Disclaimer: I absolutely own my plot and my original characters (if there are any). Other than those I own nothing.
Arietta
Sixth Piece…
Want…
Author's note…
First off, I want to apologize for not doing Kira's version of the promise. In process, yeah, but this one just came to me, bugging me for quite a while now, so I had to get it out of my system before it messed with my brain more than it already had (and I have midterm this frigin' Friday, too!). So, I hope this one won't disappoint you guys so much. (blush) I know some will run away screaming, yeah, since this one is obviously…(loss for word)…(finish lamely)…incest. But hey, this is AU! I repeat, AU! So…maybe in here, Cagalli and Kira are not sister and brother after all. Ah, what the hell! I'll let you decide, then.
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OOCness ALERT!
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Little note – Seed time but quite AU nonetheless…. AA returned to ORB on the fifteenth of May (phase 37), so I say this one is a day or two after that.
What I want…
"It'll be your birthday soon, right? So, is there anything you want in particular?"
…is what I can't have.
His fingers faltered, but only for the briefest fraction of second, before they were back again to their same unerring rapid steps, typing different types of commands, adjusting and putting final touch to the program as he was requested to by Erica Simmons.
He glanced at her fleetingly.
What I want…
There she was, sitting on his bed with her back leaning against the wall and her legs stretching out before her, looking all comfortable and at ease as though this was her own room and not his, as though he was here to visit her and not the other way round, as though…
As though she belonged here. With him.
…is what I shouldn't want to have.
Keeping his eyes to the screen, he replied, calmly. "…Nothing. I don't really want anything."
What I want…
Bang.
"Ouch! What was that for?"
She scowled, the thick report of the latest situation which she had been reading, and used to hit his head just now, clutching in her hand.
"Just what I thought you would say," she muttered, glaring at him, looking more than a little annoyed.
…is what I must not have.
He glared back, trying to look exasperated but failing miserably.
What did she want him to say anyway? It's not as though she – or anyone – could give him want he really wanted. Ever.
So, he told her exactly that. Except the last part, of course.
I keep telling myself that over and over…
True, there was no real anger in her eyes, but the scowl, combining with the glare she was giving him, was quite enough to make him feel like wilting away and die.
After a moment, she sighed and turned away, throwing her hands up in the air. "You're always like this," she said, exasperated. "Holding back. Saying that you don't need anything, that you don't want anything even when you have nothing and deserve almost everything for all that you have and haven't done."
...that I should stop and forget…
"And when you want something someday, by then, you won't be able to say it. There will be nothing that you can do but watch it, letting it slip away just like everything else. Keep holding back and denying, soon you won't know how to fight for something anymore! Not even…" her voice trailed off.
...but I can't help wishing, wanting still.
Hands clenching and unclenching, he tried to calm the fierce emotions that were raging and burning so painfully inside his chest, threatening to overwhelm him.
It's wrong.
Taking a deep breath, she turned around to face him once more. This time, though, instead of the expected exasperation and annoyance that she had displayed earlier, her eyes showed only sadness and… Was that – no it couldn't be – wistfulness?
"Not even if it's the most important thing in your life. Something that won't come your way ever again. Kira, by then, you won't be able to tell or recognize what is it that you want, truly want, anymore."
But I want…
His control snapped and the next moment, what happened, was all a blur and a swirl of confused emotions….
He kissed her.
…you.
Just as suddenly as it had happened, it ended.
He quickly let go of her shoulders, properly horrified by what he had just done, and stumbled back a few steps.
She looked at him, merely looking at him and blinking. She was still surprised, he supposed.
Too much. The pain, this longing… he had to go. He must go before he…
He bit his lip and looked away. "I'm sorry, Cagalli," he said, his voice hoarse and quite. "I'm very sorry." And, turning from her, he walked away.
Shaking hand reached out to the panel to open the door, and stopped half-way as her voice soft voice floated to him.
"Why…did you apologize?"
He did not dare to answer. His hand fell, he looked down at his feet. Please…don't do this.
"I like you. No, I love you, Kira. Or, that isn't how you feel, too?"
It's wrong.
He closed his eyes for a brief second before opened them again and stared hard at the ground. Maybe…maybe…
"Cagalli."
"Kira?"
"I want…you."
"Yes."
"Even before now, I…I've always wanted you."
"Yes."
It's madness.
"All this time, I've held back. Until now. Even now."
"Yes."
"Is it all right? Is it okay if I don't hold back anymore?"
"Yes, Kira. It's all right."
But God above…
Letting out a breath he had been holding, he turned around slowly and faced her. Soft lavender eyes had darkened to the color of deep violet as he gazed into her warm amber ones.
She smiled and held out her hand to him. "Kira."
Cagalli…she doesn't know anything.
His hand moved to the switch, and the light went out.
I'm the one who's wrong. I'm the one who's guilty.
He walked to her, took her hand in his, and drew her into his arms.
Sin…Punishment…Anything… I will take them.
Her head rest on his shoulder, she closed her eyes and let out a sigh of contentment. "Kira…"
I won't ask you for anything more…
Kira pulled away slightly, holding her close still. Never…as long as he lived, he would never let her go.
His hand brushed gently over her cheek and, for the first time in a long, long time, he smiled a genuine smile of true happiness. Just for this once…
So, please…
"Cagalli…" he whispered.
For once, let me have what I want. What I truly want.
"I love you…" He bent down, closing the small distance between them, and kissed her…
Give her to me. Give me…Cagalli.
Just as he had always dreamed…Just as he had always wanted…
(melt) This must be the…the…oh, I don't know! Just something that has to do with fluff, cheese, smut, whatever…. Anyway, I come just as close as I can be, if I'm not there already. But really, watching Destiny make me feel really sad and bad for Cagalli. So, I think I should stick with Seed from now on. Unless Fukuda can pull something out and improves everything, which I doubt he can.
Arietta has more than 1000 hits! (faint) My god…
Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone!
mariad – Kira's version will come soon! Thank you for all your reviews, I really appreciate them! You're one of the people who I'm really anxious to know the opinion when I write something. Thanks!
moi – haha, I don't know. I don't think I will be able to pull a stunt like that again, though. Thank you, I'm glad you approve of it.
Inulover4eva – I hope this is a happy Kiracaga enough to cheer you up? My field is really not in romance, but hey, I tried! I hope you will come back to writing again. Thanks for your review!
Lord Rance – Right? Actually, the taboo about incest is just about that, right? To prevent the – er – something, some difficult scientific word (my apology, English is my second language). But since, a lot of things have been done on Kira's genes…probably they are not quite related anymore. Though it's still a fact that they share the same father and mother…same blood but different – er – stuff? Oh, I don't know! Thanks for that, by the way. Good point.
djb21212-Steeldramon21 – You're right. He ruined it, though, in phase 39. Okay. So maybe not really ruined it but still… It looks to me as though if Kira was put in a situation that he had to choose between Cagalli and Lacus, he would, without a second to think, choose Lacus. Or so it seems. Not that he will ever be put in such situation anyway. (evil smile) And not that I won't try to get him into one. Of course, the Kira I have is different – very different from the one we have in Destiny… Thanks! I hope you like this one, even though it's shamelessly…wrong.
SJ – Sorry for the late but here you are.
Gauri – Glad you like it!
Danyu – (blush) You really know how to make a writer blush with your compliment. (smile) Thank you, but I don't think my work can be compared to most of the others out there. I still have to do a lot of practice. Thank you for your review!