Hiya!

Ok, ok, people, some of you may be wondering why I've posted this now. Well, at the moment, I'm desperately trying to avoid the horrible, terror of homework, and I've just looked back on the 17, yes that was 17 reviews I now have for this fic (I'm so happy!) that I was overcome by gratitude and everything, that I decided to post this for you. This chapter is dedicated to all my reviewers, who will be replied to at the end of this feature!

Warnings and disclaimer stand as usual, but beware, Nice!Snape coming up in this chapter, as promised! Now that's over, on with the fic!

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Chapter 4. A Revaluation of Old Enemies.

As Remus and Harry pulled back from the embrace, a new understanding and peace formed between them. Then, noticing the time, Remus jumped.

"Oh no!" Harry noticed this, and asked in alarm.

"What's wrong?"

"I just realised what day it is! There's a full moon tonight!" His panicked expression turned to one of horror. "I don't have any Wolfsbane Potion – I won't be safe."

"Can't you use the Shrieking Shack?" said a worried Harry.

"Yes, but I didn't want to leave you alone." He looked slightly sheepish. Harry just gave him a grin.

"I'll be fine. You don't need to worry about me."

"I do anyway. Maybe I could persuade Dumbledore to let Ron and Hermione come to Hogwarts early." He gave Harry a sharp look. "If you feel up to it." Harry's thin stomach gave a lurch. He had only just accepted he wasn't responsible for the deaths of Sirius, Cedric and his parents. And he looked a mess – malnourished, beaten black and blue, and they were sure to notice. But he'd have to face them sometime. Noticing Remus watching him, he swallowed.

"It's alright, I don't have to if you don't want to see them yet." Said Remus hurriedly. He didn't want to undo the work he had already done. "Or we could cast a few glamour spells on you and they wouldn't know." Harry swallowed again.
"If Dumbledore will let me, I think it is time I saw Ron and Hermione again. They need to know, and they deserve to know. Besides, they're so clever they'll figure it out anyway, but I know they'd rather I tell them. And no glamour spells. It's time I faced the music." He looked up at Remus' approving smile, and felt his apprehensiveness disappear. They were his best friends after all.

"Yes, I'm sure Ron and Hermione will be only too glad to see you Harry." Dumbledore's quiet rumbling voice startled them, and they turned sheepishly. "And of course, I will let them come, after seeing Harry's wonderful recovery. Well done. After all, it doesn't do to dwell on nightmares and to not want to live." He smiled, his blue eyes twinkling. "Harry, you will be pleased to here I've lifted the wards of the hospital wing, and you can leave at your leisure. The Gryffindor Tower will be open to you, the password is 'sherbet lemon', but feel free to change it. Dobby has left your belongings in the usual place. Oh, and Harry, breakfast will be in half an hour. Professor Snape would like to see you at some point as well." Harry's light heart sank a little as heard the last comment. What was he going to do now? Gloat over Golden Boy's weakness? Just what he needed. However, he hardened his heart, and have his headmaster a true smile.

"Thank you Professor."

"Ah, Remus, I'm sorry to break up the fun, but I need to talk to you about the arrangements for this evening." With that, he walked away. Remus turned to Harry, sorrow in his eyes at parting with Harry so soon.

"It's ok, Remus. Oh, and thank you. For everything." Harry smiled at him, and gave him a quick hug. Remus was slightly shocked at this sudden display of affection – before he had been holding a boy drowned in sorrow and despair, but now he seemed entirely different. 'But not quite.' a little voice said in the back of his head. 'He still needs you, possibly now more than ever.'

Some time later, after Harry had sent off letters to Ron and Hermione telling them they could come to stay at Hogwarts, and had a final check up from Madame Pomfrey, who insisted on checking him for glamour spells, and testing the still-red skin around his wrists, Harry wandered out of the hospital wing, revelling in his newfound freedom. After grabbing an enjoyable brunch from the kitchens (where an enthusiastic Dobby tried to bowl him over in hugs and praise), he suddenly remembered that he needed to talk to Snape. Sighing heavily, he decided now was better than never, and walked slowly down into the dungeons.

Stopping outside the entrance to Snape's office, he took a deep steeling breath and knocked loudly, his heart thumping. Immediately, the door burst open to reveal an irritated, greasy haired, crook nosed Snape. On seeing Harry, his expression softened quickly, and Harry felt suspicious.

"Ah, Harry. I hoped you would see me soon. Dumbledore asked me to talk to you. I hope you feel better?" This sudden and unexpected wave of politeness caught Harry off guard. Snape was worried about him? Was hell freezing over? Could he see pigs flying through the corridors?

