Ramna ½: A Wedding
Disclaimer: I don't own it. It ain't mine. Don't sue me, I already owe to much money as bit is.
"I told you everything opened up and let you inYou made me feel alright for once in my lifeNow all that's left of me is what I pretend to beSo together, but so broken up inside 'Cause I can't breatheNo, I can't sleep I'm barely hangin' on"-Kelly Clarkson, "Behind These Hazel Eyes"
The entry bell to Uc-chan's dinged as Konastu turned from the night's dishes to welcome the customer, "Welcome to Uc-chan's may I help…"
Ukyo scrambled behind the grill, past the kunochi, up the stairs and slammed her door.
"What happened?" the gender confused boy asked.
"The worst thing possible," Ryoga said. His body and mind was numb.
"She said no?"
"Worse, she said: 'yes…'" the pig-boy exhaled. Talking about the conversation they had the misfortune to overhear caused the heavy chi to swirl about him. "just, not to me."
"Then she is getting married to…"
"Ranma," Ryoga finished. "Konastu, I'm tired could you take me up to the room. I want to sleep."
"Sure," Konastu placed Ryoga's hand on his shoulder. "Ryoga, shall I help you pack for your return trip home?"
"I'm not leaving yet." Ryoga said as they started up the stairs.
"But I thought you would be leaving after you received your answer from Akane."
"I am… I mean I was… I don't know." Ryoga sputtered. "I don't want to leave until I know that Ukyo is going to be alright.
The kunochi frowned, "But…"
Ryoga walked into their shared room, "Look Konastu," he said, looking over his shoulder at the boy, "I know this is a bit of an inconvenience but I just can't leave a friend."
"I understand."
Ryoga nodded his head, sat down on the bed and watched as Konastu walked towards Ukyo's room. He lay on his back and looked up at the ceiling. He was exhausted, but he couldn't rest. His mind kept wondering back to Ukyo, and the heartbreak on her face, as she heard Ranma propose to Akane.
Cologne and Moose looked up at the ceiling as glass shattered upstairs. Muffled screaming seeped down to the ground floor. "Shampoo is awake," Cologne said.
The blind boy shuffled nervously in his chair as he looked down at his tea, "Do you think she's going to try to stop it?"
"Yes, against all better judgment." Cologne frowned. "Are you going to help her this time?"
"I… I don't know."
Cologne raised an eyebrow.
"I have made a promise, but…"
"You love her?"
Moose nodded his head. "What about you, old Ghoul?"
"Not this time, Mr. Part-timer. The council has made alternate arrangements. I will not interfere."
The blind boy looked up at the elder, clearly confused. Cologne patted the boy on the back and hopped back to the kitchen laughing.
Konastu fidgeted back and forth as he rapped on Ukyo's door. She was upset and needed to talk to someone.
"Go away," the girl's voice said.
"Ukyo, its me," the kunochi replied, "would you like to talk?"
"No."
"I know you hurt now, but things will get better I promise." Konastu listened closely at the door. He could hear Ukyo sniffle. "It hurts when you love someone who will not return your feelings." Especially when the one that you love is in love with Ranma. He could never say that of course. Not now, it was too soon. But it allowed him empathy, and that was something. "I understand how you feel."
"You understand how I feel?" The voice on the other side of the door had a feral tone, causing the gender confused boy to distance himself from the door.
"You know how in the hell I feel?" Ukyo continued as she flung open the door. "When he left me the first time, I threw away my childhood, my life and my femininity in pursuit of revenge. I trained day and night. I fought against the cold ocean. Trained in the snow, rain and sometimes hail, with only my hatred for Ranma to keep me warm. All for Ranma.
"Then, ten years later, when I find him, do you know what I did to him?" she asked
"Nothing." Konastu said, as he looked at the floor. He knew the story by heart
"I did nothing. Because he looked up at me with those blue eyes, and he told me that I was his cute fiancé. All of those years training. All of that hatred I had saved up. All that I had left in my life, and I sacrificed it again for him. Sacrificed everything in my life… again. Because of that dammed smile.
