I don't own Ronin Warriors (that'd be nice) or Gollum.

Chapter Five

"This place is so much more fun than back home!" Atsune squealed.

Cye glanced up. "We're eating sandwiches." He said slowly.

"Yeah, exactly!"

"Do you sit staring at the wall all day or something?" Kento laughed.

Atsune coughed. "Of course not….I stare at the CEILING all day."

There was an awkward silence.

"So…" Atsune mused. "Sandwiches! What a great cook you are, Cye! How fitting with every Ronin Warrior fanfic cliché!"

Everyone glanced at each other as she continued to babble on like a maniac.

Kayura appeared suddenly, and Ryo fell out of his chair in surprise.

"Haha, that was funny." Atsune chattered. "Serves you right for that last comment you made, you can be such a dork sometimes—"

She continued off on another tangent, and Sage offered Kayura some earplugs.

Kayura waved his hand away. "I have news from Atsune's world."

Said girl stopped talking in favor (and to the great relief of the others) of listening.

"Mass chaos!"

"Excellent." Atsune laughed evilly.

"Your friends met Mia in your body, and they started rioting!"

"That goody-two-shoes! My rep! It burnssssss!"

"Even once she gained her usual appearance, they started throwing stuff at her and calling her a 'demon shape-shifting witch that killed Atsune and took over her form'!"

Atsune sighed. "That's my buddies!"

The Ronins were looking horrified. "Poor Mia!"

"I guess I have to go home now, huh?" Atsune pouted.

Kayura had her hands on her hips. "Preferably sooner rather than later. Or you'll go home to find your town burnt to the ground."

"We do that on a regular basis anyway."

Kayura opened her mouth to respond, and then realized what she just said. "You're crazy."

"No! I'm perfectly sane! Preciousssssss…"

"Okay, you need to leave before you destroy THIS world also." Rowen said.

"But…but! I'll miss the shiny ex-warlords and the wacky hair colors, shapes, and sizes!" she shot Sage a pointed look. "And the MULLETSSSSS!" she clawed at Ryo's sleeve, then paused in thought. "Actually, no, I could live without those."

"Yeah…" Ryo agreed. Then, "…HEY!"

Cye just rolled his eyes. "I'll be angry about that later.

"Oh well." Atsune said, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I've already been enough of a Sue as it is!"

Cye bit his tongue to keep from adding in the phrase 'overstayed your welcome also.'

"NEVER FORGET ME, ATSUNE, CAUSER OF CHAOS AND HATER OF MILK!"

More to shut her up than anything, Kayura waved her staff and sent her home.

"Be sure to bring Mia back right away," Rowen said. "I'd hate to think what would happen if Atsune were to meet her."

Mia appeared in the seat Atsune had just vacated. "Woah. I think I need some therapy, or I'll forever have a fear of flying objects…"

Atsune landed on her computer chair. Sadie the ferret let out a squeak of surprise and scurried under the bed. If ferrets could talk, she would be lamenting about the return of her sadistic owner.

"Well…" Atsune mumbled, turning to her computer. "That was weird."

END