TITLE: Pall

DEFINITION: PALL

Pronunciation: 'pol
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, short for appallen, to become pale
1 to lose strength or effectiveness
2 to lose in interest or attraction his humor began to pall on us
3 to become tired of something
4 to cause to become insipid
5 to deprive of pleasure in something by satiating


Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, cloak, mantle, from Old English pæll, from Latin pallium
1 (a) square of linen usually stiffened with cardboard that is used to cover the chalice (b) a heavy cloth draped over a coffin; (c) a coffin especially when holding a body
2 something that covers or conceals; especially

3 an overspreading element that produces an effect of gloom a pall of thick black smoke

(Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

RATING: PG-13 or R. R to be safe. Mostly for language to begin with, maybe for... other things... later on.

SUMMERY: After an attack on a graduation ceremony at Annapolis the JAG office is thrown into a state of flux.

SPOILERS/TIMELINE/ALTERATIONS I'VE MADE: A little AU. Please see previous chapters for more details. And I never really watched JAG when it was actually on the air—I started watching late in the last season, I'm afraid to admit, but I've been catching up when it airs on History every day at 9, 4, and 8. The only problem with watching a weekly show daily is that timelines are hard to figure, especially since most exterior shots are done 'on location' and not in DC. So I'm taking some author's liberty here by saying that the first trip to the Seahawk with Bud as Harm and Mac's shadow (when Bud and Harriet first met) was in late July. I doubt it was, but just pretend for the purposes of this story that that's the way things worked out, okay? Thanks.

DEDICATION: To my readers. I'm writing this for you.

JAG HEADQUARTERS

1535 (EST)

FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA

FRIDAY, JULY 23

With the return of the Admiral to JAG Harm was back in his office which he had offered to share with Meg. She had turned him down, though, opting to just sit at Harriet's desk out in the bullpen since Harriet was on maternity leave as well as compounded emergency family leave. The Admiral had promised that he would get Tiner to clear out one of the offices that had been used for storage in recent months but she told him that she was in no hurry. She was honestly just glad to be back at JAG Headquarters and she didn't care if she had to set up shop in the elevator if that's what it would take for her to be able to stay in DC.

Brumby had gone back out to Norfolk to get some statements but the Admiral had wanted Meg to stick around the office so she hadn't accompanied him, something Meg wasn't all that sorry about.

Meg was exhausted and looking forward to the weekend, even if it did mean that she would be moving into her new apartment. She hated moving. And living with Harm for the past week had been very enjoyable, though there were more than a few awkward moments where she almost let her feelings slip. And, not only did she not want to ruin their friendship, but she also didn't know how he would respond to anything so major with the way things with Bud were looking.

Despite the fact that she had been brought back to deal with the Annapolis shooting things were so tight that Meg found herself catching cases, working cases she hadn't worked since she was fresh out of law school. She had been lucky when she was partnered with Harm because he managed to catch higher profile cases, which bolstered her resume as well, and she had moved from dereliction of duty cases to murder investigations within a few months, something almost unheard of because high profile cases were, as a rule, reserved for the senior attorneys on staff. Meg had been one of the first Lieutenant JG's to solo on a murder investigation, the case that had warranted her initial transfer out of JAG several years before. Now she was a Lieutenant Commander, promoted only a month earlier from Lieutenant, and she was working cases that most lawyers at her rank wouldn't touch because they felt they were 'below' them or something. Meg, however, didn't care about that. She wasn't wildly pleased by the fact that she was dealing with public urination cases and the like, but she wasn't about to become one of the people she hated so much for acting like the number of bars on your chest was what defined their worth. The one thing that was great about low profile cases was that no one really wanted to deal with them anyway, so plea bargaining was much easier. She managed to wrap up several cases through pleas and was pleased that she had at least made a dent in the stack of cases that had been handed to her that morning in staff call.

Meg was just about to start working on the next case in the stack on her desk when Mac came over with two cups of coffee. She handed one to Meg who took it eagerly, for she hadn't even bothered to stop for lunch and her morning coffee had long since worn off. "Thank you," Meg said.

"You looked like you were fading," Mac said sympathetically. "I didn't see you at lunch."

"Worked through," Meg admitted. "I haven't worked so many cases at once since I was a first year." She rubbed her eyes and once again seriously considered switching from contacts to glasses, at least for work. "How are things going at Quantico?" she asked Mac who had spent most of the day there with Reigner and Rowe who were working tirelessly to crack Marino.

