Conversations with Dad.
See, a new chapter to Senior Year. Also, note that this chapter is A. short and B. more talky. IT was very difficult to write. For those of you who do not keep abreast with U.S. religious denominations, Cally's father is protestant (probably Baptist), but it's not part of a larger, organized church, although he probably did go to a seminary (or protestant equivelant).
Little of Kim in this, but after the next chapter, we may be getting back to Kim...and Bonny.
"You're, my mom?" Cally asked.
"Um…" Everything Shego had been intended to say ran gibbering out of her mind. "Yes." Cally didn't say anything, while Shego sat desperately still, hoping that Cally wouldn't turn and flee.
"Why…" Cally paused, "Why didn't you keep me? Didn't you love me?" Cally asked. "Is that why you gave me up?"
"No- Um…" Shego paused, gulped and continued, "That wasn't it—I didn't know, if I had-" You would have screwed her life up, in addition to your own? "See, when you were born they told me that you had, um, died, and-" Now Shego gripped her arm of the couch until it creaked.
Oh God, please don't let me start crying, not in front of Cally. Do something, anything.
"BONG BONG BONG!" Someone was leaning on the doorbell. When Izumi went to answer the door, there was a pause. Then Izumi came back looking slightly put out.
"Cally…friends of yours." She said. "Something about one of our guests…"
"Um…." Cally looked over at Shego.
"Don't worry." Shego said, getting two words out, at least. "We can talk after you say hi to your friends." There, twelve words—she was completely under control. Izumi walked to the door with Cally, who made a motion for Kim to follow—Kim did, looking with concern over at Shego. Then there was an explosion of squeals.
Why not. Kim's the hero. If they knew you were here it'd be an explosion of screams.
Izumi came back, looking affectionately annoyed.
"Well, they'll be occupied until Kim hides under the bed, if I'm any guess." She looked over at Ron. "Do you?"
"Oh, no…. Kim's the public person." Ron said, grinning.
"Oh Ron…." Kim's voice came, "I think I need you…"
"On the other hand…" Andrea said. Ron looked desperate, but found no mercy, so he left…to another explosion of screams.
"I wonder…" Michael said. "If those two know how much of an impact they've had."
"Well, they stopped us enough." Shego said. Michael shook his head.
"Not that sort of impact." Michael shrugged, "Too many of our 'role models' aren't heroes—they're thugs who happen to be shooting at our enemies, or made up Hollywood inventions. Kim and Ron aren't—they're real heroes, with just enough flaws to make them human."
"Oh, yes, they have flaws." Kim's mother said. "Maybe I should…no, they saved the world. That's worth something, so I'll save the junior high school stories for next time." Izumi and Andrea shared a League of Mothers look.
"Well I know that your daughter makes the PE teachers very, very happy." Izumi commented, "In the last several years, it's become much easier to get girls to participate."
"That's definitely Cally." Michael chuckled, "She'll be a holy terror when she gets to high school…"
"She isn't now?" Izumi asked affectionately.
"I remember my own childhood, and therefore, I shall not cast the first stone." Michael replied virtuously. Shego found herself smiling at that. With that, Izumi turned to Andrea and Shego.
"You'll be staying for dinner, right?" That was an order, if Shego had ever heard one.
"Of course…" Andrea said. Shego nodded.
"I… But if you don't mind…" Shego paused, "I'll go out on the porch for a few minutes… I've been inside so many places I'm getting claustrophobic in my old age." Michael and Izumi shared an odd look and then nodded.
"Certainly." As Shego got up, she heard Andrea speaking to Izumi.
"I'll help, if you don't mind…since we dropped in unannounced."
"OK…"
"Besides, I want to find out if a completely unbiased source agrees with my daughter on the evils of meatloaf in the form of a brain…"
"Well, for the Legal Day open house I made a cake in the shape of the court house…"
Looking out from the porch, Shego saw that the sun was descending. They'd spent more time inside than she'd expected. Kim, Ron and the kids were still talking, which didn't bother Shego at all…because she had no idea what to say or do.
She'd expected evil step mothers, or some arrogant super rich man, or a cop who'd ticket his own mother…. But not this. Not a home for Cally.
