Author's Notes: I'm very sorry for the delay in posting- real life has been a mess. That being said, 'Butterfly' will be finished (I've written the end and most of the last few chapters), even if there is a bit of a delay between posted chapters. If you've sent me an e-mail/posted something to my LJ sometime in the last three months and haven't received a response, please feel free to re-email me. I'm afraid that a lot of things got lost in the outside mess that was real life and I certainly didn't intend to ignore people. I'm always more than happy to answer questions and would be happy to make it up to those of you I missed.

For those of you who are happy to see this chapter- send all praise and thanks to the utterly amazing big book worm. Without her help, this would have been much worse and taken even longer ;)

Chapter Summary: So what do men talk about when women aren't around? Run Tohru, run!

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya/HAKUSENSHA - TV TOKYO - NAS - Fruba Project. Butterfly is mine.

Warning: Rated R for language, implied rape, torture, and adult situations. This chapter- frank sexual discussion.

Chapter 21: Let's Talk

Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be

- Salt-N-Pepa- "Let's Talk About Sex"

This isn't Shigure. This can't be Shigure because Tohru doesn't even want to think about what must have happened for Shigure to look this hollow.

The panic and pain in her mind seem to have worked as well as a scream because she can hear the rest of the house running down the steps, coming over to where she is still holding Shigure. She frantically checks if he's still breathing as the men pace around her. Their collective anxiety overwhelms her mind, making it difficult to decide what she should do next. There is a flash of orange 'Kyou' kneeling beside her as he reaches towards Shigure-

"Don't touch him!"

Kyou jerks his hand back and Tohru tries to understand why Hatori would interfere.

"His punishment- touch… Skin to skin contact causes excruciating pain for him and clothed contact isn't much better. He should be far enough away now that the control's gone, but after this much time under the control, it's probably so deep in his mind that he still feels the pain. Akito was the only one who…."

Tohru can't think about this, about the pain that Shigure who loved to touch must have felt, instead-

'He thought that I was Akito!'

Somehow, I doubt that that should be your major concern right now.

Tohru is instantly ashamed of herself, trying to focus on the man in her lap, on what she needs to do to help him. She can hear shifting in front of her and looks up to see Hatori kneeling a short distance away, placing himself at an angle that he can meet her eyes. "Tohru- I need you to check his pulse for me and, if it's relatively strong, I need you to gently shake him to wake him up."

"But what if he's seriously hurt, if shaking him might make him worse?"

"He's just exhausted- if he were seriously injured he would have transformed. That's just as well- I haven't practiced my veterinary skills in a while."

Tohru chokes as she realizes that Hatori isn't joking. Hatori obviously interprets her horror as confusion.

"It takes a severe shock or near-fatal injuries for an adult to unexpectedly transform. Long-term mental and physical exhaustion won't prompt a change unless he's on his deathbed. If he's not seriously hurt, I'll need you to help him into the house. I'd make a stretcher but… I don't think that you're strong enough to roll him onto it by yourself and I don't want either of you to be injured. Our best bet is to have him walk up to the bedroom using you as support. Can you do this, Tohru?"

Tohru nods, pulling herself together. She can't afford to be upset for Shigure right now- despite his calm tone, Hatori's hands are shaking and his aura is a mass of blues and blacks. She needs to be strong, to be brave, not just for Shigure, but for the rest of them as well until they can figure out what Shigure's arrival actually means…

With a surge of determination to make things work, Tohru figures out that Shigure's pulse is fairly strong and steady. She looks at Hatori once more to confirm that she should continue; Hatori nods once. As she gently shakes Shigure and whispers in his ear, he moves much like a puppet at her command. His submissive response unnerves her, so she focuses entirely on helping him to stand and finds that as thin as he looks, Shigure is very, very heavy when most of his weight is resting on her shoulders.

"I left Shinta in his room, but he's going to wonder what's happening. I'll go keep him distracted until we can determine what is happening."

