Author's Note: For those who are curious, "puff-puff" is a perverted Japanese term for the act of placing someone's head in between two breasts. Yeah. That's what I thought too.

Chapter Summary: Tohru needs a bigger bed. Or maybe not.

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya/HAKUSENSHA - TV TOKYO - NAS - Fruba Project.

Warning: Rated R for language, implied rape, torture, and adult situations. This chapter: non-graphic descriptions of torture.

Chapter 17: What I Did For Love

Kiss today good-bye,
the sweetness and the sorrow.
We did what we had to do,
and I can't regret what I did for love.

-Edward Kleban, "What I Did for Love" from 'A Chorus Line'

There is screaming. Then Tohru wakes up. There is still screaming.

Tohru turns to Kyou- the dark circles under his eyes are getting larger.

"Again?"

"I'm sorry love, but you seem to be the only one who can do anything. We were hoping not to wake you up but..." He trails off.

Tohru wonders how they were planning on not waking her up when Hatori's screams could probably wake a dead man. Fortunately for everyone involved, Shinta seems to be capable of sleeping through nearly anything until it is time for his feeding.

Five days since Hatori arrived and five days since anyone except Shinta has gotten more than two hours of sleep together. Yuki is already in the guest bedroom, staring helplessly at the frantically rolling and moaning Hatori. He has tossed most of his covers off and is tangled in what remains of his blankets.

Tohru places a light kiss on Yuki's lips before walking over to the bed. She puts a hand on Hatori's forehead and he almost instantly stills. "Yuki, Kyou can you untangle these sheets and put his covers back on?" With the practiced efficiency of five nights of multiple interventions, the boys get the sheets together in record time. Keeping her hand on Hatori's forehead, Tohru lies down on top of the covers, peeling them back enough that she can reach Hatori's bare, sweat-covered back. She moves one hand down to his back, while stroking his head with the other.

Tohru gently rubs back and forth over the tense muscles while humming nonsense words. "Easy does it. Nothing can hurt you. Sleep. Everything's all right." Even asleep, Hatori responds to her voice, his breathing evening out and calming while the tension in his face slowly disappears. He whimpers softly before curling up against her.

Tohru is amazed that someone so much taller than her can form such a small ball against her stomach and chest. She rests her head on top of his and continues rubbing circles over his lower back. "Shhhh... Shhh... Just sleep. No more dreams. Shhh...."

Is he making... snuffling noises? Oh dear. Hatori seems to be nuzzling her collarbone in his sleep.

"Well that's a new development." Yuki's voice is heavily tinged with exhaustion.

Tohru turns slightly to look up at the boys and Kyou weakly grins. "I was starting to wonder if he ever had any normal dreams."

Tohru manages a half-hearted pout. "You're not the one that he's nuzzling."

Kyou groaned. "Normally love, I'd be the first one to defend your honor, but if it keeps him quiet I'm afraid that I can live with a little nuzzling. I thought that I was ready for parenthood, but I didn't realize that my child was going to start out at thirty-five years old."

Tohru can't keep up the joking. The boys are starting to look like raccoons- no wonder Hatori had looked so tired when he had first arrived. "Look- I'm really the only one who needs to be here. Why don't you two go to bed and get some real sleep?"

Yuki turns to her, his eyes blurred with exhaustion but his aura vibrant with gold and red. "Because I can't sleep without you either."

Tohru is far too tired to fight. "Oh, come here."

Yuki and Kyou both kneel beside the bed, their heads resting against Tohru's back. Tohru wants to tell them that that position will be very uncomfortable but she is falling into a nice, warm dark place and is far too comfortable to speak.

-###-

Tohru blinks her eyes. She is fairly sure that it is time to feed Shinta but one of the boys is wrapped so tightly around her that she doesn't think that she can move. She raises her head to his face and freezes. Hatori sleepily blinks back at her before tensing and scuttling backwards across the bed. Tohru instinctively moves backwards herself, but almost instantly bumps into two large lumps.

"Ow."

"Was that really necessary, darling?"

"Would somebody please tell me what on earth is going on?"