And why should I get involved in this? Half crazy mercenary… who has frothing fits…maybe it would be better…
"Quarter for your thoughts," Michael said, coming outside and pulling out a cigarette. "Given inflation and all. He laughed softly, "Sorry about this, but sometimes I get the nicotine craving, and the first thing Izumi let me know was that I wasn't going to smoke those disgusting sticks inside the house."
"That's…" Shego paused. It really wasn't any of her business.
"Unsafe, to some extent—but I smoke about once a week…and in truth, I got kinda used to it during my rookie years, and as much as I cut back, I just can't stop entirely. "
"Rookie years."
"Yep—the first time a cop learns that sometimes you really want to be able to light up something to get a smell out of your nose." He said. Shego paused, and then started talking.
"But I think it may have been for the best." Shego said. Michael didn't have to ask what she was referring to.
"Why?"
"Because I was a dumb sixteen year old." Shego said, unwillingly. She wished she could say something else, but… "To me, singing to a baby inside me was cool…do you think I would have done diapers and tantrums, and feeding her?"
"Don't' know—won't ever know." He said, "and if 'not being prime mommy material' was an excuse to lie and take children, it would be done a lot more…and be just as wrong." He paused, "I've seen excons that are the most loving parents, and rich people who have abused their children in ways I still don't want to remember. She was your daughter, not Hego's. If he'd convinced you, maybe…but he didn't. " Michael looked at her, "And in any case, I think that no matter what Hego thought the reason was, it was more to avoid a scene—to keep his vision of what life should be like intact." He paused, "He'll pay for that."
"You're…not going to do anything legal, are you?" Shego asked unwillingly. Why am I doing this? I don't owe Hego anything. But her mouth continued, "Hego is her Uncle, after all…"
"Who got rid of his niece." Michael said quietly, "Who showed that he thought of her as an embarrassment, not a gift. Cally isn't dumb, and she'll realize that." He looked out at the neighborhood, under the red of the setting sun, "And that's his first price—his own flesh and blood, whether or not she chooses to forgive him, will know that he choose the easy path—the path that sacrificed her future with you." He paused, "And of course the rest of the family will also know it."
"Yeah…" Shego said.
"He'll bear some of the blame for you leaving." Michael looked over at Shego, holding her in his eyes, "Not all, of course. But some. Enough. It's hard to keep faith when it's been broken to you." Shego blinked.
Nah. But now that she thought about it, her obsession with contracts had dated from a few years after she'd had Cally…
"So," Shego asked, "How did a police officer come to…" She indicated the church.
"What terrible tragedy in my life led to me putting down the gun and picking up the Cross?" Michael laughed, "Well, I can say many things, but one of 'em was that I'm older than Izumi, I don't like desk work, and that whole 'jump over four fences and three cars' thing was beginning to take some energy out of me." Some of the laughter deserted him.
"And yes, there…" He looked around, "There was a kid, Lamar, nice kid, bit of a thief, lousy home situation…" He shrugged, "You know the story. Had a possible shot at a sports scholarship, but he got busted on a B&E, which shot that down the tubes. After that…well, it all went down the tubes for him." Michael turned around and looked at the church. "I do some prison work and he's there—he almost never stays out more than a week before he's back in—he has nightmares, he's thin, and he had more grey in his hair at 37 then I do at 56." Michael shook his head. "He isn't… wasn't a bad kid, mind you—never hurt anyone, never tried armed robbery…but he is a criminal. Even if I could say, move heaven and earth to get him out…well, I don't know—he'd just be in again, because by now, it's pretty much the only life he knows."
"But it sounds like…" Shego started.
"I know—typical petty thief gone bad." Michael sighed, "But he had so much potential. They all do. When their parents show up—if they're lucky and have good parents, they always bring those pictures of them at Kindergarten, getting the gold star for math…others aren't so lucky—the only thing they got from their parents were beatings." He laughed, "So I decided to take my retirement and do something about it—this church had been hanging around since forever—it was a drug user hangout, so I bought it, fixed it up and started inviting people in."
"Here?"
"Neighborhood wasn't quite this nice back then. The local gang decided to burn me out."
"They did?"
"Yep, three times—almost went broke buying wood to fix the place."
"What did you do?"