Yuki places a brief squeeze to her unoccupied shoulder, careful not to touch Shigure, before he vanishes back into the house. Kyou comes over to walk beside her, his half-undone pants the only reminder of what had been happening before Shigure arrived.

"I know that we're not supposed to touch him, but if he gets too heavy or if you start getting hurt… I'll be here to make sure that you have help."

Tohru can practically feel the frustration and concern vibrating off of Kyou as he paces alongside her towards the steps of the house. His hands are balled so tightly that his knuckles are white and she tentatively reaches her free hand towards him, not sure if it will help. The look of shock and love on his face as he folds his fingers around hers gives her the strength to keep upright and moving.

Kyou doesn't let go of her hand when they reach the house, instead using his free hand to open the door. As Tohru shifts to make it through the doorway, she can see Hatori and Momiji talking quietly to one another before Momiji nods and starts walking away from the house. Then Shigure starts to sway and she is forced to focus all of her attention on keeping him upright while they slowly navigate the hallway and the stairs.

Eventually they make it to the guest room and Tohru is able to ease Shigure onto the bed. Unfortunately, as soon as Tohru pulls back so that Hatori can take a closer look, Shigure moans and makes a weak grab for her hand leaving her stretched between Kyou and Shigure.

Hatori's smile is almost wry. "Well, this seems familiar. If you could just stay beside him, Tohru, there isn't much to be done for exhaustion and stress other than to let him rest and make sure that he is hydrated. Kyou- could you go get some water from the kitchen?"

Kyou is obviously reluctant to leave, rubbing slow circles over her hand before letting go and exiting the room.

Tohru stands there, not quite sure what to do, still holding Shigure's clammy fingers in her own.

Hatori seems about to say something but instead glances out the window over the front lawn, a brief frown passing over his face. "It seems that I was right that Shigure didn't walk all the way from town in his condition. Shigure's dislike for contact with others must have been stronger than his dislike for driving. I'm going to help Momiji move Shigure's belongings into the house- I don't want to check him until he's had a little rest anyways. Could you wait here with him until I come back up? "

Tohru is confused and concerned and not quite sure what to think, but she manages a quick nod before Hatori walks off, still frowning.

'What am I supposed to do now?'

Well you could jump his unconscious bones. Or you could just sit on the bed and hold his hand- go the naughty nurse route first.

Tohru sits on the edge of the bed, looking down at Shigure, gently rubbing circles on his hand. She doesn't understand what exactly is going on, but she's not about to let someone who was so kind to her, who helped her and the boys so much, suffer like this without doing something to help. She just wishes that she could do more than hold his hand while he lies there, unmoving.

She nearly falls off the bed when his other hand suddenly digs into her wrist and he sits up, glaring at her with glassy, unfocused eyes.

"I'm going to break you, make you dirty. Because only when you are broken, will you be able to be mine."

'No!'

She tries to pull her wrist free but, even weakened, Shigure's too strong for her and she can feel the build of panic, of memories she's tried to forget.

'He sounds like-'

I know but I don't think it's meant for you, sweetie.

'I don't want to remember, I don't!'

So are you going to run?

Tohru looks at Shigure, his hand falling from her arm as he closes his eyes and starts to tremble.

'No. No more running.'

Oh sweetheart… You won't let me take this away anymore, will you?

'I can't hide anymore. Mom wouldn't want me to do that. I don't want me to do that.'

Hand shaking slightly, Tohru reaches back towards Shigure. She is lying beside him, holding him cradled against her chest when the boys come through the doorway.

"Tohru!"

"Are you hurt?"

Tohru shakes her head, letting her hand continue to gently massage Shigure's back.

"I'm fine. I was just startled."

Yuki's eyes narrow, "You don't need to protect him, Tohru. I don't know what the damn dog is doing here, but I doubt that it's anything good. If he's hurt you…"

"He looks so sick, Yuki. If Akito and I are the only people he can touch… He must have been in so much pain- I can't even imagine. He was so kind to me before- I'd like to help him any way I can."