This is enough to snap Kyou. "You aren't sleeping Hatori. Not only are you not sleeping, but you scream all night unless Tohru calms you down. Since you weren't mentioning it during the day, we assumed that you might not know about it and have tried to leave before you wake up, even if we have to come back five or six times a night. But we've had five days without any real sleep and it finally caught up to us."

Hatori's aura has gone from blue to a deep purple. "I'm very sorry but... that's the best sleep I've had in years. Please forgive me for causing so much trouble to you, Tohru. Maybe I should start taking sleeping pills again- they've just never worked very well for me."

"It's alright, Hatori, but I think- Oh Yuki, I almost forgot. Do you think that you could bring Shinta here? It's time to feed him. Then maybe you should tell Hatori that idea you brought up to Kyou and me yesterday."

Yuki brings Shinta back from his crib in the master bedroom and Tohru leans back against the wall to nurse. Yuki gets right to the point.

"Hatori- this can't go on. I don't think pumping you full of drugs is a solution either. I never thought that I would have to say this, but we've decided that you need to sleep with us, at least until you can get these nightmares under control."

That's a priceless expression.

Yuki massages the knot forming between his temples. "Not like that, Hatori. The reality is that you are not sleeping unless you are in physical contact with Tohru. None of us like it, but we can't keep going on like this either. Maybe we can figure out another solution, but in the meantime we can all get some much needed sleep."

"Even if I were to agree to this- how were you planning on fitting four adults into one bed?"

The boys look at each other and Tohru can see the defeat in their eyes.

"Maybe Yuki could transform? He could sleep in between my... um.... breasts."

Yuki's head snaps up.

"I know it's a stupid idea-"

"Are you kidding? I get nightly puff-puffs and everyone gets to sleep. It's perfect!"

Hatori looks like he very much wants to disagree, but Tohru catches something in his face that might be longing before he returns to his stony expression.

"What choice do I have?"

Kyou and Yuki speak together. "Absolutely none."

-###-

Hatori's aura vibrates with pink and purple as he stands in the master bedroom in his boxer shorts. "I suppose I knew that you all slept together but it's another thing to actually see it."

Yuki stops in the middle of stripping down and sighs. "It's just sleeping Hatori. We all sleep better next to Tohru. We're not going to force you into some kind of orgy."

Damn.

"Are you ready Yuki?"

"Think so, darling."

"Are you sure I'm not going to squash you?"

"I think I'll be okay."

If that lecherous grin is any indication, he'll be way better than okay.

Tohru picks up the transformed Yuki and puts him down her pajama top. It feels a little strange to have something moving in between her breasts, but it's not necessarily a bad feeling.

Kyou comes up in front of her and plants a rather hard, open mouth kiss. "That's for the disruption to our morning routine."

'I didn't even think of that.'

When it comes to sex, we always figure something out anyways. I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, you needed some post-birth recovery time anyways.

Tohru lies down on the bed and Kyou faces her, draping a loose arm over her waist. "Come on Hatori, you're holding up bedtime."

Hatori moves stiffly to the bed and places a very rigid arm just under Tohru's breasts. Tohru puts her hand over top of his, and the arm almost immediately goes slack while Hatori moves in closer to her back. Tohru drifts to sleep with a final warning from Butterfly in her head.

He calls us "Kana" and we 'accidentally' knee him.

Fortunately for everyone, it seems that even in his sleep Hatori is a perfect gentleman. Aside from occasionally nuzzling the back of her neck and clutching her like a stuffed toy, Hatori does nothing inappropriate. Best of all, there are absolutely no nightmares. Kyou and Yuki exchange glances with Tohru in the morning. That evening, Hatori's things are moved into the master bedroom.

-###-

After two weeks of real sleep, Hatori is starting to look much better. After returning the rental car, he has not left the house and has become Tohru's silent shadow. Whenever she needs an extra hand to change Shinta or help with the meals, he appears by her shoulder and quietly starts to work. Tohru always makes a point of thanking him for his help. He never responds directly, but his shoulders lose some of their tension when she pats his hand or smiles at him. He's even started to tell her little stories about some of the adventures of the Blossom Trio in high school. He's never brought up Akito or going back to the compound and Tohru has begun to hope that maybe he will just stay quiet. Unfortunately, it seems that their silent truce has to come to an end.

