For a moment a feeling flashed through his mind.
Minmay...
But soon he shook his head. It had been almost 8 months since he had seen her in person.
He didn't even know if she knew he was there on the Factory Satellite.
Well... I didn't even bother to tell her.
He had thought that this detached behavior would spark her interest, her curiosity or... whatever. But actually, nothing had happened at all.
Minmay and Kyle were touring the Earth. And they were together. Plus Minmay had never tried to contact him.
Yet that day... 9 months earlier, during the attack, they had both confessed their love for each other and finally...finally he had kissed her****.
Rick accessed his mailbox
The message in the subject line just said something like "Hi!"
Rick squinted his eyes and started to read. A small smile softened his features, immediately.
Lisa!
It was a message from her. Commander Hayes. Rick sighed, whoever else was texting him? Aside from Max -just once or twice - no one else but her.
The message didn't say anything special. Updates on the Command Center, on the Zentraedis' status, and the ongoing building of Monument City. Dr. Lang had successfully had an animal park built. There were dozens and dozens of sheep.
Rick burst into a chuckle.
Lisa usually ended the letter with a rather formal "see you soon," but this time she had added a few emojis. A smiley one and a little heart.
Looking at it Rick felt something melt inside. A kind of softness. He reread the letter a few times...it was silly, but that little red heart made him feel better. He went back to bed and turned out the light.
Just five days... and I'll see her again.
He realized that when he thought of Lisa, a whirlwind of feelings always leave him exhausted.
In a way, he was almost scared... and besides... she was the one who was scary.
Just like a demon...
he thought
Rick Hunter shut his eyes. His lids flickered in the darkness.
But sometimes she could be pretty...
He remembered vividly when he had attended her birthday party the previous March**. He had been amazed to see her looking so pretty in a green wool dress that ended far above her knees.
-Happy birthday... you... look... good, Commander Hayes!
Lisa had blushed and had twirled a hand in the air, as if to chase away his compliment. But she had smiled.
Then it had come naturally to a hug.
He had hugged her before. When he'd rescued her from the Alaska Base for example, he'd held her so tightly he'd forgotten to breathe.
Truth be told, he had even kissed her. Twice, on Dolza's ship. Even though at that moment it was the least thing he wanted in the world. Or so he had believed. But that day, in that cozy green dress, he didn't want to let her go. He sensed the tiny bones of her ribcage beneath his fingertips. The soft firmness of her breasts pressing against his chest.
Lisa had lifted her eyes to him: she was blushing.
-Rick...
she had whispered.
Then he had let her go and walked a few steps randomly around.
Sure, he could remember very well the warm feeling of that woolen dress and her soft, heady-smelling hair.
He vividly recalled her smooth, silky skin: how the red stains spread across her neck and face and her green, sad eyes...
Commander Hayes...
At those memories his belly seemed to overheat.
Rick grabbed the pillow in disgust for himself. He crumpled it with his hands several times, turning it over under his head, then tossed it across the room and lay down on his stomach, in the darkness. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a muffled groan.
Just five days...
he thought.
then fell asleep.
to be continued
notes:
*the story unfolds in the two-year gap between episode 27 and episode 28 of the tv series
**Lisa (Misa) blood type and her birthday vignette are taken respectively from Macross IV and Macross Classic (radio dramas released in the 80s and 90s)
***From Shoji Kawamori's essay The Two Lost Years. During the reconstruction Hikaru (Rick) spent six months on a patrol mission to the Apollo satellite.
**** In episode 27 of Robotech Rick and Minmay confess their love to each other before the main battle, unlike the original Macross in which Minmay tells Hikaru that she likes Kaifun (Kyle)
Hello everybody! Here I am back with a new story:))) ! I'm glad that some of you liked my proposal of writing something about the timegap between episode 27 and 28 of the series.
In this fic, set in the Robotech universe I intend to combine the official timeline with the original Macross one and with McKinney's RT novels. As Anita suggested me, I had a look at all the og Japanese source material like Macross Classic and Distant Fading Memories. Thanks!
Also I wanted to say that I was inspired by two beautiful fics I read years ago: Reconstruction Rumours written by Mia1 and posted in the old version of Robotech dot com website and Evi's Lamentacion de Otono.
Well I hope you enjoy this first chapter and thanks again for reading and for being here!
Love Mao :*