The tension and fear in Kyou's mind alarms Tohru, making her feel unsteady. "He isn't under Akito's control anymore. After the amount of time he spent away from the compound he shouldn't feel whatever the hell it was that Hatori was talking about. Fucking Shigure's always served himself first and I think we need to see if he's faking it before he betrays us back to the compound. "

Before Tohru can move or say anything, Kyou reaches over and touches Shigure's shoulder.

Everything moves so slowly in Tohru's head- Shigure's scream of utter agony, his sudden spasm that knocks Tohru backwards, the rush of Tohru's head towards the floor, barely halted by a now-shaking Kyou.

"Oh fuck… Should I get him something for the pain?"

"I think you've done quite enough."

Tohru doesn't think she's ever heard Hatori's voice quite that icy.

"Get out of here. Both of you. Go look after Shinta and stay away from here until you can behave like adults and not panicking teenagers."

Hatori sets down the bags that he had been carrying and looks over at Tohru. "Can you stay with him a little bit longer while I go get a medical kit? I'm going to need you to perform the actual exam for me- I don't think I can wait until he's alert at this point."

"I'll be happy to do whatever I can to help. Shigure-san… was very good to me."

The blues in Hatori's aura, the sadness in their connection intensifies as he looks over at her. "I'll go get the kit."

Tohru watches Hatori leave, thinking about highschool memories she has avoided for years. She is completely unprepared for the raspy voice behind her.

"Little flower… I guess my driving didn't get me killed after all."

"Shigure-san! You're not unconscious! Oh I'm so thankful… We were so worried."

Shigure looks up with a strangely neutral smile and a strangely neutral grey/white aura. "I'm sure you were. I'm glad to see that your plan worked."

Tohru tries to somehow make Shigure understand the gratitude that she wasn't able to show so many years before. "Without you we couldn't have gotten out. Shigure-san, we are all grateful for your help. How did you- how did you leave?"

For some reason, Shigure doesn't look all that happy at the gratitude, but he smirks slightly before answering her. "I had a house under another name. You weren't the only ones who had backup plans. It just took awhile for the surveillance to be light enough- But little flower, we don't really want to hear about my boring life, do we?"

He coughs lightly and when Tohru reaches out to touch his wrist he looks almost… angry?

'What's happening here? I know that I'm not good at understanding but-'

"Shigure's awake then?"

"Ha-san! My body aches for your embrace!"

"Not until you stop collapsing."

"You're no fun. If Aya were here-"

"My headache would be even worse than it is now."

Tohru slowly stands up, looking over to Hatori for instructions.

"Since Shigure appears to be capable of making an idiot of himself without help, I'll-"

A sudden knock on the door causes him to break off as Yuki peers into the room. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Shinta wanted a story from Mommy before he went to sleep and apparently I won't work as a substitute."

Hatori smiles at Tohru. "Go on- if you tell him your story over on the chair, I can call you over if I need any help. I can just ask Shigure a few questions while you're busy."

Tohru sits down on the chair. The warm feeling from Hatori's smile spreads as Shinta crawls into her lap and cuddles up against her. She kisses the top of his head and softly tells Shinta one of the stories Mom used to tell her when she was little. Apparently she is not nearly as good a storyteller as Mom, because Shinta is asleep within a few minutes, leaving Tohru trying very hard to not overhear Shigure and Hatori's conversation.

She's not entirely sure that they remember that she's here. She tries hard to be good, to not overhear the low muttering of their voices while she rocks Shinta back and forth as he sleeps. She succeeds for what feels like hours until Shigure becomes too loud to ignore.

"Both of them? And a child?"

I'm not sure if he's jealous or… jealous.

'I don't think they know I'm still here. Maybe I should say something?'

They're being quiet again and you need to be here if the dragon needs help. Mmmm…

'You know, I'm not sure, but I don't think people have sex with one another nearly as often as you think they do.'

You think your way and I'll think mine.