Tohru is coming down the stairs after putting Shinta down for a nap, when she hears the voices in the living room.

"...and no one's seen either of you for five years! The family may not have done much for you, but Akito is our head. You owe it to her and the rest of your cousins to pay the proper final respects. I've already delayed here too long- there is probably very little time left before she passes. If not for Akito, think of what you owe the rest of us. We need your support."

Tohru can see the boys wavering; see them weighing the iron bonds of family that they can never entirely forget. She knows that she will have to use her last option to protect them. The knowledge leaves her strangely calm. Maybe she has always known that it would come down to this, that in the end she would be forced to make this choice.

She walks into the living room, back straight, head held high.

"Before you two make a decision, I need to tell you what happened that night with Akito."

In five years they have never once pressured her to tell what happened. Now is the time to put all of her pieces together. She faces away from the boys and takes a deep breath.

Tohru! Think about what you are doing!

'I owe this much to Yuki and Kyou. I can't let this happen, Butterfly.'.

Aw hell. I hate that you're such a fucking white knight. I really, really hate that you've corrupted me so badly that I agree with you.

Silence.

Oh, screw it all! It's been fun, sweetheart.

"Kureno took me to the compound. He had been watching the house and when Shigure left to see Mit-chan, he decided that it would be the best time to bring me to the Honke without interference. I didn't want to make Akito suspicious and I still hoped then that she would change your mind and let you two live your own lives. I thought that maybe she was planning to erase my memories, but when I met her in the house there was no one there except her and Kureno."

"I thought that this was a good thing. Then she pulled out a knife."

Tohru hears a low growl behind her and decides to cut the description short. After all, this information isn't what is really important.

"It doesn't really matter what happened then- parts of it are very blurry because I kept fainting and being forced back to consciousness over and over. Akito kept telling me I was worthless and stupid and that the Jyuunishi were fools to value someone like me, to love someone like me over their god. She nearly killed me- I think that she completely lost control. Kureno tried to stop her and she ordered him to rape me."

There is a moan from one of the boys. Tohru doesn't dare turn around.

"He tried to avoid it, but Akito threatened to control him if he didn't do it voluntarily. I understood afterwards that Akito had mental bonds with you Jyuunishi that were affected by distance. From across the room she could make Kureno uncurl himself. When she touched him she could make him speak and move any way she wanted. She told me that it was her gift. She could call and control people- get inside their minds. The cursed had permanent bonds to her, but she could create temporary bonds with others. That was what she did to me to show me the responsibility that the Sohma god had to bear. She knew about my mother's name and thought that it would be funny if we both got to be butterflies. Even though her god power didn't have an animal, she was able to make it into a butterfly shape that she pushed in and out of my body. It was only supposed to be a temporary thing to hurt me and after all the injuries I had, she didn't expect me to survive it."

"I fell apart faster than she thought that I would- maybe because my lung was punctured. Before I passed out, Akito made me swear not to tell anyone what had happened or she would immediately collect you two. She backed up the promise with a mental bond between us that would let her know if I broke my promise and allow her to mentally find me and crush my mind. I guess I blacked out then, because I only remember hearing Akito as she was about to leave the room. She thought that I was still unconscious and she told one of the servants that I was to be collected in the morning and dropped off in a bad part of town. She thought that it would be amusing, if I was found, that I wouldn't be able to explain what happened before I died."

"I thought I was going to die. I was lying in the corner of the room, bleeding to death, when suddenly I could breathe again. There was a voice in my head that made me leave the room and told me that I was cursed, that I was a butterfly. Somehow, even though Akito didn't have an animal, something she did created an animal spirit in me. Akito has healing abilities that help her body tolerate the god and Butterfly got enough of those abilities to save my life and get me back to Shigure's house before I passed out. Because Akito didn't know about the butterfly, I could tell you about it without breaking my promise."

"But none of that really matters. What is important is the last thing that Akito said to me before I blacked out in her house. She told me that if either of you did anything to help me she would destroy your minds and bodies in the same way. She would take your help as a sign that you had chosen me over her. I didn't remember this until after we got here and then it was too late to do anything about it. You're out of her range here, but if you go back she will destroy you. I can feel her in my mind, Yuki, Kyou- she won't show any mercy. Please, please don't go back."

