The O.C.
The Most Beautiful Girl in the World
A/N: This is just a very long stand-alone, companion chapter to 'A Life Half Lived.' It was actually the chapter that inspired the story. I guess I could have written it as an epilogue but I really loved the last line of the story. Sorry it's so long and sorry if the beginning is really crap. Happy reading and again, thanks for the support! Love always, Genevra xxox
Because I feel like I should promote my fellow Aussies, you should read Carebear Stare and welcometotheoc's stories. There are some awesome ones there if you like angst and a little bit of fluff. And while you're there, tell Carebear Stare to stop inspiring me.
Yelly-belly: Or Danielle, as I should call you, just so you know, you were and are an amazing reviewer. :)
Summary: "I don't look sick. I am sick."
Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I affiliated with The OC. Sigh.
Epilogue:
"Mummy," the little girl shrieked running to meet her mother as another car pulled up beside hers in the driveway of the sprawling house.
"Hey, baby Em," the woman said, swinging the little girl into her arms and planting a kiss on her cheek. They squeezed each other and then the little girl dove into her father's waiting arms.
"How's Daddy's little girl?" he asked, nuzzling her cheek like always. The two parents began walking towards the front door where the little girls grandma stood, smiling warmly at them.
"Daddy's little girl is good," she answered, just another part of the daily routine. The father would put the little girl down and she would grab her parent's legs and squeeze before running back to her grandmother.
"Hey, baby. How was work?" the beautiful brunette would ask, standing on her tiptoes to touch her lips to the tip of the mans nose. He would never bother to answer the question. Instead, he would sweep her into a kiss that blew them both away.
"Work was fine. But I'm so much happier to be here with you, Sum."
"I like it better with you too, Sethie-poo."
Seth's eyes shot open and he sat up in bed, clutching his chest. The dreams weren't as frequent anymore but he still had them and they still killed him. they were of his life, what should have been. They were the life he would never have. He sunk back down into the bed and closed his eyes again, dreading what he would see next but dreading what would happen if he stayed sleep deprived.
The scene he saw broke his heart. This should have been him. Should have been his family. He should have been getting out of his car and walking towards the front door where a lovely and beautiful brunette would be waiting for him. she would kiss him and tell him she hoped he'd a good day before laughing and pulling him inside where his two little girls would throw themselves at him. they would be laughing and they would be happy and most of all, they would be together. His wife wouldn't have died, his daughter wouldn't be alone except for her cousins, and he wouldn't be living in a perpetual daze of grief.
--
Seth walked down the wide, spacey, white-tiled hallway of the Atwood residence. He had knocked on the door but when no one had answered, he had simply opened the unlocked door and let himself in. He stepped inside and immediately looked down at the floor where his five year old daughter Emily and her cousin, four and a half year old, Eliza lay across the doorway, so enraptured in their game of Barbies, they barely noticed when Seth stepped over them and continued on towards the kitchen. He could hear the television blaring in the living room that sat just off the main hallway. He glanced in to see an episode of Sponge-bob Squarepants on as loud as it could be. The bare legs of ten-year-old Alexis stuck out from underneath the coffee table and Seth cringed when he saw the myriad of crayons and textas without lids that were bleeding onto the cream carpet around her. A bowl of popcorn was haphazardly balancing on the arm of the black leather couch and buttery kernels lay splattered around it, on the couch and on the floor.
A sudden burst came from the television as an ad came on the TV, causing Seth to jump. He heard a frustrated grunt and then a muttered apology before the sound of footsteps clacking on the floor. Marissa appeared in the archway that separated the kitchen from the foyer, which encased the living room and a set of stairs that led up to the bedrooms and rumpus room. Seth took in her angry stance and he found even himself scared. She had the blue checkered apron he himself had bought as a joke wrapped around her waist, the portable phone in one hand and a wooden spoon covered in tomato sauce in the other. She looked tired and frazzled and Seth immediately felt for her.
"Alexis Atwood, if I have to tell you to turn that television down one more time," Marissa yelled, her voice growing more threatening by the second. Alexis barely flinched but she looked up when Marissa stormed over to the wall and pulled the plug out of the power point.
"Mum!" Alexis shrieked, sitting up before she had completely maneuvered herself out from under the table. They all cringed as her head caught the wooden edge of the glass table. She immediately grabbed her head and burst into tears. Marissa sighed and having finally seen Seth, handed him the phone before going to comfort her daughter.