"So he was still not speaking? And she was still in a body cast? And you left them?"

'What is Shigure talking about?'

Butterfly doesn't answer and the gnawing suspicions in the back of Tohru's mind, those things that she's never been quite smart enough to figure out, suddenly grow much, much larger.

"I was no good to any of them there, Shigure. Ritsu was a better doctor than I had become. If I'd stayed they would have just had to replace another Zodiac within the year."

Tohru feels sick- she had no idea Hatori had been that far gone when he came to them. From the silence, Shigure probably had no idea either. She almost jumps when Shigure suddenly glances towards her.

"Are you sure that you want to have this discussion while the little flower's in the room?"

"There's nothing I would say that I would want to keep from Tohru."

The look of devotion and… something Hatori briefly turns towards her both pleases and disturbs her.

'Why hasn't he told us these things? Why wouldn't he say this in front of the boys?'

Oh that won't take too long to come out. Just listen now, sweetie.

Apparently Shigure is talking now, explaining things to Hatori.

"I had hoped… Well, after the first few months- I didn't understand why I still couldn't touch."

"Did you try?"

"Oh yes. Nearly blacked out the first few times before I finally gave up. And those were through clothes. I ended up ordering things to come to the house, didn't really come out in public. Played the eccentric writer card…. This is the farthest I've come since I left and the most fucking trouble I've gone to for years."

Hatori's voice is so soft, so gentle that Tohru can barely hear it.

"Why did you come here, Shigure?"

The utter desolation on Shigure's face…

"I was tired of being alone."

Tohru quietly picks up Shinta and leaves the room. Whatever the boys might think, for once Tohru thinks that she understands all too well Shigure's motivations.

Shigure recovers fairly quickly, Tohru never again seeing that vulnerable glimpse she got when he first arrived, never again hearing the words he said then either. He is the only one of her housemates who actually sleeps in the room he was given and Tohru feels guilty for the selfish relief of not adding another body to the overcrowded bed. Even in two weeks, Shigure is looking and sounding more and more like the man Tohru remembers. Unfortunately, Tohru still seems to be the only person who can touch him. Hatori tried a brief experiment and Tohru still has nightmares about the sound of Shigure's screams.

Tohru loves her men, all of her men, but even she is finding it difficult to stay involved with the restaurant, look after an increasingly precocious Shinta, and take care of four somewhat housebound men. She reminds herself again that Hatori and Kyou have been very helpful with Shinta although that doesn't ensure that she will have even a few minutes to herself. However Momiji will be attending classes in the winter semester and Hatori will be opening a small clinic, and Shigure's health is be improving day by day so Tohru knows that things will be better again soon. Unfortunately, standing in the bedroom after putting Shinta down for a nap, she can't seem to convince the boys of that.

"Try to get some sleep, darling- you've been looking so tired lately. Shinta should sleep for awhile, so you should have lots of time to rest."

"Maybe I could just go for a hike or practice transforming, I mean I haven't really transformed since I had Shinta-"

"Not by yourself, darling."

Tohru isn't sure what prompts her next statement- she'd like to blame Butterfly, but the truth is, the unusual suspicions that have been building in her mind since the bonds were formed almost demand to be tested.

"I know! I haven't spent any time with Akane-chan or Maki-chan outside of work for such a long time, maybe I could call them up and-"

The sudden tensing of both boys, the surge of possessiveness in her head almost makes Tohru afraid.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, love. You really need some sleep and maybe you could see those idiots another weekend."

With that, Kyou grins and picks her up to throw her down on the bed. Straddling her legs he leans in to stage whisper in her ear. "Now get some rest so that we can play later."

Yuki rolls his eyes, but the grin on his face implies that his thoughts are pretty similar to Kyou's. Both of the boys are laughing by the time they walk out of the room and close the door. Tohru's smile fades as soon as the latch clicks.

'I want to make them happy but-'

They're suffocating you.

