Author's note: This chapter features a song called "Lush Life," which has been recorded by many artists over the decades. It is a haunting melody that reflects Zach's life startlingly well. The artist I first heard sing it was Natalie Cole on the Unforgettable CD. On Amazon, when I entered "Lush Life," I found a bunch of CDs by different artists (some are instrumental).

On another note, I was rechecking some dates from back when I started this story (Dec 22). Seems Bianca was in a coma at that time, and couldn't have been whisked away to hide from Jonathan. So lets just pretend that she had already woken up by that time, reunited with Miranda, and had the DNA test done, m'kay?

Chapter 19

Zach's eyes snapped open. After a moment's disorientation, he realized that he had fallen asleep while leaning back in his desk chair. He vaguely remembered the beginnings of a dream that promised to be thoroughly nasty. Maybe his subconscious had startled him awake to spare him the ordeal. He slowly moved forward from his reclined position. As careful as he was, the movement nevertheless made his head pound and fill him with nausea. Well. Better fetch himself some more hair of the dog. He used every ounce of will to stand up and walk over to the mini bar. To his supreme disappointment, he realized that every bottle was completely empty. He suddenly flashed on a memory of Erica in Las Vegas, looking supremely disappointed that her flask contained no more booze. I'm pathetic, he thought. What else was new?

He looked around, wondering about the best way to get his hands on some more scotch. Should he have someone bring a bottle to him? Should he wander down to the bar? He looked at his desk clock, which always gave the date and time, and felt a small amount of relief. It was 12:32 am, December 26th. Christmas was officially over. He'd managed to get through the holidays by staying in a drunken haze the whole time. He should do that every year. Well, if there were any customers at all, since there was no gambling, they would probably be in the bar area listening to his latest entertainer, a crooner that always drew a crowd.

Zach stared at his cell phone. With a sigh, he slowly went over to it and checked his messages for the first time in 48 hours. There were a grand total of three. One from Maria saying that she didn't understand what had happened to Zach, and hoped he was okay. She also wanted to let him know that when she and Edmund got together for the sake of the children on Christmas Eve, they had a serious talk and decided not to end it after all. Zach restrained himself from flinging the phone against the wall, and skipped to the next message. It was from Ethan, gloating that he had made Zach run with his tail between his legs, and promising that there was more in store. Grampa Alex would be proud. He went on to the third message. It was from Kendall. "Zach? You've completely disappeared, just like Ethan did. Usually we can't get rid of you, and now you're nowhere to be found. I'm wor…um…Bianca is concerned for Miranda's sake. You're her uncle, and all. Um…well, give us a call to let us know you aren't in a ditch somewhere."

Zach looked around again. If he sat here and waited for someone to bring the booze to him, he might go insane. He took a deep breath and walked out the door, heading to the bar. As he entered, the crooner, Jim Jackson, was finishing a swinging tune that had the customers twirling and laughing in each other's arms. There were more people out than he would have guessed. Maybe it was cabin fever from being around too many relatives in too small a space. Zach approached the bar, determined to grab a bottle and go straight back up to his office. There was no way he would stick around and listen to Jim sing torch songs for the ridiculously happy couples that seemed to be in the crowd tonight. He caught Max's eye and pointed towards the scotch. Max raised one eyebrow and wordlessly handed him the bottle. Zach was turning to leave, when he noticed that Jim was smirking at him from the stage as the band started the next song. Zach wondered what that look was for, then realized what song he was playing. Lush Life. Clever, Jim. Very clever. Zach gave him a two finger salute, then decided to humor the crooner and sat down at the bar, grabbing a shot glass.

I used to visit all the very gay places
Those come-what-may places
Where one relaxes on the axis of the wheel of life --
To get the feel of life
From jazz and cocktails.

The girls I knew had sad and sullen gray faces
With distingue traces
That used to be there -- You could see where they'd been washed away
By too many through the day
Twelve o'clock tales

Then you came along with your siren song
To tempt me to madness...
I thought for a while that your poignant smile
Was tinged with the sadness...
Of a great love for me.
Ah yes, I was wrong.
Again, I was wrong.

Life is lonely again,
And only last year, everything seemed so sure.
Now life is awful again,
A trough full of hearts could only be a bore.

A week in Paris will ease the bite of it
All I care is to smile in spite of it

I'll forget you, I will
While yet you are still
Burning inside my brain
Romance is mush
Stifling those who strive
I'll live a lush life in some small dive
And there I'll be, while I rot with the rest
Of those whose lives are lonely too.

Zach listened to every word of the song, struck by how much it resembled his life. He had to wonder, though, why the writer thought spending a week in Paris would ease his broken heart. It was the City of Love. Or maybe that was the point. Being surrounded by so many lovebirds who seemed to think that love was everything and that it would last forever….it would serve to stack brick upon bitter brick to make a nice cynical wall around the broken heart. The heart would heal nicely in its little prison, and never be touched again. A germ of a plan took shape in Zach's mind. He would go to Paris. But not for just a week. He didn't want to come back to Pine Valley. And Las Vegas was pointless given his current circumstance. He would stay in Paris for a while, a good while. Long enough to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his miserable life. Or until he rotted, like the song. He'd liquidate all his assets, and just go bury himself in the heart of the city. Completely shed everything and everyone that had been stifling him for far too long. With renewed determination, he left the scotch on the bar top, and nodded in appreciation to Jim as he headed to his office to make plans.