Chapter 25

Zach finished his set and joined Kendall at the bar. "Would you like to dance before we go? Desiree is about to start her set, and she has a fantastic voice." Kendall looked at him with wary eyes. He noticed that her skin was flushed all over. "Are you alright?" She nodded her head. "I'm fine. I umm….I guess I'd love to dance." Pausing to make sure she really was fine, he led her out to the dance floor. The music started, and when he took her in his arms, he suddenly realized why she had looked wary. Asking her to dance had not been one of his better ideas. He felt his entire body start to vibrate with tension. His hands involuntarily found their way to her back, which the dress partially exposed. He felt her shiver as he ran his fingertips up and down her spine. Desiree began to sing, and Zach found himself smiling at the words. "The very thought of you, and I forget to do, the little ordinary things, that everyone ought to do…."

Kendall knew she shouldn't have agreed to dance. The only reason she had was because she figured they couldn't get into that much trouble in a public place. How did it come to this? A year ago, if someone had told her she would be dancing with Zach Slater and ready to devour him on the dance floor, she would have checked herself into a pysch ward. She shifted her head on his shoulder, so she could whisper in his ear. "Zach, what did you think of me when you first met me?" Zach chuckled, and she could feel the rumble in his chest.

"When I met you, Kendall, I already knew who you were. I'd read all about you in newspaper articles relating to Michael. I remember being quite amazed at your various shenanigans. You reminded me a lot of one of those dames in the old black and white detective movies. The one who keeps everyone guessing what her real motive is. The one who is trouble with a capital T. I was quite prepared not to like you at all, to avoid you at all costs. When you showed up in Vegas with Ryan, I got to see the real Kendall. You thought you hid it well, but I could see the quiet desperation in your eyes. I thought at first it was concern for your mother. And that was certainly a great part of it. But part of it also had to do with Ryan. You wanted him back so badly that you were ready to do anything crazy to get him. That same quiet desperation came into my eyes the moment I saw Maria's picture in the Pine Valley Bulletin.

Kendall nestled her head further into his neck and sighed. "It took a long time to get over Ryan, but I did it. It became much easier when I finally realized that he wasn't worth chasing. He didn't treat me as a priority, and so I had no self-respect around him. The more I see him with Greenlee, the more it crystallizes. He does treat her as a priority. He genuinely loves her in a way he couldn't love me. I tell myself it isn't because I'm unlovable. It just means that it wasn't meant to be with him, and that I belong to someone else in this world." She lifted her head up, and stopped dancing. She looked straight at Zach. "I need to…um….I need some fresh air." He frowned in concern. She turned around and headed for the exit.

As soon as she hit the street, she breathed deeply, over and over. What in the world had come over her, spilling her guts like that? She had never been so mesmerized by a pair of strong arms and heady aftershave that she would share her innermost secrets like that. What kind of spell was he putting on her? She flinched as she felt Zach drape her shawl over her. He turned her around gently and tilted her chin. "You want to tell me what happened back there?" She shook her head free and looked down. "I think you better take me home."

Zach stared down at the top of her lowered head. He wanted to press her, but decided that she would probably shut down even further. He sighed and took her elbow. "Its not too far, we'll walk." They strolled along in silence for awhile. After a time, Zach commented, "Its amazing not only that Bianca and I have been in the same city for four months, but that we also live so close together. Her apartment is only three blocks from here. I'm in this building, here." He gestured at the building they were passing. Kendall stopped short and stared up at it. Zach cracked a smile. "Want to come up and see my etchings?" She looked at Zach thoughtfully, appearing not to have heard his joke. "You say that Bianca is only three blocks from here?" Zach nodded.

Kendall bit her lip. "Zach, it occurred to me as we were walking that we haven't discussed Ethan at all. We need to talk about him before I leave, but there is no way its going to get done in three blocks.." Zach raised his eye brows. "So, you're suggesting we…..?" Kendall glanced up at his building again. "I think we need to go up to your apartment where we can have some privacy." Zach paused. "Privacy? To talk about Ethan?" She nodded slowly. He smiled mischieviously. He guestured towards the door with his hand. "Well, then. Come into my lair, little lamb." She rolled her eyes and followed him to the entrance. They took the elevator up to the 17th floor and Zach unlocked his apartment.