Tohru wants to disagree, but there is something inside her that doesn't let her argue. She sits on the bed, trying to think what this might mean, what's happening to her and the boys that would make this happen….

Alright, the jailers are gone- let's sprout some wings and split!

'But they said that I needed to take a nap. And I'm not supposed to transform by myself-'

You mean the same way that they never transform by themselves? You'll be fine, sweetie. You need some time to think, away from your balls and chain.

'I do need some time to think…'

Tohru is already transforming and flying out the window, feeling strangely guiltless for not listening to the boys. It's all worth it in the moment that she feels the wind lift her up and out into the air. For a few minutes she forgets everything as she lets herself be carried out over the yard.

'Oh… I missed this…'

That's great. Now pay attention to where you're-

'Sorry!'

Ouch. Well that's one way to go from the top floor to the porch.

'Why is everyone in the living room?'

Oh- you have to get closer. This may be your only chance to see an all-Sohma orgy!

'We shouldn't listen to them.'

In that case you better watch out for the-

'Ow.'

Window….

Tohru shakes herself, trying to re-orient her mind, and suddenly realizes that she is staring in the living room window and has a front row seat for whatever the Sohma men are discussing.

'I think that we should go.'

Oh no- the dog's talking. We're not going anywhere.

Suddenly Tohru sees Shigure make a particularly graphic gesture, his words starting to become clear and she realizes exactly why the men weren't having this conversation in front of her.

"-And then we both took her at the same time. She couldn't walk properly for a week!"

Obviously I've been pushing for the wrong threesome.

Kyou rolls his eyes. "Alright Shigure. We get that you and that damn snake had a lot of fun in college. What I don't get is how you managed to keep from hugging any of them and still get them all to go to bed with you. How the hell do you get a girl naked without ever embracing her?"

"Looking for advice?"

You know, I think that I'm just going to shut up and listen to the master at work.

'That's all it takes for you to be quiet? Why couldn't Shigure have shown up sooner?'

Not funny.

Hatori interrupts here. "They didn't get away without any accidents. I spent half my life at one point erasing the memories of those two's catches of the day-"

Shigure merrily continues. "Which is why Ha-san has such a large icicle up his ass. I swear that the only time he ever thawed out enough to get it up was for Kana." Taking a look at Hatori's expression, he crows in laughter. "It was, wasn't it? Damn- no wonder you're so grumpy."

"Better than fucking everything with two legs and a skirt."

"Ha-san is mee-ean."

When Hatori doesn't respond to the pout, Shigure leans back in the chair with a strange glint in his eyes.

"But I already knew Ha-san was boring. I figure the least you two owe me for letting you destroy my house so often is a few inspirational ideas for my books."

Hmmm… The one involving the ice, the double boiler and the public restroom would be plenty inspirational.

While Tohru tries to block the graphic images, it's obvious that the boys are having similar memories of some kind. Kyou has discretely turned on his chair and is almost fondling himself as he adjusts his position, while the sudden wave of lust through Yuki's connection nearly knocks Tohru off the windowsill.

Kyou seems to recover first- Yuki's eyes are still closed and fluttering when Kyou finally speaks in an unusually rough tone. "I'm not telling you any stories involving Tohru, you damn pervert."

Shigure leans forward. "Oh I wasn't interested in Tohru stories."

Kyou looks almost blank for a moment, before his expression hardens in understanding. "There aren't any other stories."

Shigure looks towards Yuki, who glares at Shigure, all traces of lust gone.

"I don't have any either. And I don't like what you're implying, Shigure."

"I'm not implying anything- but truly, the Sohma Prince has no other stories?"

The tension seems to seep out of Yuki and he looks almost rueful when he replies. "The Sohma Prince has no other stories."

Momiji scratches his head and leans back against the couch.

"I'm a bit confused, Yuki. You had so many girls chasing you in high school and I could have sworn I saw you getting close to some of them. I mean, weren't you involved with what's-her-name… Maki?"