"In a holding pattern," Mac said with a sigh. She pulled a chair over and sat down, clearly exhausted. "This guy… he obviously knows that there's nothing he's going to do that will get him out of the death penalty. Even if we can't pin the Annapolis shooting on him, his previous crimes will be enough to warrant a death sentence. But he's smart enough to know that nothing's going to happen to him until we find out about the Annapolis shooting…"

"I hate it when they refuse to get scared," Meg said sympathetically. A part of her wanted to ask about how things were going with Reigner but Meg didn't know Mac well enough to ask such a personal question, especially since it was selfishly motivated—Meg wanted to make sure that the woman who was conceivably her competition for Harm's affections was safely ensconced in the glow of a new relationship that had yet to reach the point where the other person reveals their true face and facets. So Meg held her tongue on the topic of William Reigner and asked another question instead. "Are you going to the hospital after work?"

Mac sighed. "Harriet has banned us all from coming tonight. She's enlisted Harm and me for baby AJ duty and she's going to spend the night with Bud by herself," she said. She looked down at her hands, her emotional turmoil obvious. "Today is the anniversary of the day they first met," Mac said softly.

The blonde's shoulder's sank a little in sympathy for Harriet, a woman she hardly knew but already considered a friend.

"Anyway, Harm wasn't sure if you would be okay all by yourself in his apartment—a comment for which his six deserved a thorough kicking for—so he sent me over to find out if you would mind if little AJ, Jingo, and I came over to the loft."

"Well, as insulted as I am that Harm doesn't think I can spend one night in his apartment without something happening, I'm not going to turn down the company," Meg said.

Mac nodded. "Okay. I wasn't sure… I thought maybe you and Harm had plans or something…" she said.

"Harm's helping me move into the apartment tomorrow afternoon, but other than that I'm pretty sure the plan was take out and childish party games."

"Party games?" Mac asked, deliberately misinterpreting what Meg was saying.

"Oh, please," Meg said, rolling her eyes when she realized what Mac was hinting at. "We play, like, Twenty Questions. It's not like we're playing naked Twister."

Harm came over carrying little AJ in a car seat. "Who is playing naked Twister?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at the women.

"No one," Meg said, praying that she had managed to keep the disappointment out of her voice. Harm didn't catch it, but Mac did, and she planned to push Meg on the subject later.

"Give me my godson," Mac said, putting her coffee down and reaching out for baby AJ who was dressed in his sailor suit. "We've gotta get you some Marine Greens, sweetheart. Your parents and godfather are filling your head with all kinds of nasty rumors that the Navy is better than then Corp."

Rolling his eyes, Harm set the carrier down on the floor. "Don't listen to her, AJ. You're gonna be a sailor, just like your dad and your mom and you Uncle Mike," Harm said, gently adjusting the child's cap. He had actually taken the 'cover' off when entering the building but he had quickly realized how foolish it was of him and he replaced the hat because he knew that Auntie Mac would have a fit if AJ wasn't fully attired in the sailor's uniform that she and Carolyn had searched high and low for before the baby's birth. "Come here, little man," Harm said, reaching out to take the boy back. Mac clutched him to her chest and turned her body away from Harm. "Mac, come on. The Admiral wants to see little AJ and me in two minutes and unless you want to be the one to run a diaper check before I go in there, you might want to hand him over."

"Fine, take him," Mac said dramatically as she eased AJ into Harm's waiting arms. She didn't mind diaper duty, but if someone else offered to take it for her she was more than eager to let them. "What does the Admiral want to see you about?" she asked.

"I think my presence was requested only because I'm the holder of the baby," Harm admitted before grabbing the diaper bag and headed off to make sure that little AJ wouldn't offend big AJ.

Mac sat back down and looked at Meg who had stayed silent through the exchange. "Okay, this is going to come out totally high school but how long have you had a crush on Harm?" Mac asked in an excited whisper.

Meg groaned and let her head drop to the desk.

HARM'S APARTMENT

1720 (EST)

NORTH OF UNION STATION

FRIDAY, JULY 23

Baby AJ was asleep in his basinet in the bedroom where he would, hopefully, not be as easily disrupted by the adults conversation. Jingo was laying down between the baby and the door to protect the innocent child from whatever might come through the heavy multi-layered steel door. Harm was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner and Meg and Mac were sipping wine and soda respectively. Meg hadn't asked why Harm hadn't even offered Mac wine, and, while she was a little curious, she knew that asking would be beyond crass.

The three of them ate dinner, chatting comfortably. Mac and Meg got to know each other better, Harm got caught up on Meg's life since she had left DC, and Mac got to hear about the things Harm had done before she had arrived on the scene.

After the dinner was finished and the dishes were done, all three of them retired to the living room area where Mac quickly suggested that they play one of the 'party games' Meg had been talking about at the office.

"Twenty questions," Meg agreed with a smile.

"I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with that. Mac, you know too much about me. Any questions you ask would be leading," Harm said.

"Got something you want to keep secret, Flyboy?" Mac teased.

"For the time being, yes," Harm said flat out. He saw no point in denying that he had a secret. Mac knew that he did, and he was pretty sure Meg suspected something. And if admitting that he had a secret could keep them from trying to find out what the secret was he was more than willing to fall on that particular sword.

Mac pouted. "You're no fun."

