Author's note: The song featured in this chapter is "This Love" By Maroon 5, on their Songs About Jane album. If you aren't familiar with it, a clip can be heard on Amazon.

Chapter 17

Kendall giggled at Zach's third attempt to get the star straight on the tree. For the third time it tilted when he let go. He shook his head and decided to fill his mug with more cider. "I'm curious. What does Erica think of this tree?" Kendall burst into another fit of giggles. "Poor thing was flabbergasted. On the one hand, she wanted to be snobby like Phoebe Wallingford and hate it. On the other hand, my mother loves all things glamorous. It has so much sparkle and flash that she couldn't help but love it. I said, 'Admit it, mother, this tree calls to you like a giant diamond ring.' She gave me a sly look and said, 'Fifty thousand carats.'" Zach threw his head back and laughed. Kendall was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her face.

Zach recovered himself and then peered suspiciously into his mug of cider. "What did you put in this stuff, Kendall? I can't even taste it, but it sure has pulled a number on me." Kendall looked at him with impishness. "Zach, I didn't put any alcohol in it. It is completely virgin cider. You, my friend, are high on life." He stared at her in disbelief. It had been so long since he had laughed so freely, that he had assumed it was because of a relaxing agent. The truth was that he was having a genuinely good time with Kendall. Doing holiday activities, no less. It blew his mind.

Zach slowly sipped his cider as he watched Kendall fuss over the tree. There was a genuine look of delight on her face as she looked over various ornaments. He hadn't been bored when she told him stories about each one. She looked up at him, and their eyes locked for a moment. Pink tinged her cheeks ever so slightly. She looked to her right, towards the picture window. Her eyebrows rose, and she glanced at Zach. He looked over and saw that a woman was standing at his door, looking through the window to see if he was inside. It was Maria. His heart felt like a vise was slowly squeezing it tight. He looked back at Kendall. She gave him an "I don't mind if you split" look. He took a deep breath and stood up. He walked to the door, but it felt like his legs were hollow and filled with stones.

When Zach opened the door, Maria whirled around. "Oh! I..uh…I guess it didn't occur to me you would be at….Kendall's. Oh wait, of course. Ethan is living there. Were you spending time with him? That would be fantastic!" Zach shook his head. "Actually, Ethan has gone AWOL. No one knows where he is. I was looking out for Kendall. I don't know if you've heard. Jonathan Lavery turned out to be psychotic and Kendall is one of his targets." Maria nodded slowly. "I have heard about Jonathan. After Edmund heard the news from Ryan, he put two and two together and realized that the mystery voice he'd heard on his cell phone was Jonathan. I tried to point out to him that it proved you were not guilty of any wrongdoing, and that he should drop his vendetta against you. He blew up at me and insisted that you were evil incarnate."

A voice behind them spoke. "Edmund is right, Zach Slater is evil incarnate." They turned around and saw Ethan standing there. "Or maybe I'm thinking of Darth Vader. Same thing really." Maria glanced at Zach in bewilderment. "Ethan is referring to the recent revelation that I'm his father. He and Miranda did a DNA comparison." Maria covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes filled with compassion. Ethan looked disconcerted that Zach already knew about the DNA test. He lifted his chin. "I bet you've been wondering where I've been since yesterday. I know you've been looking for me. My spies told me about your spies. Yes, I have spies now. The board at Cambias Industries welcomed me with open arms. Channels were opened to me just like that. And for my first act of power, I…"

The door to Kendall's apartment flew open. "Ethan! Where have you been? Never mind, you need to come inside." Ethan looked back at Kendall. "In just a minute. There is something important I need to tell my father." She grabbed his arm. "Not more important than your freedom." Ethan stared at her. "Please come with me. Zach can wait until later." Ethan looked back at Zach, who smiled. "With bated breath." Ethan's eyes narrowed, but he followed Kendall into her apartment. Maria put her hand on Zach's arm. "Lets go into your condo. Its freezing out here." He nodded his assent and unlocked his door.

When they were both inside, Maria pulled Zach to her and kissed him. Stunned, Zach put his arms around her. She held him tighter, deepening the kiss. Zach wasn't sure what to make of her sudden aggression, but his body was perfectly fine with it. This went on for several long moments, then Maria finally pulled away. "I'm sorry, Zach. I don't know what came over me. No, that's not true." She took off her coat and started pacing. "Its been building all day. I told you about last night. Edmund found out about Jonathan, which inexplicably led to a fight about you. He ended up sleeping in one of the guest rooms. This morning he was cold as ice. I've never seen him this way. I told him that I was fed up with his accusations, and that he needed to trust me. He told me that his trust in me died the day I chose Aidan over him. Even though I still hadn't recovered my memory at that point, he was so deeply hurt by that act. And then losing his legs compounded it. I finally realized that our marriage really did end that night my plane crashed. Everything that happened after that put huge unrepairable gouges in our relationship. I feel like my world is crashing, Zach. I came here to talk to you, and now I see that you have some pretty heavy burdens yourself. That's why I kissed you, just now. I needed….I needed a release. And I thought maybe you did too. If not, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for using you to ease the pain." Zach held his hand up. "Maria, you never have to apologize. The past five years has been one roller coaster after another for you."