"I've bit my tongue around that witch he's getting married to. I've plotted. I've schemed. I've lied. I've been the best friend he's ever had." Ukyo shook with rage at her waitress, "I've given him everything I am. And what did it get me? Nothing." Ukyo grabbed a vase from her night stand and threw it at the door. It shattered. Shrapnel sliced the gender confused boy's face as he stood in shock. "So don't you stand there and tell me that you fucking understand." Ukyo raised a fist to the kunochi.
"Ukyo, stop." Ryoga said as he grabbed her arm breaking her swing. "I'm not going to let you hurt Konastu."
"Don't start Ryoga, you don't know how this feels." the spatula girl pushed the pig boy. He didn't budge.
"He chose someone else." Ryoga pushed her on to her tail and back into her room. "Get over it."
"You don't understand." Ukyo cried, "He was supposed to choose me."
"What made you think that?" Ryoga pushed her again. The cook, tripped and lost her footing. Loosing her balance the girl stumbled backwards and fell through the second story window. Ukyo tucked her head behind her in a flip to regain her balance and landed on her feet in the alley below.
"Because I was the cute one, damn it," Ukyo looked up at the lost boy from the pavement. Ryoga leapt down from the window, and landed next to the hazel-eyed girl. She looked up at him with broken eyes and cried, "He told me I was the cute one…"
"I know." Ryoga wrapped his arms around her and held her. Her chi was heavy. Almost as heavy as his own. As they stood there, their chi swirled around, intermingling. The boy looked down at Ukyo, gently brushed the hair from her eyes and then turned to the heavens.
"Lion's Roar Attack," he yelled as a column of chi erupted from the pair, shot up into the sky and then fell back to the earth. The couple stood in the middle of the explosion unharmed, their desire to end their lives keeping them safe.
Ukyo looked up at Ryoga and smiled before loosing consciousness. The lost boy was so warm. Somehow, his warmth crept from his body and into hers. Their hearts tingled.
Konastu watched as she collapsed in the lost-boy's arms, and frowned. This was not good at all. He would have to put an end to this once and for all.
Ranma and Akane stood at the top of the stairs. Her knees were shaking. Ranma smiled, reached down and grabbed his fiancée's hand. The ring on her finger felt awkward as it rubbed against her finger. The tomboy looked up at her knight in shining armor and smiled.
"We can do this," he said, "as long as we stick together."
"Hai." But the butterflies warned her otherwise.
The pair descended the stairs for the first time as a couple. Their hands intertwined, knuckles white as they latched on to one another for support. In the dining room they could hear the rest of the family gathered around the table for breakfast.
"Mr. Soatome, would you like some more rice porridge?"
"Why thank you Kasumi, I don't mind if I do," followed by the soft sound of sword scraping scabbard. "Never mind, I think I've had enough."
"Genma dear, you are doing so well on your diet," Nadoka said.
"So, Nabiki, when do you move into the dorms at Tokyo?" Soun asked.
"For the last time, daddy, I'm not…"
The table went silent as the two fiancés walked into the room, hand in hand and sat at the table. Nadoka hid her smile behind her sleeve, as Soun glanced out the window for symbols of the approaching apocalypse. The diamond on Akane's hand sparkled like a beacon. Nabiki sighed in relief; this would distract her father for a little while at least.
"Please pass the soy sauce," Akane said quietly.
Genma leapt to his feet and danced around the table, "Now the two houses will be joined. Praise be to the ancestors."
"This is wonderful," Kasumi smiled, "have you set the date?"
Akane swallowed, "Umm… next week?"
"So soon?" Nadoka beamed, "My son is so manly."
"You know what this means," Happosi leaned toward Nabiki, "Wedding Lingerie."
The couple blushed. Meanwhile, one member of the family was unusually silent.
"Ranma, Akane." Soun placed his chopsticks over his soy sauce bowl. "While I am happy that you have decided on a course of action I cannot let the two of you wed. At least, not yet."