"Harry?" Harry brought himself back to reality, and meekly followed Professor Snape into his office. Snape sat down, and gestured Harry to sit opposite him, pressing his fingertips together and leaning his elbows on several sheets of marking. Harry was, by this point, extremely uncomfortable, and sat, perching himself on the edge of the seat, waiting for Snape to continue.

"Firstly, I'd like to apologise for the actions of previous years. I was under the assumption you were, shall I say, a spoiled little brat. I also believed that you took after your father, and wrongfully, condoned you for what he did to me. My only defence is, that as a spy for the Dark Lord, I had to keep up appearances." Harry just nodded, his mind reeling slightly. Was Snape apologising? "And secondly, Dumbledore asked me to talk to you about what happened last summer." At this, Harry's eyes snapped up, hate and anger pulsing in them brightly.

"How dare you? How dare you talk to me about anything that happened this summer? You made my life living hell for 5 years, and now you want me to talk to you about that?" he growled under his breath, standing and knocking over the chair with a thud. Simultaneously, Snape got up, and they stood, face to face as he spoke quietly.

"Dumbledore wanted me to talk to you because I know what you're going through. Because it happened to me."

There was a long silence, in which they both stood, staring deeply into each other's eyes. Then, fuming, Harry made towards the door.

"I don't want to talk about it." Snape appeared next to him, before the door.

"But you need to talk about it. It will eat you up inside, it will twist your judgment and will, eventually, destroy you."

"Fine! Lets talk! Lets talk about how I was beaten! Lets talk about how I was raped! Lets talk about the non-stop nightmares! Lets talk about my only link to my family besides Remus is dead, because of me! That'll be a fun conversation." Harry was nearly yelling as loudly as he could, yelling away his frustration.

"Yes. I want to listen." This simple comment made Harry start. Finally, after another long pause, he stood the fallen chair back up, and sat on it. As Snape sat down opposite him again, he heard himself, as if from a distance, talking.

"It all started when I was 5, I think. The first time I remember being beaten was after my hair grew back after my aunt had cut it. My uncle hit me with his fists for doing anything 'unnatural'. After that, he would beat me for not doing chores, for more 'unnatural' acts, bad grades, anything. He even bought a special belt and would hit me with that. They also starved me, I was allowed barely any food." He paused for breath, not really knowing why he was pouring his heart out to one of his worst enemies.

"It all continued until I joined Hogwarts and then it stopped over the summers, but they would starve me, it got so bad I was on a slice of stale bread a day and a glass of water. Then, after last year, it was all brought to a head. As soon as I got home, my uncle hit me, gave me this," he pointed to a blackened eye "and took me into my bedroom. Then, then, he got the belt and hit me, again and again. I was screaming really loud, so he stuffed a gag in my mouth. And then," by now Harry was starting to shake violently, and his downcast eyes held fresh tears. He felt Snape's bony arms around him; somehow the man had moved around behind him while he was talking. Swallowing, he continued. "He said I deserved more punishment. H-he p-p-pulled down his t-trousers and r-raped me. It was so painful, and he kept doing it. I was pleading with him from behind the gag. I would've done anything at that point, even surrendered to Voldemort." He sniffed, wiping away a few of the tears. "When he'd finished, he called for Dudley, and m-made him r-r-rape me too. I was covered in blood, and then they just laughed. After that, they'd come in every day to p-punish me."

Snape was shocked. Not even his own experiences were as bad as this. Those muggles had a lot to answer for. Then, finding his voice, he asked

"Why didn't you tell the Order? They would've got you out of there." Harry gave a bitter laugh.

"My uncle had thought of that. He only unlocked Hedwig once a day to send a message which he would dictate. If he caught me trying anything 'funny', he said he would find a new way of punishing me." He turned to Snape, his eyes shining with tears. Snape had tried to prepare himself for this, but was startled when he saw dead and lifeless eyes staring back at him.

"I-I'm so sorry. I never thought-" he trailed off hopelessly. None of them had thought, and they should've done. Harry just turned away, wiping away more tears. He felt drained, but slightly happier now that it was said. Odd that it should feel better, he had always thought that people would hate and despise him for it, but he was pleasantly wrong.

"It's ok, Professor. I feel better already." He gave him a small smile.

"Good. Now, as I see that it is lunchtime, I suggest we go up to get something to eat. I know no one would forgive me if I didn't see you were eating."

They walked off to lunch together, appearing to the world as if they had been friends for years.

