Chapter Four:

A.N. Okay I know it took me forever to update...almost three months, pathetic I know. But I Was gone for 2 and a half of those months so you know what you get out of the wait? Lots of updates because I have the entire (from this chapter until the end) plotted out! So here it goes, I hope you guys stuck with me! And no more cruel drawing out Logan's explanation is first and foremost in this chapter!

"Well?" Lorelai demands as she and Luke watch Logan pace back and forth across his office.

"I'm sorry," Logan apologizes stopping suddenly and facing the two. "You want to know why I left Rory in the first place?"

"Yes," Lorelai's tone is impatient and tired.

"The day before I left her I went to a party that Rory had been invited to, and I've never felt so out of place in my entire life."

"That's why you left my beautiful daughter?" Tears water Lorelai's eyes, "because you felt out of place at a party."

"Please," Logan pleas quietly, "let me fully explain myself. This party was full of people who were doing something with their lives, something they earned totally on their own merit. Not because of what their last name was or who their father was, I hadn't even been invited I was the "guest" in this situation."

"Oh," the breath seems to leave Lorelai's body as she sinks back against her seat, realization dawning on her face.

"I left Rory because I knew that I'd never be good enough for her. She was going to do something amazing with her life and I could only prevent her from doing something great. I got her involved in the Life and Death Bridage and so many other things that could have ruined her chances at being spectacular. So I walked away because I knew that if I didn't do it that night, if I'd let her know what I thought, she'd talk me out of it and I would never go. I would be the reason that Rory didn't reach her full potential."

"You left because you didn't think you were good enough for Rory?" Like clarifies, even though on one actually needs his clarification or the harsh tone behind it.

Logan nods and Lorelai adds, "she never knew that. You know. She always thought you finally realized what your family always saw in her, nothing."

Logan's expression crumbles at Lorelai's words and she feels guilty for even saying them. But despite his broken expression he continues on with his long explanation of actions years past. "The nine months ago we ran into each other at a news conference and everything was still there, all of our feelings for each were exactly the same. We had both changed so much but our feelings remained exactly the same.

"The details don't need to be gone into but we did sleep together, but the next morning I guess it was her turn to leave. She was gone when I woke up. When I didn't hear from her I figured she didn't want to talk to me so I didn't contact her. I honestly had no idea she was pregnant, if I had...I would have come forward and she wouldn't have had to have been alone..." At his words Logan bursts into tears for the first time.

Lorelai and Luke remain still for the first couple of minutes neither of them know exactly how to take this news. They'd always blamed Logan for everything, he was the idiot they told Rory she wasn't good enough from him and here, after all these years their words had been true. If only Rory had been alive to hear them.

"I wanted to hate him." Lorelai's comment breaks the silence that had blanketed the truck half way to Stars Hollow. "Hell, did I want to hate him. But he really did love her. More then Jess or Dean could ever boast, I think." Dean hadn't understood Rory's potential and Jess hadn't seen it, Logan had seen him and despite his feelings for her had stepped out of her way so that she could reach it.

Luke just grunts in response, he'd been silent since Logan had started his tale and afterward when Logan and Lorelai had comforted one another Luke had remained silent and still. He didn't care what his wife's opinion on the matter was, he hated the son of a bitch and no sob story was going to change that.

"I think it's good that he's coming down this weekend to see Victoria, if Rory had known the whole story then maybe things would have been different." When her husband doesn't respond Lorelai relapses into the silence that she'd sat in halfway from the city.

"So that's it then?" Luke asks as they arrive passed the Welcome to Stars Hollow sign on the outskirts of town.

"Yeah," Lorelai nods, grateful that the silence is over even if it's just talk about the trip, "we made good time. Sookie will probably be glad for relief."

"I don't mean the trip," Like shakes his head, navigating his truck along the deserted streets of the small town. "Now we have to star living our lives without her."

"Yeah," Lorelai has no more tears to shed and her voice remains grave. "How do we do that?"

A.N. I realize that this is an insanely short chapters, but I had to leave it off here because the next chapter starts their lives without Rory off and that should be a totally different chapter right? But anyway look for an update sometime tomorrow! That's assuming pesky things like work and my English class ( I teach English at my church) don't get in the way!