"Why in the hell not?" Ranma stood, flipping the table. Akane, reached up and grabbed the pig-tailed boy's pantleg, taming his temper in an instant.
"When did I tell you at the last ceremony that you could get married?" Soun asked as he brushed rice from his lap.
"When we had taken care of our external circumstances," Akane replied quietly.
"And have the two of you done this?"
"No, he has not," the short haired girl told her father.
"My son is not the only one with external circumstances," Nadoka's voice was frigid. "Thus, neither can I approve of this match until you have resolved yours as well."
"But dear…" Genma started. Her sword scraped the scabbard again and Ranma's father went silent.
"We should give them till the end of the week then?" Soun asked Nadoka.
"Yes this seems reasonable enough."
Ranma sat back down at the table. Akane's hand found his and gave it a small squeeze. This was better than the expected, though worse than they had hoped.
Konastu crept into the room that he shared with Ryoga. The proposal was botched. The lost-boy continued to live with Ukyo-sama and himself. Konastu did not like this, not at all. But maybe he could find something that could help.
He started with the backpack. Ryoga's belongings were still largely contained in his backpack. Ryoga never unpacked, instead he lived out of his bag. Only the clothes that he had worn over the past month sat in the drawers. The lost boy's side of the room was Spartan. If he had anything of a personal nature that the waitress could use to get rid of him, it would be in the backpack.
It was full of packages, each bearing the name Akane. Gifts that would never be given. Not now, not ever. Konastu sighed, and placed the packages back in the backpack. There was nothing here, nothing he could use. Or so he thought, until his hand brushed past a long ridge of bound envelopes.
"What's this?" he asked. Konastu pulled his hand out of the backpack, bringing the envelopes with him. Love letters. The gender confused ninja smiled; here was something he could use, a name. Akari Unryuu.
Shampoo bounded down the stairs, bubbling to the disbelief of the Amazon elder who watched her from the kitchen.
"What has you so cheerful, grand-daughter?"
"Shampoo have plan… Shampoo know how to separate Arien and Kitchen Destroyer. Shampoo, just need antidote."
"Antidote?" Cologne raised an eyebrow. "An antidote for what, pray-tell?"
"The potion Akane give Arien that make him propose. When have antidote Arien realize mistake Arien making. Arien leave violent girl and come back to Shampoo. All Shampoo need is antidote."
"Ah," the elder sighed, shaking her head softly. The first stage of grief. This would be more difficult than she had hoped.
"So, Grandmother when will Grandmother and Shampoo make antidote?"
"I'm afraid your on your own this time, child."
"Why?"
The Amazon Elder turned her back to her granddaughter and began setting out the ingredients for the days special. "First, there is no antidote to make. Second, even if there was, I cannot help you this time. The council has made other arrangements."
No, Grandmother, I refuse to believe it…
"Japanese, Girl, Japanese." Cologne scolded as she lightly tapped the girl on the head with her staff.
"Grandmother, will help Shampoo… Shampoo insist."
"You insist, do you?" The old ghoul laughed, "My dear child, when you have seen all that I have in life… The rise of the Mongol emperors, finding a mate, the fall of the Mongol emperors. The fall of China, and the beginning of the European 'Sphere's of influence.' The great civil war that killed my mate. The rise of the communists, and the great cultural revolution that almost killed us all. Not to mention burying children great grand children and their decedents… No, you are 600 years to young to order me around."
"But… Grandmother." The tears brimmed up in the young girl's eyes.
"Child, I know that you think that you love him."
"Shampoo not think, Shampoo know. Grandmother not understand," the Amazon cried as she ran out of the room. "No one but Shampoo understand."
Mr. Crocodile huddled in front of Tatewaki's door with two of the other three male members of the Kuno household. Normally the soft, pink, fleshy creatures in front of him would rouse his appetite, but with mistress on a rampage, his feeding instinct was overwhelmed by his survival instinct. Odds were that if she crossed his path tonight he would be a handbag by morning. That's where the soft, fleshy, pink creatures came in. Without spines or scales the creatures would make easier targets for the mistress. After all, when he was in this group, he did not have to outrun the mistress, only the soft, pink, fleshy creatures.