"Machi," Yuki corrects absentmindedly. "No. I admit that I tried to start something with her though. I thought that Kyou had won Tohru over and I was panicking. Obviously, it didn't work. It's pretty hard to find an interest in someone when you're waking up every night moaning someone else's name."

Shigure raises an eyebrow. "When did the stick in your ass get removed Yuki-kun?"

Yuki actually grins. "About the same time that I started getting laid on a regular basis."

Hatori starts massaging the bridge of his nose. "Can we please talk about something else? I really don't need to think about you getting off."

Oh please do.

Yuki turns a threatening look towards Shigure. "Don't even think about it."

Shigure raises his hands in a defensive gesture and blinks innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about Yuki-kun. But I'm not interested in you anymore- how did our beloved Kyonkichi fall in love with the little flower?"

Kyou stretches lazily and is opening his mouth to speak when Shigure interrupts him. "What! No death threats for calling you Lucky Kyou?"

Kyou's voice is quiet and sincere. "I am lucky."

This seems to be enough to get Shigure to shut up.

Kyou stretches again, cat evident in his every lazy, graceful movement. "But you were asking about when I fell in love with Tohru. Let's see- would that be before or after I started jerking off to the picture of her in a bikini?"

So why the hell didn't you figure this out earlier? You could have been playing with Lucky Kitty since high school!

Hatori groans and buries his face in his hands. Momiji seems to be choking as he turns a brilliant shade of pink.

Shigure stares at the boys in evident fascination. "What the hell happened to you two? If I'd known that getting you laid would have gotten you guys this relaxed I would have hired you a hooker years ago."

Kyou shakes his head. "Wouldn't have worked. Tohru's the only one who's ever got me excited."

Yuki nods in agreement. "I've never wanted anyone else. And believe me- there was definitely a time when I tried."

Shigure raises an eyebrow again. "No need to spin pretty stories- it's not like she's in the room. Why don't you tell us the truth?"

Kyou looks over to him, his face open and intense. "Why is that so hard to believe, Shigure? You know the special side effect of our curse."

"Special…side…effect?"

Yuki interrupts. "Oh come on, Shigure. You probably know more about the curse than any of us- how couldn't you know about the bonding effect?"

Shigure's face and colors become carefully neutral. "Why don't you refresh my memory?"

Kyou and Yuki exchange looks. It is Yuki who speaks, running his fingers through his hair as he talks. "I guess it's just as well that we get this out in the open. Kyou and I have been talking this over and this is probably as good a time as any to bring it up. Hatori let us know about it and we'd been meaning to talk about it but-"

"Tohru was always around."

So this is one of those conversations. Damn. I had been so sure that they would be still attracted to women, even after they admitted their love.

Tohru's still trying to guess what the boys wouldn't want to talk about in front of her and what Hatori would have to do with it when Momiji speaks up.

"Is this something to do with the bonds we made? Some kind of side effect?"

Kyou makes a noise somewhere between a snort and a laugh. "Told you nezumi- they kept all the younger Zodiac in the dark, not just us."

Yuki sighs, rubbing his forehead before continuing.

"It has nothing to do with the mental bonds we've got now. It's something inherent to being Zodiac - something that apparently no one wanted to tell us younger Zodiac about. Hatori finally told us…we can only be truly emotionally attached to one other person and once we've made that attachment we can't feel the same way about anyone else, even if that relationship ends. Kyou and I… I guess we realize how lucky we are that Tohru wanted both of us because when she made her decision we were both too attached to ever want anyone else. But Hatori …

Kyou cuts in when Yuki trails off into silence.

"What it comes down to is Jyuunishi only love one person and Hatori's already used his chance. So we don't have to worry about him falling for Tohru and causing problems. But what we wanted to talk about, without getting Tohru worried, was you, Momiji. Be careful- you may be a pain-in-the-ass but I don't want you getting hurt. I'm assuming you haven't become attached to anyone and if you form an attachment like that to Tohru- it wouldn't be fair to either of you. You do have some feelings for her, don't you?"