Maria shook her head and sat down. She put her head in her hands. "I want to be angry at you for coming to town, and making no bones about wanting me back. But honestly, I should be grateful. You sped up the inevitable. Without your influence, the breakdown of my marriage would have been much slower and much more painful." Zach poured her favorite drink and handed it to her. As she took a fortifying sip, he glanced out the window. He could see straight into Kendall's apartment. She and Ethan were arguing. Ethan's hands were waving about. He inadvertently knocked the star off the tree. Zach turned away from the window. "Let's get out of here. We can go to my casino and get some dinner." Maria tapped her foot. "I have a better idea. Lets go to SOS. Remember back in the desert, every so often we'd drive to that little honkey tonk and dance the night away? I feel bad for saying this, but…I've missed dancing so much."

Zach smiled at her tenderly. "They have dancing at my casino." Maria waved her hand at him. "No offense, but all they play is jazz standards. I want a driving beat. I want to feel the music pound in my veins." Zach took her hand, and without another word they left the condo. When they arrived at SOS, Zach opened the door and the driving beat that Maria had been looking for slammed him in the face. He looked back at her and she grinned from ear to ear. They entered and Maria glanced at the stage area. "Darn, they don't have a live band tonight. I guess its piped in." She shed her coat and started dancing. When Zach was a teenager, he hadn't been interested in doing what was called the "White man's overbite," so he had taken dance lessons. Maria had also taught him some latin dances in their casita. Tonight, though, he could barely keep up with her. It seemed as if all her inner demons were being released.

Zach jerked a thumb to indicate he was heading to the bar. She barely gave him a nod. When he approached the bar, he was startled to see that Ethan and Kendall were sitting there. He wondered how they had gotten there before him. They looked like they were still arguing. Why in the world would they bring their argument to SOS? Kendall turned away from Ethan, a look of intense pain and confusion on her face. Zach stepped forward, an incredible urge to comfort her overwhelmed him. He felt a hand on his shoulder. It ws Maria. "I love this song. Dance with me, Zach. Hold me close."

She pulled his arms around her and put her head on his shoulder. Zach recognized the opening notes to "This Love" by Maroon 5. Closing his eyes, swaying with Maria in his arms, he listened to the words pounding into his head.

I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in my heart

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again

Images flooded Zach's mind of the time they had spent at the casita. Their love had been wild, passionate. It had also been a house of cards. He carried secrets of the life he had escaped by faking his death. She carried secrets of the life she couldn't remember, her mind filled only with the lies told to her by David Hayward. Neither spoke of their past, pledging only to love the person that they were right now. But Maria had been unable to sustain that cocoon. She left him without a word.

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

I'll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything's alright
My pressure on your hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that's what you want me to do

But here she was, right now again. In his arms again. She had finally forsaken Edmund for him. Well, not exactly. She was with him now only because her marriage to Edmund crumbled. Zach squeezed his eyes shut. What the hell had he wanted anyway? Had he really come to town hoping that she would dump Edmund and her family the instant she found out he was there? Zach suddenly felt like the room was tilting. He realized that what he really wanted could never happen. He wanted her to have never left the casita. Things were too different now. Their secrets were out in the open. Ugly, wounding secrets that stood before them and demanded to be acknowledged.

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

The music died and Zach abruptly let go of Maria. She looked at him in bewilderment. "I need to sit down for a moment." He went to the bar, on the opposite end from Ethan and Kendall. He sat down, and rested his forehead in his hands. The dream he'd had in the cabin came slamming back to him in full force. The love Maria built with Edmund had been solid and real. Their relationship was over, now, but it had taken heavy artillery to make it happen. If something like that could happen to Edmund and Maria, what could happen to Zach's relationship with Maria? The first stiff breeze might knock them over. Bile rose in Zach's throat as he tried to make sense of it all. Could it be that the only reason Zach had remained in love with Maria was sheer pigheadedness? When Maureen left him, he had heard his father's voice in his head, laughing derisively at his foolish romantic notions. Determined to show his father's ghost that true love was real and pure, he had cradled his love for her close to him. He did not let go for years, and continued to search for her. When he finally found her, what had he done? He'd developed some half-baked scheme to get her back, and blundered back into her life like a bull in a china shop. Was it because he wanted to prove to the world that he and Michael hadn't ended up like their father? He had been convinced that Michael wasn't a rapist, and was so sure that Maria would run straight into his arms.

Zach felt like he couldn't breathe. Maria was behind him, trying to get him to tell her what was wrong. Her voice sounded very far away. He looked up and saw Kendall staring at him from the other end of the bar. There was liquid fire in her eyes. Zach was both bewildered and scorched by it. Abruptly, the fire was replaced by a look of warning. She glanced over at Ethan, who was now making his way to Zach with grim determination. Zach probably should have felt guilty for wanting to punch the smug look from Ethan's face, but he didn't. Ethan leaned over."I'm not quite sure how you managed to get Kendall to plead your case, but I have to say that was a smooth play. But it was too little, too late. As I was about to tell you before, my first act of power was to place a few calls and make sure that your gaming licenses were revoked. That's right, father dearest. Your casinos are now just fancy little arcades. I'm a bit surprised your flunkies haven't told you yet."

Zach realized that he had turned his cell phone off, earlier. He checked it now. There were about a dozen calls from his second in command, and a few from his private investigator. He stared at the phone for awhile, then realized that Maria was lecturing Ethan. "The only reason he lied was to protect you from becoming like his father. For heaven's sake, he faked his death to escape that man. And now his worst fears have come true. One whiff of power and money and the first thing you used it for was revenge." Zach almost laughed. Here he was, in the presence of his son and the woman he had wanted to marry, and he felt suffocated by them. Unable to take anymore, Zach left without another word, simply melting into the crowd until he was gone.