"Let 'em know that I wasn't leaving, but if they wanted to come in with a question instead of a Molotov, the door was open…eventually it worked…. Lots more to do, though, always is." Michael shook his head, "But not as bad as it seems—not a lot of people ever start out life saying: 'I'm gonna be a crook, or a child abuser'…. They just fall into it, sometimes wondering how the hell they got there." He laughed, "So if it's my place to help them have a meeting on the road to Damascus, well, that's my place."
"Yeah…" Shego muttered. She'd never exactly planned to become a sidekick to a super villain.
"So…how did you come to save your great arch-foe?" Michael asked.
"Oh, Go-sorry, that was something weird." Shego found herself telling Michael about the attack on Kim, her fall into addiction and madness, kidnapping her from the hospital, and finally their fun in Tokyo. When she'd finished, the sun was below the horizon.
"So after I finished with 'em in Tokyo…" She paused, "I figured that was it—but then my whole life went to pieces." This time she didn't hesitate. "Thanks God, thanks a lot."
"Well you should, sounds like something He'd pull." Michael said mediatitively. "In fact, I can tell you exactly why all this is happening."
"Oh?"
"Acts of charity are never safe, you understand. Not real charity. It's like real virtue—not something cuddly you keep up on the shelf until you want it. It'ssomething good…but dangerous all at the same time." He flicked an ember of the cigarette out into the now dark yard, the red spark falling like a dying star. "I'm not talking about some individual who gives money he can afford to lose. I'm talking about the man who gives the coat off his back—his only coat, to someone in need, with no guarantee that he'll ever see another. Like you—helping your enemies, for no damn good reason. And then helping them again. Do that, say once, 'to hell with good judgment, I'm here to help…' well you have no way of knowing when or where that is going to end."
"And I don't have a choice?" Shego said, snarkily.
"Of course you do—turn around and reject the burden and gift." Michael said, no humor in his voice. "Lots of people take that route…too many."
"Oh." Shego paused, looking out at the lights of the neighborhood. "It must…get hard."
"Oh yeah…sometimes you can talk until you're blue in the face and people nod, smile, walk out and you can tell they kinda missed everything between 'hello' and 'goodbye'. But…there's progress." He gestured back into the house. "Cally's best girlfriend…. Her great-granddad was a grand dragon in the KKK… would cross the street to avoid an uppity nigger and than plan a visit to them later that night. Her Granddad was the biggest proponent of segregation …burned a cross once outside my granddads house … for a time. He repented of that before he died, thank God. But… His son is a member of the PD, one of the most just men I know, and James's friend and partner, and his daughter and Cally are inseparable. It takes time…but if you keep to it, have faith, you're rewarded…. By being able to see you gave your children a better world than you grew up in." Shego looked around, and suddenly realized something…something that made her feel much better…better than she had for some time.
Your daughter… Shego thought Has no coward for a father, or a mother. She'd dreaded finding her in some hellhole, or daughter to some obnoxious middle class twits who would walk to the other side of the street to avoid having to help. Shego might make fun of Kimmie…but the lowest of the low were those cowards who bellowed what they would do…until they were given a chance.
Well Michael and Izumi would never walk down the other side of the street, she was certain of that. Neither would Cally. In fact…confronted by the Evil Shego, she wondered how many kids would have just wet themselves, or curled up in a ball…instead of throwing the ball at her head. Shego's lips twitched in an involuntary smile at that. She hadn't thought of that right then.
"So what do I do?" Shego asked.
"Right now? Eat dinner. Talk to your daughter." He paused, "Later? Solve that seizure problem and figure out what you want to do." He grinned, "You're a good woman."
"I'm a super villainess." Shego muttered, "Like I told my brothers, I'm evil."
"Maybe not as evil as you think…and in any case, often there's a lot less distance between great saints and sinners than there is between great saints and those who refuse to take any stand." He laughed, "Of course, if Cally's any indication, you shouldn't measure yourself for wings just yet."
"Cally gets in trouble?"
"Trouble? No. Not trouble. Not unless you consider getting angry at some bullies who were a year ahead of her, beating them up and then chasing them all over the school trouble." Shego's eyes widened.
"You're kidding!"
"Nope, and she had the weeks suspension to show for it—my fault, I'm afraid."
"Why?" Michael's voice took on Cally's cadences. "'Daddy, I'm sorry, but you said never to lie so I can't apologize to them. They were mean.'"
"Oh…Oh…." Shego found herself bursting into natural laughter for the first time in a long time….
TBC.