Tohru can feel the bond flooding open. She knows that she has a few minutes at most.

" Please take care of Shinta. I love you all more than anything but I couldn't let you be hurt."

Then the pain starts.

-###-

Reviewer Responses

A Panda from CTY: "Large eyes, crazy temper and insane charm." Sounds like he'd be quite the bishi when he grew up ;) And Momiji would be pretty yummy as an adult- I can definitely see him with fine features and high cheekbones…. Unfortunately he doesn't show up this chapter but I hope that you enjoyed the chapter anyways. Thank-you for giving me the pleasant mental images!

Pretty Stupid Girl: Yes, I think everyone has perverted friends. This makes Butterfly a bond that the whole world can have in common :P Seriously though, I'm really glad that you're enjoying the story and I appreciate you taking the time to review again :)

SpiritSealedSlumber: I'm glad that you expected the twist because I've been trying to drop clues that it was coming and I'm really, really bad at dropping clues :) I'm afraid that your guess that something bad would happen was right, but I promise you that it is necessary and I wouldn't hurt any of them without a good reason. Good catch on Shinta's coloring! You're right- there is a good reason that he looks that way, but that isn't going to come up until later…. Great to hear from you again and don't worry about the reviewing- I'm just glad that you're enjoying the story :)

Kae Noel: You mean your muse doesn't want you to be a brainwashed Pervy Butterfly Minion? –blinks innocently- Who said anything about that?

Kupo: Thank-you for the cookies! Strangely this chapter is actually a bit longer than most of the early chapters- you guys just got spoiled from the last few chapters ;) Don't worry though- we're back into the long chapters again. As for Akito… well, I guess you'll see…. Great to hear from you again!

bookworm0492: I'm sorry to hear about your books- I hope that you can get replacements. Yes, Shinta's pretty cute :) As for Akito- well we'll see ;) Have you created an account at FFNet already to upload your story? If you have it should be relatively easy- just open the file in the Document Manager under "Browse". Good to hear from you again- good luck with your story!

GirlWaterShaman: Slight spoiler, but I promise that you will find out what happened to Momiji ;) And yes, Shinta is very cute :) As always, good to hear from you and I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

hannah5o: I'm glad that you're enjoying the story :) As for Butterfly- I actually never say whether it is a boy or a girl and there is a reason for that (Da dum, da dum). It was actually revealed in the manga in Chapter 97/98 that Akito was a woman. And I agree that it doesn't excuse her behavior any more than if she was a man. Thank-you for taking the time to review- I hope that the story continues to hold your interest!

manga girl: Well, we will get to find out more about Shinta and I'm really glad that you like him :) Good to hear from you again- I hope that you like the new chapter!

inuyasha-girly-2007: I'm glad that you're continuing to enjoy the story and that you like Shinta. I agree that grey hair and red eyes would be kind of cool too though :) I guess you're going to have to wait and see what happened to Shigure though…. Great to hear from you again and I hope that you continue to have fun reading the story!

for sale: Yes- everything I write is strictly for your entertainment. The other readers are just a side bonus in my quest for your approval :) Just don't tell anyone else, please…. As for the intrigue- we're only just starting, baby :) Always a pleasure to hear from you and I hope that you continue to enjoy the story :0

Fire Phoenix: Good call on the confrontation, although I'm not sure if this is what everyone expected! As for Uo and Hana, they're not quite out of the picture yet…. It is kind of strange that Shinta looks like both of the boys, isn't it? And I'll stop posting vague spoilers and just say how happy I am to hear from you again :)

Panthera: Aaah… Stinky socks… Although I suspect that my socks could probably give yours a run for their money :) I agree that Shinta is really cute but I think that it might be a bit tricky to get Kyou and Yuki as your husbands :) Good to hear from you again and I hope that you continue to enjoy the story!