The elder, soft, pink one knocked on the door of the strange creature that carried the stick. Mr. Crocodile nodded his head in agreement, adding another, weaker member to the group would be a good strategy. "Hey, Tachi, open up de door for de big kahuna, brother. We be needing to talk."
"Foul createn, I told you to never call for me in such a low manner ever again. You will address me as Kuno Takewaki, as befits one of my station," the would be samurai said as he opened the door.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Brother. Look its about little Sister. Me no think Kodachi be feeling to well, and me and the boys be thinking you should talk to her."
Sasuke, and Mr. Crocodile nodded their heads in agreement, a living sacrifice might appease the mistress.
"How, bad could it possibly be?"
An explosion shook the house as Kodaci's maniacal laughter sounded through the house. "Ranma-sama is mine, you inpetulant girl."
The eldest Kuno smiled at his son. "Dat bad."
Tachiwaki sighed, "I do not wish to do this at all." The three other males gasped inhaled in terror, if not Tachiwaki then who would be the sacrifice? "But I have given my word to another… Where is she?"
"In da green-house."
"Very well, I'm off then."
Mr. Crockodile, Sasuke and Kuno watched as the youngest male walked to his doom, completely unarmed. "Dere goes a brave brother."
Sasuke smiled, "It's amazing what a man will do for the right girl."
Mr. Crocodile shrugged his shoulders in ignorance, while Principal Kuno raised an eyebrow at the servant. There are some questions which should remain unanswered.
Konastu twirled the phone cord in his hands as he stared at the number he has scrawled on the paper next to Akari's name. His stomach cramped. "Come on, girl. It's not that hard, all you have to do is press a few buttons and say a few words."
But it was more than a few words. This was going to hurt Ukyo-sama. She had been getting so close to Ryoga lately. Speaking to him in soft tones. Crying unabashed on his shoulder. Talking until the wee hours of the morning. The gender confused boy grinded his teeth. Staying in his room. The lost boy had to go.
One call and Ryoga was gone. This Akari girl would come, and he would leave with her. And Ukyo-sama would be crushed again. She was starting to develop feelings for the strange boy. It would be just like with Ranma again, only worse… because it would be again.
Only this time it would be his shoulder she would cry on. Ukyo would speak to him in soft tones. Talk to him until the wee hours of the morning. He had to make this call, and then he needed to become a man whom Ukyo-sama could love. The gender-confused boy dialed the number, and waited for the voice on the other end.
"Hello."
"Hello, is Akari Unryuu there?"
Nabiki stood in her younger sisters doorway, and watched as the young couple sat scheming a solution to the external circumstances. Ranma sat at the desk, his scowling head leaning on his fist. Below him Akane sat at his feet, her arm wrapped around his leg. They looked so cute when they were scheming together.
"Ok, I'll tell Ukyo when I ask her to be the made of honor," Akane said as she threw her hands in the air in frustration. "But I don't understand why you insist that I can't be there when you ask Ryoga to be your best man. He's such a good friend, and I want to tell him myself."
"Just trust me," Ranma said, "You don't want to be there; it will be hard enough to tell him with out you."
"Why would it…"
Nabiki coughed, and the two teenagers scrambled to their feet, "We weren't doing anything."
"You know... when you react like that," the mercenary said trying to suppress a giggle, "you're asking for a hand check."
"A what?" the pig-tailed martial artist asked. His short haired fiancé whispered into his ear, and the teen blushed. "You mean we could do that?"
Akane jabbed Ranma in the ribs with a sharp elbow, "Not till after we are married… Pervert."
"I'm not the one who knew what she was talking about, tomboy."
Akane quickly stuck out her tongue at the boy.
"Could you at least wait until I leave before you start flirting with one another?" Nabiki sighed.