"Is it bleeding?" Alexis wailed as Seth ended Marissa's call for her and hung up. He took a seat on the edge of the couch and Emily and Eliza came over and sat on his knee.
"No, it's not bleeding," Marissa said. "It would serve you right if it did but."
"Mu-um," Alexis shot back and Seth felt a sharp pain stab through his heart. Scenes like this still tore at his heart. Knowing he would never hear his little girl complain to her mother or that he would never see his wife kiss their baby better.
"Mummy, can Emily sleep over?" Eliza asked, as usual her timing way off.
"No, Emily can't sleep over," Marissa said, glancing at her youngest daughter. "Mummy is tired and you have to go to bed early, remember?"
"But, Mummy," Eliza started to whine before Marissa silenced her with a deadly glance.
"I said no," she snapped, before looking over at Seth. "The girls have been unbearable all afternoon. I don't think they have ever been this naughty. First off, Em and El got into my make-up and squished it into the floor then they dragged pot plants through the house and got dirt everywhere. I've been on my hands and knees cleaning all afternoon."
"Emily," Seth said, warningly. The little girl jumped off his lap and ran to the other side of the room. "Why did you that to Aunty Marissa?"
"I don't know," she said meekly. Seth sighed and shook his head, offering a sympathetic smile at his eldest friend.
"I'm sorry, Riss. I really am. I don't know what's gotten into her lately," he said, wistfully. They both knew what had gotten into her. She had no mother and Seth didn't know how to deal with her all the time. "I'll take her home and sort her out."
"No," Emily said, running back to Marissa. "Don't want too. Want to stay here."
"Come on, Em. Let's go," Seth prodded his three year-old daughter. Emily looked up at him and blinked at him before pouting, turning around and running to press her face into Marissa's skirt. Marissa swung the child up onto her hip and frowned at her best friend. She turned her head to the little girl and whispered into her ear before placing her on the ground. The front door opened and Ryan walked in, briefcase in hand, fresh from a long day at work. The three girls immediately screamed and left the room, tackling Ryan onto the cold, hard floor.
"Seth, there's something I need to talk to you about," Marissa started, her eyes glazing over.
"If it's about Emily's behaviour lately, I'm sorry," he said, his eyes pleading. "I'll talk to her, I promise. Please don't tell me she can't come here after school. Anna's in Pittsburgh for the next two months. I have no one else."
"Seth, Emily called me Mum today," she said, interrupting his rant. His face fell and he staggered backwards, nearly falling onto the couch.
"She what?" he asked, his face paling. Marissa stepped forward, concerned about her friend.
"I told her I wasn't her mother but, Seth, I really think you need to tell her about Summer," Marissa said, her face crumpling. "I know you don't want too but this is just going to happen again."
"Are you telling me what to do with my daughter?" he spat, glaring at her.
"No, Seth," she pleaded. "I'm just trying to help."
"I have to go," he said, turning away from her and marching out the front door.
"Seth!" she cried, racing after him. Ryan, as if sensing the seriousness of the situation, quickly moved the girls into the living room. He watched the forms of the two most important people in his life through the window. He watched as they argued and then finally, Seth crumbled and bought his head to rest against Marissa's shoulder as they both cried. Marissa looked towards the window and caught Ryan's eye.
"You ok?" he mouthed.
"Yes," she mouthed back, her eyes downcast.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you too," she said, before Seth said something that made her laugh. Ryan tore his eyes away after watching Marissa pat Seth on the back once more before releasing him. they walked back in to the house together and Emily immediately ran over to her Daddy.
"Are you ok, Daddy?" she asked, her eyes wide. He smiled down at her and scooped her up in his arms and gave her a peck on the cheek.
"Daddy's fine," he said, forcing a smile onto his face. He looked at Marissa and Ryan and then back at his daughter. "Well, missy, we better go home. Daddy has something he needs to talk to you about."
"What?" she asked, getting excited.
"You'll just have to wait until we get home and you're all tucked up in bed," he said, nuzzling her cheek. She squealed as his stubble rubbed across her cheek. They both waved at the Atwood's and Emily leant out of Seth's arms to kiss Ryan and Marissa goodbye.
"What did you say to him?" Ryan asked, when they were out of earshot. He pulled Marissa to him and she snuggled her head into his chest.
"I just told him that the longer he left it, the worse it would get when it came time to tell Em. And I told him that it didn't mean he had to let go but it would probably help him," Marissa sighed. "I might have gone a bit overboard but I told him that Emily had a right to know the truth about her mother."