Dark Luna: I was fond of the "castrate the bastards" line myself- it's a pretty common one from what I understand ;) I'm glad that you're enjoying the suspense 'cause that means that you're really going to like this chapter ;) Yes, I am evil, thanks for asking. Great to hear from you again!

hatori still isn't mine: Good luck on making Hatori yours- I've been trying for awhile but he's just too tricky for me :) And lucky Tohru for getting exactly what she wanted, except not so lucky by the end of this chapter…. Thank you for reviewing again and I hope that you enjoy the new chapter!

xoxKiSS: Good job picking up on Hatori's emotional switch! Cookies for you. I guess we're just going to have to wait and see what he's thinking…. Great to hear from you again- I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Niesia: Barring some whacked out genetics experiment it isn't possible for both boys to be the dad but it is biologically possible for either of the boys to be Shinta's father (Hint: remember Tohru's Mom's coloring) and that's all I'm going to say ;) Well, I'm not quite at the end yet, but I admit that it's not looking that good for Tohru. I guess we'll see… I'm really glad that you're enjoying the story and I always enjoy reading your thoughtful reviews :)

Kyolover91: I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. Thank-you for taking the time to review again!

Cody Thomas: You know, that's probably the nicest thing that you could have said- the stories that I've loved the most have always been the ones that prevented me from sleeping ;) I'm delighted that you're enjoying the story and I hope that you continue to be gripped by the new chapter!

Luffy V'shile: Well, the unofficial tag-line for Butterfly is "Give me my three-way action, damn it!" and I think someone is seriously making a t-shirt/ has already made a background for it :) I'm glad that you've decided to join the Pervy Butterfly Minions- we're a friendly bunch and we don't bite. Hard. Unless you ask. Great to hear from you again!

AmuberuMukku: I had this really clear image of Hatori leaning against the post too- I'm glad that you saw it as well. The t-shirt that I had envisioned had Butterfly on the front with the line "Give me my three-way action, damn it!" underneath and "Pervy Butterfly Minion" on the back. Good call on the climax and I'm looking forward to seeing your picture- from your site you seem very talented :) As always, lovely to hear from you :)

Porcalin: Please don't worry about the reviewing! It honestly just makes me happy that other people are enjoying the story as much as I am enjoying writing it :) I'm very glad that you think that the characters are acting true to type- this is one of the issues that I agonize over, because I strongly suspect the manga won't be heading in this particular direction :) Thank you for the thoughtful review and I hope that you continue to enjoy the story!

Reena: I'm sorry that it's not really clear, but Tohru sees both the colors and solid people- the colors are just superimposed over top of them. As for why she sees colors, well I'm afraid that you're going to have to wait to find out :) Good job picking up on Hatori's jealousy, but I'm afraid that I can't say what's going to happen yet. Butterfly actually has a club of Pervy Butterfly Minions who, like you, are very fond of evil butterflies. I'm not entirely sure why people are fond of evil butterflies, but to each his/her own. Thank you for taking the time to review- I hope that the new chapter continues to hold your interest :)

gadez: Good call on the bad-things-about-to-happen-to-Tohru :) As for the time jump… -sigh- I actually wrote a fluffy piece from Tohru's pregnancy but it really didn't fit with the rest of the chapter, so I ended up cutting it. I'm sorry that there wasn't any Shigure, but I happen to like Hatori too, so I hope that you weren't too disappointed. Great to hear from you, as always and I hope that you enjoy the new chapter.

luvHaru7: Well, I'm afraid that you're going to have to wait a bit to find out what's up with Shinta, but I appreciate you taking the time to review again and I hope that you enjoy the new chapter!

Ruriko: I'm glad that you find the story suspenseful and I appreciate you taking the time comment. I guess you're really going to like the new chapter then ;)

kishe: I'm glad that you're enjoying the story- thank-you for reviewing!

Fuuga Kumi: Rin is the horse zodiac and Haru's star-crossed sort-of girlfriend (i.e. Akito keeps messing with their relationship). And yes, she only appears in the manga. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story- thank-you for taking the time to review!

baka-onna2003: Well, I guess you're going to have to wait to find out who the father is and whether or not there is going to be a threesome ;) I think you might not be able to rule out Akito quite yet either…. Good to hear from you again and I'm glad that you are enjoying the story :)

saiyuki-cat: You will get to find out what's up with Shinta, but I think that it might be hard for him to be the cursed head of family if Akito is still alive :0 Good pick up on the Hatori jealousy- I guess we'll have to see what happens ;) Great to hear from you again and I hope that you enjoy the new chapter!

Updated 01-30-05