"Don't look at us, you started it…" her sister smiled.
"Touché…" Nabiki laughed. That seemed to come so much easily now, the laughter. It had been so hard since mother died, and then…
"What's up, sis?" Ranma asked.
"Nothing," Nabiki lied, "I've just been talking to… Wait, did you just call me sis?"
Ramna shrugged, "Practice?"
"You aren't a part of the family yet." The mercenary arched an eyebrow.
"Nabiki, stop giving my fiancé a hard time, and who was it that you were talking to?"
"Oh, yeah," Nabiki said as she leaned against the door frame. "I talked with Kuno-baby yesterday."
"About what?" Akane asked.
"The two of you." The middle Tendo bit her bottom lip. "Let's just say that one pair of your external circumstances has been taken care of."
"How?" Ranma asked, sitting on the bed in confusion.
"Everyone has a secret. Some people are just willing to pay higher prices to keep their secrets than others."
"And how much was Kuno willing to…" Akane asked, trying to wrap her head around the story her sister was telling her.
"He promised to give up on the Pigtailed girl, and the Goddess Akane Tendo. He will agree to keep his sister in check as well… or else."
"How… why…" the couple stammered.
"How is one of my secrets," Nabiki smiled, "As for why… it's your wedding present. It was the least I could do after last time."
"Thanks," Ranma said, "this means a lot."
"I know," Nabiki smiled as she turned to walk away, "Just keep those hands where we can see them."
The two teenagers looked down at the floor in embarrassment, and then back at each other. Akane's mischievous grin caught Ranma's eye.
"Tomboy, why are you looking at me like that?"
The ancient elder looked down at the letter that she had written the tribal council where it sat on the table along side the note that had accompanied it on its return. This was not a good sign. Something bad was happening at the village.
Due to political instability in the area, we are unable
to deliver this post to the given address. For further
information please contact the embassy in Tokyo
Cologne, lit her pipe, and meditated on the meaning behind the note. For the first time in many years she was afraid.
Kuno wrapped on his sister's door. The house had grown unusually still. And while Kodachi could be pompous, elitist and bothersome, she was his sister. A situation which required that he show some concern from time to time.
"Foul witch, are you alright, or should I call for the servants to cut your body down from the rafters?"
"And why would they need to do that?" the Black Rose asked from behind the door.
"Well, I was hoping that you had already hung yourself."
The door opened, and the dark haired girl greeted him with a smug smile, "Sorry to disappoint, brother dear. But as you can see I have no need to dangle my body from the ceiling like some strange fruit hanging from a tree."
"Ah, so it is to be poison then?" Kuno asked.
"Why would I want to poison myself on the eve of my engagement?"
"To whom, and why haven't I met the man?"
"But brother dear, you have," Kodachi smiled. "Don't you remember Ranma-sama from your school? Or have you taken one to may blows to the head?"
"Ranma?" Kuno looked at his sister in confusion.
"Well, he was out shopping for rings yesterday, surely the rain kept him away last night, or he would have proposed then," Kodachi beamed. "Is it not wonderful? It's just like a romance novel, where I am the lead… And Ranma is my knight in shining armor."
Kuno looked at his sister mutely and nodded his head.
"Now if you will please excuse me I must be ready for my Ranma-sama when he gets here," Kodachi said as she pushed her brother away from her door, and closed it behind her.
Kasumi sat at the table in the living-room with Nadoka, as the two of them looked over catalogues and laughed together. Kasumi sighed, "Oh, Auntie. Things just won't be the same around here when you get your apartment fixed again."
"Tell me about it Kasumi," Mr. Soatome smiled, "It's been nice to have someone around for girl talk."
"Things just aren't going to be the same when you're apartment's repairs are finished."
"Oh, please," Nadoka rolled her eyes, "You know I'll come by every few days for to visit my husband… after all, you didn't think I was going to take him with me did you?"
The eldest Tendo giggled. "Auntie, you're terrible."
A petite cough from the corner cabinet caught. A diminutive girl stood in the corner, her mouth covered by her sleeve.
