Foreword:
Thanks to all my reviewers! Yes, even you, self proclaimed 'my girlfriend'! It got this fic out faster than I expected.
Grains of... Half-truths.
Oneshot Series x Spam
Ficlet Three: Shit Happens
Character: Rock Lee
Lee had always been a faithful and hard-working student.
Born with a handicap that would force lesser ninja-trainees to quit, he strived to become stronger, so that someday he may prove that hard work can surpass geniuses.
And though his looks will never get him on a calendar (at least with his face intact), his more outstanding features were his determination and his naive and honest ways.
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
Of course, all of that gets thrown out the window when your first impression of him is the scene before you.
Neji and Tenten had inched away, fully disturbed by the spectacle. Despite the adaptability of the human construct, this was one event that would never fail to make them uncomfortable.
Eventually, Lee and Gai separated from their hugging and returned to their rightful places.
"Oh students of mine!" Gai wailed theatrically (though theatrical from an outsider point of view, everyone on the team knew how serious Gai was really being).
"The time has come and things must move on! Your burning youth is at an impasse and cannot be delayed any longer by your clever and astute teacher."
Then he straightened and Lee mimicked the gesture. Both men's eyes glistened with unshed manly tears.
"So it is with a heavy heart," Gai choked, "that I dismiss you for today. Training adjourned!"
Then he burst into tears, as did Lee.
"Oh, except for my cute Lee." Gai had somehow resumed looking none the worse for wear when he said that.
"I must speak with him."
Neji and Tenten just left wordlessly. There really was nothing to say at this point. As much as they liked their teacher, his odd attitude would always leave them violated (in a way they couldn't explain) at the end of the day. He'd already turned Lee into a Gai-clone -perish the thought, that same fate will befall the rest of them.
Once both of Lee's teammates were out of sight, Gai then began on the reason of why Lee remained behind.
"Firstly, I must tell you of something important..." Gai said, placing a hand on Lee's shoulder and preparing him for what was to come.
The bowl-cut jounin then weaved an elaborate tale of daring heroics and a love that carried over various centuries, in a bid against all odds and various deaths to build character!
Needless to say, it had far too many adjectives and references to the passions of youth.
And not only did it bring Lee to tears, but had forced him to his knees as well. (In a crying fit sort of way and no other. NO OTHER.)
"And this comes to my point..." Gai exhaled heavily. "I believe you're listening to me, so everything that I told you before is irrelevant. Forget it and pay attention."
Lee wiped the tears from his face and complied, standing tall. The idiotic and pointless story had been easily discarded and forgotten, for Lee knew that his teacher was always testing his team at the most inopportune of times.
"It has come to my attention that you have been using a forbidden technique of mine..." The teacher's eyes narrowed, gazing directly into Lee's... spheres.
Lee gasped audibly. He would never willingly disobey his teacher! Sacrilege!
"No Gai-sensei! I would never employ the Lotus for anything less than for my precious people!" He denied vehemently.
"I had thought so." Gai nodded in approval, but his relieved demeanor changed to accusing just as quickly. "But it is not the Lotus."
"Nor the gates." He slipped in, just when Lee opened his mouth to rebuke again.
A tortoise immediately appeared underneath Gai, raising the jounin teacher a few feet above his own student as to appear more domineering and he took the stance of one hand in the air and the other had the thumb and forefinger touching, to which he saw through with one eye on his student.
To anyone else, the effect was less domineering and more... flamboyant. Questionable and flamboyant. Neji and Tenten knew that too well.
"In fact, you have been using a technique that I had not taught you. And had never intended to teach you." He loudly proclaimed. The sun had caught the shine on his bowl-cut just so.
Lee gasped audibly. Gai refusing him a technique?-! Pure madness!
"Not for the reasons you may think." Gai quickly intercepted that thought, before Lee turned hysterical.
"You see, I had created this technique years upon years ago, when I had been a mere candle to the burning inferno before you!" Gai shook a fist to the heavens (for whatever delusional reason he had at that moment). Brief thunder on a clear day had echoed his sentiments.
"The technique had been designed as to provide me with near-perfect results!" Then his voice turned solemn. "However, the cost was too great. This technique will force the very gods themselves to turn their backs on you."
Then Gai leapt off his tortoise and landed next to his panicking student.
"It is understandable that you had unwittingly copied it in an effort to become more like your teacher; the proud green beast of Konoha!" Lee's teacher bellowed.
"What technique was it that has caused you to suffer this much, Gai-sensei?" Lee said quivering.
"Take a breath and think carefully, my dear passionate student." Gai encouraged. "And find that answer deep within yourself."
Closing his eyes, Lee recalled Gai's words that it was a technique meant for near-perfect results... Yet the gods themselves would turn away from you.
Maybe if he could trace it back to his most embarassing defeat...
Then it came to him.
---
It was his first time taking the chuunin exam..."My name's Rock Lee! So yours is Sakura..." He introduced himself with a light blush.
"Let's go out together! I'll protect you until I die!"
Then came the wink combined with the thumbs up and glistening grin.