Zach offered her a drink, and she shook her head. She sat down in the chair next to the sofa. Zach took off his sports jacket and draped it on the sofa. Then he sat down and leaned back, his hands behind his head. "So how's my boy doing? I hope he's getting straight A's. Not being picked on by the school bully is he? Or is he the school bully?" Kendall glared at him. "You can cut with the fake sarcasm. I know you well enough by now to see through that act." Zach switched his hands from behind his head to his knees. "The reason why I haven't asked how Ethan is doing is because I don't want to know. The last thing I need is a report about how he is slowly getting eaten alive by Cambias Industries."

Kendall leaned her arms against her knees. "You're so sure that he's turning to the dark side." Zach shrugged. "I don't always enjoy being right, but usually I am." Kendall stood up and walked over to the large window that showed a lovely view of the city. "He was certainly on his way down that path last winter. When you sold your casinos and left without a trace, he was furious. He expended a lot of time and money looking for you. He became more and more distant. You see, after we broke up we reverted to being friends again. He also spent a lot of time with Bianca and Miranda. But then he spent more time at work. I could tell he was withdrawing. When Bianca moved to Paris, it really affected him. He came to Pine Valley looking for his family, and now that he'd found them, they all left him. For awhile he was just consumed by work and by making money. He even tried to put the Miranda Center project on hold by diverting the construction crews to other projects, but I wouldn't let him get away with it."

Then one day he found out that Tad Martin had a dossier on you. Apparently Edmund and some others were trying to find out what you were up to when you first came to town. Ethan requested the file and started reading up on you. He switched from being obsessed about finding where you are now, to finding out who you were then. He wanted to know what made you tick. Wanted to know exactly why you had faked your own death. Wanted to look beyond his own pain to know why you had lied to him about being his father. He pored over information about Zach Slater, about Alexander Cambias, Jr. About Alexander Cambias, Sr. He found out a lot of nasty things about his grandfather. He was just horrified by how ruthless the man was. Just last month, Zach, he came to me and told me that he finally understood. He finally connected the dots that someone who hated the Cambias name so much that he would fake his death, would of course try and shield his son from that life. He confided in me that I had been right that revenge is hollow. He really wished that he hadn't driven you away. I told him that we should write a book together and call it, "My Parents Make Stupid Mistakes, and Apparently It's Genetic."

Zach laughed involuntarily. Then he went quiet again. "So you really think he is at a turning point? You think he is not going to become my father?" Kendall sat down next to him and covered his hands with hers. "Zach, the company by itself cannot hurt Ethan. If your father was still alive and had gotten his hooks into your son, then it would have been inevitable. But your father is gone. Michael is gone. Money and power can change a person, sure. But other people do a much bigger job of shaping the way you think, and Ethan has had some help heading in the right direction. You know, he hired Jack to be the company's top lawyer. Bianca has been his partner in this the whole time. I really think that with time and maturity, he will use his power for good and not for evil."

Zach moved one his hands and set it on top of hers. "Thank you for telling me all this. I can't help but feel dubious that he's really changed his mind about me. I'm not sure that he would want me back in his life right now. Just in case that itch for revenge is still there, I think I'll stay away a bit longer. I'm not so much afraid of what he'll do to me, but of what he'll do to himself." Kendall narrowed her eyes. "Are you saying you want Bianca and I to pretend we didn't see you here?" Zach shook his head. "No, don't lie. Never lie. I still have my spies around. If Ethan comes after me, I'll make sure to take a vacation."