"Then we can play Would You Rather. Fewer personal details are let out in that one," Meg suggested, though she was wildly curious to find out whatever it was that Harm was hiding.

"I haven't played that since…" Mac trailed off. She bit her lip and stood up, leaving the room and going to stand over baby AJ. She needed his innocence to reassure her that not everything in the world was horrible.

Harm was behind Mac in an instant, his hand tentatively reaching out for her shoulder. "Mac?" he said softly. "Talk to me," he whispered plaintively.

"Sorry," Mac said, blinking back tears. "It's just that the last time I played was the night of my fifteenth birthday party. Dad was out with the other enlisted guys, and mom was… she told me she was going to dinner with some friends. I had a few friends and mom and dad let me have the house to myself for the evening because we'd done the family dinner thing the night before and having a party was their gift to me. There were five of us… and I remember that it wasn't until after ten, half an hour before I knew dad would be stumbling through the door, that I realized that both mom and Ruggles were gone."

"Ruggles?" Harm frowned. He'd never heard the full story of the night that Deanna MacKenzie had left her husband and daughter. It was obviously a painful subject for Mac, even after her father died and Mac had made peace with her childhood, and Harm, knowing what a difficult childhood meant, was sympathetic to Mac's emotions and personal space on the topic.

"This big white mutt that we had," Mac said, hastily wiping away the stray tears that had escaped. "I remember… after my friends were picked up… dad came home. He was sober, for once. I remember thinking that he'd done that for me, that he'd refrained from drinking for my birthday. He saw the dish full of food that I'd set out for Ruggles and he asked where the dog was. Dad never said anything, but I know he loved that dog, even if he was always getting underfoot." Mac smiled at the memories, some of the few happy ones she had. "We looked all over town that night, and when we got back to the house it was probably four in the morning. I was so sad… and dad came into my room after I'd gotten ready for bed. He had a note in his hands… from mom. Saying that she was leaving and that she hoped we would be alright together without her. I don't remember crying that hard ever before, and I think I've only done it three times since. Dad gathered me up in his arms and he comforted me as best he could. He promised that we were going to get through this, that we'd make it work. He said that he was going to stop drinking and that we were going to live a proper life, even if I didn't have a mom around. He stayed sober for about two weeks… then some of his buddies invited him out… I was spending the day with Uncle Matt, and I came home just in time to see dad throw up all over the begonias. It wasn't long after then that I started drinking and hooked up with Chris and Eddie."

Mac looked down at baby AJ and then looked up at Harm. "But the thing is… the night of my birthday party, while we were playing 'Would You Rather'… Cheryl McGuire asked me if I would rather live without the ability to walk or without my mother. I chose without the ability to walk. I didn't find out until almost a year later that Cheryl had gone into my parents room while she was looking for the bathroom and she'd found the note mom left for dad and me."

"Oh, Mac," Harm said softly, reaching out and brushing Mac's tears away tenderly.

"No, I'm okay," Mac said, pulling away. "I'm just… I think I'm gonna turn in for the night, if you don't mind."

"Go ahead. Take the bed. I'll take the floor," Harm said.

Mac looked at Harm for a minute, trying to decide if his motives were true. "What about your back?" she asked.

"It's been fine lately," Harm assured her. "Go get some sleep. Meg and I will try to keep it down."

"Thanks," Mac said, her voice less than a whisper. She hugged Harm tightly and sighed in relief. She had been holding that story in for so long. With everything that had happened to Harm's father, her take of maternal abandonment had seemed trivial and she felt like sharing that particular facet of her life with Harm would make her seem whiny. She never thought about how much better she would feel after talking to her best friend about one of the most painful things she had ever lived through.

Mac went into the bathroom to change and Harm headed back to the living room after tucking AJ's blankets around him a little tighter. "Is everything alright?" Meg asked, genuinely concerned for her new friend.

"She will be," Harm said. "She just… sometimes the past just catches up with you, ya know?"

Meg nodded. She had heard pretty much everything that had been said, and she knew Harm knew that, but they were all going to pretend that she hadn't heard a word. "If there's anything I can do," she said.

"I hate to admit it, but there's not much anyone can do," Harm said softly. He heard the shower turn on and he moved into the bedroom, gathering up the spare linins.

Within half an hour all three of them were in their respective beds. Mac was in Harm's bed, Meg was on the couch, and Harm was lying by the fire with Jingo who had left the protection of little AJ to Mac. "You know, you'd think with two beautiful women staying with me I'd have a better sleeping companion than you," Harm said to the dog as he pawed at Harm's sleeping bag, trying to make it into an appropriate bed.

Mac's meltdown will make sense in time. And I'm sorry I didn't put any real Bud/Harriet moments in this chapter (or any) but I couldn't seem to put the emotions that I felt the scene required into my writing. I have issues with writing hospital scenes... I'm working on it, though.

Review please!