The pink that creeps over Momiji's face is answer enough.

Wow. You have a harem.

'Sending me images of the boys dressed in veils is not helping!'

While Tohru's mind tries to follow what just happened, it is Shigure, surprisingly, who breaks the awkward silence in the living room.

"Well ignoring that extremely enlightening little rant, I know that I'm wondering why you aren't a threesome instead of some kind of lopsided triangle. The little flower's cute, but she's not that cute. You two seem to have resolved that sexy smoldering tension between you and I assumed it was because you were fucking each other's brains out."

Old Kyou would have probably ripped out Shigure's throat. And that is when Tohru really realizes how far they have come over the last six years because Kyou simply shrugs and answers Shigure. "Guys don't do anything for me. It's nothing personal against nezumi but dicks don't get me excited."

Yuki actually laughs. "It was bad enough when we occasionally walked in on each other jerking off. Accidentally seeing Kyou with Tohru was enough to convince me that I really didn't have any secret desire to fuck the neko."

Kyou grins. "Hey! You should know that your naked ass is enough to turn anyone off guys." Suddenly he becomes completely serious. "I don't love Yuki. Most of the time I don't even like him that much. But if anything happened to me that disabled me he is the only person in the world that I could imagine caring for Tohru and Shinta as much as I do. And for that, if nothing else, I'm grateful that Tohru chose both of us."

Wow.

'I didn't know…'

Didn't know or didn't want to know?

Tohru doesn't have an answer. All she knows is that the fierce surge of love in her mind has washed away her doubts, her unhappiness.

Suddenly, both Yuki and Kyou stiffen and look at one another.

"Well as much fun as it has been learning about the dog's sex life, I need to go practice with the rat before Tohru wakes up so we can see who gets the prize this time."

The boys both exit quickly while the remaining three men look at one another, shrugging almost simultaneously.

Shigure grins, his eyes hooded as he looks at the other two. "So are you two up for a smoke break?"

Momiji blushes. "No thanks- I don't… Well not since I came here… Tohru doesn't…"

'Momiji smokes?'

Apparently not here.

"You're so whipped, Momiji-kun." Tohru notices that Shigure's smile doesn't reach his eyes. "I guess it's just you and me Ha-san- we can spend some time getting 're-acquainted'."

Tohru would like to think that Shigure is completely back to his normal, joking self but she notices that at no time does he allow himself to come into contact with Momiji or Hatori. Her heart pities him as he flinches when Momiji exits the room within a foot of Shigure's arm. Shigure and Hatori leave shortly afterwards and Tohru feels a new respect for the dragon when she notices him leaving plenty of space between himself and Shigure. Tohru is about to fly back up to the bedroom when the front door opens. She plasters herself against the windowpane, desperately hoping that she won't be seen. Fortunately, neither of the men seem to notice her.

"They don't really need to worry about Momiji, do they?"

Hatori shrugs. "Probably not. Momiji will likely meet someone when he goes to school again. Unlike the boys, he's always considered Tohru a bit of a big sister. There's a good chance that his crush will fade out once he starts to recover from what happened to him."

Shigure pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He lights one and holds out the pack. Hatori ignores the offered cigarette and turns to lean on the porch railing, staring out over the yard.

"You're in love with her."

Hatori spins around, fixing Shigure with a glare, as the writer hotboxes his cigarette. He takes a long draw before speaking again in an almost malicious drawl. "All that bullshit, Ha-san. 'Jyuunishi only love one person and Hatori's already used his chance.' Why'd you tell them that crap? Is that what you used to explain it to them when they caught you wanking in the mornings, so that they'd think that you were imagining Kana? Very tricky, Ha-san- I wouldn't have expected it of you. I suppose you even get a few freebies 'accidentally' watching them go at it with our little flower because they think that you can't get turned on."

Hatori is turning pink and -to Tohru's horror- panic and shame are shining in his eyes, in his colors.

"Good lord, you have, haven't you? What the hell were you thinking?"

