Thanks to my wonderful reviewers! I was rereading this story and was like, MAN, it has no plot, and is just humor and nothing but. So updating really shouldn't take as long. So here is another chapter, and thank you times a gazillion for putting up with me.

Anywho, in this chapter, Atsune's love of LotR is revealed. Bear with me, I'm so obsessed, and it's only mentioned several times. Oh, a little language in this chapter. You have been warned! .

Chapter Three (Number of Working Brain Cells In Atsune's Head)

Anubis and the others settled in the living room, and Cye passed out tea for everyone.

"Sooo…Anubis…" Kento said slowly, unsurely. "What brings you back to life?"

Rowen smacked him upside the head. Atsune sat beside him, staring at Anubis. He intrigued her. But then again, shiny pennies intrigued her, so that didn't count for much…

"Oh, you know, being Ancient One, you pretty much don't have to go by the laws of nature…" Anubis replied, waving a hand dismissively. He glanced at Atsune and leaned over to Ryo. "Is she quite alright?"

Ryo had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. "Sometimes we wonder."

"Sometimes?" Sage added in, arching his eyebrow.

Atsune's eyes narrowed. "Shove it," she muttered.

This time it was Anubis's turn to stifle a laugh. "So, where's Mia, anyway?"

Everyone turned simultaneously to look at Atsune. And we all know how she hates being under the spotlight.

She began to writhe uncontrollably. "The stares, they burns us, precioussss!"

Now everyone was DEFINITELY staring at her.

"STOP LOOKING AT ME, DAMN IT!"

"Yeah, we think she and Mia switched places…" Rowen explained.

"Wait, what? Does that mean Mia's in my place?" Atsune suddenly looked horrified. "Nooooo! People are gonna think I'm a loser!"

"Well, if you look like yourself, she probably does too," Kento offered as means of comfort.

"I'm going to ignore that loser comment," Ryo smirked.

"I have a reputation to uphold!" Atsune declared, slamming a fist down on the arm of the chair. "If I start prancing around in cardigans and armpit-high shorts, people will look at me as a geek instead of a obsessive lactose intolerant homicidal crazy person!"

"You're lactose intolerant?" Cye asked nervously. She nodded. "You do know there's milk in that tea, right?" he gulped.

Atsune froze, and then slowly opened her mouth so all the tea she was about to swallow drained back out. Her voice went dangerously low. "Who flippin' puts milk in tea? WHY DON'T YOU JUST FEED ME A LAXATIVE AND SAVE YOURSELF THE TROUBLE!"

Cye winced as she began to run around the house, freaking out. "What are the symptoms of lactose intolerance?" he asked Rowen.

"Um, nausea…diarrhea…cramps…But it depends on HOW allergic she is…"

She seized onto Kento's shirt collar. "I am VERY allergic. I'm fucked. But if I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me!"

Kento laughed nervously.

She shook him lightly. "I'm glad my predicament is so funny to you! Hey, why are there two of you?"

"Huh?"

"And why is the room spinning?"

"Um, it's not?"

"Someone turn down the heat, I'm roasting!"

"It's 50 degrees in here…"

"Quiero a mi mama…" (I want my mommy) Then she passed out.

Cye rushed over. "She has a fever!"

Her hand suddenly shot up and grabbed his. She pulled his arm down and began to cuddle it like a teddy bear.

Ryo shook his head. "She's not unconscious, just asleep,"

They laid her on the couch, and for the next four hours, had to put up with her delirium.

"Ohh…the squirrels are coming! …………..Oh no, someone stole the lake!………………. Why, Legolas, of course I'd like to dance………….…we aren't in Kansas anymore Toto………..…but why is the rum gone?…………..bloody pirates……………that's a nice bologna peg leg…"

And so on and so forth.

Sage, who's turn it was to watch over her, had developed a nice little twitch.

Ryo came over to relieve him of his…duties.

Sage stood slowly. "Don't EVER make me do that again, or I will be ripping out someone's vocal cords! And you are unfortunately close, Sanada."

Ryo stared wide-eyed at him. Sage never lost his calm like that.

"Uh, why don't you go sit under a waterfall or something, kay buddy?" Ryo suggested timidly. "Or you could use Kento's punching bag…"

Sage got a devilish glint in his eyes. "Hel-lo misplaced aggression!"

Ryo eeped as Sage stalked away. "What have I gotten myself into!"

Atsune turned over in her feverish sleep.

"But what about…second breakfast?" she mumbled in her sleep.

TBC…

I apologize to all those who have never read LotR or seen the movies. If you haven't, my advice: Do so!

Don't mind me, I'm—

Atsune: Freakishly obsessed?

Yeah, that about sums it up.

Atsune: Crazy?

Well, I made you up, didn't I?

Atsune: Yeah. (pause) HEY!