Chapter 14
There was a long silence after the last note died away. Zach turned off the player. "Well?" She rolled her eyes. "Okay, you're right. It isn't all bubble gum music." Zach gave her an exasperated look. She folded her arms. "What do you want me to say, Zach? That I've found my life's anthem?" Zach laughed. "Nothing so profound. I just think it's a melencholy little song, that's all." Kendall shook her head. "But what is it supposed to mean?" Zach thought for awhile. "It is a song of hope, which is really more important than love itself. You can be in the sad position of not having love in your life – and I don't mean just romantic love, but any kind of love. But even if you don't have it, there is always that hope that it will come. When hope is gone too, then you really are in a sorry state."
Kendall glanced over at Zach. "I thought you said it wasn't profound." Zach shrugged. "Anything, no matter how deep or shallow, can give you some food for thought. Something as benign as the Monkees can start a chain of events that changes the course of your life." Kendall's eyes widened. "Ooookay. I have a feeling you're speaking from personal experience. Care to clarify?" There was a long silence. "When I was an adolescent, the Monkees used to come on after the Saturday morning cartoons. My father told me that he didn't want me watching it. No son of his was going to watch a show that glorified laziness and irresponsibility. I did end up watching it, whenever I had a sleepover at someone else's house. I was fascinated by the show. Here were these young men who didn't go into the office every day. They were musicians that just wanted to have fun. The only purpose for making money was for rent and food. And they cared about each other. There was disappointment whenever one of them screwed up, but no other recriminations. It was a fantasy world for me. I remember I even tried to learn an instrument so that I could join a band. I was terrible at it." Zach chuckled. "Anyway, seeing this show started me on the road to yearning for something more out of my life. It eventually led to my plot to fake my death so I could escape my father's plans for me."
There was more silence. Kendall cleared her throat. "I'm not trying to be snide, but I have to point out that you turned out exactly as your father would have shaped you. You are an extremely wealthy and powerful business man. And you have made attempts to manipulate your own son, trying to point his life in a certain direction without giving him any input or say in the matter. What more could your father have asked for?" Zach's eyes narrowed. "He would have wanted me to be wealthy and powerful and still under his thumb. I suppose I could pull out the old Sinatra line and say that the difference is that I did it my way. But you make a valid point. Instead of joining a band and living a carefree existence with three friends, I turned out to be very similar to my father. It is true. I think that is because I spent the majority of my formative years under his influence. Michael was there longer, and look what happened to him. I got out early enough not to have my heart completely rot out – at least I hope so – but apparently not early enough to leave behind the drive for success. That is why I had high hopes for Ethan. He did not grow up a Cambias. I figured that if he continued to be untainted by the wealth and the power, that he would never be even remotely like the other men in his family."
Kendall shook her head. "It doesn't work that way, Zach. I mean, this happens all the time, but it is still wrong. People who have bad childhoods think that if they give their children the opposite experience, then their children will be much happier. That is not how it turns out. Life is hard, no matter what walk of life you are from. Ethan might have been much happier if his father had embraced him, and shown him how to run an empire in a way that would not have rotted his heart out. Now he has to learn how to run an empire and deal with the fact that his father denied him."
Zach eased into a freshly plowed parking space at their condo development. He turned off the ignition and stared at the steering wheel. "I can't really say whether Ethan would have been happier in any of these scenarios. I can only deal with the scenario that exists in reality. Your mother hurt you very deeply when she rejected you. Yet you and she now share a love that is much, much deeper. For you, Kendall, love isn't sleeping. It is fully awake and alive in the form of Erica, Bianca, Miranda, and all your other family and friends. I did have love, but she walked away from me. Twice. Now that love is sleeping, and my only hope for it to awaken is if Ethan forgives me. I know you hate me, Kendall, but will you help me? Will you try to convince Ethan to look past my betrayal and see my good intentions?"