After lunch, Harry decided to take a walk around the grounds, to clear his mind. Without realising where he was heading towards, he looked up and saw Hagrids' hut. Happily noticing the wispy stream of smoke trailing out of the chimney, he decided to pay him a visit. It had been a long time since he had seen Hagrid, as he had been away on urgent business for the Order. Walking briskly forwards, he shoved his hands deep in his pockets. The playful breeze lifting his messy raven hair, and the bright birdsong echoing from the trees was enough to lift anyone's' spirit, and for the first time, Harry felt especially glad to be alive. Knocking loudly on the large wooden door, he had only time to notice a large, hairy figure standing in front of him before he was swept into a suffocating hug.

"'Harry! Yer back! It's good ter see yer mate." As the half giant stood back to take a good look at him, Harry saw two twinkling black eyes, a chaos of ragged brown hair and beard, and an expanse of moth-eaten overcoat. Then he saw the homely, friendly expression change to one of horror.

"Harry, what happened to yer? Yer as thin as a rake and smacked about to boot! 'ere, come inside, I'll put the kettle on and yer can tell me what happened." Harry followed the gigantic man into the tiny hut, and stayed silent as he watched him pour two enormous, steaming cups of tea. Then Hagrid sat down, and gave Harry a serious look. Harry gave him a small smile, if only to relieve his friends' worry. He knew he would have to tell his friends what had happened, but he felt uncomfortable talking about it. Still, at least he got a practise run in before he confronted Ron and Hermione. He swallowed a scalding sip of tea and began to talk, not looking Hagrid in the eye.

"Well, you know I stay with my aunt, uncle and cousin during the holidays, it was them. They used to beat me, and then, last summer, they, well, they raped me." He paused, not summoning up the courage to see Hagrids expression. Forcing his way on, he continued. "Yeah, well after last year, it seemed a bit much, and I came here, and tried to kill myself." He sounded so calm, as if talking about someone he didn't know. Hagrid was crying now, Harry could hear the deep sobs from Rubeus, and could barely stand it. Then Hagrid seemed to get a grip on himself, and lifting Harrys' chin so he could see his face, he spoke.

"Why din't you tell me? Damn those Dursleys, if I had know, they woulda been dead and gone to hell by now. And I suppose they starved you as well?" Harry nodded, feeling the tears from his cheeks drip onto Hagrids' large hand. Hagrid tenderly wiped them away with his other hand, ignoring the cooling tea in front of him.

"And I suppose you used glamour charms to hide these?" he gestured to the many scars and bruises he could see. Harry nodded again, dropping his face from Hagrids' hand.

"I didn't tell you because I thought you'd hate me and think I was weak." He said quietly, studying his hands, then adding hastily, "I know you wouldn't now, but well, I wasn't really thinking straight. I'm sorry.

"Yer have no right ter apologise. I'm sorry for not noticin'. And to think I said you were my friend! Some friend I turned out to be. And I would never, ever think you were weak. You're the strongest, bravest and noblest person I've ever met. Yer do yer father proud, Harry. And yer mother. Wonderful people."

He gave Harry another serious look, and then wrapped him in another hug. Harry savoured the feeling; Hagrid was his first friend, the person who had rescued him from the Dursleys. Then, pulling out of the rib-breaking hold, he drained some more of the tea, and took a biscuit.

"So what've you been doing recently Hagrid? We missed you."

"Yeah, well, I can't tell you, I'm sorry Harry. You know, business for the Order." Harry knew better than to pursue the matter, and spent an enjoyable afternoon discussing Quidditch, next years' Care of Magical Creatures lessons, and everything else.

As the sun sank lower in the sky outside the window, and the small fire in the hearth went out, Hagrid and Harry walked back to the castle together for dinner. Only to find a surprise meeting them when they arrived.

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As always, please leave a review, even if its tiny – one sentence, one phrase, one word, one letter! I'm kinda desperate here as you can tell. Specially as I'm not really sure about this chapter, as it sort of leaves the general angstyness alone for a bit (Oh dear, just spoilt the plot a little! Oops.) Just tell me what you think, though I don't really have any ideas for Mega Angst Harry throughout this fic. Bye for now!

Review Responses

ciz:- thankyou, and heres the update. Happy reading!

Sam:- thanks (I always seem to say that, but I mean it every time), and don't worry, H/Hg fun coming up soon!

BlindJedi:- Thankyou, and here's your nice Snape (but don't worry, you ain't seen the last of it!) I thought the same bout Harrys angst too (well I did write it) but I thought that he needs time to get over this. I apologise to anyone who has been through anything like this, as I have not, and if it is any way offensive, wrong or anything, because I'm drawing mainly on others' writing and accounts. Thankyou.

Shdurrani:- thankyou, and I will definitely try to keep up the good work. Hope this chapter meets your satisfaction.