Hatori's voice is full of self-loathing. "It's not quite as bad as that, Shigure. I'm not proud of myself, but I'm not spying on her sex life."

Shigure stubs out his cigarette and turns his full attention to Hatori. "But you're not denying the other."

Hatori averts his face for a moment. When he finally turns to look at Shigure, Tohru is almost suffocated by the intensity of his gaze. "You have no idea! None! I hadn't slept properly in years before I came here – not until she took me into her bed. So how do I thank her? I betray her and her lovers. She nearly died, Shigure, and the first thing that she did when she could speak was to prevent Yuki from killing me. She forgave me even though I deserved to die. She then went on to free my dragon and make me guardian of her son."

There is a long silence then, Hatori staring, fists clenched at his sides, shaking with emotion.

"So you're in love with her because you think you owe her something."

"If I owed her something, I would do anything but fall in love with her. She trusts me, Shigure. In spite of everything that I've done, she trusts me and every time I look at her I betray that trust."

"She's already fucking the boys, why would she object to a third?"

Tohru didn't even see Hatori move. One second he was against the porch, the next he is holding Shigure by the throat against the wall of the house. "Don't ever speak of her like that again."

Shigure coolly peels Hatori's hands away from his throat. "You're her lap dog, Ha-san. Our little flower says 'come' and you practically wet your pants. No smoking? Nursery maid? She doesn't even have to spread her legs- all you needed was a little tease. Akito should have taken lessons from her."

Tohru is terrified that one of the two men is going to be killed and she debates changing back and taking whatever consequences that would bring. But Hatori surprises her. He pulls back from Shigure and looks at him with something that is almost… pity.

"You want to know why I love her, Shigure? When she told the boys the truth about what happened to her, she knew what was going to happen. She loved the two of them so much that she was willing to be tortured to death, to leave her newborn son to prevent a potential threat of Akito hurting them."

Tohru is grateful that, as a butterfly, she can't gasp or cry, but Hatori isn't finished yet.

"When either of them are in her line of sight, she doesn't see anything or anyone else. She's not the most beautiful woman in the world, but she glows, Shigure, And all of that glow, that energy is just a little piece of how much she loves them. She has a tiny fraction of that love for me, but it is more than anyone else has ever loved me. She was in my mind, saw that I had been hurt because of her, and rather than pulling away, all she could think of doing was showing me more love to take away the pain. But I don't love her because she loves me. I love her because… Tohru- Tohru is spring."

"But you're right, Shigure. Akito should have taken lessons from her. Maybe then you at least wouldn't be here." And with that, Hatori walks past Shigure and into the house.

Tohru feels sick. She shouldn't have been here. She shouldn't have heard that conversation, any of those conversations. She looks down at the sill, trying to get herself under control before she flies back to the bedroom. When she looks up again, Shigure is staring down at her. "You heard what you wanted to hear, little flower. Now get the fuck out of here."

And Tohru flees.

Reviewer Responses

The last few months have been a bit hellish and I'm very sorry that it took so long to get this chapter updated. Unfortunately, the delay in posting the chapter also caused a bit of a review buildup- I am truly grateful to all of you for continuing to let me know your thoughts and providing crit and comments. Because of this, I had to make a really hard decision. If I were to answer the 130 reviews that built up over the time between chapters, the chapter would probably have been delayed by another week or two because of my work schedule. I thought that the best way I could thank all of you was to try and get the chapter out as soon as possible- I will resume answering all reviews next chapter. For those of you who were interested in drawing fanart, if you are still interested I am pretty much jumping up and down in excitement. If you do finish any of it or wish to talk about it with me, please feel free to e-mail me and let me see the pretty pictures :) If anyone has questions that weren't resolved from their last review or just want to get a quick response, please do feel free to e-mail me. Despite the e-mails I lost during my months of hell, I will do my very best to keep on top of all new e-mails. Thanks once again for your patience and support- I hope that you all continue to enjoy the story!

Updated 07-24-05