Some few hours later, he ended up lying face down in the ground, having been beaten by only one of the sound trio. Failed at protecting his dear Sakura, he wasn't even comforted by death.
---
Then there was another memory...
---
This time, during the preliminaries of the chuunin exams, Hyuuga Hinata had rather taken one too many blows to the chest by Hyuuga Neji. Naruto had wanted to slam Neji's arrogant face into the ground when Lee had intercepted him, managing to convince the blond haired boy not to attack the male Branch-house member.
Naruto stood down.
Then Lee had done his classic nice-guy pose directed towards Gai, who returned it in earnest -both proud at having Lee stopped the hyper-active boy from making a vital mistake.
Then Hinata unwittingly chose this moment to cough up blood.
---
Another memory...
---
He'd just arrived at the scene and encouraged Naruto to get going and bring Sasuke back.
Kimimaru didn't look nun-plussed and waited patiently. Lee struck a pose and gave ample warning to the bone-using ninja.
"You're opponent, is the Green Beast of the Leaf!"
Of course, he ended up drunk, beat up and Gaara just happened to come along and haul Lee's spandexed green ass out of the fire.
---
Lee also skimmed over all the other little consistencies like with all the little promises to "do 1000 laps around the village on his buttocks" or "defeat Neji" or "learn Genjutsu/Ninjutsu" or "not to embarass Tenten in front of her family or friends" or "defeat Neji"...
Oh! And defeat Sasuke too.
And Neji.
Can't forget Neji.
And it clicked.
It all made sense now!
Everytime he had opened his big mouth, something terrible had happened! Specifically, whenever he'd open his big mouth and made a ridiculous promise that made his teeth sparkle! And sometimes with that thumbs up too!
Coming back out of those black and white, grainy flashbacks and into the digital-colored present, Lee could only find his voice for one word, as he'd been etched with shock and disbelief.
"Gai-sensei!" His shrill cry rang out.
"All this... this... this bad luck is because of the 'Nice Guy Pose'!-?" His jaw hanging loose as he refused to acknowledge his realisation.
Gai nodded, perspirating a storm.
"Yes. Yes it is. I had called this particular technique 'Nice Guy's Finish Last no jutsu'. The thumbs up works like a hand seal, otherwise the shining teeth is the confirmation of its use." He nodded sagely.
"B-b-but what is the purpose of such a devastating technique!-?" The genin had wailed.
"Simple, my dear cute Lee." Gai rubbed his chin's nonexistant stubble then went to erroneously pose.
"For you see, the self-imposed rule had different advantages..."
Gai held up one finger.
"The first was that losing would set yourself up a terrible loss. Thus the challenge is taken seriously! That is the first advantage!"
Another finger joined the first.
"The second would be by losing, I would gain strength from vigorous training! That is the second advantage!"
And then a third finger.
"You know the previous ones... But now combined with this technique, you are put into a TRIPLE disadvantage! You are almost guaranteed to lose but because of this, you will definitely become stronger all the time!"
"Oh..." Lee cooed. His tears ran freely down his face as he wrote the newest entry into his notepad. "Ingenius."
"No Lee." Gai held out one finger again, this time shaking it viciously in a scolding manner. "Not genius! Hard work!"
Then something crossed Lee's mind.
"Wait a minute, sensei! You told me that I've been teaching it to someone else! Who was it?" He inquired.
"Why, Naruto-kun of course!" The jounin folded his arms.
"Naruto? When did he do a nice guy pos-"
Then Lee caught himself.
---
The memory of Naruto going with Shikamaru's team to go after Sasuke, had Naruto make a promise of a lifetime to Sakura.
Course, this was decimated when the blond boy was dragged back totally wiped out and just HAPPENED to have a hole through his jacket and shirt that was perfectly parallel from the front to back.
Whatever Sasuke did, must've really, really caned Naruto.
---
"Oh. Right." Lee slumped. He didn't realise he'd put such a nice person like Naruto in danger like that."Well Lee. Use it often and eventually there will be Karmic balance!" Gai gave the boy a thumbs up and his teeth gleamed.
Lee saluted, his eyes burning as he'd devoted himself to the challenge.
"Okay, I must be going now my cute Lee, as I have a mission to tend to!" Gai ruffled the boy's hair before he made his way to his next destination.---
It would be years down the road when Lee would later be reminded to ask his teacher how he can train his 'Nice Guy's Finish Last Technique' and what he meant by 'Karmic Balance'.
Gai would tell him that it is impossible to train it, but in time, Karmic Blance would eventually make a balance to all things.
He would still be able to remember the finish of that exchanged conversation.
"So does this mean I'll still lose often?" His innocent question hung desperately, wishing the cruel reality to not be so.Gai merely shrugged but replied with a smile and a gleam.
"Shit happens."
Author's Notes:
You can look up all those flashback events! All completely true!
Next chapter's Kiba!
PS. I was thinking of changing the title to Quirks but then I realised that Itachi's wasn't a quirk so I decided against it.
PPS. There will be a companion series where it will follow Itachi's adventures. That's when I have Sasuke's chapter up. By... chapter 5 or 6.