"Slightly melodramatic," Ryan said, his lips curling up in a smile. He pulled Marissa closer and kissed her forehead.
"Do you think I did the right thing?" she asked. Ryan was silent for a moment as he considered her question.
"Yeah. You did."
--
"You ready, baby?" he asked, as Emily appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. She nodded and lifted her arms up to be carried. Seth sighed but he picked himself up off the floor where he was inspecting a stain and carried her to her bedroom. The pink bedroom Summer had decorated before she had died. the three words reverberated around his head. Before Summer died. He placed his little girl on the exposed sheet and pulled the quilt around her. she snuggled in and sighed.
"I'm sorry I called Aunty Rissa 'mummy,'" she said, her voice sounding smaller than it ever had. "Sometimes I forget that she's not my mummy and when I remember, it makes me sad because I don't know what my real mummy was like."
"I understand, baby," he said.
"Are you going to tell me a story, Daddy?" she asked, her voice sounding small and sleepy.
"Yeah, I think I am," he said, settling in next to her. She leaned over him to reach for the book of fairytales they kept on her bedside table but he stopped her by placing one of his massive hands on one of her tiny ones.
"I get to pick the story tonight," he said, ignoring her grumbles. Eventually she ceased complaining and snuggled in so her head rested on his shoulder.
"It still has to start with 'once upon a time but,'" Emily requested, her head shooting up from his shoulder.
"But of course," he said, pasting on a corny French accent. His daughter giggled and rested her head back on her father's shoulder. He wriggled around to get comfortable as Emily continued to giggle. Occasionally he would tickle her but he eventually found a spot. "Where was I? Oh yeah, once upon a time… there was a little girl who lived with the rich and powerful in Newport, like us. This girl was the most beautiful girl in the world. She had a beautiful house and closets full of the nicest clothes. All the boys thought she was gorgeous and they all fell in love with her."
"Was she a princess?" Emily asked, her eyes awestruck.
"Almost. She sure had a life like a princess in the fairytales. Until she was seven, she had a family that loved her but then one day, her Mummy left and her father remarried, bringing an evil stepmother into the family. Even though her father didn't seem to love her anymore and her stepmother was mean to her, everyone thought she was happy. But the truth was, she grew up thinking that no one loved her and that people only wanted to be her friend because she was rich."
"She really sounds like a princess," Emily said, her tone sad. Seth continued quickly, blinking away the tears that pricked his eyes.
"One day, a little boy started at the little girls school. He fell in love with her nearly as soon as he met her and he spent years and years watching her and getting to know her from afar. He knew everything about her. From the fact that she fed her lunch to a squirrel every day for a year and that when she was sad, she would wear her brightest colours. But the little girl didn't want anything to do with the boy. She thought he was a nerd and a geek and even though he loved her more than a boy could love a girl, she wouldn't associate with him, which was probably for the best because the boy got nervous and probably would have said some pretty stupid things.
"Anyway, one day, things all changed. The boys Dad was a lawyer like Grandpa and one day, he bought home a kid from a place called Chino. The boy became friends with the other boy, who's name was Ryan, and through Ryan, he became friends with his next-door neighbour, Marissa. Because Marissa was friends with the girl, it was inevitable that the boy and the girl would cross paths and one day, they finally did. It took awhile but the boy and the girl fell in love and they eventually got married," Seth finished, taking a moment to let it all sink in. he saw a glint of recognition in Emily's eyes and he knew she knew he was talking about him and Summer. "Do you want me to keep going?"
"Yes," she said, yawning. She snuggled in closer to Seth, if that was possible, and his body burned from her touch.
"Ok, but I'm warning you, it gets sad soon," he said, waiting for her smart alec comeback.
"That's ok, Daddy. We have tissues over there and I'll hug you," she said, making Seth's heart melt. He stifled a laugh before continuing.
"When the boy and the girl got married, they were very happy. A couple of years later, they found out that they were going to have a baby, a little girl, and they were even more excited than when they got married. They were so happy because everything was going right for them and nothing could make things bad," he continued, his voice getting softer as it became harder to talk. "Then, something bad happened. The girl started getting very sick and eventually, she went to the doctor. The doctor told her he had some bad news. He told her that she was going to die if she didn't get treatment but he also said that the baby might die if she had the treatment. She decided that she didn't want the baby to die so she took a different treatment instead. One day soon after, she had the baby. Like the doctor said, it was a little girl and they called her 'Emily.' They were really happy for a little while. Mummy loved her little baby so much but she was very sick."