"Well, hello…" Nadoka said, turning in her chair.
"Hello…" the young girl replied.
"It's Konastu isn't it, the male kunochi?" Kasumi asked.
"Yes, I am."
"I remember father talking about you. May I get you some tea?" the eldest Tendo asked as she picked up the kettle.
"Thank you, I would love some," the gender confused boy replied as he walked to the table.
"Konastu… Oh wait I remember you from the wedding… you came with Ukyo. I'm afraid that my son isn't in right now, but if…"
"Actually, Mrs. Saotome I'm here to talk to you." Konastu interjected. Nadoka gave the boy an appraising look and motioned for him to continue. "You see, I was raised by my stepmother and two sisters to be a girl. I've always been happy like this in the past but…"
"There is a girl, isn't there?" Nadoka sipped her tea. "And, I bet she's in love with my son, isn't she?"
Konastu nodded his head. "You and your husband raised Ranma to be a man among men. I thought that if that is what she wanted, then maybe I should…"
"And you want me to help you become a man among men?"
The kunochi nodded.
"Well, Kasumi, what do you think?"
"Well, Auntie, it will definitely be a challenge."
Mrs. Saotome smiled, "The life of a Martial Artist is filled with peril, and one cannot back down from a challenge"
Konastu looked at the two laughing ladies and trembled in fear.
Shampoo sat at the table in the kitchen. Her eyes framed in a raccoon mask. She had not slept for two days. Dreams were not coming easy to the girl as of late. Her thoughts would not let her sleep. They kept drifting to the rooftop.
"Have some tea." Mouse placed a cup of dark liquid on the table in front of her.
"Shampoo want nothing from Mousse." The pink-haired girl half-heartedly pushed the cup aside with the back of her hand.
"Shampoo…"
"Shampoo not understand how Kitchen Destroyer do it. Violent girl no steal potion from Grandmother. Must have taken from Doctor."
"Shampoo, it's not a potion."
"Potion will be hard to reverse without knowing what potion made from."
Mouse sighed, she was not listening. She had not been listening for two days now. Cologne had tried to tell her after she finally came to. "I know this is hard for you to accept. I listened to you cry yourself to sleep last night. But Ranma loves Akane. You can not change that with either a potion or a plan…"
"Grandma said Grandmother not help this time." Shampoo whispered to herself, "But Mouse help, no? Mouse always help."
Damnit, Mouse yelled at Shampoo in Mandarin. He leaned across the table, knocking over the teacup, spilling the tea on the floor. He does not love you. Don't you understand. You lost, she won. Game over. When are you going to get this through that thick skull of yours?
I did not loose. I never loose. Shampoo shook with rage, I'm the strongest warrior in the village. I have been victorious against much greater foes than that clumsy, clueless, Japanese home wrecker who thinks she can steal my man.
Damnit, woman, he was never your man. Why do you refuse to listen to reason?
Maybe, it's because you're yelling at a bush. Shampoo's eyes dripped venom as she stared at the blind boy.
"Shampoo, I'm sorry." Mouse's shoulders slumped as he lost his composure. Meekly he turned from the fichus.
"Mouse, silence." Shampoo's voice turned to ice. "Shampoo not need Duck-boy's help."
Mouse watched as Shampoo turned away and climbed the stairs to the café's living quarters. The tap of a staff clicking on tile surprised him, as the wrinkled elder tossed a dishrag over his shoulder.
"Clean up your mess, Mr. Part-timer." She said, as she turned back towards the Kitchen, "The tea is dripping onto the floor."
Mousse down at the puddle of tea that was collecting on the floor. The elder was right, it was time to clean up the mess. "Hey, old Ghoul…"
"Yes, child?"
"Can you do without me for the next few nights?"
"That depends, why?"
"I have a promise to keep…" the boy said softly.
A small hand rested sympathetically on his shoulder. No, the last few days would not be boring at all, "and miles to go before you sleep, I'm afraid… miles to go before you sleep."