Kendall slipped her hands out from between his. She leaned back on the sofa. "This is all so complicated." Zach leaned back also. "So what does Ethan think about you marrying JR?" She shook her head. "Oh, he was livid. He threatened JR, telling him that he would dismantle Chandler Enterprises. I told him I would never speak to him again if he did that. Then he told JR that he would sell him the company and bribe the judge in the custody suit if he would leave me alone. I'm not sure why, but JR wouldn't take him up on that offer." Zach smirked. "I know why, he wants it all. He wants the company, he wants his son, and he wants you." Kendall rolled her eyes. "I told you, Zach, he is well aware that this is strictly business. I will be his wife in name only." Zach shook his head. "He may be pretending to go along with you, but he wants you and he is used to getting what he wants."

Kendall gazed at him. "Aren't you used to getting what you want?" He stared back at her, and nodded his head slowly. "Yes, but I don't take anything by force. If it came to that, I would just walk away." She smiled wryly. "Yes you would, wouldn't you?" He reached over and trailed a finger across her jawline. She was startled by a noise very close to them that sounded like a jazz tune. Zach sighed. "My cell phone. It only rings if it is very important. Excuse me." He fished it out of his jacket and answered it in French, walking into the bedroom.

Kendall murmured to herself, "Saved by the bell? Or not?" She was beginning to wonder why she and Zach were fighting their attraction. So what if they ended up having sex? They were both mature adults who could walk away from a one night stand with nothing but pleasant memories. Her whole body turned to jelly at the thought. But then she realized the error of her thinking. It was true that she'd had casual sex before. But sex with Zach would be anything but casual. Would she really be able to walk away the next morning unscathed? If the answer to that was "no," would it still be worth it anyway? Kendall stood up, exasperated with herself. She couldn't seem to decide if she was talking herself into sex or talking herself out of it. That was assuming Zach even wanted to take the plunge, so to speak. Sure he was attracted to her, but he might still be mourning Maria. Or he might still think that Kendall was trouble with a capital T.

Kendall wandered over to Zach's bookcase. There was one of those nifty Bose speakers that cradled an iPod on it. Boys and their toys. Curious, Kendall checked to see what was last played. The little screen said "Styx. Show Me The Way." Kendall frowned. That seemed familiar to her. She wracked her brain trying to think of the tune. Maybe if she played it, she would remember. Would he mind? She reached out her finger to push Play, when Zach's voice startled her. "Putting on a little mood music?" She shrugged. "I don't know. The title looks familiar, but I can't place it. I was about to jog my memory." Zach glanced at the screen and then glanced back at her. He had a strange look on his face.

Suddenly, Kendall just wanted to forget the song. She wanted to ask the question she'd been dying to ask Zach all evening. "I told you while we were dancing that I'm over Ryan. Are you…do you still love Maria?" Zach looked away a moment, then back at her. "Yes, I do. She will always be in my heart." Kendall kept her face impassive, inwardly frustrated by the reply. "Do you still want to be with her?" Zach slowly shook his head. "No, I do not." Kendall breathed deeply and pressed further. "You didn't stop wanting her after she left you the first time. What was different this time? Did you meet a woman, here in Paris?" Zach smiled. "There is a woman, but I didn't meet her in Paris. She didn't help me get over Maria. Time and perspective did that. This woman did, however, help me to look forward. You could say that she showed me the way."

Zach reached over and pushed the Play button. Music flooded the apartment, and the hair on Kendall's neck stood up. It was the song from the cabin. "Every night I say a prayer in the hope that there's a heaven…" She had fallen asleep to it and dreamt about Zach. Zach had been having a nightmare, and when he woke up, he pulled her towards him. She'd been convinced that he was going to take her right then and there, and to her amazement she had known that she was going to let him.

"Show me the way, show me the way. Take me tonight to the river and wash my illusions away…" Zach watched Kendall's face as she remembered that night so long ago. Half awake, he had grabbed ahold of her like a lifeline, taking a risk that she would reject him and he would drown. Tonight, here in his apartment, he reached for her again. The risk wasn't that she would reject him. From the look in her eyes, there was no question of that. This time the risk was whether he would drown anyway.