"Did she die, Daddy?" Emily's voice piped up, cutting into Seth's thoughts. A small tear slipped down his face and Emily wiped it away. "It's ok, Daddy. I know you're talking about Mummy and I know that she died. that's why she isn't here anymore."
"Yeah, it is," Seth said, wrapping an arm around her and squeezing her tight. "But your Mummy loved you so much. The only time she woke up after you were born was to kiss you and tell you she loved you."
"I love her too," Emily said, a grave expression on her face.
"I know you do," Seth said. "But there's something you need to know. You only get one Mummy so that means you can't call Marissa Mummy anymore. Ok?"
"Yes, Daddy. I'm sorry."
"It's ok, Em," Seth said, sympathetically. "It just made Aunty Marissa and Daddy get upset because it reminded us that you don't have a Mummy. And we thought you might be missing your Mummy."
"I do miss my Mummy," Emily admitted, yawning. Seth leant over and gave her a kiss, knowing she was going to fall asleep any second. She smiled up at him, her eyes barely open. "I love you, Daddy."
"I love you too."
He remembered something from a story he had read and he thought about it as he watched his daughter sleep in her fairy quilted bed (a gift from Marissa one birthday). There had been a line that read 'Was there life before Alexander?' Seth had often regaled Summer with the line, 'Was there life before Summer?' They both knew that there hadn't been much of a life before they hadn't gotten together, for either of them, but the question at this stage wasn't 'Was there life before?' It was, 'Will there be life after?'
As he continued to watch his little girl breathe, her chest rising and falling rhythmically, he knew the answer. He may be without the person he had termed 'the most beautiful girl in the world,' but as long as there was still breath in the little girl he had helped bring into the world, he knew there would be life. As long as she was breathing, so was he. As long as she was laughing, so would he. As long as she was happy, so was he. Yes, there would be life after… death.
--
"Are you coming, Emily?" Marissa asked, thirteen years later. Emily exited the house after her clothed in black pants and an old red tank top of Summer's. They smiled at each other as they walked to the car. Seth and Ryan had taken the front seats, leaving Emily and Marissa to hop into the back together.
It had been eighteen years since Summer had died and they had all decided it was time to let go for good. Emily had to let go of the mother she had never had. Marissa had to let go of the friend she would never have again. Ryan had to let go of the smiling face he would never see again. Seth had the hardest job of all. He had to let go of the truest love he would ever know.
They drove in almost silence to the cemetery where she was buried. Occasionally the silence was punctuated with bits of chitchat, surprisingly from Ryan. He soon gave up when he realized no one was biting. They continued to drive, pretending to take in the scenery.
Emily didn't think that the drive had ever taken so long and she was relieved when the finally got there. she and her father jumped out of the car quickly, eager to get sometime in alone with Summer. If it hadn't been her own mother, Emily would have thought it was ludicrous that she was jealous of someone else being able to spend more time staring at a gravestone. She looked at her father and saw his telltale sign of frustration, the jaw popping in and out, and she calmly took his hand. He visibly relaxed and glanced back to the car where Ryan and Marissa still sat. it was obvious they had read the two right and had decided to give them some space.
The two walked in silence over the grounds and stopped in front of Summer's resting place. The tears immediately sprang into her eyes and she wondered how she could miss someone she had never known. She realized that was it. It was that she had never known her but she loved her anyway.
On the other side of her, Seth let the tears run freely down his face. He watched as Emily placed a bunch of small pink roses on the ground before she knelt and kissed the cool stone of the headstone. He followed suit and copied her. They stayed in their positions for a little longer before Emily whispered to her father.
"You ready, Daddy?" she asked, her voice calm and even. Her strength even shocked her.
"I'm ready," he replied, his own strength shocking them both.
"Goodbye, Mum," she whispered, running her fingers over the engraving.
"Goodbye, Summer," Seth whispered, running his own fingers over the engraving just after his daughter. "I love you."
they stood up and turned away, passing Marissa and Ryan on the way back to the car.
"We'll just be a minute," Marissa said, clutching Ryan's hand.
"Take as long as you want," Seth said, reaching out for Emily's hand. he led her to a park bench and they sat down. "Do you want me to tell you a story?"
"Sure, daddy," she said, smiling through her tears.
"Once upon a time, there was a little girl. She was the most beautiful girl in the world…"
And this time, he wasn't talking about his wife. He was talking about his daughter.